Was this a **** Test?

[B80]

Hey,

Been seeing a woman for over 2 months, went away with her last weekend.

At one point, whilst we were drunk, she said 'you provide me entertainment... for now anyway'.

I was a bit drunk and just looked her in the eye and said nothing. The subject moved on.

Next night we were a watching a film and she made a comment about an actor in the film saying something like 'he can cry on my shoulder any time, then his head can go down further, further...'. We looked at each other, I just raised my eyebrow and held eye contact. She immediately apologized and said she was just joking. Thought it was a bit of a disrespectful thing to say, but aware of not getting funny, lashing out. Maybe could have amplified but I wasn;t really quick-witted at the time for one reason or another.

Rest of the trip went well, she complimented me a fair bit: great sex, well-endowed (above average, nothing special in reality ), funny, easy to get along with, feels really comfortable with me etc and started talking about starting day trips with our kids down the line.

I turned it on her the next day and started making jokey remarks to her about the cabin being nice, shame about the company etc Things like that, which seemed to get her going (in a positive way).

Generally things have been moving well, but those comments bugged me slightly, despite feeling like they were dealt with ok at the time. Are those kind of things ;**** tests' or more insight that she's a bit a ****?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

You would know the answer to that better than anyone, we're only going off your account. We don't know the tone or other aspects of the convos.

Sounds to me like she's testing the waters to see what she can get away with or is otherwise a bit too comfortable and aloof with you. As in she thinks she has you on a string, or likes to pretend she does. Usually I'll escalate and amplify for crap like you've described as a subtle check.

'you provide me entertainment, for now anyway'
"Yeah I could leave right now couldn't I?"

'he can cry on my shoulder any time, then his head can go down further, further...'
*Point to cute actress in the movie "if you see her tell her I want to get up in her guts."

If she gets pissy I'd tease her for dishing it out but not being able to take it. She'd either learn to be actively respectful and sweet or fail my shiit test and be dismissed.

Silence like you did can work too, not personally my style though.

 

[B80]

You would know the answer to that better than anyone, we're only going off your account. We don't know the tone or other aspects of the convos.

Sounds to me like she's testing the waters to see what she can get away with or is otherwise a bit too comfortable and aloof with you. As in she thinks she has you on a string, or likes to pretend she does. Usually I'll escalate and amplify for crap like you've described as a subtle check.

'you provide me entertainment, for now anyway'
"Yeah I could leave right now couldn't I?"

'he can cry on my shoulder any time, then his head can go down further, further...'
*Point to cute actress in the movie "if you see her tell her I want to get up in her guts."

If she gets pissy I'd tease her for dishing it out but not being able to take it. She'd either learn to be actively respectful and sweet or fail my shiit test and be dismissed.

Silence like you did can work too, not personally my style though.

cheers mate. we're meeting up later in the week and i'll make a comment or two when we're watching tv to see how she reacts.

I always feel like I haven't put something to rest unless I come back with something, if I go silent on these kind of things, feels like someone has gotten one over me.

like I said I did make a couple of jabs/comments to her over the weekend and they seemed to go down well.

I'm generally laid back, but not a pushover. just find stuff like this a bit rude/unnecessary, but I guess its part of the game with the dating.

 

[B80]

I've concluded that whoever invented the term "Shiat Test" was NOT thinking like a DJ.

This whole "shiat test" theory has done a disservice to a multitude of aspiring DJs.

I advise you to never waste a minute of your time wondering if they're testing you.

There's nothing beneficial in acknowledging/analyzing/questioning a woman's expectations.

ok, how would you react/interpret this kind of comments? or would you just completely ignore them and carry on with the woman, not caring at all?

 

[darksprezzatura]

It's probably nothing, but tread carefully.

Sh!t tests are one thing, but dread game is like a nuclear sh!t test mentally stable women don't use on guys they like.

Some women are experts at triangulation.

I'd pass these dumb ploys, blow my load and hit the road.

Women who use dread game verbally back on a guy have proven to be nothing more than a headache.

 

[B80]

It's probably nothing, but tread carefully.

Sh!t tests are one thing, but dread game is like a nuclear sh!t test mentally stable women don't use on guys they like.

Some women are experts at triangulation.

I'd pass these dumb ploys, blow my load and hit the road.

Women who use dread game verbally back on a guy have proven to be nothing more than a headache.

Yeah did cross my mind. There are certainly a few red flags: single mum (divorced), smokes, drinks a fair bit, bad relationship with total loser/nutter of an ex, has a really high powered job for her age.

Good fun to be around, but sense there could be something not quite right in her head, but bizarrely I'm really drawn to her.

In fact she's just messaged me about being up for trying out pretty much anything sexually together, apart from anal, lol.

 

[B80]

My gut tells me it's best to never react, etc. Don't even try to understand or "pass" their tests.

I'm convinced that "high-value" men never bend over backwards trying to interpret/pass "shiat tests." They have other women to focus on, so they can simply walk away when women start to play such games.

Cheers. I was under the impression most women perform sh1t tests to one degree or another. Kind of wired into them to test the men that come into their lives.

 

[derby1]

Cheers. I was under the impression most women perform sh1t tests to one degree or another. Kind of wired into them to test the men that come into their lives.

theres a difference between testing a mans masculine core, and speaking like an immature 8 year old to him. who doesnt watch what comes out of her mouth.

Shes showing you how immature she is, watch more carefully young sir.

heres your reply for future events and use it one time only.

"A quick way into your pants isnt a fast track into MY LIFE"

 

[Apa-thy]

I wouldn't play her game. You have to be smart enough to cut the sh!t immediately.
otherwise it’ll become a snowball effect and you will be telling stupid comments back and forward.

I would look directly to her eyes with a smirk on my face and say “wow” or “ok”... Meaning: You say dumb sht.. And keep the conversation like nothing happened. Not looking offended or mad… just like when you hear something stupid and you don’t care. She’ll think twice before saying something like that again.

 

[B80]

I wouldn't play her game. You have to be smart enough to cut the sh!t immediately.
otherwise it’ll become a snowball effect and you will be telling stupid comments back and forward.

I would look directly to her eyes with a smirk on my face and say “wow” or “ok”... Meaning: You say dumb sht.. And keep the conversation like nothing happened. Not looking offended or mad… just like when you hear something stupid and you don’t care. She’ll think twice before saying something like that again.

yeah fair point, more my preferred approach and aligns with my character/personality as I don't really want to be in a relationship where we go back and forth with these comments in some kind of weird power/dominance battle, as in some ways its almost endorsing they're acceptable if I start down that road too and it's probably a game she's used to playing.

 

[Kotaix]

At one point, whilst we were drunk, she said 'you provide me entertainment... for now anyway'.

I don't think this was a sh!t test.

In my experience, there are moments when a woman will be 100% honest with you, and they will usually blurt it out as you experienced. You might think it's nothing, but it's her telling you what you need to hear. Other ones I've heard before are "You're too good for me" or "I'm kinda crazy, you should stay away from me". There are times I've listened and dodged a bullut, and times where I haven't listened and eventually paid the price.

Yeah did cross my mind. There are certainly a few red flags: single mum (divorced), smokes, drinks a fair bit, bad relationship with total loser/nutter of an ex, has a really high powered job for her age.

Good fun to be around, but sense there could be something not quite right in her head, but bizarrely I'm really drawn to her.

She sounds like bad pie to me. Is the loser/nutter the father of her child? You should listen to your intuition and not your ego.

I would not get into any kind of LTR with her.

 

[B80]

I don't think this was a sh!t test.

In my experience, there are moments when a woman will be 100% honest with you, and they will usually blurt it out as you experienced. You might think it's nothing, but it's her telling you what you need to hear. Other ones I've heard before are "You're too good for me" or "I'm kinda crazy, you should stay away from me". There are times I've listened and dodged a bullut, and times where I haven't listened and eventually paid the price.


She sounds like bad pie to me. Is the loser/nutter the father of her child? You should listen to your intuition and not your ego.

I would not get into any kind of LTR with her.

Could be, but doesn't tie in with attention she is giving me each day via texts and then compliments me, clearly enjoying sex, get on well, always have fun/laugh etc.

I think thats what's unsettled me a bit with the comments, doesn;t make sense.

Yes he is the father of the child. Honestly, since we've been dating, there's been some drama pretty much at least once a week involving him which has effected child care arrangements. Car breaking down, key snapping in car ignition, house catching fire, involved in an assault with a cyclist, had several jobs after being fired etc. And that's just some of the issues. Wonder why she was with him best part of 10 years really. Makes me question what's going on in her mind really, what her outlook/expectation of men actually is.

 

[Lookatu]

An easy way to think about it is what would your reaction be if a mouse could talk to you and would tell you it would kick your azz. You'd just laugh in it's face and think how ridiculous it would be and be far from being bothered or threatened by that statement. That's the kind of mentality you have to have with these women.

But once you feel any ounce of game playing and/or disrespect, immediately downgrade them to plate material only. And when you do have sex, angry fvck them really rough. Choke and spank them too if they get into that.

 

[derby1]

I think thats what's unsettled me a bit with the comments, doesn;t make sense.

it makes perfect sense, ive already said shes an immature woman, no masculine guidance in her life, and never been rejected by society. I hadnt even read the part about letting a loser near her ovaries.

shes good at killing arousal and selecting terrible quality men.

do you think a woman of substance behaves and talks this way?

the reason she is all over you, is because she knows her SMV is lower than shark ****.... and she knows yours is 3 points higher, so shes trying to negotiate a good deal

 

[B80]

An easy way to think about it is what would your reaction be if a mouse could talk to you and would tell you it would kick your azz. You'd just laugh in it's face and think how ridiculous it would be and be far from being bothered or threatened by that statement. That's the kind of mentality you have to have with these women.

But once you feel any ounce of game playing and/or disrespect, immediately downgrade them to plate material only. And when you do have sex, angry fvck them really rough. Choke and spank them too if they get into that.

Good way of framing it. I'll try, but if honest probably have a bit of 'oneitis' here so trying to convince myself there's nothing to the comments.

 

[derby1]

but if honest probably have a bit of 'oneitis'

oneitis for a drunk single mom with chaos and drama,who makes immature quotes that would kill any high quality mans libido.

And has some interfering criminal boyfriend

I wish you well OP, pain purifies souls.

 

[B80]

it makes perfect sense, ive already said shes an immature woman, no masculine guidance in her life, and never been rejected by society. I hadnt even read the part about letting a loser near her ovaries.

shes good at killing arousal and selecting terrible quality men.

do you think a woman of substance behaves and talks this way?

the reason she is all over you, is because she knows her SMV is lower than shark ****.... and she knows yours is 3 points higher, so shes trying to negotiate a good deal

A female friend of mine suggested similar to your last paragraph.

This woman im seeing knows i have a successful business, finacially in a good place through my lifestyle/housing situation, single digit body fat as lift weights 5 or 6 times a week etc so maybe a bit insecure and trying to play games to knock me down a peg or two ??

Seems a bit weird to me though.

 

[B80]

oneitis for a drunk single mom with chaos and drama,who makes immature quotes that would kill any high quality mans libido.

And has some interfering criminal boyfriend

I wish you well OP, pain purifies souls.

Yeah despite my last post, a bit out of the game with women last few years after divorce and putting all my energy into daughter, business and weights.

I really like her, we generally get on so well. Trying to overlook the accumulating red flags.

 

[Kotaix]

Could be, but doesn't tie in with attention she is giving me each day via texts and then compliments me, clearly enjoying sex, get on well, always have fun/laugh etc.

I think thats what's unsettled me a bit with the comments, doesn;t make sense.

What she told you makes perfect sense, it's just doesn't jive with the rosy picture that you made up in your head (which I'm sorry to say is a delusion). She's having fun with you but she doesn't actually give a crap about you deep down because she knows that either you aren't going to stick around if you're smart; or she's going to dump you if/when you get clingy. That's assuming she has some integrity left and doesn't use you until she's bled you dry or you say enough.

She's a single mother: her child comes first, then her loser criminal of an ex, and then you. He's the father of her child, he's going to stay in the picture and the child is likely to grow up to be a piece of trash just like it's father. This is a best-case scenario too where the loser ex doesn't get in your face or try and rob you because he's envious of your success.

Stop trying to be Captain save-a-ho.

I think you and her might have been great together if she didn't have a kid and wasn't saddled with so much baggage, but you're probably headed towards a lot of pain as derby said.

 

[derby1]

single digit body fat as lift weights 5 or 6 times a week etc so maybe a bit insecure and trying to play games to knock me down a peg or two ??

no, she trying to turn you into a beta provider..

OP let me give you a scenario, a woman i know 38 years old, HOT but VILE personality. Most local men were aware and stayed far away.

then suddenly a 25 year old lad started to date her(not aware of his own SMV), the woman suddenly became(acted) feminine overnight. even though the real her is vile. Theyve been together a year now, but my point is she still behaves like this virtuous virgin..

she literally fooled him into thinking he was getting a deal. see how good they are at all this? hes basically swapped an aston martin for a nissan micra. hes now miserable and drinking heavy as they have a house together...

Women know their SMV on a primal level, there well aware of the transaction. they also know men will fold for a regular supply of Vag.

dont be that guy