Do Men Still Pay For Dates

[Velasco]

But...the legit, bonafide 9s and 10s - they aren't dropping their panties for the schmuck that lives in a dirty studio apartment and drives a beat up Civic. I don't care how 'Alpha' you think you are.

your friend beexcellent, literally just provided an example of a guy she knew that was banging this 9 (unless "stunning" = 6-7?) in her prime (college) while he was broke as a joke....

 

[BeExcellent]

The gorgeous (prettier than Cindy Crawford in her prime) brunette and her BF were high school sweethearts who went off to the same university. They dated all through high school & college and were both from affluent families. She dropped him shortly after college because he didn’t get his act together and she married someone else by 24 or 25. She is still married and happily so.

I dropped him cold after 2 dates.

Desirable people vet people they go out with. Men do it. So do women.

One fascinating thing from the responses in this thread is the idea that a woman who wants to pay isn’t that interested in you (aka she feels kinda bad because she doesn’t like you “like that” and doesn’t want to feel obligated to you or doesn’t want you to think you were just a meal ticket when she blows you off)...I’ve done that myself.

If I like a man? I’ll let him care for me and spoil me if he wants to. It’s nice to feel cared for by someone you like. Makes a man feel good to do that for a woman he likes.

 

[Igetit!]

What if the man is a feminist, a champion for women’s rights? Does he still pay?

What does fighting for women's rights in SOCIETY have to do with dating and sexual relationships?

Women's "rights"....are like the right to vote,equal pay for equal work,not being passed up for promotions based on her gender and stuff like that.......it HAS NOTHING TO DO with one-on-one dating/sexual relationships between a man and a woman.

I can point you to actual laws about voting and workplace treatment,legislation that's been voted on and passed.

What law can you show me that has to do with dating etiquette between men and women?

Why are ya'll bringing "women's rights" into dating? You can't bring "equality between the sexes" into the bedroom....that's CRAZY.

 

[BeExcellent]

What does fighting for women's rights in SOCIETY have to do with dating and sexual relationships?

Women's "rights"....are like the right to vote,equal pay for equal work,not being passed up for promotions based on her gender and stuff like that.......it HAS NOTHING TO DO with one-on-one dating/sexual relationships between a man and a woman.

I can point you to actual laws about voting and workplace treatment,legislation that's been voted on and passed.

What law can you show me that has to do with dating etiquette between men and women?

Why are ya'll bringing "women's rights" into dating? You can't bring "equality between the sexes" into the bedroom....that's CRAZY.

I dunno either, lol. He asked me to answer a question that is not really answerable...

 

[Sir FB]

Because I’m hungry and don’t feel like Chicken Nuggets that night.

Hank Moody FTW!

 

[dude99]

I've read a lot of posts from users here, and it shocked me that so many men still pay for dates. Especially if you go put to nice resturuants those costs really add up.

Women my age (early 20s) typically get mad at the thought of a men even suggesting he pays for everything. They always insist we split the bill, and some feminist women offer to pay for everything. I have yet to meet a woman who demanded men pay for everything.

Context: I live in Australia which is a lot more feminist compared to America.

Here in Canada it is still the norm for the guy to pay but if chicks are insisting on paying or paying half Then let them. At least you aren't being used and taken advantage of.

 

[MoMoses]

I go for drinks with a date or cook her dinner myself at my place. Both of these don't cost a lot of money, so yes I'll pay.

If I do not like the girl, or if I get the vibe that nothing is going to happen I will still pay the bill and never see her again after this. It's called common courtisy. I don't mind. It'll be 20-30 euros tops. That's nothing.

But if she is a taker and never offers to pay for something herself I'll have sex with her as soon as possible and after that she won't hear from me again.

In a relationship I never keep count of who paid what but again, if it tilts too much in my direction when it comes to paying stuff, then it will be really easy for me to walk and find someone else. I actually ended two relationships because of this. I cannot be in a commited relationship with a girl who thinks I have to pay for everything just because she has a V.

Most girls offer to pay stuff aswell btw, so I rarely run into problem girls.

 

[2Rocky]

If you can't afford a white tablecloth restaurant then don't make that your first date venue. Plain and simple. Personally I can get to know someone MUUUUCH better in the outdoors moving along on a walk. Think of the food or drink on that first date as the price you pay for her exclusive attention. It is up to you to make the most of that investment.

I've been asked to be a woman's date a few times. She set the agenda, and paid for the meals. We had an awesome time, and I made sure she enjoyed herself. It does go both ways but don't expect to invite a woman to do something then split the check. As said above do something you like then pay because you enjoy doing it with that person...Male or female.

 

[Grinderman]

I go for drinks with a date or cook her dinner myself at my place.

Curious. Do you invite her for dinner at your place when your flat mates are not there or do you have to bribe them to give you
some space? It must be difficult for a man in his forties still house sharing like a college student.

It's called common courtisy.

Some call it being a simp, I suppose it's perspective. but you've get extra coin to piss away seen as you are house sharing.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I've read a lot of posts from users here, and it shocked me that so many men still pay for dates. Especially if you go put to nice resturuants those costs really add up.

Women my age (early 20s) typically get mad at the thought of a men even suggesting he pays for everything. They always insist we split the bill, and some feminist women offer to pay for everything. I have yet to meet a woman who demanded men pay for everything.

Context: I live in Australia which is a lot more feminist compared to America.

100% agree! The issue with this is that you are sending the wrong message when you pay for everything. We are not saying never pay, but there needs to be a tangible effort and investment on her part as well.

This is especially true on first dates, those, we believe, are best kept simple, creative, and cheap/free.

The reason why making her also invest in you is that psychologically that allows a woman to feel "connected" and "vested" with you. If you play your cards right, the girl is most likely to make an actual consistent effort instead of running for the hills if she feels something is off and therefore going MIA aka ghosting.


Modern Man Advice

 

[bonesmahoney]

You're dating 40+ year old broads who have a different set of expectations for dating compared to say, hot girls 18 to 28. The former are going to have more traditional expectations. But dating per se is on the decline. Prior to the fake pandemic, we used to go out in groups, everyone paid for themselves, and eventually those who were interested in each other paired off without formal "dating."

Please don't impose your grouchy boomer memes and expectations on those of us who date hotter, younger girls. Thanks.

In the US, I just think expecting a woman to pay at any point early on in the dating process is emasculating. Like you're already giving her the lead and lacking balls, you have a s*it job because you made s*it choices and can't afford to treat the very woman you likely asked out. Just seems wussy to me. I know it's popular with Gen Y and Z, but then look at the guys from those generations, largely feminine, so they probably don't care. Not trying to offend, some ok Ys and Zs on SS, just my general observation.

I actually enjoy paying. I take pride in it. I own a successful business and have some jingle in my pocket, so no big deal. I feel like I'm in charge and leading this way which is important to me.

I do agree that lavish dinners at expensive restaurants are not a good idea in the early going. Drinks and appetizers, an activity, cooking, gallery, small theatre, sporting event, so many cool things you can do--and pay for--that won't break the bank but will still set you up as the lead man.

Notice how similar their answers are. Full of hate and contempt for younger folk. Clearly, there needs to be a separate section for boomers.

The OP wondered if men still pay for dates. The answer is yes they do IF they see enough value in the woman to do so. Simple.

I don’t date anyone who posts here so I’m not personally invested in what any particular poster here does.

What you don’t want, as a man, is to come off to a woman you like as cheap or unable to support yourself or unable to afford a date, especially early on. None of that is a (+) reflection on a man.

Attractive women have choices and they vote with their attention (or lack thereof) just like sought after men do. It’s fairly simple.

 

[bat soup]

I've read a lot of posts from users here, and it shocked me that so many men still pay for dates. Especially if you go put to nice resturuants those costs really add up.

Women my age (early 20s) typically get mad at the thought of a men even suggesting he pays for everything. They always insist we split the bill, and some feminist women offer to pay for everything. I have yet to meet a woman who demanded men pay for everything.

Context: I live in Australia which is a lot more feminist compared to America.

In Europe, at least the countries I've lived in (UK, Italy and Spain) women normally pay for their own sheeet. But in the USA, South America, North Africa and certain parts of the Middle East, women expect men to pay. If you date a Spanish woman, for example, if you pay for a meal she´ll pay for the next one.

I can understand it in poor countries or places where women don't work, but I find US women particularly hypocritical. Supposedly they´re equal but they don´t want to pay their own bills.

 

[bonesmahoney]

If you are spending $100 the question becomes why? No need to.

Because he can't get anyone to talk to him otherwise. Boise is low income. It's like traveling to South America or sub saharan Africa.

 

[BadBoy89]

What does fighting for women's rights in SOCIETY have to do with dating and sexual relationships?

Women's "rights"....are like the right to vote,equal pay for equal work,not being passed up for promotions based on her gender and stuff like that.......it HAS NOTHING TO DO with one-on-one dating/sexual relationships between a man and a woman.

Women ‘s rights/feminism is NOT about women’s rights, equal pay or promotions.

It‘s about POWER. Its about not being submissive to men, not needing men, being fine on your own, not having a baby to define who a woman is, men only sperm donors, otherwise they are useless.

If a man is fighting for a woman to have this power in the world, how can he be expected to pay?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

In Europe, at least the countries I've lived in (UK, Italy and Spain) women normally pay for their own sheeet. But in the USA, South America, North Africa and certain parts of the Middle East, women expect men to pay. If you date a Spanish woman, for example, if you pay for a meal she´ll pay for the next one.

I can understand it in poor countries or places where women don't work, but I find US women particularly hypocritical. Supposedly they´re equal but they don´t want to pay their own bills.

Well...here is how it goes. If YOU invite someone out to do something, it is expected that you pay. If you don't like this wait for THEM to invite you out and then you can expect them to pay.

If paying is that big of a deal then either you are taking them to way more expensive places than you should or you should be worrying about finding a better job and not dating women.

 

[bat soup]

Well...here is how it goes. If YOU invite someone out to do something, it is expected that you pay. If you don't like this wait for THEM to invite you out and then you can expect them to pay.

If paying is that big of a deal then either you are taking them to way more expensive places than you should or you should be worrying about finding a better job and not dating women.

What nonsense.

 

[Grinderman]

Well...here is how it goes. If YOU invite someone out to do something, it is expected that you pay. If you don't like this wait for THEM to invite you out and then you can expect them to pay.

If paying is that big of a deal then either you are taking them to way more expensive places than you should or you should be worrying about finding a better job and not dating women.

In the USA there is a whole DATING CULTURE that simply DOES NOT EXIST in most other countries.

Going for dinner in Europe for example is something you do with friends or family or your partner. It's just not done with someone you are casually seeing. The whole concept of seeing someone is different. Nobody says "I've got a date tonight". It's a bit on the formal weird side.

 

[Lookatu]

I have a buddy who's wife is from Vietnam. He always tells me, "If you ever get married, marry an Asian woman. She will take THE best care of you."

Apologies for going off topic...
Certain Asian and Middle Eastern(Muslim) women are the few in modern times that will make the best wives IMO. A highly untapped market is Japan. The women are generally submissive, more traditional, believe in the male/female gender roles, loyal, have a strong family unit, and most of all will not take advantage of any power struggles that exists in the west after marriage. They do not get hit on/approached/etc due to very beta Japanese dudes. The Japanese government literally has subsidy programs for people to get married and have babies as it's been in decline for awhile now and their population is being threatened.

 

[Grinderman]

but I find US women particularly hypocritical.

And they are some of the most God awful loud mouthed foul creatures on this planet, yet these simps are falling all over themselves to impress them and pay betabucks for the privilege of their time.

 

[SW15]

I don't underatand why a man would need to pay, both parties work so why is it that the man must pay? She's going on the date too.

If a man pays, what does a woman do? Just show up?

In the United States, the man pays simply because he's the one most likely asking her out. Yes, she just shows up.

There have been many times in my dating life where I've footed the bill for a date with a woman who had a higher salary than I had at the moment of that date. That's unfortunate for me. I don't appreciate it at all. Because of some outdated principle, I have to pay for her drink. If I don't, I'll be labeled a cheapskate and I won't get a 2nd date.

This is made worse by the real pandemic out there. The real pandemic is male thirst. There are a surplus of males out there. The United States has it. Australia likes has it. China and India have it the worst. When the two most populated nations on Earth have a huge surplus of men, it makes things bad for all men. China and India have been dumping some of their excess males into the United States via the H1B visa. This is why the San Francisco Bay Area has a male-female ratio nearly as bad as Beijing.

When there is a surplus of penis out there, the scarcity of vagina makes vagina more expensive.

Yes. She just shows up.

I spend $100. Then she spends the rest of the night staring at the ceiling.

It’s just how it is.

That's the ideal outcome, but a lot of men get soaked for the cost of the date and don't get vagina to show for the effort.