Fvcked up post date interaction...best way to salvage?

[BackInTheGame78]

Here we go again...had what I thought was a great first date, made out multiple times, grabbing each other's asses, she grabbed and held my hand for a long time as we walked...she initiated the kiss at the end of the date and told me how much fun she had...

So I call her a few days later(she didn't text at all...bad sign) banter for a few minutes and then ask her out again and she tells me "I am not sure I was 100% feeling it but I also don't want to say no either. I kind of wanted to take things slow but obviously that didn't happen."

Instead of remaining cool and joking with her about it, in the heat of the moment as a quick reaction I blurted out "well you must have been feeling something to make out with me 4 separate times." and then she got defensive a little but we ended up making plans for Wednesday.

I sent her a text after joking that if I was too fun and exciting to be around that she could always go find someone who she could go on a dinner interview with(inside joke... we talked about how we hated dinner interview dates). No response.

Best way to salvage this? I almost want to cancel the date because I believe she is going to cancel regardless and at least this way would show I have some pullback. Or send her a text saying that I acted a little ridiculous Saturday and that of course we can take things slower.(Not in acton just in words of course)

Thoughts? My continual issue is I have trouble dealing with instant reaction things like this. I need to figure out a way to do better in the moment when these things happen.

I have a full slate of dates again with new women this week. But I am tired of going on first dates that don't lead to anything. I am phenomenal at getting women to meet up, have gotten makeouts the last 3 dates, but no second dates with all the women giving me some version of "not 100% feeling it"/"not enough spark"...

 

[7onriverI f]

Slow it down if you wanna go on mutiple dates. Don't be grabbing her ass and even making out with her first day.
For me I only do first dates and I don't care if I see them again because I go out again. Had a case with a girl and her friends wanting to hang out with my mate but not me. If it was just me I wouldn't of hooked up with her again. But my mate set it up. She was into my mate as well but he was telling me he's friendzoned when he just had to make a move on the second or third date alone with her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Slow it down if you wanna go on mutiple dates. Don't be grabbing her ass and even making out with her first day.
For me I only do first dates and I don't care if I see them again because I go out again. Had a case with a girl and her friends wanting to hang out with my mate but not me. If it was just me I wouldn't of hooked up with her again. But my mate set it up. She was into my mate as well but he was telling me he's friendzoned when he just had to make a move on the second or third date alone with her.

That's never worked for me. I have never gone on a second date with a woman I haven't kissed on the first one.

Maybe that works if you are some super hot dude where the girl is drooling over you but not if you are average looking like I am.

Also...that doesn't help me in the situation I am now. What should I do?

 

[7onriverI f]

Have you ever banged on the first date?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Have you ever banged on the first date?

Yes, 7 or 8 times. And lots more where it was a handjob/BJ

 

[7onriverI f]

Yes, 7 or 8 times. And lots more where it was a handjob/BJ

Perhaps the girls only want one night stand bro? Your not really the boyfriend type.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Honestly u could always just act like nothing ever happened

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Honestly u could always just act like nothing ever happened

I could but when you do something that dumb I'm not sure that is your best option.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Perhaps the girls only want one night stand bro? Your not really the boyfriend type.

I've been passive in dates and I've been aggressive in dates. Passive never works for me. Aggressive does.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I would pull back. For whatever reason, you simply didn’t give her the tingles. Look at the position you’re in: She sees you as all-in, lying prostrate before her, hoping she will accept you.

What you need to do is get up off the floor and demonstrate to both you and her that you can walk away from any woman. Again, she sees you as all-in because you’re trying to convince her. That’s an attraction killer. A man who she already sees as on her hook is not attractive.

The real challenge here is to discover why women do not become hooked on you on dates. What kind of guy do you present yourself as? What do women see as what you’ve got going on in life? What about you would make a girl say “I want to go along for the ride in this guy’s life!”?

You’ve got to discover or create a spark that sets the flame.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would pull back. For whatever reason, you simply didn’t give her the tingles. Look at the position you’re in: She sees you as all-in, lying prostrate before her, hoping she will accept you.

What you need to do is get up off the floor and demonstrate to both you and her that you can walk away from any woman. Again, she sees you as all-in because you’re trying to convince her. That’s an attraction killer. A man who she already sees as on her hook is not attractive.

The real challenge here is to discover why women do not become hooked on you on dates. What kind of guy do you present yourself as? What do women see as what you’ve got going on in life? What about you would make a girl say “I want to go along for the ride in this guy’s life!”?

You’ve got to discover or create a spark that sets the flame.

So just text her something like "Hey, Something came up, need to cancel Wednesday."?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would pull back. For whatever reason, you simply didn’t give her the tingles. Look at the position you’re in: She sees you as all-in, lying prostrate before her, hoping she will accept you.

What you need to do is get up off the floor and demonstrate to both you and her that you can walk away from any woman. Again, she sees you as all-in because you’re trying to convince her. That’s an attraction killer. A man who she already sees as on her hook is not attractive.

The real challenge here is to discover why women do not become hooked on you on dates. What kind of guy do you present yourself as? What do women see as what you’ve got going on in life? What about you would make a girl say “I want to go along for the ride in this guy’s life!”?

You’ve got to discover or create a spark that sets the flame.

The question is how does a woman feel it in date but not after the date? What causes that?

I present myself as fun and adventurous...I mean we went for a hike on a trail, went across a stream, off trail, I had no idea where we were headed but came out to an apple orchard and we snuck up and grabbed an apple off the tree and ate it and went back to hiking.

I would think that would be a pretty fun, cool experience for someone to have and be like "Wow that was fun, I have never done that before" and be interested in seeing a person who gave them that again but apparently not??

 

[Atom Smasher]

“Can’t do Wednesday. Sorry.”

Let her forever wonder what is wrong with HER. See what I mean? This will also change YOU for the better and help your future interactions, knowing that you said No thanks to a woman who wasn’t sparking.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If she was that into you at first and then pulls back then you pull back.

When dating I cultivated a no text after first date iron rule.
If she doesn't text. Let her go.
Its a hard thing to adopt but will teach you indifference.
This chic maybe be mental or low self esteem.
This dating market requires indifference and good text game.

Well text game isn't the issue...I could literally teach a course on how to get a woman from initial message to first date and have her excited to meet. I am exceptional at that. Which means I have a pipeline that will never run dry.

BUT the issue for me is post first date interactions may not be my strong suit. So I need to work on that for sure.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The question is how does a woman feel it in date but not after the date? What causes that?

When a woman is “on stage”, she is on autopilot in a sense. She is relying on the social conventions she has learned. She’s playing the part, hoping to eventually feel a spark. In order to avoid extinguishing the possibility of a spark, she plays along and hopes.

Later, when she’s off the stage, she’s in assessment mode. She looks back and realizes there was no spark, and all sorts of doubts and misgivings come in. She thinks you’re a nice enough guy, but there’s nothing there that hooked her. A little part of her wants to try again to see if a spark develops, but the larger parts says “probably not”.

You weren’t compelling and mysterious enough. You were all-in right from the start.

When dating a woman, a man needs to flip the script IMMEDIATELY and imply to her that he is assessing her suitability to be in his life. SHE is on trial, not you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

“Can’t do Wednesday. Sorry.”

Let her forever wonder what is wrong with HER. See what I mean? This will also change YOU for the better and help your future interactions, knowing that you said No thanks to a woman who wasn’t sparking.

Text sent, will update is I get a response but I assume it will be no response.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When a woman is “on stage”, she is on autopilot in a sense. She is relying on the social conventions she has learned. She’s playing the part, hoping to eventually feel a spark. In order to avoid extinguishing the possibility of a spark, she plays along and hopes.

Later, when she’s off the stage, she’s in assessment mode. She looks back and realizes there was no spark, and all sorts of doubts and misgivings come in. She thinks you’re a nice enough guy, but there’s nothing there that hooked her. A little part of her wants to try again to see if a spark develops, but the larger parts says “probably not”.

You weren’t compelling and mysterious enough. You were all-in right from the start.

When dating a woman, a man needs to flip the script IMMEDIATELY and imply to her that you are assessing her suitability to be in your like. SHE is on trial, not you.

I mean I felt I did some of this...she is in banking so I told her that I usually end up with teachers and nurses because they really know how to have fun and are adventurous once they leave work behind. I didn't say she wasn't but I covertly didn't include her.

Then I changed the subject...then when she went and picked an apple with me I told her I liked that she had a sense of adventure about her because a lot of women wouldn't have done that.

I guess I just need to get better in my interactions in this way but I am not sure how to go about it exactly.

 

[Atom Smasher]

It occurs to me that possibly your first date was too long. How many hours were you two together?

Good, you sent the text. The reaction or lack thereof will be telling. One thing’s for sure... It’s YOU who holds all the cards now.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It occurs to me that possibly your first date was too long. How many hours were you two together?

Good, you sent the text. The reaction or lack thereof will be telling. One thing’s for sure... It’s YOU who holds all the cards now.

2 hours or so. We went for ice cream after the hike.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Don’t forget the basics too. Breath good? Hygiene in order? It starts there.