Why Does Moving in Together DESTROY Relationships

[ubercat]

Yep. Mystery is removed. So you have to build some interests and routines and surprises in. And you d better understand that men thrive in routine and women thrive on variety. I ve been with my lady for nearly six years. Bedroom is very healthy. I ll give you my usual checklist. Women need to be:

Led
Pampered
Socialised
Disciplined
Shagged senseless
Surprised

And you d better have her interests your interests some shared interests and some plans for the long term. Kids investments living in Paris for s year, whatever.

 

[SW15]

Don’t live with any woman until she’s your wife.

Cohabitation destroys mystery, challenge, romance, all of it.

I haven't lived with any of my girlfriends. I thought that at one time I would eventually move in with a girlfriend. The more I read about it though, the less I wanted to go through with it. I also don't want to get married.

 

[Zontyy]

I think the fix for this is to get a job that sometimes requires travel.

I’m If you can find a job where your gone 1 week a month in a foreign country then she misses you etc etc.

 

[Grinderman]

Mystery has nothing to do with it. This is another red pill myth.

Two stable people who are going on the same direction, have the same values, the same views on money, religion, kids, the in-laws....
do not care about "mystery".

Men simply do not screen enough beyond the physical. That's why your "live in girlfriend" situation will fall to pieces.

Why would you want to move in with a woman anyway if it's not for marriage. I'll tell you why...men will think "great, puzzy on tap whenever I want it". Does not consider compatibility. Does not consider common values. Does not consider his own or the woman's character.

Fools rush in. Simple as that.

 

[derby1]

women are submissive to those they are Dependent on, for instance in the UK, it is now common for the fool to move in her welfare home , and for her to do more of the car driving. Trouble is women dont date their dinner, so to speak. This same guy will get the "its not you its me speech" in about 2 years.

Lets say you earn 40 thousand pounds a year, its an okay wage but its not gonna make you stand out, your woman will know innately that she can bail on you and get the same lifestyle on the welfare. This is the reason I mention welfare a lot, most men cant offer anything different

However if you check out guys in the UK who earn over 100k a year, the behaviour of their G/Fs is chalk and cheese. its a real red pill moment to witness how they dont even upload selfies, no orbiters within reason, theyre fun, chatty, well presented, they soon turn off the feminist programming

 

[derby1]

Mystery has nothing to do with it. This is another red pill myth.

I agree whenever Ive tried any of this nonsense women have bailed on me

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

My thoughts:

1. It's foolish to get married before you live together for a decent amount of time. You will never know if you truly like each other until you live together. Cohabitate for a couple years could save a divorce.

2. People always will step on each other's toes when living together. This just proves how little you actually liked each other in the first place.

 

[EyeBRollin]

1. It's foolish to get married before you live together for a decent amount of time. You will never know if you truly like each other until you live together. Cohabitate for a couple years could save a divorce.

Sorry but this is flat wrong with data that is conclusive. Cohabitation before marriage has a higher rate of divorce. I don’t know why so many men argue this point when the facts clearly state the contrary.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

1). Don’t marry someone that won’t give you enough personal space before moving in. If your gf is smothering you/taking every ounce of weekend of your time sleeping over and etc then imagine being married.

2). Don’t marry an unstable sociopath. Quit seeing obvious red flags as game opportunities and using feminine game tactics to confront them. Either call the girl out or leave the relationship. Her issues will be magnified in cohabitation and game isn’t going to save your dusty butt in front of a divorce judge period.

3). Understand the realities of moving in together instead of romanticizing **** that won’t happen.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Sorry but this is flat wrong with data that is conclusive. Cohabitation before marriage has a higher rate of divorce. I don’t know why so many men argue this point when the facts clearly state the contrary.

exactly, a woman(especially white) can put on an act for a long period of time before she turns on you. Read the red flags early in the relationship and do not dismiss them.

 

[Grinderman]

Living together as a married couple and living together as a non-married couple carry a completely different dynamic.

The intention is completely different. The intention is what drives the couple. The intention of a couple who wants to marry, prepares for marriage and wants the marriage to work is completely different than the intention of the couple who say "lets go on a trial run and if it doesn't work out, great we have saved ourselves a divorce"

completely different intention, dynamic and energy.

Men who don't screen for values and scrutinize the woman's character before jumping into a long term commitment with her usually aren't sure of their own values or aware of weaknesses in their own character that need to be shored up.

It's just a piece of paper? Nope. It's the intention that drives it.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

I never claimed that myself, but it's a fair point. I've also wondered why if you're a high value male you see girls with lower quality guys. Sometimes HOT girls.

I have seen very hot 8-9/10's with the fattest or skinniest guys ever with no sense of style. Yet me with a good style and good looks can't get over a 7.5 and that is rare. Definitely something else going on.

the randomness inherent in the game, right place right time, etc. I bagged a 10/10 18 year-old pro swimmer when I was a scrawny 21 year-old with no clue about women(minus the stuff that comes naturally to me, I'm funny and attractive) Right place right time. Didn't even game her.

It's just a piece of paper? Nope. It's the intention that drives it.

This guy gets it

 

[manfrombelow]

That's why, unless for the sole reason of raising offsprings, men should never co-habitate with women.

As a man, what is your biggest asset to a woman? Your resources, or to be exact, your capability in making resources.

As a woman, what is her biggest asset to a man? Sex, and support in nurturing the offsprings (if any).

Why is it that women so keen on "locking" men to co-habitate with them under one roof? Because she doesn't want him to SHARE his resources to any other woman, hence lowering the survival chance of herself and her offspring.

Why is it that (alpha) men not so keen on co-habiting with women under one roof? Because he doesn't want to lower his chance of having sexual intercourses with other women. Let's face it, it's more easy for us to spin plates living alone than co-habiting with a female.

So, the moment a man agrees to co-habitate with a woman, he loses his power. From that moment on, she has won the battle. She has already had him. So she doesn't have to actively svck his d!ck even before he has to ask for fear of losing him.

He, on the other hand, now has ONLY ONE supply of sex: from her. So he has lost the battle. He literally has to beg for sex to be able to bust his nuts once a week if he's lucky.

And the longer this state of life goes on, the less attracted she is to him. Hence OP's question.

 

[SirBigBell]

Moving in with a girl too soon destroys more than it builds. It takes away the mystery of romance. Something valuable is lost when you hear her dropping logs in the bathroom while you’re trying to enjoy your bowl of Kelloggs Coco Puffs. Delay moving in together for as long as is possible

 

[SargeMaximus]

Moving in with a girl too soon destroys more than it builds. It takes away the mystery of romance. Something valuable is lost when you hear her dropping logs in the bathroom while you’re trying to enjoy your bowl of Kelloggs Coco Puffs. Delay moving in together for as long as is possible

Strategies for doing this with girls who push for it without losing them?

 

[SirBigBell]

Strategies for doing this with girls who push for it without losing them?

Simply tell her “Ive had awful experiences in the past after cohabiting was done prematurely. I now believe in getting to know someone and travelling at the correct pace until both sides are absolutely certain, confident and comfortable that moving in is the naturally right thing to do. With the right person at the right time, everything is beautiful”
A sensible girl will not only accept this explanation, but will respect you for it too.

 

[Kotaix]

Living together with another person forces you to have to put up with all their neurosis. Lots of times this means that you realize you didn't actually know the person all that well. I purposefully don't say women here because I've also had problems living with male roommates back in the day.

You can never know a person fully until you have to live with them in close quarters or for extended periods. This is why travelling with friends is a great way to ruin friendships, and this is why many couples that move on together fail. Getting married to someone you haven't cohabitated with is a huge gamble.

Another recipe for disaster is getting into relationships with women who aren't capable of self-reflection or communication, and then insisting on trying to make these bad relationships work.

 

[Velasco]

She sees that your a lazy piece of sht that just smokes weed and sits on his phone the whole day instead of what she imagined your day to day life to be. If your day to day life is being outside the house most of the time, then dont see living together as a problem cuz she again has to imagine what your out doing outside the house.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Simply tell her “Ive had awful experiences in the past after cohabiting was done prematurely. I now believe in getting to know someone and travelling at the correct pace until both sides are absolutely certain, confident and comfortable that moving in is the naturally right thing to do. With the right person at the right time, everything is beautiful”
A sensible girl will not only accept this explanation, but will respect you for it too.

Golden, thank you. I’m saving a lot of these posts

 

[manfrombelow]

Strategies for doing this with girls who push for it without losing them?

Simple: "Sorry babe, but for now I'm not ready to co-habitate, because I'm comfortable living this way, and I really hope you won't try pushing this same conversation again."

And basically, what's wrong about losing them? By asking this question, you're not having abundant mindset, which is BAD. I don't care if the chick you're dating is Miss World, you should train your mind to not fear losing them at any given moment.