Silence , Distance and calling her out on her bull****

[gabvfx]

Im usually unreactive and unphased when women throw in some bull**** or cause drama ( even though I get really upset sometimes I just really don't let it show 90% of the time).
Thing is sometimes I think that may be a passive agressive way of dealing with things, should confrontations with women be avoided? I understand that when I don't let the emotions take over me, or say things I shouldn't when im hot headed places me in a position of power.
However I wonder in which instances you should really call them out on their bull**** instead of just silent treatment. It appears to me that women like to cause drama on purpose to spice things up.
I noticed this and have tried it especially with younger women, they purposedly trying to cause fights and when I respond in a more agressively tone they seem to get turned on by it.

Any opinions on this?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Silence is incredibly powerful.

Engaging in arguments/confrontations is exactly what women want. They want a reaction. If you don't react then it kills her. Women are incredibly attracted to guys who are unphased by her bullsh!t.

If you're in a relationship with a girl and she outright disrespects you, then by all means call her out. But it's much more powerful if you just ghost and her never talk to her again, without any closure for her. She'll be left to figure it out and she'll take it to the grave.

not arguing with women over pointless **** I agree

being passive aggressive in a relationship is feminine behavior and I highly disagree. If you just met this girl and she’s pulling bs by no means drop her lol.

 

[Robert28]

I used to be the calling out type but honestly it got me nowhere. Women can screw you over and still think they’re right in their hamster brains. Case in point, here’s a story for you.

Id been dating this girl for a year, we had plans to go to a concert and I got the tickets($180, not cheap!). She had to go out of state for a funeral for a family member a week before. no biggie. Didn’t think anything about it. She’s supposed to be home the day before the concert anyways, two days after the funeral. I thought it was weird staying for 5 days for a funeral but whatever, she said her family “needed her” even though It was just her aunt she wasn’t all that close to. Day of the concert and she texts me like TWO hours before the concert “hey, still in GA, just leaving”. It’s a 5 hour drive so obviously she isn’t gonna make it and she didn’t bother telling me this until that afternoon. I said “ok guess we aren’t going tonight”. Her response “my family needed me”. I didn’t respond back or blow up or anything. I simply blocked her number and deleted it and that was that. Didn’t even bother to breakup with her or scream about how she screwed me over and stuck me with tickets or anything.

 

[gabvfx]

I used to be the calling out type but honestly it got me nowhere. Women can screw you over and still think they’re right in their hamster brains. Case in point, here’s a story for you.

Id been dating this girl for a year, we had plans to go to a concert and I got the tickets($180, not cheap!). She had to go out of state for a funeral for a family member a week before. no biggie. Didn’t think anything about it. She’s supposed to be home the day before the concert anyways, two days after the funeral. I thought it was weird staying for 5 days for a funeral but whatever, she said her family “needed her” even though It was just her aunt she wasn’t all that close to. Day of the concert and she texts me like TWO hours before the concert “hey, still in GA, just leaving”. It’s a 5 hour drive so obviously she isn’t gonna make it and she didn’t bother telling me this until that afternoon. I said “ok guess we aren’t going tonight”. Her response “my family needed me”. I didn’t respond back or blow up or anything. I simply blocked her number and deleted it and that was that. Didn’t even bother to breakup with her or scream about how she screwed me over and stuck me with tickets or anything.

Damn man, you suspected she was cheating? I understand that you weren't expecting this to happen but it would have been dope if you managed to take another girl out with those tickets.
And I agree they will always thinking they're right, or that they have a valid excuse no matter what you say, and in the end they will make it your fault.

 

[Robert28]

Damn man, you suspected she was cheating? I understand that you weren't expecting this to happen but it would have been dope if you managed to take another girl out with those tickets.
And I agree they will always thinking they're right, or that they have a valid excuse no matter what you say, and in the end they will make it your fault.

The funeral was legit, I saw the obituary and everything. She could have been cheating, but I highly doubt it was with anyone down there where she was. The fact is she called me while she was down there asking if I could exchange the tickets for the next day (it was a 3 day thing) and I said no Ticketmaster won’t do that. She said “ok cool, well I should still be home the day of anyways, I just thought with driving and all that I might be tired”. What really made me mad is not texting me that morning and saying “hey I’m still here and won’t make it” but instead she waits until two fvcking hours before to tell me she’s still not left yet. Didn’t even say I’m sorry or anything! Just said “my family needed me”. I would have been like “hey I’m really sorry but I had to stay another day, I feel so bad you are stuck with those tickets now, I will pay you back and make it up to you I promise!” I would have been way more understanding then.

 

[Robert28]

I'm a big fan of calling out bad behavior. She'll respect you for it. Her attraction will grow.

HB8 I used to casually date always hung up on me when a friend beeped in on the other line. She'd say, "Oh, it's so and so. I'll call you back." Then, she hung up on me.

One day, when she called me back, I said, "You've gotta stop hanging up on me like that."

She said "Okay," like she had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Never did it again.

Women do the passive-aggressive stuff.

She wants a man. She wants someone who'll (metaphorically speaking) smack the sh!t out of her when she acts up.

She WANTS to respect you. Give her a reason to.

Or you just walk away and don’t bother trying to raise a grown woman who doesn’t have manners.

 

[Barrister]

I used to be the calling out type but honestly it got me nowhere. Women can screw you over and still think they’re right in their hamster brains. Case in point, here’s a story for you.

Id been dating this girl for a year, we had plans to go to a concert and I got the tickets($180, not cheap!). She had to go out of state for a funeral for a family member a week before. no biggie. Didn’t think anything about it. She’s supposed to be home the day before the concert anyways, two days after the funeral. I thought it was weird staying for 5 days for a funeral but whatever, she said her family “needed her” even though It was just her aunt she wasn’t all that close to. Day of the concert and she texts me like TWO hours before the concert “hey, still in GA, just leaving”. It’s a 5 hour drive so obviously she isn’t gonna make it and she didn’t bother telling me this until that afternoon. I said “ok guess we aren’t going tonight”. Her response “my family needed me”. I didn’t respond back or blow up or anything. I simply blocked her number and deleted it and that was that. Didn’t even bother to breakup with her or scream about how she screwed me over and stuck me with tickets or anything.

This seems a bit extreme honestly UNLESS it had happened more than once. One thing if you’re in the early dating phase - but you had been together for a year. I think setting a hard boundary about it never happening again would’ve made more sense.

And I’m by no means saying what she did wasn’t bulsh1t. It was. But this was a pretty harsh reaction - again unless it had become habit. Which in that case I agree with it.

 

[Robert28]

This seems a bit extreme honestly UNLESS it had happened more than once. One thing if you’re in the early dating phase - but you had been together for a year. I think setting a hard boundary about it never happening again would’ve made more sense.

And I’m by no means saying what she did wasn’t bulsh1t. It was. But this was a pretty harsh reaction - again unless it had become habit. Which in that case I agree with it.

It was the straw that broke the camels back. It wasn’t like things were going perfect and then bam, that happened. She was always a better communicator and this time she intentionally didn’t communicate with me and it was blatant. Again, the fact that she didn’t apologize or feel some sense of remorse was what caused me to act the way I did. But what she did was basically tell me “oh well, my family needed me and that’s the excuse I’m using. I don’t care that you’re stuck with the tickets, you’ll get over it”.

 

[Robert28]

Respectfully disagree, Robert.

There's a pervasive mindset by some on this forum that you should just walk away if a girl looks at you funny, doesn't lick your b@lls while you're taking a piss, and refuses to say 'Yes, daddy' when you say her name.

Guys are gonna miss out on a lot of really great, interesting, fun women if they continue to have such a hardline, 'I'ma next that h0e' type of attitude.

You have to decide what you’re willing to tolerate and what you aren’t. As you get older you tolerate less. What you’re willing to tolerate, I might not be.

 

[Barrister]

It was the straw that broke the camels back. It wasn’t like things were going perfect and then bam, that happened. She was always a better communicator and this time she intentionally didn’t communicate with me and it was blatant. Again, the fact that she didn’t apologize or feel some sense of remorse was what caused me to act the way I did. But what she did was basically tell me “oh well, my family needed me and that’s the excuse I’m using. I don’t care that you’re stuck with the tickets, you’ll get over it”.

Gotcha. I understand then. I had a lot this type of behavior in my last LTR so I fully understand dealing with it how you did in that case.

 

[spikeanut]

Silence is incredibly powerful.

Engaging in arguments/confrontations is exactly what women want. They want a reaction. If you don't react then it kills her. Women are incredibly attracted to guys who are unphased by her bullsh!t.

If you're in a relationship with a girl and she outright disrespects you, then by all means call her out. But it's much more powerful if you just ghost and her never talk to her again, without any closure for her. She'll be left to figure it out and she'll take it to the grave.

This right here is key. Women love that emotional roller coaster; they live for that dopamine rush. If you allow yourself to engage in worthless quips, you are giving them positive reinforcement for their ****ty behavior which encourages them to do it again and again..seeking that dopamine. However, this does not mean it's better to be passive aggressive, which is extremely feminine. If a woman does something you don't like, call her out on it. But by no means argue; it's your way or the highway. She either complies with these minor character corrections, or she gets the boot. Likewise, there are some infractions that are grave enough to warrant immediate removal. This is what allows your common plate the ability to elevate to main plate, or LTR. How willing they are in complying with these "corrections" and how eager they are in pleasing you. But when you do give the boot due to outright disrespectful behavior, there doesn't need to be a discussion. Silence is all they get.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Calling a woman out on her bull is a waste of time. Say “no” . Just “no”. That’s all you say to her with no explanation. To argue or go up against a woman’s manipulation skills is a fool’s errand. Just stop talking to her until she can address you properly.

More and more I am understanding why the founding fathers treated women like children.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

This seems a bit extreme honestly UNLESS it had happened more than once. One thing if you’re in the early dating phase - but you had been together for a year. I think setting a hard boundary about it never happening again would’ve made more sense.

And I’m by no means saying what she did wasn’t bulsh1t. It was. But this was a pretty harsh reaction - again unless it had become habit. Which in that case I agree with it.

I agree, he overreacted. I would have been upset too, don't get me wrong. But you didn't even give her a chance to make it up to you, or apologize. Just instantly deleted the numbers? That's being in your feelings a little too much.

 

[Robert28]

I agree, he overreacted. I would have been upset too, don't get me wrong. But you didn't even give her a chance to make it up to you, or apologize. Just instantly deleted the numbers? That's being in your feelings a little too much.

Nah she was never going to apologize or admit her wrong, I know this girl and how she is/was. This wasn’t a first time thing either, this was just the final nail in the coffin for me. If I flipped it around and did the same to her she would have lost her sh!t on me and no amount of apologizing on my part would have made it right in her mind.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Well like you said, you knew her.

I'm curious, did she ever try to reach out to you through social media or something?

 

[Dash Riprock]

You have to decide what you’re willing to tolerate and what you aren’t. As you get older you tolerate less. What you’re willing to tolerate, I might not be.

You handled this like a boss. Well done. The biggest issue is she didn't have the decency or common sense or she just DGAF whether she went with you or not, or she would have communicated with you much earlier about finding a substitute for her and would have apologized like an adult. She’s probably been well-groomed and trained to employ bad behavior all over the place and never get called out on it. Really nice job on how you handled it.

Something very similar happened to me a few years ago. I'm a big MLB baseball fan and my favorite team comes to town. I usually see them once a year when they’re here. I go large too, I always go on StubHub and get front row club level, maybe $300 for 2 tickets. So I get the tickets and have them for a while. Dated this HB8-9 a few times. Ask her to go to the game on maybe our 3-4th date, can't recall. She gladly accepts. Day of I get a text that morning that she's in Colorado Springs, about 90 minutes south, and "delayed a bit." Then she texts me saying she's leaving now, but not driving (someone else is). Looking back, I think she had a boyfriend down there and I was the branch she was swinging to—until it broke—read on... I do the math in my head and she'll get to our meeting spot downtown right at game time. I'm like, "**** this." I text her back and tell her I'm taking someone else and I'll catch up with her later (never did). Her response was "wait, what?!" I laughed and called a buddy of mine and we went. Had a great time even though my team got crushed.

I'm also in the camp that you ALWAYS overtly call out bad behavior and disrespect. But, keep your emotions intact. A very firm warning and stern look is all you need. But to say nothing is really wussy in my book. Stick up and stand up for yourself or you'll be a doormat with women and everyone else in life. Search SS for my dog park story for another example of calling out bad behavior and letting her walk.

Good luck, men.

~DRR

 

[Robert28]

Well like you said, you knew her.

I'm curious, did she ever try to reach out to you through social media or something?

I don’t have social media. This girl lived in her own little world. She was always right and everyone else was in the wrong, nothing was ever her fault. The way she talked about people behind their back became tiresome. She just didn’t care who she screwed over but if you screwed HER over and didn’t do right by her then all hell broke loose.

 

[Robert28]

You handled this like a boss. Well done. The biggest issue is she didn't have the decency or common sense or she just DGAF whether she went with you or not, or she would have communicated with you much earlier about finding a substitute for her and would have apologized like an adult. She’s probably been well-groomed and trained to employ bad behavior all over the place and never get called out on it. Really nice job on how you handled it.

Something very similar happened to me a few years ago. I'm a big MLB baseball fan and my favorite team comes to town. I usually see them once a year when they’re here. I go large too, I always go on StubHub and get front row club level, maybe $300 for 2 tickets. So I get the tickets and have them for a while. Dated this HB8-9 a few times. Ask her to go to the game on maybe our 3-4th date, can't recall. She gladly accepts. Day of I get a text that morning that she's in Colorado Springs, about 90 minutes south, and "delayed a bit." Then she texts me saying she's leaving now, but not driving (someone else is). Looking back, I think she had a boyfriend down there and I was the branch she was swinging to—until it broke—read on... I do the math in my head and she'll get to our meeting spot downtown right at game time. I'm like, "**** this." I text her back and tell her I'm taking someone else and I'll catch up with her later (never did). Her response was "wait, what?!" I laughed and called a buddy of mine and we went. Had a great time even though my team got crushed.

I'm also in the camp that you ALWAYS overtly call out bad behavior and disrespect. But, keep your emotions intact. A very firm warning and stern look is all you need. But to say nothing is really wussy in my book. Stick up and stand up for yourself or you'll be a doormat with women and everyone else in life. Search SS for my dog park story for another example of calling out bad behavior and letting her walk.

Good luck, men.

~DRR

Yeah man I honestly just didn’t want to have an argument over text. Those never end well and anything j could have said wouldn’t change the situation. I could have said “thanks for telling me last minute and sticking me with these tickets you asked me to by weeks ago. Wish you would have informed me yesterday you were staying an extra day and I could have made other arrangements.” But that would have done no good. She would have made me out to be the bad guy, which is what she was trying to do with her response of “my family needed me” response. Bs her family didn’t need her, she badmouthed those same family members to me many times and now they all of a sudden need HER? Bull. The thing is she just didn’t care, my feelings or anything never factored into this in her mind. Some things are best left unsaid and I didn’t want to salvage a relationship with someone who thought so little of my time or wasting my money anyways.

 

[jimwho]

had plans to go to a concert and I got the tickets($180, not cheap!).

Was it "Hootie & the blowfish". Or "green day". It may have had something to do with it? (humor)

 

[Robert28]

Was it "Hootie & the blowfish". Or "green day". It may have had something to do with it? (humor)

Haha no neither of those. Actually it was for a concert SHE suggested going to.