Fvcked up post date interaction...best way to salvage?

[Atom Smasher]

2 hours or so. We went for ice cream after the hike.

Two hours is good. That’s not the problem.

Is this a girl who you feel you could have had chemistry with, or do you know deep down the chemistry just wouldn’t be right for the long haul?

 

[Atom Smasher]

The big question after any first date is, Does she walk away feeling like she’s being evaluated, or does she walk away knowing she has you in the palm of your hand?

I can’t stress enough... Women cannot date their “equal” or someone they consider below them. They can only be happy with a man whom they can look up to. Else they cannot submit and let go.

Words to live by:
“Flip that script. Be superior to her!”

Far from being a turn-off, this is a huge turn-on for women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you were then you wouldn't be in this situation. Learn the ignore text. Cant have great text game and throw yourself on the dinner plate as @Atom Smasher put it. Just my read on your vibe bro.

Maybe they are picking up on this?

No...I AM exceptional at getting them from initial text to the first date. I struggle post first date. Huge difference in strategy after initial meet up.

 

[7onriverI f]

No...I AM exceptional at getting them from initial text to the first date. I struggle post first date. Huge difference in strategy after initial meet up.

Have dates with multiple girls at the same time. Just invite more than 1.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Two hours is good. That’s not the problem.

Is this a girl who you feel you could have had chemistry with, or do you know deep down the chemistry just wouldn’t be right for the long haul?

No I think we do have some chemistry...I mean SHE initiated some of the touching and ass grabbing and kissing in the date. I made the first move after we picked the apple and were walking back I stroked her hair and told it looked so soft but I joked I didn't want to ruin it and she smiled and said "That's OK you can keep doing it." so I just moved closer and kissed her and then she kept it going...

Said she wasn't expecting a kiss on the first date but she liked it then grabbed my hand and interlaced her fingers with mine and kept it there about 10 minutes. Maybe I should have jokingly pulled it away and told her to settle down

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Don’t forget the basics too. Breath good? Hygiene in order? It starts there.

Yeah I chew Big Red no issues there hahaha. Hygiene is good, deodorant and a quality cologne I get compliments on a lot.

 

[Atom Smasher]

No I think we do have some chemistry...I mean SHE initiated some of the touching and ass grabbing and kissing in the date. I made the first move after we picked the apple and were walking back I stroked her hair and told it looked so soft but I joked I didn't want to ruin it and she smiled and said "That's OK you can keep doing it." so I just moved closer and kissed her and then she kept it going...

Said she wasn't expecting a kiss on the first date but she liked it then grabbed my hand and interlaced her fingers with mine and kept it there about 10 minutes. Maybe I should have jokingly pulled it away and told her to settle down

That would have been a good move.

At any rate, there are subtle ways to let women know they are being evaluated. Your example being one of them. Telling her “That cost you some points” is another. Then adding some “points” later when she does something positive.

Think about it from a woman’s point of view. She goes out with a man, she knows he’s all-in. She now already knows the end of the “movie”. Why watch it? She wants the drama of wondering what’s going to happen. Since it is natural for a woman to submit to a man, she wants him to flip the script and she wants to work for his acceptance. Most dating is just the opposite. She already knows she is judge, jury, and executioner.

It really is vital for a woman to have mystery. Unlike men, who are just the opposite, women thrill to the thought of “I wonder if he really likes me”. That is their drug of preference.

 

[Atom Smasher]

If you did in fact send that text I recommended, now YOU are the judge, jury, and executioner. If she doesn’t reply, there is nothing more you need to know. If she does, maybe run it by us here before replying. It’s possible, though not certain, that we might have some good ideas to kick around with you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You’re way too eager OP.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That would have been a good move.

At any rate, there are subtle ways to let women know they are being evaluated. Your example being one of them. Telling her “That cost you some points” is another. Then adding some “points” later when she does something positive.

Think about it from a woman’s point of view. She goes out with a man, she knows he’s all-in. She now already knows the end of the “movie”. Why watch it? She wants the drama of wondering what’s going to happen. Since it is natural for a woman to submit to a man, she wants him to flip the script and she wants to work for his acceptance. Most dating is just the opposite. She already knows she is judge, jury, and executioner.

It really is vital for a woman to have mystery. Unlike men, who are just the opposite, women thrill to the thought of “I wonder if he really likes me”. That is their drug of preference.

I kind of feel I vascillate between the two extremes...either too far with not making moves or making too many moves too soon...almost like if this one thing is good then I need to keep doing it instead of just pulling back a little and making her work for me to do it again...

 

[Atom Smasher]

I kind of feel I vascillate between the two extremes...either too far with not making moves or making too many moves too soon...almost like if this one thing is good then I need to keep doing it instead of just pulling back a little and making her work for me to do it again...

You seem to have a good handle on what’s happening. You’re well-poised to refine your push/pull and start hooking ‘em.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You seem to have a good handle on what’s happening. You’re well-poised to refine your push/pull and start hooking ‘em.

Have 6 dates this week with new women, time to implement this better.

 

[7onriverI f]

bro communicate with the girl more. Tell her not to be fake and pretend to like you and ask her what she likes. This is in the bedroom as well. Ask her what she likes. tell her you would like to spend time with her.

 

[Lookatu]

I have a full slate of dates again with new women this week. But I am tired of going on first dates that don't lead to anything. I am phenomenal at getting women to meet up, have gotten makeouts the last 3 dates, but no second dates with all the women giving me some version of "not 100% feeling it"/"not enough spark"...

First off, you gotta control your short fuse. Women will easily "Next" you for a short fuse. Women don't like conflict and especially from someone they hardly know and have little invested in.

If you realized you made a possible mistake, it's hard to get the women back to the same warm and fuzzy feeling she's had with you before so it's best to move onto the next one. If you try to make it happen, she'll know that she has the power and you will end up trying to make up the deficit that she knows about already.

Bro, I've been in the exact same boat for a long time too where I find it super easy for them to get on dates but a lot of them don't go past the first date. Here are some possible reasons:

- What Atom Smasher said is a big part

When a woman is “on stage”, she is on autopilot in a sense. She is relying on the social conventions she has learned. She’s playing the part, hoping to eventually feel a spark. In order to avoid extinguishing the possibility of a spark, she plays along and hopes.

Later, when she’s off the stage, she’s in assessment mode. She looks back and realizes there was no spark, and all sorts of doubts and misgivings come in. She thinks you’re a nice enough guy, but there’s nothing there that hooked her. A little part of her wants to try again to see if a spark develops, but the larger parts says “probably not”.

- Another part is that dating has been commoditized and it's the social programming that we've gotten used to by companies like Amazon, where we are conditioned to look over every pic carefully and read all the specs. Then when we finally meet someone, we are expecting that instant gratification and a perfect product and if we don't, we end up returning it. Most successful relationships has never been about "love at first sight" bs but since the internet has conditioned us to want everything fast, gals are also conditioned to want the "love at first sight" mirage and with no shortage of men, they will keep bouncing from one date to another until they think they've gotten that "feeling".

- Just because girls will kiss you and reciprocate, they are just testing the waters and/or just going along with it even if they are 50/50 about it to avoid any conflicts. As we know, girls don't like conflicts and hence why they manipulate, so that they can navigate around conflicts. It's great that you lead but the other side is girls will go along with your lead even when they are just feeling luke warm, further giving me inaccurate feedback.

- Also as I said before, the better the seducer you are, the easier a girl can fall under your spell for a short time for that moment. It isn't until after she has had time to sleep on it where she can really evaluate what she really felt or feels towards you in wanting to see you again as stated in Atom Smasher's quote. That's why some guys are really good at ONS but suck at keeping a gal coming back for more.

- Just because both of you kissed and felt each other up doesn't mean that you are some special case. Remember, she could've been doing the same things with 4 other guys that week too on her dates. That doesn't make you any special in HER eyes. You are just par for the course.

- Once again, you're applying guy logic by saying just because you had good convo, laughed, kissed, touched each other, she should wanna see you again. I think it's easy for us guys to think that way but also get this false idealistic perception of how we think the girl is based on just a first date. Women are more realistic in this regard and don't mind having fun but when it comes to a long future term outlook, they really are more realistic about it than guys, especially after just a first date.

It really does boil down to a compatibility game and all logical cues(kissing, hugging, etc) should be thrown out the window in the current dating environment. I think nothing of these things when I go on a first date. It's the 2nd or 3rd date that usually determines if we like each other enough to keep it moving forward. So I guess I've learned to temper any expectations on first dates is what I'm trying to say.

I know it sucks to keep having first dates but just keep grinding away at it and be glad you are able to line up several dates. Some guys can't unfortunately and then get sucked in the scarcity mindset which can even hurt them more.

 

[7onriverI f]

First off, you gotta control your short fuse. Women will easily "Next" you for a short fuse. Women don't like conflict and especially from someone they hardly know and have little invested in.

If you realized you made a possible mistake, it's hard to get the women back to the same warm and fuzzy feeling she's had with you before so it's best to move onto the next one. If you try to make it happen, she'll know that she has the power and you will end up trying to make up the deficit that she knows about already.

Bro, I've been in the exact same boat for a long time too where I find it super easy for them to get on dates but a lot of them don't go past the first date. Here are some possible reasons:

- What Atom Smasher said is a big part


- Another part is that dating has been commoditized and it's the social programming that we've gotten used to by companies like Amazon, where we are conditioned to look over every pic carefully and read all the specs. Then when we finally meet someone, we are expecting that instant gratification and a perfect product and if we don't, we end up returning it. Most successful relationships has never been about "love at first sight" bs but since the internet has conditioned us to want everything fast, gals are also conditioned to want the "love at first sight" mirage and with no shortage of men, they will keep bouncing from one date to another until they think they've gotten that "feeling".

- Just because girls will kiss you and reciprocate, they are just testing the waters and/or just going along with it even if they are 50/50 about it to avoid any conflicts. As we know, girls don't like conflicts and hence why they manipulate, so that they can navigate around conflicts. It's great that you lead but the other side is girls will go along with your lead even when they are just feeling luke warm, further giving me inaccurate feedback.

- Also as I said before, the better the seducer you are, the easier a girl can fall under your spell for a short time for that moment. It isn't until after she has had time to sleep on it where she can really evaluate what she really felt or feels towards you in wanting to see you again as stated in Atom Smasher's quote. That's why some guys are really good at ONS but suck at keeping a gal coming back for more.

- Just because both of you kissed and felt each other up doesn't mean that you are some special case. Remember, she could've been doing the same things with 4 other guys that week too on her dates. That doesn't make you any special in HER eyes. You are just par for the course.

- Once again, you're applying guy logic by saying just because you had good convo, laughed, kissed, touched each other, she should wanna see you again. I think it's easy for us guys to think that way but also get this false idealistic perception of how we think the girl is based on just a first date. Women are more realistic in this regard and don't mind having fun but when it comes to a long future term outlook, they really are more realistic about it than guys, especially after just a first date.

It really does boil down to a compatibility game and all logical cues(kissing, hugging, etc) should be thrown out the window in the current dating environment. I think nothing of these things when I go on a first date. It's the 2nd or 3rd date that usually determines if we like each other enough to keep it moving forward. So I guess I've learned to temper any expectations on first dates is what I'm trying to say.

I know it sucks to keep having first dates but just keep grinding away at it and be glad you are able to line up several dates. Some guys can't unfortunately and then get sucked in the scarcity mindset which can even hurt them more.

He's not communicating. The girl is probably wanting him to pleasure her and he ain't doing it. The girls like him but then he's just a crappy lover. So they go and find another guy who perhaps is a good lover.

It's good he's texting them and what he should do is tell her he wants to give her a orgasm and tell her not to fake it. That's what they want. Also call her the next day after meeting her and say he had a great time and would like to see her again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

He's not communicating. The girl is probably wanting him to pleasure her and he ain't doing it. The girls like him but then he's just a crappy lover. So they go and find another guy who perhaps is a good lover.

It's good he's texting them and what he should do is tell her he wants to give her a orgasm and tell her not to fake it. That's what they want. Also call her the next day after meeting her and say he had a great time and would like to see her again.

Why is this troll still here mods?

 

[7onriverI f]

Why is this troll still here mods?

She's a person and shes telling you there's no spark because you didn't please her. You don't have probably much else to offer (secruity finanial) and she has better guys in line for that.

 

[Lookatu]

He's not communicating. The girl is probably wanting him to pleasure her and he ain't doing it. The girls like him but then he's just a crappy lover. So they go and find another guy who perhaps is a good lover.

It's good he's texting them and what he should do is tell her he wants to give her a orgasm and tell her not to fake it. That's what they want. Also call her the next day after meeting her and say he had a great time and would like to see her again.

Yeah I definitely do not see it this way. Maybe in some third world countries in South America for example. But I believe the OP is in the US.

 

[7onriverI f]

Yeah I definitely do not see it this way. Maybe in some third world countries in South America for example. But I believe the OP is in the US.

Is op making them *** if he even wants to do that?

 

[7onriverI f]

that song teaches a bit of game if you listen to it.