Why Does Moving in Together DESTROY Relationships

[SargeMaximus]

Simple: "Sorry babe, but for now I'm not ready to co-habitate, because I'm comfortable living this way, and I really hope you won't try pushing this same conversation again."

And basically, what's wrong about losing them? By asking this question, you're not having abundant mindset, which is BAD. I don't care if the chick you're dating is Miss World, you should train your mind to not fear losing them.

Normally I’d agree, but being a virgin into my 28th year because of a “I don’t care if she likes me” mind set made me realize it’s more complex than that

 

[manfrombelow]

Normally I’d agree, but being a virgin into my 28th year because of a “I don’t care if she likes me” mind set made me realize it’s more complex than that

Being a virgin at 28 means you were having too many problems, especially on the psychological level, to solve before even thinking of building a normal sexual interaction with a person of the opposite sex, let alone building an abundant mindset. (Anyway, seeing you're 33 now, I - as a fellow man - really do hope you've solved them all.)

 

[SargeMaximus]

Being a virgin at 28 means you were having too many problems, especially on the psychological level, to solve before even thinking of building a normal sexual interaction with a person of the opposite sex, let alone building an abundant mindset. (Anyway, seeing you're 33 now, I - as a fellow man - really do hope you've solved them all.)

I have **** buddies. I no longer suffer from depression. But I’m borderline aspergers, social Interactions bore me and I suck at game. Women come into me and I drive them away with my talk. Except my fwbs but they are 5.5-6.5 at the current moment.

always striving for the 10’s but not keeping myself from sex. Excuse of it or is still be a virgin

 

[manfrombelow]

I have **** buddies. I no longer suffer from depression. But I’m borderline aspergers, social Interactions bore me and I suck at game. Women come into me and I drive them away with my talk. Except my fwbs but they are 5.5-6.5 at the current moment.

always striving for the 10’s but not keeping myself from sex. Excuse of it or is still be a virgin

1. That's why you need to constantly date multiple women to learn and up your game.

2. I don't know about others here, but the reality is that there is a limit on the level of chicks you are able to date (and bang) in accordance to your own level. Let's say if your level is 6 (above average), then the best you can do is 6 and below, which is exactly what you're having now.

But if you want to bang 10's at your current level? I'd say it's nonsense and that you should forget it. Don't be too hard on yourself just because you've heard guys here saying they fvck 10's on a daily basis. I mean come on, people brag and exaggerate all the time.

 

[SargeMaximus]

1. That's why you need to constantly date multiple women to learn and up your game.

2. I don't know about others here, but the reality is that there is a limit on the level of chicks you are able to date (and bang) in accordance to your own level. Let's say if your level is 6 (above average), then the best you can do is 6 and below, which is exactly what you're having now.

But if you want to bang 10's at your current level? I'd say it's nonsense and that you should forget it. Don't be too hard on yourself just because you've heard guys here saying they fvck 10's on a daily basis. I mean come on, people brag and exaggerate all the time.

Yeah but I’m a good looking guy. I’ve seen uglier guys have hotter girls so I know it’s possible

 

[manfrombelow]

Yeah but I’m a good looking guy. I’ve seen uglier guys have hotter girls so I know it’s possible

If you really think it's about the matter of look as a guy, then you still have a lot to learn, because you don't understand anything about the essence of the dynamics between males and females.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If you really think it's about the matter of look as a guy, then you still have a lot to learn, because you don't understand anything about the essence of the dynamics between males and females.

No I don’t that’s why I’m trying to learn game. You used the looks scale so I was responding to that. Havent you read my other posts? I 100% believe game is more important. I been trying to learn game since 2012 tho and only made progress once I did my own thing. Most pua advice I tried did not work for me at all and got me less results than I get when I just be myself.

so I do feel stuck but I also believe if ugly guys can get hot girls then so can I with game. So here I am

 

[manfrombelow]

No I don’t that’s why I’m trying to learn game. You used the looks scale so I was responding to that.

No I did not.

I used the term "level", and perhaps I did not make myself clear. But if a woman's (perceived) level is her looks, then a man's (perceived) level is mostly his social status, money, confidence, conversation skills, intelligence, psychological knowledge... his look only comes last.

 

[SargeMaximus]

No I did not.

I used the term "level", and perhaps I did not make myself clear. But if a woman's (perceived) level is her looks, then a man's (perceived) level is mostly his social status, money, confidence, conversation skills, intelligence, psychological knowledge... his look only comes last.

ah and that is where I have no skill. Not social, introvert, nearly autistic, brokebut not much debt, hate conversations, I have balls to approach but it never goes anywhere. Psychological knowledge I have but maybe not the kind you’re referring to.

that said I don’t want to be social because it bores me. So if that’s gonna hinder me I’ll take my sanity over hot girls tbh

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Mystery has nothing to do with it. This is another red pill myth.

Two stable people who are going on the same direction, have the same values, the same views on money, religion, kids, the in-laws....
do not care about "mystery".

Men simply do not screen enough beyond the physical. That's why your "live in girlfriend" situation will fall to pieces.

Why would you want to move in with a woman anyway if it's not for marriage. I'll tell you why...men will think "great, puzzy on tap whenever I want it". Does not consider compatibility. Does not consider common values. Does not consider his own or the woman's character.

Fools rush in. Simple as that.

Exactly this!!!!!

Why the fvck are 2 people who argue and fight 70% of the time moving in together?? If you do that when you only see each other a few times a week what do you think will happen when it's 24/7???

Compatibility long term is key to making anything work long term. And compromise. You cannot always get your way in every situation. When two people are not mature enough to understand how to compromise then the relationship is doomed to fail from the beginning.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Exactly this!!!!!

Why the fvck are 2 people who argue and fight 70% of the time moving in together?? If you do that when you only see each other a few times a week what do you think will happen when it's 24/7???

Compatibility long term is key to making anything work long term. And compromise. You cannot always get your way in every situation. When two people are not mature enough to understand how to compromise then the relationship is doomed to fail from the beginning.

To be fair, my ex gf and I never fought and always had the same likes and dislikes. Moving in introduced some magical unspoken element and things went to pieces.

I think moving in is an important step to take IF you are looking for a long term partner, but it should be treated as another TEST to see if she will fit into your life. Not “well we are moved in so that is the end”

 

[BackInTheGame78]

To be fair, my ex gf and I never fought and always had the same likes and dislikes. Moving in introduced some magical unspoken element and things went to pieces.

I think moving in is an important step to take IF you are looking for a long term partner, but it should be treated as another TEST to see if she will fit into your life. Not “well we are moved in so that is the end”

If you don't KNOW that's a person you want to be with prior to moving in together then you shouldn't move in. That's where people fvck up. It isn't a test. You either know you want to or know you don't. And if you aren't at that point then you simply don't.

 

[SargeMaximus]

If you don't KNOW that's a person you want to be with prior to moving in together then you shouldn't move in. That's where people fvck up. It isn't a test. You either know you want to or know you don't. And if you aren't at that point then you simply don't.

I disagree. There are a bunch of little things you’ll never notice unless you actually live together for extended periods of time. It’s part of the screening process. Never assume you’ve won even if you’re married or moved in (never get married anyhow I’m just making a point ), and always have an escape plan and backup girls.

I did and when I broke up with my gf I ****ed my side chick that week

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I disagree. There are a bunch of little things you’ll never notice unless you actually live together for extended periods of time. It’s part of the screening process. Never assume you’ve won even if you’re married or moved in (never get married anyhow I’m just making a point ), and always have an escape plan and backup girls.

I did and when I broke up with my gf I ****ed my side chick that week

You can disagree but you are simply wrong. As @EyeBRollin states the divorce rate between people who have lived together versus peopl e who didn't prior to getting married doesn't lie.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You can disagree but you are simply wrong.

Not in my experience

 

[Velasco]

Experience Vs "statistics"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not in my experience

Refer to the updated post

 

[SargeMaximus]

Refer to the updated post

Like I said, I’m not saying people should get married. I’m speaking of an effective way to see if the girl is “all that” not an effective way to date. I also said IF you were seeking a long term thing.

All things considered, if one of my fwbs wanted me to move in I’d do it but I’d also keep seeing other girls. Having another pad to live in is a good thing.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

To be fair, my ex gf and I never fought and always had the same likes and dislikes. Moving in introduced some magical unspoken element and things went to pieces.

I think moving in is an important step to take IF you are looking for a long term partner, but it should be treated as another TEST to see if she will fit into your life. Not “well we are moved in so that is the end”

are you really sure though? How long were y’all together? The fact that y’all had no disagreements is really questionable.

 

[SargeMaximus]

are you really sure though? How long were y’all together? The fact that y’all had no disagreements is really questionable.

We were together about 6 months before moving in. No fights. Just lots of sex and exploring trips and such