Research shows that relationships that start online are stronger and last longer than in person ones

[BackInTheGame78]

OLD is not the place to find a healthy relationship With a respectable woman

Based on what? Your experiences with relatively small sample sizes? A bunch of hearsay from the
Peanut gallery??

 

[Kotaix]

You can make some pretty amazing connections online. People that are truly compatible will hit it off because you get to know WHO someone is before you really get to see them in person.

The problem is that long distance is a complete waste of time, unless you both take active steps and make sacrifices to make it work in person ASAP, then there is no point in continuing down this path.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You can make some pretty amazing connections online. People that are truly compatible will hit it off because you get to know WHO someone is before you really get to see them in person.

The problem is that long distance is a complete waste of time, unless you both take active steps and make sacrifices to make it work in person ASAP, then there is no point in continuing down this path.

I have no idea why a lot of guys seem to think that you need to talk and message for long periods of time before meeting up. You don't. Most women will exchange numbers and be willing to meet up within a few messages back and forth.

A guy should easily be able to spend less than a week from first message to date in the vast majority of cases. If not, whatever method they are using is very flawed.

 

[Lookatu]

I have no idea why a lot of guys seem to think that you need to talk and message for long periods of time before meeting up. You don't. Most women will exchange numbers and be willing to meet up within a few messages back and forth.

A guy should easily be able to spend less than a week from first message to date in the vast majority of cases. If not, whatever method they are using is very flawed.

I agree.

Messaging or talking should only be kept to a minimum to establish enough comfort for her to meet up with you(once again, used merely as an introduction tool). Texting/talking can only go so far and can never replace real life chemistry. Real life IMO is the most efficient way to screen someone from both sides. Either side will know within the first couple minutes if there is going to be any possiblities or potential or not, to move forward.

Compare that with excellent texting chemistry only to find out the real life chemistry isn't there. Now you've wasted so much of your time texting back and forth for no results. It's highly inefficient in my books. I don't have that kind of time to waste. Maybe if I was in my 20's...

 

[Kotaix]

I have no idea why a lot of guys seem to think that you need to talk and message for long periods of time before meeting up. You don't. Most women will exchange numbers and be willing to meet up within a few messages back and forth.

A guy should easily be able to spend less than a week from first message to date in the vast majority of cases. If not, whatever method they are using is very flawed.

You don't need to message for long periods of time before meeting up, and you're right on that. You shouldn't. However circumstances may dictate that it happens that way.

There is a difference between meeting a woman who is on OLD who lives miles away from you and one who lives far away from you.

A close friend of mine met his wife over tinder half a world away. They're now married and quite happy it seems.

That being said, I don't even use OLD anymore, the women that use it are of poorer quality than those who don't.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You don't need to message for long periods of time before meeting up, and you're right on that. You shouldn't. However circumstances may dictate that it happens that way.

There is a difference between meeting a woman who is on OLD who lives miles away from you and one who lives far away from you.

A close friend of mine met his wife over tinder half a world away. They're now married and quite happy it seems.

That being said, I don't even use OLD anymore, the women that use it are of poorer quality than those who don't.

The percentage of women who don't is pretty low. You only believe they aren't on those sites because you didn't meet them there.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Seems legit in my life. Did Tinder & it was very rewarding.

 

[SW15]

2) people who create relationships online have more general social anxiety that people who get together socially. So once they find themselves in a relationship, they're more likely to hang on for dear life.

I see this as true.

And once you hit mid 30s social circles really start to disappear as a means for that as more and more of their friends are now married.

That's been my experience with social circles. I've never had a good one, even when I was younger, which is mostly attributable to frequent moving during childhood and early adulthood.

I've been in the same city 9 years now and my social circle isn't that spectacular. I'm 37 now.

My cousin got divorced as a 37 year old a few years back. He had no problems dating. He had been in the same relationship for 10+ years. Swipe apps didn't exist when he met that woman. Website dating had been around. He met that wife through his social circle as a 25 year old. Fast forward 12 years and he's 37, childless, and has a solid job, which he didn't have at 25. He did not bother to use the swipe apps a few years ago and he was able to date through his social circle. Women in his social circle heard about his now ex filing for divorce and they were coming out of the woodwork to pitch themselves to him. He got exclusive with some woman some of his male friends knew likely before the divorce papers were signed and he was re-married with 20 months of his divorce being finalized. His social circle was so strong because he had lived in a mid-size metro his whole life with the exception of going to college somewhere that was a few hours away from this metro.

Relocations are the worst thing for social circles, especially earlier in life relocations.

OLD and social media has made women far pickier than what they'd be if you went back even just 10-20 years ago. Ironically, it's actually been more difficult for people to meet each other. As a man, me trying to find what I'm looking for chances are I'm not going to see it on a dating app or OLD site, and if I did I'd be one of hundreds of men trying to make anything come of it. It's not just what you see on OLD but also the numbers game, as women literally are going to have hundreds of men contacting them. Unless you have some sort of celebrity status, or pretend celebrity status, it's going to be an uphill battle.

Also, I've seen plenty of evidence that shows that women's standards and ideas of leagues have been very warped by this. I've had a woman point out a very overweight and unattractive woman and ask if I'd go for that, to which I responded "Why would a man who is 6'4" and in really good shape go for a woman like that?" and her response was "You are going to be alone for a while". I've seen a few instances where other women would say a fat woman was not fat and that she should be getting a hot ripped guy. It's not just OLD and men that are creating this but other women are part of the problem as well.

Agree on websites first and later swipe apps raising women's pickiness inordinately.

Messaging or talking should only be kept to a minimum to establish enough comfort for her to meet up with you(once again, used merely as an introduction tool). Texting/talking can only go so far and can never replace real life chemistry. Real life IMO is the most efficient way to screen someone from both sides. Either side will know within the first couple minutes if there is going to be any possiblities or potential or not, to move forward.

Agree that real life is more efficient because there is no substitute for the in-person experience. Additionally, people would still prefer to meet in real life. It's a huge let down when there's a ton of swiping and texting for a real life date that falls flat.

The best thing that meeting in-person can do is to prevent bad dates from ever happening. A 5 minute chat in-person can determine goodness of fit for a date. If that approach chat doesn't work, you've saved yourself the emotional energy of swiping, texting, and buying a woman drinks in a bar or now on a patio.

Most people will source more dates on swipe apps than in real life, but they are mostly sourcing garbage dates that go nowhere.

 

[r4zorsharp]

It's important to note that this is separate from the success rate of finding a relationship in the first place, that's rather low. It makes sense that the relationships that do occur will on average be better. People are more picky and will more easily next when using online dating, it takes a much better match to consider a relationship. Going through a larger volume of people obviously increases the chance of finding someone compatible.

Dating IRL only takes more time and effort, you won't go through a large volume and might be tempted to settle for less than if you checked out more people.

Great points. Often the relationships that work the best when it comes to online dating are the ones where people spend an adequate amount of time getting to know one another. So couple that with knowing what you want and what you dont, and narrowing down your matches well and it makes sense.

OLD is not the place to find a healthy relationship With a respectable woman

Not all online dating is the same.