Minimal texting early on

[BJP1991]

Met a girl for a first date, we met on bumble. Date went well, good convo, similar interests.

She texted me within a hour of the date ending, thanking me for such a fun date. Good sign.

We have a second date lined up for this weekend. I don’t really plan to text her at all, maybe a simple “happy Friday” like text tomorrow but that’s all. She told me in our last texts a couple days ago she can’t wait for our next date.

I also am talking to and making plans with other women, but for some reason the fact that she hasn’t texted me since then bugs need for some reason. I have a killer job I love and awesome hobbies/friends. But somehow I’m anxious about the fact she isn’t casually texting me on the days between the dates. Last texts were what I said above, when I made the plans for us with her and she said she can’t wait. That was over 2 days ago and our date is early next week Monday.

Between a first and second date, how much texting do you like to do with a new girl? I know not to initiate and make statements if I do initiate (not questions). Does this turn some women off if a new guy doesn’t text her to “sound interested in her” - btw this is something I think is BS. I am interested in her. I just haven’t texted her since we made plans for coming up.

 

[derby1]

the women Im meeting try and message me like they are my girlfriend everyday, it becomes quite annoying so early on

I check in with them 30% them 60-70%

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I have had women not respond to my texts for days, but I was still having sex with them and I have women that text or snap me everyday and I can't get them to go out on a date with me lol. I've also had women text me consistently good mornings and paragraphs everyday before meeting and she would flake on dates or give me the I'm not over my ex cop out.

 

[Lookatu]

Personally, you don't have to go on full conversation mode. Just send something quick to let her know you are thinking of her. Breadcrumbs to keep her interest up and nothing more. This I feel is especially important when you first meet someone since they don't know themselves how interested you still are or not.

It could just be a quick: "Hey I was walking by this park and it reminded me of our date". Depending on how and when she replies can be a good indicator of her interest level for the next date. Women can lovebomb you or say things all the time. That's what they do but doesn't mean that it's true. That's why we always advocate to judge her by her actions and not her words. In this scenario, if she responds fairly fast and with a good response, that's your barometer reading.

However after you've had sex or have been going on a few dates, you'll need to readjust based on her/your texting preferences. Everyone has one and no two are the same.

 

[MoMoses]

Met a girl for a first date, we met on bumble. Date went well, good convo, similar interests.
She texted me within a hour of the date ending, thanking me for such a fun date. Good sign.

We have a second date lined up for this weekend. I don’t really plan to text her at all, maybe a simple “happy Friday” like text tomorrow but that’s all. She told me in our last texts a couple days ago she can’t wait for our next date.

I also am talking to and making plans with other women, but for some reason the fact that she hasn’t texted me since then bugs need for some reason. I have a killer job I love and awesome hobbies/friends. But somehow I’m anxious about the fact she isn’t casually texting me on the days between the dates. Last texts were what I said above, when I made the plans for us with her and she said she can’t wait. That was over 2 days ago and our date is early next week Monday.

Between a first and second date, how much texting do you like to do with a new girl? I know not to initiate and make statements if I do initiate (not questions). Does this turn some women off if a new guy doesn’t text her to “sound interested in her” - btw this is something I think is BS. I am interested in her. I just haven’t texted her since we made plans for coming up.

You haven't kissed her yet, haven't you?

Always go for the kiss on the first date. Always.

They will text you between dates when there was a kiss.

It's not over yet, don't worry. She giving you good signs, that I agree, but you haven't given her butterflies either. She's probably wondering the same thing as you right now. Should I text him? Or not? She is still undecided if she's into you or not, so you still have a shot at this. The moment she feels she's not that into you it's over. Don't let this happen, escalate the next time you see her.

 

[derby1]

I have had women not respond to my texts for days, but I was still having sex with them and I have women that text or snap me everyday and I can't get them to go out on a date with me lol. I've also had women text me consistently good mornings and paragraphs everyday before meeting and she would flake on dates or give me the I'm not over my ex cop out.

this is why you take no notice of anything that comes out a girls mouth....

In future I dont care if shes tells you, you are a 10/ shes never met anyone so handsome./she wouldnt be able to keep her hands off you..

its all BS, in fact i've had much better relationships of substance, with women who barely said anything in the initial phase

The women who made out I was GOD, not so much

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

this is why you take no notice of anything that comes out a girls mouth....

In future I dont care if shes tells you, you are a 10/ shes never met anyone so handsome./she wouldnt be able to keep her hands off you..

its all BS, in fact i've had much better relationships of substance, with women who barely said anything in the initial phase

The women who made out I was GOD, not so much

Exactly, if a girl is blowing up your phone constantly then she most likely has something wrong with her. There are some people I don't respond to immediately because I'd rather take my time but I also have friends that we just literally shoot the **** with so I can easily respond while doing something.

 

[derby1]

Exactly, if a girl is blowing up your phone constantly then she most likely has something wrong with her. There are some people I don't respond to immediately because I'd rather take my time but I also have friends that we just literally shoot the **** with so I can easily respond while doing something.

the last 3 women to play me up the most, or ghost me, were ones who confirmed how hot they thought I was

 

[cola]

When is the 2nd date? This weekend or next Mon?

I wouldn't worry about reviving conversation. If she initiates, I would respond, and yet I would still show restraint. I prefer to keep the texting minimal and rather purposefully bland and vanilla.

I always, however, have a Plan B activity lined up, and I also usually text the morning of the date: "Hi there just making sure we're still on. See you tonight at 8?"

First time I’ve ever disagreed with Espi. I would send one or two thoughtful texts. Something along the lines of what you guys were laughing and joking about on the first date.

I’d also try to get a little flirty.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Knock it off. Kill that texting urge. Texting is feminine behavior. There is nothing more that needs to be done.

Not texting her is actually helping your case. She might be compelled to reach out. As we speak she’s wondering about you. Why let your own insecurity mess that up?

 

[cola]

Knock it off. Kill that texting urge. Texting is feminine behavior. There is nothing more that needs to be done.

Not texting her is actually helping your case. She might be compelled to reach out. As we speak she’s wondering about you. Why let your own insecurity mess that up?

I do agree that she should be the one reaching out majority of the time, but you are doing yourself a disservice never texting.

Remember, everyone wants to feel desired. There is nothing wrong with sharing a little bit of your value by shooting a quick text here and there. Nothing sappy or long, just a quick playful flirty text here and there between dates.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Not going to lie, the texting part makes me the most anxious. How are you supposed to know lol

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

After you fvck, do not call or text her. Wait for her to call you....even if it takes a week or two.

We don't do any "Hey, I had fun last night. Let's do it again sometime."

If you disagree with me, I don't care. This is my advice. More than one way to skin a cat.

but I see dudes texting their girls constantly and getting laid

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

@Jake_Gyllenhaal69 are you fairly new to the game? Or are you pretty experienced w/ women?

I've seen it all lol. I've had women that I was having sex with not respond to me for days. I've had girls send me bread crumbs. I've had girls send me messages every day but ignore my date my requests lol.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Same here brother. Always remember...

A single girl with options is fvcking more guys than the single dude with options is fvcking girls.

Always going to be the case.

Hell I'll take it farther...Your average woman has probably had sex with more women than most men.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I do agree that she should be the one reaching out majority of the time, but you are doing yourself a disservice never texting.

Remember, everyone wants to feel desired. There is nothing wrong with sharing a little bit of your value by shooting a quick text here and there. Nothing sappy or long, just a quick playful flirty text here and there between dates.

No. Texting is not required at all. It hurts you. You gain nothing by texting. If you want to chit chat, hire a shrink. Conversation with women should be had in person on a date. If she wants to hear from you more often, she will contact you.

 

[cola]

No. Texting is not required at all. It hurts you. You gain nothing by texting. If you want to chit chat, hire a shrink. Conversation with women should be had in person on a date. If she wants to hear from you more often, she will contact you.

It only hurts you if you send mundane, poorly thought our texts, or needy texts like “wyd”, “wya” ..

But if your thoughtful, witty and find the correct balance between “he’s showing me he’s interested” & “he’s needy, he texts too much”

It can be a great way to move things along quicker, build rapport, plant seeds in her mind and build anticipation/excitement ..

An example: I have this girl I’m dating now, really great girl. So we have this “thing” going where I never tell her where we are going, just how to dress.
For instance last week I text her early in the week “11 pm Friday, dress sexy I want you to be the sexiest woman in the room” .. And all week I’d ask things like “What color panties you gonna wear Friday?” And little flirty messages like that..

She f*cking loves it, that sh*t drives her wild.

 

[Lookatu]

No. Texting is not required at all. It hurts you. You gain nothing by texting. If you want to chit chat, hire a shrink. Conversation with women should be had in person on a date. If she wants to hear from you more often, she will contact you.

This seems to follow too much of a formula IMO. I know you may be hard headed on this one just like other SS members that have a firm stance on other things here.

However IMO, I think not texting could be preventing you from getting with high quality women. You yourself said that you mostly go for lower end 6-7 females. I really think even just changing up your texting "rules" a bit could open the door to meet/maintain quality women and not leave anything on the table.

We are all humans and we all want to know that we are wanted and desired regardless if we're male or female. It's a two way street.
And the fact that SS member's are more calibrated(I hope) to not be over texting or saying stupid stuff, I think it can definitely done with tact and reservation to keep or grow her interest levels regardless of where you're at with her.

 

[EyeBRollin]

However IMO, I think not texting could be preventing you from getting with high quality women. You yourself said that you mostly go for lower end 6-7 females. I really think even just changing up your texting "rules" a bit could open the door to meet/maintain quality women and not leave anything on the table.

We are all humans and we all want to know that we are wanted and desired regardless if we're male or female. It's a two way street.
And the fact that SS member's are more calibrated(I hope) to not be over texting or saying stupid stuff, I think it can definitely done with tact and reservation to keep or grow her interest levels regardless of where you're at with her.

Sorry guy this belief is just not true. Texting does not improve your chances. You cannot talk a woman into liking you. This is an objective truth so many guys are unwilling to accept. Texting is also the least efficient form of conversation as it removes body language and tonality (both far more important than words).

Y’all can continue spinning wheels trying to text these mythical 8+ girls into liking you (along with the other 100 guys doing the same). I’ll live in reality banging out these submissive “low end” 6/7s.

 

[Lookatu]

You cannot talk a woman into liking you.

I agree with this and I never said anything about texting a women to "like" you.

Texting chemistry is different than real life so no matter how well you get along in text doesn't equal real life attraction. I don't advocate for dude to spend time endlessly texting someone to try to get them to like them before meeting them in real life.

When you're texting a woman, it is all the other things like building comfort, gaining enough trust to meet up with you, comfort in that you still like her after a date, etc. It's just merely a tool to open the doors or to keep the doors open to opportunities.

A women can only truly like you if you meet her in person. Texting after meeting though is a communication tool just like anything else.