Women have difficulty accepting their actual SMV; how will they finally see it?

[christie]

The best way I can think to keep reminding myself is to compare career/weight ratios.

If I had been on welfare/government handouts for the last 24 years but kept a toned, low bodyfat % I would currently have a higher SMV than what I do now with a 'career' and the plumpness.

It is difficult to accept that I worked hard for the wrong priority.

I could have slowed down the aging process, the stress eating, the cortisol fat buildup from shiftwork, the selfneglect by eating junkfood if I would have just accepted free handouts but stayed exercising and careful calorie counting and proper rest and had lack of ambition and worry.

One of the dating sites used to have a question on your level of ambition and a woman always seems to think she's impressing a man in 2021, by showing him what she's accomplished in her working career.

It impresses men more how much of your tight, youthful looks you've kept and your lack of job competitiveness.
Being available and at home for when a man needs you to conform to his schedule is way more attractive.

Even if I didn't use the welfare example but say, I still lived at home for free all these past years I spent working, I may have been able to retain more youthfulness and fitter body.

When the wall hits, it is stunning to think about how differently I could have been living and possibly been judged having a better SMV, not worse.

I thought I was being a good person by doing what I did. Being accountable and responsible.

I'm smiling as I write this. I'm past red pill rage stage. I just thought it important to write the comparison out.

Its true right?
If I had been on welfare, relaxing at home, keeping a stressfree life while working hard on my tight figure, my SMV would probably be higher than it is now?

I think I heard Owen Cook say in a recorded seminar that he was exasperated by people making snide comments about his plumpness/aging as he was frustrated the detractors didn't get how hard he was working and how little time/energy he had to take care of his SMV.

I get him.
I understood.

So now that one knows, it becomes easy. Work on career less. Work on weight/fitness and lowering stress levels to look younger and healthier more.

Simple!

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Don't dwell on the past e.g. "coulda woulda shoulda" stuff.

2. Weight changes can be MUCH faster than career changes. We are talking months or maybe a year at most. On the other hand, career progress can take many years. You got the more difficult/time consuming one (career) handled already.

 

[Bigpapa]

Depends on how good looking you were when you were young

if you were not that good looking , I would say that your smv was not that affected by the aging process . So focusing on a career is not a bad thing , at least you should have money

 

[christie]

1. Don't dwell on the past e.g. "coulda woulda shoulda" stuff.

2. Weight changes can be MUCH faster than career changes. We are talking months or maybe a year at most. On the other hand, career progress can take many years. You got the more difficult/time consuming one (career) handled already.

1. yes, it can be energy draining to dwell, I'll check that right now
2. at least I did get that out of the way....I was still feeling pretty ambitious but I have difficulty finding energy to do both(career with high ambition/weightloss)

Could be that I'm at the 'I've painted myself into a corner stage' where as soon as I start dropping weight in the higher percentages I'll naturally get more energy.

That Estrogeneration book I got might give me some tips on what other lifestyle/product consumption changes I can make. Just in case it is a thyroid issue too.(yes, I just defaulted to the chubby girl using her thyroid/hormone levels as an excuse, lol)

Thanks for your reply and Happy New Year!

 

[christie]

Depends on how good looking you were when you were young

if you were not that good looking , I would say that your smv was not that affected by the aging process . So focusing on a career is not a bad thing , at least you should have money

Yes, at least I wasn't a leech on the systems. I paddled my own canoe and took my lumps. I have been forged with fire and I'm amazed at how strong my immune system and general health is. No concerns, no medication or chronic illness.

That's such a good point about what did my smv look like at my best years(topform young years)

Less weight, longer hair, smoother skin, steady boyfriends(regular orgasms....sorry if that's TMI)but I had those disgusting habits of smoking and drinking back then that I don't have now.

 

[Bigpapa]

Yes, at least I wasn't a leech on the systems. I paddled my own canoe and took my lumps. I have been forged with fire and I'm amazed at how strong my immune system and general health is. No concerns, no medication or chronic illness.

That's such a good point about what did my smv look like at my best years(topform young years)

Less weight, longer hair, smoother skin, steady boyfriends(regular orgasms....sorry if that's TMI)but I had those disgusting habits of smoking and drinking back then that I don't have now.

yes but for example if you were a 7 in your youth and now you are a 6 , is not a big value drop, and you should not regret the move , as it

usually high value women that also go for a career , they only go for the career so they get the high value guy , and after a while they do not focus at all on the career as they have more than enough money in 2

focusing on the career is quite stupid , as it is not worth it on the long term

 

[christie]

yes but for example if you were a 7 in your youth and now you are a 6 , is not a big value drop, and you should not regret the move , as it

usually high value women that also go for a career , they only go for the career so they get the high value guy , and after a while they do not focus at all on the career as they have more than enough money in 2

focusing on the career is quite stupid , as it is not worth it on the long term

Yes, a career and money doesn't keep you company during the holidays or on a vacation.

I still get looks from men without makeup on and at this plumper weight so maybe I only dropped 1, like you said. I am not foolish enough to put a smv number on myself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's for other people to judge.
But much like the laments of the guys here complain about, I'm not interested in the guys that are interested in me.
Its like none of these guys are working on themselves BigPapa! Almost zero muscular men, I think maybe two I've seen in the past two years living fulltime in this area!!! One, I saw in his vehicle with the window open and his arm was visible and two in a mall but my heart was pounding so fast I couldn't go approach him. What a regret, I tell you.

In the past two years, I've had two gym memberships and went to a few dropins at the centre and still no muscular guys!! but at least I respected them more than the average guy elsewhere, because at least they're making a start on improving, for God's sakes.

 

[christie]

I know the more expensive gyms have the muscular ones.

 

[Bigpapa]

Yes, a career and money doesn't keep you company during the holidays or on a vacation.

I still get looks from men without makeup on and at this plumper weight so maybe I only dropped 1, like you said. I am not foolish enough to put a smv number on myself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's for other people to judge.
But much like the laments of the guys here complain about, I'm not interested in the guys that are interested in me.
Its like none of these guys are working on themselves BigPapa! Almost zero muscular men, I think maybe two I've seen in the past two years living fulltime in this area!!! One, I saw in his vehicle with the window open and his arm was visible and two in a mall but my heart was pounding so fast I couldn't go approach him. What a regret, I tell you.

In the past two years, I've had two gym memberships and went to a few dropins at the centre and still no muscular guys!! but at least I respected them more than the average guy elsewhere, because at least they're making a start on improving, for God's sakes.

I do not have muscles either . I am fit and athletic , but for sure not muscular

sure putting muscles would increase my smv , but I am quite attractive as I currently am and getting the muscles would “cost” more than the advantageI would get

so for sure it is not about muscles when you do not find men attractive

 

[christie]

I will not know until I up my smv to attract such muscles.
Maybe raising my smv will have the muscular men approach me, I have to try before going WGTOW.

 

[Bigpapa]

I will not know until I up my smv to attract such muscles.
Maybe raising my smv will have the muscular men approach me, I have to try before going WGTOW.

Muscular alone men in general do not get laid as much as people like to think , so I am sure that is not necessarily your perceived smv the problem

I would say that a lot of guys into muscle have quite a low self esteem , and this is why they do not approach you

 

[christie]

Muscular alone men in general do not get laid as much as people like to think , so I am sure that is not necessarily your perceived smv the problem

I would say that a lot of guys into muscle have quite a low self esteem , and this is why they do not approach you

oh!! You just shocked me twice.

I feel like I've been zapped.
Never would I have thought that muscular men aren't drowning in women and NEVER would I have thought they had low self esteem. Kind of like male models? or what I've heard about them having low selfesteem?

I just got a burst of confidence thinking that maybe I can use the social dynamics I learned here to game a muscular guy into dating me right now.
Surely I would still get his acceptance, if he sees me at least consistently trying and working on improving my smv? even if I'm not at trophy girlfriend of a bodybuilder stage quite yet?
Maybe my support and admiration of him would make me a trophy bodybuilder girlfriend in his eyes right now.

 

[Bigpapa]

oh!! You just shocked me twice.

I feel like I've been zapped.
Never would I have thought that muscular men aren't drowning in women and NEVER would I have thought they had low self esteem. Kind of like male models? or what I've heard about them having low selfesteem?

I just got a burst of confidence thinking that maybe I can use the social dynamics I learned here to game a muscular guy into dating me right now.
Surely I would still get his acceptance, if he sees me at least consistently trying and working on improving my smv? even if I'm not at trophy girlfriend of a bodybuilder stage quite yet?
Maybe my support and admiration of him would make me a trophy bodybuilder girlfriend in his eyes right now.

on average guys going to the gym do not have a high self esteem

I am quite sure that they will be more than happy to be validated by a woman even though let”s say she is not super attractive

but before doing this ,if I was you I would explore more this fetish for muscular guys . To me it sounds silly that a guy has to be necessary super ripped

 

[christie]

on average guys going to the gym do not have a high self esteem

I am quite sure that they will be more than happy to be validated by a woman even though let”s say she is not super attractive

but before doing this ,if I was you I would explore more this fetish for muscular guys . To me it sounds silly that a guy has to be necessary super ripped

Man, it seems silly to me that a guy can't accept me for who I am currently, as I write this. Now I know I'm overweight just let me continue...

See where we're going with that train of thought?

I am fit healthwise and zero medical issues; I have flexibility and endurance and soft feminine features but I do not meet the clothes size standards of men in the manosphere.
Whom I admire, even if there is very little percentage of serious bodybuilders in the manosphere.

 

[Bigpapa]

Man, it seems silly to me that a guy can't accept me for who I am currently, as I write this. Now I know I'm overweight just let me continue...

See where we're going with that train of thought?

I am fit healthwise and zero medical issues; I have flexibility and endurance and soft feminine features but I do not meet the clothes size standards of men in the manosphere.
Whom I admire, even if there is very little percentage of serious bodybuilders in the manosphere.

Men in the Mano sphere mostly are venting out their frustrations , so I would take with a pinch of salt what most say

what I am trying to say is that maybe it is not about the muscular guys not being into you , maybe it is about that they do not have a high self esteem as you think they have , and that if you really want to date a muscular guy maybe you should be a little bit more aggressive towards them and not waiting for them to make the first step

 

[christie]

Men in the Mano sphere mostly are venting out their frustrations , so I would take with a pinch of salt what most say

what I am trying to say is that maybe it is not about the muscular guys not being into you , maybe it is about that they do not have a high self esteem as you think they have , and that if you really want to date a muscular guy maybe you should be a little bit more aggressive towards them and not waiting for them to make the first step

ok.

You know that one thread in the DJ Bible about meeting your woman before meeting her?

The one about visualising what she is like and what she looks like, how she acts and so on?

So you essentially are very ready by the time she seems to magically appear in your life?
But what was really happening was that you were changing and improving yourself to manifest that destiny.

Your creative visualisation of your future woman prepared you.

I don't remember the title of the thread but I can find it if you want.


Now maybe there's a ceiling whereby I simply cannot get through (ex. I'll never be a commonly agreed upon hb 10 in my lifetime) but why would I impose such a ceiling on myself?

As I think, so shall I become.

And btw, it is incredible the energy burst I got considering for the first time, that it may be me that has to approach the muscleman first.

I know I can do that. I just want to think about it and visualise it awhile longer.

It would make sense that they appear to have a low selfesteem when really its fatigue and hyperfocus on their musclebuilding.

I just have to think about how I can complement THEIR life; how I can be of service to them and what type of companionship I can interest THEM in. "What can I do for you to make your bodybuilding lifestyle more effortless and comfortable?"
Meanwhile, I get to experience that eye candy, that masculinity. I've never felt what abs(6 pack) feels like. I've never known what having a jacked boyfriend(not just plate/orbitor, a real jacked boyfriend in committed 3-5 year relationship or longer if I'm lucky) standing beside me feels like. I've never dated a man that believes in clean eating, no substance use.

Its the body look, feel and lifestyle that accompanies maintenance of such body that I'm after.

 

[Bigpapa]

ok.

You know that one thread in the DJ Bible about meeting your woman before meeting her?

The one about visualising what she is like and what she looks like, how she acts and so on?

So you essentially are very ready by the time she seems to magically appear in your life?
But what was really happening was that you were changing and improving yourself to manifest that destiny.

Your creative visualisation of your future woman prepared you.

I don't remember the title of the thread but I can find it if you want.


Now maybe there's a ceiling whereby I simply cannot get through (ex. I'll never be a commonly agreed upon hb 10 in my lifetime) but why would I impose such a ceiling on myself?

As I think, so shall I become.

And btw, it is incredible the energy burst I got considering for the first time, that it may be me that has to approach the muscleman first.

I know I can do that. I just want to think about it and visualise it awhile longer.

It would make sense that they appear to have a low selfesteem when really its fatigue and hyperfocus on their musclebuilding.

I just have to think about how I can complement THEIR life; how I can be of service to them and what type of companionship I can interest THEM in. "What can I do for you to make your bodybuilding lifestyle more effortless and comfortable?"
Meanwhile, I get to experience that eye candy, that masculinity. I've never felt what abs(6 pack) feels like. I've never known what having a jacked boyfriend(not just plate/orbitor, a real jacked boyfriend in committed 3-5 year relationship or longer if I'm lucky) standing beside me feels like. I've never dated a man that believes in clean eating, no substance use.

Its the body look, feel and lifestyle that accompanies maintenance of such body that I'm after.

it is good that your are honest to yourself

approach them , see how they are , and let”s talk later . I am quite sure that you will change your opinion after a while

as an example , it is quite common for ripped guys like you say to date women who are not as fit as them and stuff like

I know a lot of average women that were dating fitness instructors because they thought that it is cool to date a guy like that

me personally I do not like guys like that because for me it just means that they do not have a lot of things happening in their life since they have so much time to go to the gym

I would not say that they regretted it , but for sure the reality was grimmer than what they were expecting

you have a high probability to get one , so do something about it

 

[christie]

it is good that your are honest to yourself

approach them , see how they are , and let”s talk later . I am quite sure that you will change your opinion after a while

as an example , it is quite common for ripped guys like you say to date women who are not as fit as them and stuff like

I know a lot of average women that were dating fitness instructors because they thought that it is cool to date a guy like that

me personally I do not like guys like that because for me it just means that they do not have a lot of things happening in their life since they have so much time to go to the gym

I would not say that they regretted it , but for sure the reality was grimmer than what they were expecting

you have a high probability to get one , so do something about it

thanks BigPapa, your enthusiasm is much appreciated.
I think I would add to their life, not drag them down.
I am willing to keep changing and improving unlike some of those mean women who are entitled and insist on fat acceptance. I swear I'm not insisting on that. I can keep improving, its the least I can do to get such a prize of a man. I'm not just waiting at the finish line for the winner, I'm running the race too.

 

[christie]

Just watching rollo's video put out today Jan 3, 2021 and it is excellent and honest.
I feel like he gave me a muchneeded social cue reminder and it's this:

I am all for the guy who has a low smv for whatever reason, getting with a girl that has a high smv.

I always thought this was natural knowing how likely a beautiful woman gets actual dates. I have read long time ago that they are typically ignored and or feared by men and women and beautiful women can be some of the loneliest people in the world.

I hope I've never given the impression that I don't cheerlead for the 2.5 to 4s of the male HB scale. I do cheerlead for them and I marvel at their ability to win.

Shows extraordinary skill and healthy ego and will and dominance.
Here's just a screenshot of the video I'm watching. He's a member here on sosuave so I don't know if I have permission to link his video here.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The best way I can think to keep reminding myself is to compare career/weight ratios.

If I had been on welfare/government handouts for the last 24 years but kept a toned, low bodyfat % I would currently have a higher SMV than what I do now with a 'career' and the plumpness.

It is difficult to accept that I worked hard for the wrong priority.

I could have slowed down the aging process, the stress eating, the cortisol fat buildup from shiftwork, the selfneglect by eating junkfood if I would have just accepted free handouts but stayed exercising and careful calorie counting and proper rest and had lack of ambition and worry.

One of the dating sites used to have a question on your level of ambition and a woman always seems to think she's impressing a man in 2021, by showing him what she's accomplished in her working career.

It impresses men more how much of your tight, youthful looks you've kept and your lack of job competitiveness.
Being available and at home for when a man needs you to conform to his schedule is way more attractive.

Even if I didn't use the welfare example but say, I still lived at home for free all these past years I spent working, I may have been able to retain more youthfulness and fitter body.

When the wall hits, it is stunning to think about how differently I could have been living and possibly been judged having a better SMV, not worse.

I thought I was being a good person by doing what I did. Being accountable and responsible.

I'm smiling as I write this. I'm past red pill rage stage. I just thought it important to write the comparison out.

Its true right?
If I had been on welfare, relaxing at home, keeping a stressfree life while working hard on my tight figure, my SMV would probably be higher than it is now?

I think I heard Owen Cook say in a recorded seminar that he was exasperated by people making snide comments about his plumpness/aging as he was frustrated the detractors didn't get how hard he was working and how little time/energy he had to take care of his SMV.

I get him.
I understood.

So now that one knows, it becomes easy. Work on career less. Work on weight/fitness and lowering stress levels to look younger and healthier more.

Simple!

Them "complying " will become less and less until it's just not done anymore...