“Can you act like you love me?”

[Becky Dee]

I was with my FWB last night and we got a little drunk. We’ve been doing this since late May/June btw. He was holding my hand while in the Uber ride home. We start making out (fully clothed btw) and then he turns to me, looks at me and says, ( I can’t remember if he said just love or in love) “can you just act like you love me for the next few minutes?”. It really threw me off and because we were drunk I thought I heard him incorrectly so I repeated it back to him. He said it again.

Backstory:

We were doing things like going to the beach with his sister, mini golf, picnics, took me out for my bday etc. so I decided to have a talk about what was going on if I’m hanging around his family because the lines seemed to have gotten a little blurred. He said because his life was unstable (he was living out of his car when he was living on the other coast) and he was going to go back. He said he wouldn’t want to put me through the uncertainty of his life because his life is so unstable right now, when I on the other hand have everything grounded. He said it wasn’t about sex for him but we agreed to keep it casual. Which I was cool with because I had gotten of a LTR before this. Then 2 months later he said he liked me a lot and said he didn’t want casual.

Sooo why did he ask for me to act like I loved him? Did he just request for me to act like I love him for an ego stroke? It just seems very odd...

 

[Georgepithyou]

What do you mean he? Your both guys?

 

[Kotaix]

It's pretty obvious he's developed feelings for you and he knows he's not on the same page as you. I very much doubt that it has to do with his ego unless you know him to have a large ego.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Judging by what you've written, he sounds a bit conflicted... but in a 'stand up guy' sort of way.
Do you like him? You don't have to openly answer this, but it's something to think about.

I suspect that he doesn't want the guilt of thinking that he's 'responsible' if he feels that he'd be a liability (rather than an asset) in your life... but at the same time, he's probably having difficulty denying that he has feelings for you. I suspect that he's probably hoping that you'll show some initiative toward him. This way, he doesn't feel as if he's "led you down a path."

 

[r4zorsharp]

He's testing to see if you really love him or not. Simple as that. He may feel like you don't. and that's no good because eventually he might just nose around with other women, or might feel insecure causing other issues in the relationship.

 

[Becky Dee]

Judging by what you've written, he sounds a bit conflicted... but in a 'stand up guy' sort of way.
Do you like him? You don't have to openly answer this, but it's something to think about.

I suspect that he doesn't want the guilt of thinking that he's 'responsible' if he feels that he'd be a liability (rather than an asset) in your life... but at the same time, he's probably having difficulty denying that he has feelings for you. I suspect that he's probably hoping that you'll show some initiative toward him. This way, he doesn't feel as if he's "led you down a path."

hmmm I think you’re spot on. He’s a decent guy so I think he knows he wouldn’t be an asset. I just got a raise and a promotion at my job.

So it’s not an ego stroke, why ask me to “love him” for a few minutes? Is he projecting that he loves me? Idk it’s just so weird lol.

 

[r4zorsharp]

hmmm I think you’re spot on. He’s a decent guy so I think he knows he wouldn’t be an asset. I just got a raise and a promotion at my job.

So it’s not an ego stroke, why ask me to “love him” for a few minutes? Is he projecting that he loves me? Idk it’s just so weird lol.

To add to what i said earlier, it seems he's asking you if you are capable of loving him. Maybe he feels unloved, maybe he doesn't feel worthy due to his circumstances.. Maybe he assumes automatically you are only in it for the casual fun and don't really see him for more than that.

 

[Black Widow Void]

hmmm I think you’re spot on. He’s a decent guy so I think he knows he wouldn’t be an asset. I just got a raise and a promotion at my job.
So it’s not an ego stroke, why ask me to “love him” for a few minutes? Is he projecting that he loves me? Idk it’s just so weird lol.

If you're not into him, I wouldn't advise playing along with the role that he suggested. In your original posting, you spoke about him "blurring the lines." It sounds like it's up to you to (hopefully tactfully) create some boundaries.

As to your above question, I had an FWB that I suspected also liked me. One night after a party (having a few drinks) I had my arm around her in the car and was playing with her hair. After we parked at my house (getting ready for the deed) .... she told me that this was confusing her because I was not acting like a friend. This was wrong of me because to be honest, I was not interested beyond FWB and basically blurred the lines - due to having several drinks. In other words, I'd hate for him to experience what I (drunkingly) did to this girl.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You know, you’d expect something like this to be common sense, especially for a chick.

Yes he likes you. Not solely because you’re just that great and wonderful, but I’d reckon a lot of it has to do with the instability in his life. It’s probably giving him a lot of stress right now and you’re one of his only escapes from it all, so he’s inadvertently latching on to you.

Dude couldn’t keep his feelings in his pants and now he’s paying the price for it, smh....

 

[Becky Dee]

You know, you’d expect something like this to be common sense, especially for a chick.

Yes he likes you. Not solely because you’re just that great and wonderful, but I’d reckon a lot of it has to do with the instability in his life. It’s probably giving him a lot of stress right now and you’re one of his only escapes from it all, so he’s inadvertently latching on to you.

Dude couldn’t keep his feelings in his pants and now he’s paying the price for it, smh....

im not that dense lol. I know he likes me, I’m just thrown off by him requesting to act like I love him. I could see if he said act like you like me, but love? I thought he just used the L-word for an ego stroke.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Lmao I’m just saying

But anyway, “like” doesn’t really cut it since both of you already like each other. FWB is a step up above ****buddies so “like” is meh.

I have a feeling that you’re not making this thread because you’re actually wondering why he said it, but rather what to do about it because he’s a great guy and good for a fun romp, but he isn’t boyfriend material because you don’t want to babysit him and especially since you make more money than him, you’d feel like he’d be weighing you down. The only reason why he’d say “can you act like you love me” is because he either likes you, or because he thought it’d be hot in that moment if you did (which I don’t think is the case or else you’d have interpreted it that way too). Why don’t you just pull away for a bit and see if he takes the hint? If not, either talk to him and tell him that you’re both on different paths in life right now and that you don’t think you and him would mesh well because of it so you’d rather keep things casual for now (or ask him to be your bf if that’s what you want instead).

 

[vanballmoos]

Lmao I’m just saying

But anyway, “like” doesn’t really cut it since both of you already like each other. FWB is a step up above ****buddies so “like” is meh.

I have a feeling that you’re not making this thread because you’re actually wondering why he said it, but rather what to do about it because he’s a great guy and good for a fun romp, but he isn’t boyfriend material because you don’t want to babysit him and especially since you make more money than him, you’d feel like he’d be weighing you down. The only reason why he’d say “can you act like you love me” is because he either likes you, or because he thought it’d be hot in that moment if you did (which I don’t think is the case or else you’d have interpreted it that way too). Why don’t you just pull away for a bit and see if he takes the hint? If not, either talk to him and tell him that you’re both on different paths in life right now and that you don’t think you and him would mesh well because of it so you’d rather keep things casual for now (or ask him to be your bf if that’s what you want instead).

he loves her.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

he loves her.

Wow, you’re right. I totally didn’t realize that. Where ever would I be without your knowledge, oh wise one

 

[vanballmoos]

Wow, you’re right. I totally didn’t realize that. Where ever would I be without your knowledge, oh wise one

Ha. Nah, really tho he does, right? I don’t have much experience so maybe I’m wrong.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

im not that dense lol. I know he likes me, I’m just thrown off by him requesting to act like I love him. I could see if he said act like you like me, but love? I thought he just used the L-word for an ego stroke.

Probably saying he feels like your closed off.

 

[Billtx49]

Ha. Nah, really tho he does, right? I don’t have much experience so maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe you have enlightenment that no one else has…
Thread Closed