So first thing that came to mind when I read that is exactly what
@CoandaEffect said. Upper leg is a bit too much too soon. Think about places you'd be comfortable touching another man - the LEAST sexual areas: Shoulder, back of the elbow, maybe grabbing the forearm when laughing at a hilarious joke. Start there and gauge reaction. Then move on to areas you'd not touch a man, but aren't THAT sexual, such as the small of her lower back (as you are guiding her to walk somewhere). Then the knee. Then move on to the most sexual areas which are her upper leg, neck, hair, hip. You don't have to do all these in one date, and you don't have to be Mr Handsy either. Sometimes just a couple touches spaced out over the course of the date is just the right amount. But the more receptive she is, the more you can touch. But again, even if she is receptive, you don't want to be just pawing at her non-stop. A few escalating touches spaced out over the course of the date to gauge her interest, and if she is receptive, you go for the kiss at the right time. ALWAYS go for the kiss on the first date unless she was resistant to ALL of your touches.
I don't think your idea of "really going for it" is good. Based on previous results of your touching, if you touch more, she's likely going to push you away even more or just end the date and leave. She's already made it pretty clear what she wants.
I don't know if I believe that "Good Girls" are a myth..... that ALL girls will drop their panties on the first date for the RIGHT guy. There are a number of young girls who have limited or no experience with guys, and due to their personal nature (and often religious upbringing and family and friends), simply haven't blossomed sexually. They don't know what they are missing, and since they don't, sex is not of any value to them yet. They are sexually repressed. Often they are too uptight about sex to really enjoy it or provide you with any satisfaction in bed, and you want to work on them for how long to get to this point? These are the girls who lay their like a dead fish and show zero emotion while you pound away and when you try to get them off with your hands or by going down on them, they tell you it doesn't really do anything for them. They just lay there and hope for it to be over ASAP.
You just have to decide how much time and energy you want to invest in them for the CHANCE that they decide to give up the goodies or enter a relationship with you (if the latter is what you're looking for), and in this decision you have to evaluate just how good she will really be if you actually "catch" her, and also be realistic that the ODDS are nothing will come of her and you despite the time you spent on her.
I don't expect a girl to give it up on the first date (though I will ALWAYS try because in my early blue pill dating days, I actually LOST opportunities with women because I didn't try to bang them by the second date and when I called them for a third date they said, "Hey, you are really great guy and really attractive but I'm getting relationship vibes from you and that's just now what I'm looking for right now" - Can you say face-palm?). I feel the third date is a good target, but to
@LARaiders85 point, what I'm really looking for more than a deadline for sex is escalation and progress toward sex. For the right girl, who was really hot, seemed to be old-fashioned, relatively inexperienced, I'd go 2-3 months in non-exclusive dating so long as there was consistent escalation. About a year ago I found a girl just like this at the grocery store. I approached her and we really kicked it off and had a lot in common. She was just 23, and just moved here from a rural area to go to college. SUPER old fashioned and went to church twice a week, but claimed that she was ok with sex before marriage because she had one sexual partner before and she wasn't a virgin, BUT, she "wanted to take things really slow." That sounded reasonable to me given the circumstances. By the second date I went for the kiss and she did kiss me, but only a couple quick pecks. By the third or fourth date she would open-mouth kiss me but wouldn't use her tongue even if I did. Over the next month or two, we would cuddle on the couch and I got to the point where we would be watching a movie and I'd have my hand on her inner thigh resting right up against her vajayjay, but I wouldn't rub it, and I would also sometimes have my arm around her shoulders with my hand draped down the front of her resting on her breast. She didn't seem uncomfortable by any of it. But what I just described is as far as I ever made it with her. She still wouldn't make out with me using her tongue, and when I invited her to go camping with me she said she wasn't willing to go because she was worried I might expect sex from her. I got the sense too that she didn't even really enjoy the tongueless kissing and was only doing it for me because she knew it was "expected". The final straw was when I took her out to a really nice dinner at a restaurant that catered to her diet to celebrate her passing her exams, when I dropped her off at her apartment and went for the kiss, she just gave me a peck. I left my face in her face and didn't pull away like, "Really, that's all you're going to give me," and she went back in for a 2 second open mouth kiss with no tongue. I realized I was done at that point. Wasted time and effort. Had the progress continued, I would have kept going, but it didn't. Not going to sink 6+ months into a girl who may be asexual, not truly into me, or just lonely.
I share the story only to show you what will often happen with these types of girls. BUT, not all girls are the same. I'd give another old-fashioned girl a chance for sure, but I would follow the same model as above and have the same expectations.
