What's your story?

[deadmasterx]

I just saw Hank Moody's post about his story, how he got "purplepilled" and thought it would be good to open a thread for the gentlemen to share here the main events that made them realize that they needed a change.

My story starts in 2019. I got myself a girlfriend and we were doing pretty well, things were going great. Before her, I had other 2 girlfriends that I didn't really like that much (didn't love, to be honest), and it reached of a point that betraying my own feelings was making me feel bad (for me there's no relationship with no love, and at the time I was too weak to say "no" to a girl approaching me). I was the one who broke up with both these first two girlfriends, and that's an important thing to mention.

2019 was my first year in the Army. I was lucky enough that my city has the Special Operations Command Army Base, which means that I would be around the strongest, most successful and prepared militarymen of my country. I tried the test to become a Commando, but thanks to my inability in swimming I couldn't do it. No problem. I was assigned to the 1st Guards Company, thanks to my height (1.88cm/6'2) and weight (100kg/220) I was trained as a Shieldman for the Shock Troop platoon (yes, wearing a full armor kit and holding a heavy shield). Most of my day was about training with the rest of the platoon and doing normal military stuff, so I had almost no time to be with her (but would give her quality time).

In the end of the year, I couldn't be transfered to the Airborne Company, so I decided to quit. My schedule was getting free as more recruits were coming in, and I found myself with lots of time to spend with her. She didn't. It's not her fault, don't take me badly, but it made me start acting like a needy ***** towards a girl that I really did like and had a great connection with. She was busy studying for her university exams, aiming the best she could get, who could blame her? Soon my neediness turned the little time we had together in no time, she started avoiding me and eventually "we" broke up (by "we", I mean me saying that I don't want to give it some time, then breaking up with her, getting needy and coming back to say "we can't let that happen" at least 3 times right after that). Yes, the peak of neediness and insecurity. I killed everything I had or possibly could get back with that move.

In the next months, I'd see myself unemployed, in the start of COVID ****, unable to get myself a job and feeling like ****. I got fat, not too fat, but really fat. People who were fat at some point of their lives know that it makes everything worse. It kills your self esteem the same way it kill your willpower to change for better. Gladly, I still was determined to do something, so I decided to join my local gym, and I remember that my strongest (but not favourite) pre-workout was imagining that a normal guy could be ****ing her at that very moment. With this mindset, I went from 90kg (about 200 pounds) on my deadlift to 180kg (about 400 pounds) in a interval of 2 months working like a angry mother****er. All I had in my mind was anger. All I did was because I was angry and wanted to direct that feeling to something, but in the background I'd be always thinking like "She'll see, I'm gonna be ****ing successful, she'll regret dumping me".

It was at this time that I started buying books. I wanted to know what the hell did I do wrong. I would spend some good time watching Coach Corey Wayne's videos on YouTube, also Dan Bacon videos too. I would buy books, like The Rational Male, the 3% Man, The Way of the Superior Man, No More Mr. Nice Guy, Mode One, so on...

In the end, I finally got conscious that I didn't want her back. My life was good, my anger slowly started disappearing. I found myself getting focused on doing things for me instead of doing them for revenge. I met new people, got together and strenghtened the relationships I had with my friends and family. I started working again as teacher while studying Philosophy in University and also studying for the military tests... my life is good.

I won't say I learned everything I need to know, but I'm trying to. I still find myself being needy some times (thanks to the way I was raised), I still find myself sometimes acting like a girl, changing my moods and seeking validation... it happens to all of us, but it's better when you're aware of your mistakes and willing to fix them. I'm on my way, and I'm doing my very best to be the best version of myself.

I know my story isn't as tragic as most of the guys here, who got cheated on in their marriages or LTR, who suffered way worse **** than I did, but in the end all these things brought us to this very same place here. So now, I want to know...

What's your story?

 

[Machine10033]

My story.... 1997-2002 I was with my highschool sweet heart. Gave up all friends... was happy going to a community college so we could be together. She went off to a university 2 hours away. She ends up doing the “ we are missing out and need to experience other people”. Turns out she was already seeing other people. Her roommate finds me on AIM and messages me that I deserve better and my girlfriend was had a boyfriend at college.

I was devastated... I had no friends... no social support... nothing. I ended up developing double pneumonia and collapsed on my way to class spent 3 weeks in the hospital. Only my parents, brother and family visited.

I realized at that point that your alone in this world. The only people that unequivocally care about you are your parents and family. I found this site... I ate this stuff... i wasn’t about pick up but self improvement.

When I recovered I went on to get myself in insane shape.. focused on my studies... end started setting goals and living with a purpose.

 

[deadmasterx]

She ends up doing the “ we are missing out and need to experience other people”. Turns out she was already seeing other people. Her roommate finds me on AIM and messages me that I deserve better and my girlfriend was had a boyfriend at college.

That's really ****ed up, man. I wouldn't consider myself as mysiginist or anything like that, but if there's one thing that absolutely disgusts me about women (not all of them, but most) is this "replacement" thing. Getting another guy ready to get in game while she's still in a relationship. That's ****ed up, that's an awful thing to do, it's one of the ultimate proofs of a bad character for me.

I was devastated... I had no friends... no social support... nothing. I ended up developing double pneumonia and collapsed on my way to class spent 3 weeks in the hospital. Only my parents, brother and family visited.

Situations like that are good to make you realize who really cares about you. In the end, the only real deep connection that we have and "can't get rid of" is our family. Treasuring and honouring your family is a must for every man, no matter what age. And even if your family turns out to be "not good enough", you do your part by being the best you can be.

When I recovered I went on to get myself in insane shape.. focused on my studies... end started setting goals and living with a purpose.

A real success story. I'm ****ing glad that you could overcome all of this. Thanks for sharing your story, mate.

 

[Romanemp22]

My story starts in 2016. I'm probably one of the youngest DJs around since I'm turning 23 in June but I've come through a lot of things with women. As I mentioned, in 2016 I had my one and till this day only oneitis. It was more of a obsession than love and it was not healthy for me.

That relationship as you expected didn't last long but it had huge impact on me. That was the time I first scrolled around internet when I stumbled upon terms oneitis, blue pill etc. It was really a knock in the ballz as I never even thought that relationships works that way. But those newly learned things wasn't implemented right away as I was mind fvcked for a more than a year and a half, that was the time it took me to fully get over her.

After that from every experience I learned something new and realized every mistake I made, writing it down in my head and not to repeat it again.
Then in the end of 2018 I had one bucky ride with my than girlfriend. She was mentally crazy and that experience made me more aware of bpd women and their traits and behavior. After that relationship I started hitting gym harder then ever, I was skinny throughout my whole life when in summer of 2019 I stared getting really buffed. Now I'm looking better than ever, weighing 105kg on 6"3 height. Also since last year I really started slaying, getting a lot of dates and pulling girls in bed more that ever. I guess my sudden upgrade in looks and better mentality made it more easier to me to get women. I believe if I stayed skinny I wouldn't be getting women as much as I get them today. As I'm writing this I just got back from a walk with one blonde I talked to before and tonight I have a date with my plate but the thing is I don't consider it a big deal as I may have in my blue pill days, now it's just a way of life meeting and sleeping with different girls.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I was a late bloomer. Didn't have sex until I was 21. But around that age I started getting unpredecented levels of female attention, especially during and after my first serious relationship. This was back in late 2013.

I soon discovered PUA/cold approach (mostly from RSD), and started approaching women like mad. I had a lot of painful experiences, including ****ing up what was a great opportunity with an old high school crush. I didn't really know what I was doing, as cold approach/PUA techniques don't teach you any fundamentals about female nature.

I discovered the red pill sometime around 2015 but it didn't quite grip me and by 2017 I had become more "purple pilled". After some more painful experiences in 2017 it finally cemented in my head and now I think it's going to stick with me for life because of the experiences I've had.

Rollo Tomassi and Patrice O'Neal have been the main sources of influence for me for the past few years, as well as RvF before it turned into bible thumping right wing conspiracy theory nonsense.

 

[deadmasterx]

As I mentioned, in 2016 I had my one and till this day only oneitis. It was more of a obsession than love and it was not healthy for me.

We have all been in there.

In my experience and observation, I think that the main problem that causes this is over-investing on someone, and since you're investing, you expect a certain return. Don't get me wrong, of course when you're in a relationship you'll be expecting certain things from your partner, but it becomes a huge problem when you're getting down because she didn't say "I love you" when you were leaving, or when you're excited about something and she doesn't seem to be caring or that excited about it. Men with oneitis are going to be like "Wait, what the hell. I'm here all excited and she can't be happy for me? I'm here telling how much I love her and she can't even put the same effort on saying these nice things to me too?". In other words, you're doing something expecting a emotional response, you're doing it not exactly because you want to, but because you want to her something from her (I'll tell her I love her, so she will say that to me too).

Relationships, in one way or another, are also about routine. If you promise doing something, you'll do it. If you promised not going out without saying "I love you" and giving a kiss, you do it. No matter what's the situation. I found out that most times you "block" yourself or get away from your responsibilities because you aren't getting the emotional response that you want (and tried to manipulate your partner to act this way), so it makes you feel miserable.

I don't know how you guys deal with that, but my way is "I'll be doing what I want because I want, she can either take it or no, I don't care". If I say "I love you" I won't be here sitting and waiting for her to say she loves me back. If I want to give her a kiss, I will. If I don't want to be together at the moment, I won't. If we're going to be together, I'll give my best and 100%. Mediocrity fits no one. She needs to know that no matter what she do or feel like, you won't get out of your way to change your behaviour.

Always keep in mind that the only thing you can control are your actions and your reactions. If you're thinking too much about what's gonna be someone else's response to what you do, you'll put yourself in a position of neediness, you'll be diminishing yourself to please someone else. The bottom line is to be always true to yourself. Don't fake it. It's better to be wrong by being yourself than to be wrong by being what someone else want you to be. It's always time to take the driver seat of your own life.

 

[Romanemp22]

We have all been in there.

In my experience and observation, I think that the main problem that causes this is over-investing on someone, and since you're investing, you expect a certain return. Don't get me wrong, of course when you're in a relationship you'll be expecting certain things from your partner, but it becomes a huge problem when you're getting down because she didn't say "I love you" when you were leaving, or when you're excited about something and she doesn't seem to be caring or that excited about it. Men with oneitis are going to be like "Wait, what the hell. I'm here all excited and she can't be happy for me? I'm here telling how much I love her and she can't even put the same effort on saying these nice things to me too?". In other words, you're doing something expecting a emotional response, you're doing it not exactly because you want to, but because you want to her something from her (I'll tell her I love her, so she will say that to me too).

Relationships, in one way or another, are also about routine. If you promise doing something, you'll do it. If you promised not going out without saying "I love you" and giving a kiss, you do it. No matter what's the situation. I found out that most times you "block" yourself or get away from your responsibilities because you aren't getting the emotional response that you want (and tried to manipulate your partner to act this way), so it makes you feel miserable.

I don't know how you guys deal with that, but my way is "I'll be doing what I want because I want, she can either take it or no, I don't care". If I say "I love you" I won't be here sitting and waiting for her to say she loves me back. If I want to give her a kiss, I will. If I don't want to be together at the moment, I won't. If we're going to be together, I'll give my best and 100%. Mediocrity fits no one. She needs to know that no matter what she do or feel like, you won't get out of your way to change your behaviour.

Always keep in mind that the only thing you can control are your actions and your reactions. If you're thinking too much about what's gonna be someone else's response to what you do, you'll put yourself in a position of neediness, you'll be diminishing yourself to please someone else. The bottom line is to be always true to yourself. Don't fake it. It's better to be wrong by being yourself than to be wrong by being what someone else want you to be. It's always time to take the driver seat of your own life.

I get what your saying and it's a great observation but I was 17 at the time and ofcourse I didn't know much about dynamics of relationship. It hurted so bad when it ended but I'm glad it did because it was one of the crucial things that made me what I am today.

But now I don't say it's a problem but state of mind of a 22 y old. I just can't be with one girl. Back in 2016 I thought that girl is the only one for me and I was fine do be just with her. Now I'm not amazed off seeing only one girl, and mostly I don't care what girl is saying I just want to sleep with her. I swear I'm not being a d1ck or arrogant or anything it's just the way my brain works currently. I believe it has to be because of the age because I'm still very young so you older guys probably went through that as well.

 

[Ricky]

Ricky Part 1
I always like these stories, so i will type mine as well in multiple parts. I was around here back in 2002 (and possibly earlier, i think i had an account under a similar name but lost the password to it).

My high school years were pretty introverted but i did play guitar in bands. The band angle got me some interest from women, but i had no idea how to proceed. So i technically may have went on dates, but was pretty quickly friend zoned. I didn't know how to go for a kiss even. There was one even rather easy woman who definitely seemed interested.. i guess i was shy and a even little scared at the time so didn't go for it with her.

College started the same way, but i was getting more comfortable talking to women. There was one point where more women had asked me out then i had asked out. I think it was because i was good at conversational comfort. But i had no idea once again how to make any type of move on them. That combined with how demanding undergrad was made it a real challenge for me.

At the end of undergrad I became aware of Ross Jeffries through an ad on a site. I think i may have even gotten a short book of his for free. I definitely got some of his material when file sharing items became available. I learned about the seduction angle of things and this was actually pretty helpful. But i couldn't see myself using his material directly. A few times i would adapt some topics like talking about how relaxing the beach was, or a hot shower and i could tell i'd get a response, but i certainly didn't have the guts to use this stuff in real life.

In terms of my conversational style i got better and better at comfort with women. I started lifting weights in college after seeing that i was as skinny as a girl i was standing next to in a spring break photo. This was about 1994 i believe and i was embarassed and how skinny i was. Lifting weights helped alot to create a physique that women liked and generally make me feel better. Overall my looks were average but i was in above average shape. I just needed to figure out how to close things. (To be continued)

 

[ThisIsSparta]

My story


I took the redpill 2018, when i found myself in ****ty marriage and didn’t know what hit me and how i got into this.

I was raised by Hollywood, believing the white knight always gets the girl if he just tries hard enough, puts in the effort. My father didn’t teach me anything of use and so i ended up as bluepilled nice-guy.
Of course, the first 4 chicks i ended up fvcking, fed my tender heart to the meat grinder.

It was 2003 when i maintained a ****ty LTR, with a low-sexdrive girlfriend that could only be bothered to fvck me 2 times a month. It was that year when i told myself “fvck that biatch, i am gonna cheat on her” and started my own “sexual revolution”. I got into OLD, became quite succsessful there and ended that LTR in 2004.

Without being redpilled i became a good plate-spinner and mastered OLD back in a time when you still had profiles with 50 questions about yourself and actually sent each other emails with real content instead of swiping and sending single-liners.

I was in the game for about 10 years with a few short LTRs spiced up with side-plates but mostly pumps&dumps with 1-5 dates each. It was then, in 2014 when my fall began.

Though i was having women on demand, i started to feel lonely, dulled and got bored quickly with them. My best friend back then, a beta bluepilled family guy, talked me into taking the chicks at a slower rate, re-develop my dulled emotions and feelings for women again. At that point i thought to myself, i am 35, i want a family at some point, time to get serious, “time to man up!” right? Of course family has also whispered in my ears on “how to get a woman for marriage”.
At that time, though having a relative high notch count, i was still bluepilled and all open for these unholy suggestions.

I kept meeting new women but stopped fvcking them unless i saw potential for a LTR in them. This , over about 6 months, in turn put me into the fatal scarcity mindset, up until almost any woman seemed like LTR-material to my deamon-haunted-brain.

At that point i met my later wife and the tragedy unfolded.

2 years later i was married and my son was born. 3 months after that all hell broke loose and in mid 2017 my life turned into hell. My wife started to bully and gaslight me like i would never believed her capable of. She used everything against me she could get a hold on.

With the ring and kid-combo, she thought herself in a position of ultimate power.

Not knowing what just hit me, i tried to appease her and “do things right”. But you already know it, it was never enough and the more tried, the more she bullied me and even went at my family.

I took the shiat until new years-day 2018, recognized i was getting nowhere. I promised to myself that i wouldn’t take it for another year and started ignoring her as good as possible, which made her even more aggressive.


At that point i was looking for divorce advise and mental coaching on youtube. Somehow I got to videos of Richard Cooper (entrepreneurs in cars) and Coach Redpill. And after a few weeks of studying their stuff, i started to grasp the first glimps on the magnitude of the error of my ways.

It was mid 2018 when i had fortified my position enough (financial, legal, redpill-wisdom) to start taking the fight to the enemy. I argued with her for hours and didn’t give ground anymore. From now on she became desperate, tried to bring my parents on board against me, threatened to move out and take the kid with her, wanting me to sign papers that would allow her to change the 2nd-name of my son, try to force me into compliance with demands of money etc.etc.
I knew she was planning and preparing to eject in every possible way.

New years day 2019, she threatened to move out for the 6th time, i told her to do what she thinks is right for her. She was gone mid January, taking my son with her, moved back in her parents house (15 minutes from my place). It was okay for me, i just wanted her gone at that point anyway. Still i was sad because my 2 year old son was gone too.

The following 2 weeks i visited my son at her parents house. She acted aloof, still trying to boss me around. In these 2 weeks i made it clear to her that the game is over, her last trump was played, that i would never again take her shiat and that she can file for divorce.

In the 3rd week she started begging me to take her back in. As far as i know there was no other man involved.

If it wasn’t for my boy, i would never have taken her back in my home.
If another man was involved, i would never have taken her back in my home.

To her credit, she really made an effort to be a good wife and at the moment, seeing my boy every day outweighs the other stuff, AT THE MOMENT.

2 years have passed since then and in these years my wife behaved acceptable for the most part.

BUT, lets be real!
You are not going to wash the stripes of a tiger away. A few times in these years her former attitude pushed through in moments when she thought she was in a position of power again. I know she is just suppressing her inner bully instead of having real insight in her shortcomings.

Its like taming a wild animal. She will not change for real, she is just willing to behave as long as i show strength and put her in her place from time to time when necessary (and fvck her 3-4 times a week of course).
I make sure my wife knows i have (female) options if she dares to act up again.
I make sure my wife knows she doesnt have ANY leverage on me.

How long am i willing to live like that? I don’t know.
For now i enjoy being with my son. But he gets older, he will be 6 in 2 years, he is smart, i guess he could take it in a few years.
I am still in good shape, i could start right over at any day and do feel not to old for my comeback as Don Juan.

 

[deadmasterx]

My high school years were pretty introverted but i did play guitar in bands. The band angle got me some interest from women, but i had no idea how to proceed. So i technically may have went on dates, but was pretty quickly friend zoned. I didn't know how to go for a kiss even. There was one even rather easy woman who definitely seemed interested.. i guess i was shy and a even little scared at the time so didn't go for it with her.

I can relate with that. Most part of my life I have always been going with the flow. Never asked a girl out, always let them do the move. Actually, it has kinda been like that even now. At that time, tho, it was a mix of "I'm scared of approaching and getting rejected" and "They're coming to me, so I shouldn't worry". Of course, the girls that were coming to me were the fatties, not so desirable ones, and the really hot ones that did, guess what, I would mess up my chances with them (because I thought it couldn't be true, I wasn't worth it).

 

[deadmasterx]

My story


I took the redpill 2018, when i found myself in ****ty marriage and didn’t know what hit me and how i got into this.

I was raised by Hollywood, believing the white knight always gets the girl if he just tries hard enough, puts in the effort. My father didn’t teach me anything of use and so i ended up as bluepilled nice-guy.
Of course, the first 4 chicks i ended up fvcking, fed my tender heart to the meat grinder.

It was 2003 when i maintained a ****ty LTR, with a low-sexdrive girlfriend that could only be bothered to fvck me 2 times a month. It was that year when i told myself “fvck that biatch, i am gonna cheat on her” and started my own “sexual revolution”. I got into OLD, became quite succsessful there and ended that LTR in 2004.

Without being redpilled i became a good plate-spinner and mastered OLD back in a time when you still had profiles with 50 questions about yourself and actually sent each other emails with real content instead of swiping and sending single-liners.

I was in the game for about 10 years with a few short LTRs spiced up with side-plates but mostly pumps&dumps with 1-5 dates each. It was then, in 2014 when my fall began.

Though i was having women on demand, i started to feel lonely, dulled and got bored quickly with them. My best friend back then, a beta bluepilled family guy, talked me into taking the chicks at a slower rate, re-develop my dulled emotions and feelings for women again. At that point i thought to myself, i am 35, i want a family at some point, time to get serious, “time to man up!” right? Of course family has also whispered in my ears on “how to get a woman for marriage”.
At that time, though having a relative high notch count, i was still bluepilled and all open for these unholy suggestions.

I kept meeting new women but stopped fvcking them unless i saw potential for a LTR in them. This , over about 6 months, in turn put me into the fatal scarcity mindset, up until almost any woman seemed like LTR-material to my deamon-haunted-brain.

At that point i met my later wife and the tragedy unfolded.

2 years later i was married and my son was born. 3 months after that all hell broke loose and in mid 2017 my life turned into hell. My wife started to bully and gaslight me like i would never believed her capable of. She used everything against me she could get a hold on.

With the ring and kid-combo, she thought herself in a position of ultimate power.

Not knowing what just hit me, i tried to appease her and “do things right”. But you already know it, it was never enough and the more tried, the more she bullied me and even went at my family.

I took the shiat until new years-day 2018, recognized i was getting nowhere. I promised to myself that i wouldn’t take it for another year and started ignoring her as good as possible, which made her even more aggressive.


At that point i was looking for divorce advise and mental coaching on youtube. Somehow I got to videos of Richard Cooper (entrepreneurs in cars) and Coach Redpill. And after a few weeks of studying their stuff, i started to grasp the first glimps on the magnitude of the error of my ways.

It was mid 2018 when i had fortified my position enough (financial, legal, redpill-wisdom) to start taking the fight to the enemy. I argued with her for hours and didn’t give ground anymore. From now on she became desperate, tried to bring my parents on board against me, threatened to move out and take the kid with her, wanting me to sign papers that would allow her to change the 2nd-name of my son, try to force me into compliance with demands of money etc.etc.
I knew she was planning and preparing to eject in every possible way.

New years day 2019, she threatened to move out for the 6th time, i told her to do what she thinks is right for her. She was gone mid January, taking my son with her, moved back in her parents house (15 minutes from my place). It was okay for me, i just wanted her gone at that point anyway. Still i was sad because my 2 year old son was gone too.

The following 2 weeks i visited my son at her parents house. She acted aloof, still trying to boss me around. In these 2 weeks i made it clear to her that the game is over, her last trump was played, that i would never again take her shiat and that she can file for divorce.

In the 3rd week she started begging me to take her back in. As far as i know there was no other man involved.

If it wasn’t for my boy, i would never have taken her back in my home.
If another man was involved, i would never have taken her back in my home.

To her credit, she really made an effort to be a good wife and at the moment, seeing my boy every day outweighs the other stuff, AT THE MOMENT.

2 years have passed since then and in these years my wife behaved acceptable for the most part.

BUT, lets be real!
You are not going to wash the stripes of a tiger away. A few times in these years her former attitude pushed through in moments when she thought she was in a position of power again. I know she is just suppressing her inner bully instead of having real insight in her shortcomings.

Its like taming a wild animal. She will not change for real, she is just willing to behave as long as i show strength and put her in her place from time to time when necessary (and fvck her 3-4 times a week of course).
I make sure my wife knows i have (female) options if she dares to act up again.
I make sure my wife knows she doesnt have ANY leverage on me.

How long am i willing to live like that? I don’t know.
For now i enjoy being with my son. But he gets older, he will be 6 in 2 years, he is smart, i guess he could take it in a few years.
I am still in good shape, i could start right over at any day and do feel not to old for my comeback as Don Juan.

Your situation is a pretty interesting one, man. I'm glad you had the guts to stand up for yourself. Your situation in particular is a different one, because it involves children. Wanting or not, for a good man, his kids will always be his weak spot. As a single mother kid, I know how well women can use their own children to attack men, I was part of it myself.

But how does it feel? Are you happy with her? I have this feeling that no matter what you're doing, somehow you always have to sleep with one eye open to make sure you're not losing control. Something that I have been trying to do is not caring too much about that, let it go. Are you gonna play the bitchy? I won't be around. Are you gonna treat me as if I'm not worth your time? See ya. It honestly never happened with me and my girlfriend, we never attacked each other as respect is a fundamental aspect of our relationship (and I already left it explicit that if I get disrespected, I won't stay). I know you got your little kid with you, hope you're teaching them the things that he needs to know. Most of our parents did not, and that's the main reason why we are here to begin with.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Your situation is a pretty interesting one, man. I'm glad you had the guts to stand up for yourself. Your situation in particular is a different one, because it involves children. Wanting or not, for a good man, his kids will always be his weak spot. As a single mother kid, I know how well women can use their own children to attack men, I was part of it myself.

But how does it feel? Are you happy with her? I have this feeling that no matter what you're doing, somehow you always have to sleep with one eye open to make sure you're not losing control. Something that I have been trying to do is not caring too much about that, let it go. Are you gonna play the bitchy? I won't be around. Are you gonna treat me as if I'm not worth your time? See ya. It honestly never happened with me and my girlfriend, we never attacked each other as respect is a fundamental aspect of our relationship (and I already left it explicit that if I get disrespected, I won't stay). I know you got your little kid with you, hope you're teaching them the things that he needs to know. Most of our parents did not, and that's the main reason why we are here to begin with.

I am not happy with her, i am happy with my kid. I dont trust her anymore and she is still paying for what she did.

Women change once there is the ring and the kid. A lot of them feel empowered due to the legal system giving them all rights and they think they can boss you around and you cant do **** about it. You have to get into a legal and financial position where you can walk away at any time. That takes them their leverage on you.

Everything is easy when you are around 20 and the girls dont hear their clock ticking. Once they get close to 30 anf feel the need for a baby, they become a different person.

Beware of that age and never get married.

 

[Baibars]

My story is long af but it started at 19 when i was dating a chick i met online. She was from a broken household, lovebombed me and i was very receptive to that at that time.
I banged her up to 5 times a day and i didn't wear condoms ( yeah i know that it was the dumbest decision in my life, i was blue pill and beta af ) so she got pregnant.
I wifed her up, we lived together and then she dumped me after a year or so. Took our kid with her and just disappeared. Found out later that she monkey branched but she didn't tell me this at that time. I begged and chased and did all kinds of beta bs. She moved to another city and we had sex during that time when we were meeting. She told me that i had a chance if i'd move near her so i did.
Did she take me back? No. She used me as an orbiter and we had sex a few times but she cucked me hard. Fcked a bunch of dudes while i was living 100s of miles away from my family and she was the only person i knew there.
However we got together a second time and she moved in with me. Guess what i did? I impregnated her again! Now i had a daughter and a son. She dumped me during the pregnancy.
I was devastated and broken af. I didn't know where to go and i even thought about suicide. I decided to move back to my family. This was 2018 and then i found this community and all the Red Pill stuff. I realised that i had to focus on myself and that i couldn't salvage the relationship wither. I realised that it was a waste of time and that i just fcked up myself.
And then she decided to move back where i am now. She lives with our kids 2 miles away from my place now. I don't want her and i will never take her back.
Before she moved back, she even offered me to give us a chance for the sake of the kids even though i knew she had a fwb thing with another guy. She even told me that he doesn't want to commit and that it will end soon. That's when it'd be my turn
I was already red pilled at that time and told her to **** off. Went to a lawyer because of the kids and i'm still in the court process.

It's a long story but these where the more important parts. You may think i'm the biggest idiot that ever existed and you may be right but i was still able to cut this bs out of my life. That alone was an accomplishment for me.
I found a cool job in IT, bought myself a car, got a gym membership and i just want to be the best version of myself. I checked up her IG a few weeks ago and she already has another guy. I experienced it all first hand. Saw the monkey branching, the carousel riding, alpha fcks beta bucks etc. When i found the red pill i had no other chance than taking it.

 

[deadmasterx]

Before she moved back, she even offered me to give us a chance for the sake of the kids even though i knew she had a fwb thing with another guy. She even told me that he doesn't want to commit and that it will end soon. That's when it'd be my turn
I was already red pilled at that time and told her to **** off. Went to a lawyer because of the kids and i'm still in the court process.

Ha, it's funny how she sounds like "So, I'm gonna give you one more chance to get back with me". Bold of her.
About the kids, I really hope everything goes alright. No boy or girl deserves to be raised with a unstable mom like that.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Was fairly GL and super fit when younger. Got married in early 2000’s. Super blue-pilled beta chump. Let myself go physically. My wife kept bitching about it (she kept her looks). She stopped having sex with me. She said she found me repulsive. I finally divorced her in ‘18. I realized it was going to be a severe uphill grind to get a woman again. I got back in shape and lost body fat (lucky for me I have good facial features underneath all that face bloat). By the time my divorce was official (6 months), I had recovered enough that I got my first official real date as a single man one week after the divorce. With a cute nurse decades younger than me. I dated around and drank WAY too much. I live in a city with a good nightlife so I went pretty crazy. I tried out Tinder in ‘19, more as a lark. Not really knowing anything about it. I threw a couple of iPhone selfies and a basic blah bio. Turned out to be amazing. Really revolutionary. Got two great GF’s out of it. Lived the wild man life until Covid ended it

Currently dating a girl I met IRL and am a more boring guy now. But I probably won’t wake up hungover and naked in some needle-strewn alley.

No longer blue pilled. More red/black pilled. I realize the key to success (or at least not failure) is have options, and being willing to walk away.

 

[Ricky]

My story


I took the redpill 2018, when i found myself in ****ty marriage and didn’t know what hit me and how i got into this.

I was raised by Hollywood, believing the white knight always gets the girl if he just tries hard enough, puts in the effort. My father didn’t teach me anything of use and so i ended up as bluepilled nice-guy.
Of course, the first 4 chicks i ended up fvcking, fed my tender heart to the meat grinder.

It was 2003 when i maintained a ****ty LTR, with a low-sexdrive girlfriend that could only be bothered to fvck me 2 times a month. It was that year when i told myself “fvck that biatch, i am gonna cheat on her” and started my own “sexual revolution”. I got into OLD, became quite succsessful there and ended that LTR in 2004.

Without being redpilled i became a good plate-spinner and mastered OLD back in a time when you still had profiles with 50 questions about yourself and actually sent each other emails with real content instead of swiping and sending single-liners.

I was in the game for about 10 years with a few short LTRs spiced up with side-plates but mostly pumps&dumps with 1-5 dates each. It was then, in 2014 when my fall began.

Though i was having women on demand, i started to feel lonely, dulled and got bored quickly with them. My best friend back then, a beta bluepilled family guy, talked me into taking the chicks at a slower rate, re-develop my dulled emotions and feelings for women again. At that point i thought to myself, i am 35, i want a family at some point, time to get serious, “time to man up!” right? Of course family has also whispered in my ears on “how to get a woman for marriage”.
At that time, though having a relative high notch count, i was still bluepilled and all open for these unholy suggestions.

I kept meeting new women but stopped fvcking them unless i saw potential for a LTR in them. This , over about 6 months, in turn put me into the fatal scarcity mindset, up until almost any woman seemed like LTR-material to my deamon-haunted-brain.

At that point i met my later wife and the tragedy unfolded.

2 years later i was married and my son was born. 3 months after that all hell broke loose and in mid 2017 my life turned into hell. My wife started to bully and gaslight me like i would never believed her capable of. She used everything against me she could get a hold on.

With the ring and kid-combo, she thought herself in a position of ultimate power.

Not knowing what just hit me, i tried to appease her and “do things right”. But you already know it, it was never enough and the more tried, the more she bullied me and even went at my family.

I took the shiat until new years-day 2018, recognized i was getting nowhere. I promised to myself that i wouldn’t take it for another year and started ignoring her as good as possible, which made her even more aggressive.


At that point i was looking for divorce advise and mental coaching on youtube. Somehow I got to videos of Richard Cooper (entrepreneurs in cars) and Coach Redpill. And after a few weeks of studying their stuff, i started to grasp the first glimps on the magnitude of the error of my ways.

It was mid 2018 when i had fortified my position enough (financial, legal, redpill-wisdom) to start taking the fight to the enemy. I argued with her for hours and didn’t give ground anymore. From now on she became desperate, tried to bring my parents on board against me, threatened to move out and take the kid with her, wanting me to sign papers that would allow her to change the 2nd-name of my son, try to force me into compliance with demands of money etc.etc.
I knew she was planning and preparing to eject in every possible way.

New years day 2019, she threatened to move out for the 6th time, i told her to do what she thinks is right for her. She was gone mid January, taking my son with her, moved back in her parents house (15 minutes from my place). It was okay for me, i just wanted her gone at that point anyway. Still i was sad because my 2 year old son was gone too.

The following 2 weeks i visited my son at her parents house. She acted aloof, still trying to boss me around. In these 2 weeks i made it clear to her that the game is over, her last trump was played, that i would never again take her shiat and that she can file for divorce.

In the 3rd week she started begging me to take her back in. As far as i know there was no other man involved.

If it wasn’t for my boy, i would never have taken her back in my home.
If another man was involved, i would never have taken her back in my home.

To her credit, she really made an effort to be a good wife and at the moment, seeing my boy every day outweighs the other stuff, AT THE MOMENT.

2 years have passed since then and in these years my wife behaved acceptable for the most part.

BUT, lets be real!
You are not going to wash the stripes of a tiger away. A few times in these years her former attitude pushed through in moments when she thought she was in a position of power again. I know she is just suppressing her inner bully instead of having real insight in her shortcomings.

Its like taming a wild animal. She will not change for real, she is just willing to behave as long as i show strength and put her in her place from time to time when necessary (and fvck her 3-4 times a week of course).
I make sure my wife knows i have (female) options if she dares to act up again.
I make sure my wife knows she doesnt have ANY leverage on me.

How long am i willing to live like that? I don’t know.
For now i enjoy being with my son. But he gets older, he will be 6 in 2 years, he is smart, i guess he could take it in a few years.
I am still in good shape, i could start right over at any day and do feel not to old for my comeback as Don Juan.

Interesting. IN a bit of a difficult marital situation myself but may be on the recovery path. May want to compare notes at some point.
I also need to write Ricky part 2 tonight.

 

[RangerMIke]

Born to an alcoholic Vietnam vet and drugged up hippy, with predictable results... was sent to live with my natural DJ grandfather who I learned from observing, what worked with women.

Never in my life did I have trouble with girls and women, but in my early 30s... had a lapse in judgement... got married, had two kids... marriage fell apart... have been divorced for 14 years now.

After the divorce... took a couple of years getting back into dating, mostly because I had to rebuild my finances, business and I had a couple of kids I was raising. Once I started dating again, it was like riding a bike... but things were different with social media and the internet... it was harder to actually get women to actually go out, but once I got them on dates... really nothing changed.

About 6 years ago my nephew, who was a student a Tulane asked me to help him do better with girls... so I started to coach him, he had a lot of bad habits that were hurting him. Then one day he told me that what I was telling him mirrored this website he found... this one... I checked it out and it was REALLY interesting.

I never really knew why I didn't have trouble with chicks, when my friends were struggling. Honestly I didn't know. Coming here I learned WHY things were the way they were. Read Doc Love, thought that was great. Book of Pook... which really does a great job of explaining why what works and why other things don't... Anyway, that's my story.

 

[deadmasterx]

I never really knew why I didn't have trouble with chicks, when my friends were struggling. Honestly I didn't know. Coming here I learned WHY things were the way they were. Read Doc Love, thought that was great. Book of Pook... which really does a great job of explaining why what works and why other things don't... Anyway, that's my story.

It's the difference between being raised in a loving household, having a strong masculine figure in your life, things like this. It makes all difference because you become a natural. Neediness, clinginess and feeling insecure mostly comes from the way you've been raised. Validation seeking behaviour, beta behaviour, etc... it's all thanks to a messed up childhood.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I'm 25

I'm your typical raised by a beta male passive dad that grew up with a single mom and liked being bossed around by my step mom lol. I was also a nerdy black male that has been around white people 99% of my life, so I suffered from low confidence most of my life. I did not start gaining any confidence or learning about myself until I was 2 years out of college with traumatized me. If I'm around college kids I start getting angry and anxious because of the PTSD.

 

[bat soup]

When I was 14 I fell in love with a girl from school and I was heartbroken when it didn't work out. It was mostly my fault, because I didn't make a move even though it was obvious she liked me. I was a shy kid and I missed loads of opportunities like that. I didn't realise at the time that the guy is one that has to make the move.

The first time I had sex I was 16 and it was with a woman that worked at an airline office in Indonesia. I left my book on the plane and she helped me get it back, then we ended up going out together that night and sleeping together. Then she told me she was married. Her husband was working on a boat and spent a lot of time at sea.

The second woman I had sex with had a boyfriend. I was giving her English lessons in Spain and for the first lesson she invited me into her bedroom when there was noone else at home. I just couldn't resist her sexy accent and ended up kissing her. At this point she told me that she had a boyfriend. I left, but one week later she called me up and said "let's meet" and we ended up having sex in a park. I guess she liked that, because we ended up doing it in parks all over the city.

Actually at the time I found all of this quite frustrating because I really wanted a girlfriend. So I got hung up on women that just wanted sex and wondered why they didn't want to have a relationship with me. If I had just accepted the situation and enjoyed it for what it was, I could have probably kept it going for years with several of them. But of course, I scared them away by being needy.

When I was in a relationship, generally I was the one cheating although there were some women that didn't really want to commit or were just basically liars and also a bit crazy, so it's not surprising that they were also messing around on the side. I've run into quite a few attention whoares, that strung me along for a while before I realised what they were doing. That taught me not to get emotionally involved with women that have not proven themselves. It took me a long time to learn this lesson, so I got stung by these types several times.

I used to listen to a lot of Tom Leykis and I liked his take on women. I always enjoyed how he would confront them about their lies and hypocrisy. He talked a lot about how women use men financially. This, together with my own experiences, showed me that women have more tricks than a clown's pocket. I became more mistrustful of women generally, which I guess today is known as being "red pilled".

Despite that I think I've generally been lucky in my relationships. I've always had women that really loved me and appreciated me, even though they had their flaws and I was often the bad one because I've always liked variety. I know that there are a lot of tricks that women play, but since I have experience I don't think I'm too easy to fool. I think it's important to be aware and to listen to other men's experiences so that you know what's up.