Girl wants to get to know me better before meeting

[Goksjrr]

Hey,

A girl(21yo) that I've been chatting with for a few texts in Tinder asked if I have a Snapchat so that we could get to know eachother better before meeting. She said that she has never met anyone from Tinder and is super shy.

I think she is atleast 8/10 so I bet there's a lot of guys trying to meet her. She also searched me on Instagram and started following me without us even talking about it.

I don't want to become her text buddy because I don't care about it and because I'm bad at texting. How would you guys deal with this situation? Would you give her your Snapchat?

 

[DSterlen]

Easy. Talk on the phone, and put your slightly sexy voice on. It works. People have been doing it for 100 years.

Her friends will be confused lol

 

[sosumba]

She said that she has never met anyone from Tinder and is super shy.

Yeah, sure....

 

[DSterlen]

Yeah, sure....

I almost spit out my coffee over here

Seriously though OP, do a thread title search here for "phone game". There are very old threads on this. I haven't read them all but there should be some good stuff in there. The general consensus is to keep it short like 5 mins and go for the date/meetup. Maybe 15 if it's going nicely but get off the phone before it stalls out, not after. Gotta leave her wanting more.

 

[Lookatu]

You gotta either up your text game to make her more comfortable to get her out. Rather than SC, just facetime her for 5-10 min and be funny, likeable, defuse her defenses and make her comfortable enough to meet you somewhere.
Don't over text, talk with her though outside of making her just comfortable enough to meet you.

 

[Romanemp22]

Text / call no more than 4 days, after that proceed to meet up in person.

 

[bat soup]

Hey,

A girl(21yo) that I've been chatting with for a few texts in Tinder asked if I have a Snapchat so that we could get to know eachother better before meeting. She said that she has never met anyone from Tinder and is super shy.

I think she is atleast 8/10 so I bet there's a lot of guys trying to meet her. She also searched me on Instagram and started following me without us even talking about it.

I don't want to become her text buddy because I don't care about it and because I'm bad at texting. How would you guys deal with this situation? Would you give her your Snapchat?

Tell her "ok, give me your number and I'll call you". Then call her, talk for 5 minutes and set up a date.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Face Time completely diffuses this, 5 min on face time your like an old friend.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

The general consensus is to keep it short like 5 mins

good luck finding any woman that will shut up after 5 minutes long enough to make a date and say good bye. They just keep yapping and yapping and yapping

 

[derby1]

ust facetime her for 5-10 min and be funny,

Tyrone wouldnt do this, & neither should you

 

[bat soup]

Isn't Snapchat another one of those attention whoaring apps?

Any time you're following a woman's instructions, something is wrong.

 

[Lookatu]

Tyrone wouldnt do this, & neither should you

I've actually never done it but due to the lockdowns and the cold/snow, I would probably consider it if it meant the difference between getting her out or having her be indecisive about it. This way you can also validate her real looks in real time and not waste your time on a bait and switch too. It serves a couple different purposes.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

good luck finding any woman that will shut up after 5 minutes long enough to make a date and say good bye. They just keep yapping and yapping and yapping

If guys are so unwilling to put forth any effort at all when meeting a woman it should come to no surprise that many don't do so well in this regard.

I'm not saying talk for 3 hours but there is nothing wrong with 15 or 20 minutes of talking. Sometimes I think guys inability to have any type of interesting conversation and worrying they will screw up the longer they talk is what is behind all of this.

 

[RickTheToad]

She's not that interested. If, after 10 - 15 minutes of talking or facetiming she still will not meet, thank her for time and off to the next one. Knock it up to the game, and don't take it personally.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

If guys are so unwilling to put forth any effort at all when meeting a woman it should come to no surprise that many don't do so well in this regard.

I'm not saying talk for 3 hours but there is nothing wrong with 15 or 20 minutes of talking. Sometimes I think guys inability to have any type of interesting conversation and worrying they will screw up the longer they talk is what is behind all of this.

a conversation implies two people are talking. I got one girl i dread seeing call me, she talks for an hour and i listen and grunt at the appropriate places. Actually i have 2 like that now that i think about it. I feel like an emotional tampon when i hang up.

 

[Max Baker]

Sounds like its getting too hard already. Next.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

a conversation implies two people are talking. I got one girl i dread seeing call me, she talks for an hour and i listen and grunt at the appropriate places. Actually i have 2 like that now that i think about it. I feel like an emotional tampon when i hang up.

You gotta get better at leading the conversation and controlling it. This is a form of leading. It doesn't just mean picking the day and time of the date or choosing where to sit, etc. Leading the conversation is VERY important. One thing that I didn't understand for a long time and something that has helped get better results now that I understand it better. I'm still not perfect with it tho, but I am definitely better.

A lot of guys struggle with this. Cut threads, change subjects, interrupt her if the convo isn't going where you want it to and say something like "we can get back to this later but what I really want to ask you is...", if she is being lame and boring then give her the raised eyebrows look and tell her that and say something like "C'mon...we aren't going to have this type of boring convo. We can do better than this right?"

Always need to be leading and giving direction especially in the beginning with a woman. Sitting around and listening to whatever they want to talk about is a form of being a "nice guy" and one that most guys don't think about when dealing with women.

 

[Glassguy]

This is an easy situation to handle from my experience.

Her: I like to get to know someone before meeting them.
Me: Sorry, I like to get to know someone by meeting them. It seems I cant decide if I am interested in someone over text. If you change your mind and decide to meet up for a drink, let me know.

Typically they change their tune fast if they are higher interest. If they are nothing but an attention wh0re, they will likely disappear because they cant milk attention through text from you after that.

 

[Lookatu]

This is an easy situation to handle from my experience.

Her: I like to get to know someone before meeting them.
Me: Sorry, I like to get to know someone by meeting them. It seems I cant decide if I am interested in someone over text. If you change your mind and decide to meet up for a drink, let me know.

Typically they change their tune fast if they are higher interest. If they are nothing but an attention wh0re, they will likely disappear because they cant milk attention through text from you after that.

I say something similar but to further screen out these types, I just state it in my profile. "I don't want a pen pal. I'd prefer to meet sooner than later" or "Prefer to meet in real life because there is so much more you can get from that instead of just words on the screen"

It's pretty surprising how many girls are refreshed by this when they read it as they are always complaining that guys text too much without asking them out. I was initially surprised by that but I guess statistically, there are a lot of guys like that out there.

 

[nismo-4]

She's super shy? My ass!

Would she be super shy and want to get to know Dwayne Johnson or Lebron James or Elon Musk over text before meeting? Or Drake? Or Steph Curry?

She wants to get to know you for beta boyfriend purposes while Tyrone blows her back out. Chad will destroy her vag, she'll blow Enrique, and Hiroshi will cüm all over her face.

She wants to control you. Read Glassguy's response 5 times and internalize it. Do it now.

Case closed.