Totally humiliated by family when gf was around

[Pandora]

I have this gf. Decent looking chick in her mid 20s'. I usually dont bring my girls around my guy friends but during COVID there is not much to do so I will occasionally break that rule. All of my friends are chill and respectful. Family on the other hand were not. I met up with couple of a cousins. Very close with one and sort of close with the other.

These guys starting roasting me non stop. They were trying to show off in front of my girl. I even warned my girl in the parking lot that these guys will turn in comedians once they are around her. I didn't know it will be this bad. Cracking jokes on family is cool. Thats how guys bond but jokes are often ways to hide secret animosity. It gives you plausible deniability when confronted about the joke. Its cowardly.

One cousin openly was hitting on my girl. I played it cool in front of the ladies. I had to check him in private about that. Of course the excuse was " oh cousin I didn't know". The other one I had to check him publicly because he kept trying to humiliate me with jokes. It went bad. Real bad. Big blow out.

The thing that hurt is that my gf was laughing the whole time. The jokes were funny to her. She was also entertaining the cousin who kept chatting her up. Her excuse was " I didn't realize he was hitting on me because he is your cousin". In the car she apolizged endlessly but I am now looking for an exit in the relationship.

 

[HyenaPrince]

but I am now looking for an exit in the relationship.

Good call. Also, simply don't bring women to meetups with your cousins anymore. This will never stop, since you can't beat up your family/friends for sh*t like that.

 

[Pandora]

This will never stop, since you can't beat up your family/friends for sh*t like that.

This is why its such a cowardly move when family does it. When you get aggressive then you are framed as the over sensitive black sheep of the family. If you let it slide then you are the chump. Once guys try to pull rank in front of a girl its a tricky situation.

This situation makes me wonder if there is some secret jealousy or animosity with my cousins. Why would you even want to rip on your cousin in front of his girl? Shouldn't be trying to make him look good?

 

[AttackFormation]

Good call. Also, simply don't bring women to meetups with your cousins anymore. This will never stop, since you can't beat up your family/friends for sh*t like that.

I disagree with this advice and would say the opposite. Pandora doing this is the equivalent of doing a sting operation. He found out he wasn't compatible with his girlfriend and so now he knows what to do moving forward.

 

[HyenaPrince]

This is why its such a cowardly move when family does it. When you get aggressive then you are framed as the over sensitive black sheep of the family. If you let it slide then you are the chump. Once guys try to pull rank in front of a girl its a tricky situation.

This situation makes me wonder if there is some secret jealousy or animosity with my cousins. Why would you even want to rip on your cousin in front of his girl? Shouldn't be trying to make him look good?

With family, jealousy is sometimes even more intense. They don't do it on purpose. I've never in my life felt jealousy towards anyone. Not once. I automatically feel good if people in my circle are successful or happy. I don't know why but I just can't comprehend jealousy. That's why it's so shocking to see how people become disgustingly devious behind your back.

They talk about how you've made the wrong decisions and how they would do it. It's ridiculous how involved people want to be in your life and affairs. They can't fathom the fact that you're happy and successful.

There's only one thing you can do without alienating your family, which I assume you don't want to do. Be more intense. Stare into their eyes longer when they talk. Stab them with your eyes. Smile with a delay when they tell a joke. When they do something ridiculous infront of your girl, smile and just stare at them for 10 seconds and then go grab a snack without saying anything. That sh*t is extremely effective. Then, all of a sudden throw them a little compliment. Something like "It's impressive how you've lost those pounds, bro." Pure chaos. They will feel uneasy and good at the same time.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Pandora doing this is the equivalent of doing a sting operation.

How so? Why not dump her? She clearly needs attention outside her relationship. Women always feel the emotions of each and every person in the room. She clearly was full of sh*t when she tried to play innocent. She has to be more considerate when it comes to her man. Why didn't she feel the tension between him and his cousins? After the first sh*tty joke she should have pulled back from the other guys and stick to him the whole time. She's in her mid 20s and not 19. There's no excuse for being inattentive.

 

[AttackFormation]

How so? Why not dump her? She clearly needs attention outside her relationship. Women always feel the emotions of each and every person in the room. She clearly was full of sh*t when she tried to play innocent. She has to be more considerate when it comes to her man. Why didn't she feel the tension between him and his cousins? After the first sh*tty joke she should have pulled back from the other guys and stick to him the whole time. She's in her mid 20s and not 19. There's no excuse for being inattentive.

I didn't disagree with dumping her at all - I meant that it was a good thing Pandora brought her around his treacherous cousins because now he can do exactly that. He already knew about his cousins, but her behavior and trashy excuse revealed that she wasn't compatible with him.

@Pandora why do you consider yourself to be "close" to people who don't respect you? In fact, I would think that's part of the reason why they feel they don't have to respect you.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I didn't disagree with dumping her at all - I meant that it was a good thing Pandora brought her around his treacherous cousins because now he can do exactly that. He already knew about his cousins, but her behavior and trashy excuse revealed that she wasn't compatible with him.

Makes sense.

 

[Mbuckets82]

Whats an example of what they said and your girls reaction?

 

[Blacksheep]

I have this gf. Decent looking chick in her mid 20s'. I usually dont bring my girls around my guy friends but during COVID there is not much to do so I will occasionally break that rule. All of my friends are chill and respectful. Family on the other hand were not. I met up with couple of a cousins. Very close with one and sort of close with the other.

These guys starting roasting me non stop. They were trying to show off in front of my girl. I even warned my girl in the parking lot that these guys will turn in comedians once they are around her. I didn't know it will be this bad. Cracking jokes on family is cool. Thats how guys bond but jokes are often ways to hide secret animosity. It gives you plausible deniability when confronted about the joke. Its cowardly.

One cousin openly was hitting on my girl. I played it cool in front of the ladies. I had to check him in private about that. Of course the excuse was " oh cousin I didn't know". The other one I had to check him publicly because he kept trying to humiliate me with jokes. It went bad. Real bad. Big blow out.

The thing that hurt is that my gf was laughing the whole time. The jokes were funny to her. She was also entertaining the cousin who kept chatting her up. Her excuse was " I didn't realize he was hitting on me because he is your cousin". In the car she apolizged endlessly but I am now looking for an exit in the relationship.

Lived 29 year on a very toxic environment with my parents. It took me a lot of things such physical and mental health/sanity.

Sh1t people you treat just like sh1t. Stay away as much as you can. I can be 100% sure to you... It doesnt worth at all! It will only put you down and make you feel as sh1tty as they are.

They do that to you as a projection... They feel themselves such a losers that they have to make everyone around feel like that. This nurture their empty souls.

About that woman... If she liked that and laugh about that. Give her a nice foot on her ass and leave. She is lying to you... Woman knows when someone are hitting them.

Good people dont do that. Good jokes dont humiliates... And good woman dont do such a ***** thing.

 

[Pandora]

Whats an example of what they said and your girls reaction?

Yeh one of the first things cousin did was "playfully" make fun of me dropping out of medical grad school program. This event was the most painful failure of my life. I still have not recovered from that. You just dont bring that topic up. He said something to the effect of " who does that etc". The girl didn't laugh at that one though. Mind you this dude has 2 DUI's no car, no job etc.

Or as we are walking down a nature trail with a lake this comedian has 20 jokes on how I cant swim " oh you gonna die in the water, we gonna do CPR on you"..."how cant you swim"..."your girl gonna save you"..etc just really corny ****. Not even clever. If they were clever I would admit it. It was some 8th grade nonsense. She's laughing at all that corny stuff.

"Oh so you think you can box, we going to see you on the tv knocked out like this (insert akward impression)"......I been doing MMA classes for 2 yrs and my goal is to maybe 1 day just do 1 amateur fight. Even if I lose its just something I want to try. I dont have any illusions about being good at it. Then when I told him lets spar because apparently mister 1 upper boxed in the jr olympics (lies) he declines saying oh im an old man now at 40 yrs old. I had gloves in the car and said we can see how good I am.

 

[Pandora]

How so? Why not dump her? She clearly needs attention outside her relationship. Women always feel the emotions of each and every person in the room. She clearly was full of sh*t when she tried to play innocent. She has to be more considerate when it comes to her man. Why didn't she feel the tension between him and his cousins? After the first sh*tty joke she should have pulled back from the other guys and stick to him the whole time. She's in her mid 20s and not 19. There's no excuse for being inattentive.

Oh and I told her on a previous occasion that we dont get along. She met him before briefly. So she knew.

 

[Jack12345]

I have this gf. Decent looking chick in her mid 20s'. I usually dont bring my girls around my guy friends but during COVID there is not much to do so I will occasionally break that rule. All of my friends are chill and respectful. Family on the other hand were not. I met up with couple of a cousins. Very close with one and sort of close with the other.

These guys starting roasting me non stop. They were trying to show off in front of my girl. I even warned my girl in the parking lot that these guys will turn in comedians once they are around her. I didn't know it will be this bad. Cracking jokes on family is cool. Thats how guys bond but jokes are often ways to hide secret animosity. It gives you plausible deniability when confronted about the joke. Its cowardly.

One cousin openly was hitting on my girl. I played it cool in front of the ladies. I had to check him in private about that. Of course the excuse was " oh cousin I didn't know". The other one I had to check him publicly because he kept trying to humiliate me with jokes. It went bad. Real bad. Big blow out.

The thing that hurt is that my gf was laughing the whole time. The jokes were funny to her. She was also entertaining the cousin who kept chatting her up. Her excuse was " I didn't realize he was hitting on me because he is your cousin". In the car she apolizged endlessly but I am now looking for an exit in the relationship.

Good lesson to not bring a girl into environments that you know ppl there affect u negatively

 

[Pandora]

I didn't disagree with dumping her at all - I meant that it was a good thing Pandora brought her around his treacherous cousins because now he can do exactly that. He already knew about his cousins, but her behavior and trashy excuse revealed that she wasn't compatible with him.

@Pandora why do you consider yourself to be "close" to people who don't respect you? In fact, I would think that's part of the reason why they feel they don't have to respect you.

Yes I agree. It is different when its family. I barely go and visit them and we all grew up together. Yes family thinks they dont have to respect you for whatever reason. Often you friends treat you better than family. Family is your own worst enemy.

The reason I say close is because I am referring to the past. Me and the one cousin were once poor together, lived in crappy apts together, been through a lot of stuff together in the past. Nowadays we are not so close. I was referring to how we grew up.

 

[Jack12345]

I met up with couple of a cousins. Very close with one and sort of close with the other.

These guys starting roasting me non stop. They were trying to show off in front of my girl. I even warned my girl in the parking lot that these guys will turn in comedians once they are around her. I didn't know it will be this bad.

F them. This that they're family doesnt mean you need to treat them respectfully if they disrespecting you. This is one of the hardest pills I had to swallow

 

[Jack12345]

F them. This that they're family doesnt mean you need to treat them respectfully if they disrespecting you. This is one of the hardest pills I had to swallow

Your girl dont know the actual dynamics between you and your family if you keep staying in contact with them, if you keep seeing them she assume they're ok even if you say they're not, and your relatives would use this.. they dont assume they doing something bad

 

[Henry Schweiss]

Lived 29 year on a very toxic environment with my parents. It took me a lot of things such physical and mental health/sanity.

Sh1t people you treat just like sh1t. Stay away as much as you can. I can be 100% sure to you... It doesnt worth at all! It will only put you down and make you feel as sh1tty as they are.

They do that to you as a projection... They feel themselves such a losers that they have to make everyone around feel like that. This nurture their empty souls.

About that woman... If she liked that and laugh about that. Give her a nice foot on her ass and leave. She is lying to you... Woman knows when someone are hitting them.

Good people dont do that. Good jokes dont humiliates... And good woman dont do such a ***** thing.

Eis que encontro um companheiro tupiniquim por aqui.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Just don't go around them again. And you can't act hurt around it.

 

[Mbuckets82]

Yeh one of the first things cousin did was "playfully" make fun of me dropping out of medical grad school program. This event was the most painful failure of my life. I still have not recovered from that. You just dont bring that topic up. He said something to the effect of " who does that etc". The girl didn't laugh at that one though. Mind you this dude has 2 DUI's no car, no job etc.

Or as we are walking down a nature trail with a lake this comedian has 20 jokes on how I cant swim " oh you gonna die in the water, we gonna do CPR on you"..."how cant you swim"..."your girl gonna save you"..etc just really corny ****. Not even clever. If they were clever I would admit it. It was some 8th grade nonsense. She's laughing at all that corny stuff.

"Oh so you think you can box, we going to see you on the tv knocked out like this (insert akward impression)"......I been doing MMA classes for 2 yrs and my goal is to maybe 1 day just do 1 amateur fight. Even if I lose its just something I want to try. I dont have any illusions about being good at it. Then when I told him lets spar because apparently mister 1 upper boxed in the jr olympics (lies) he declines saying oh im an old man now at 40 yrs old. I had gloves in the car and said we can see how good I am.

Oh yea no coming back from that. I wouldn’t speak to them, you’re their punching bag. As far as she is concerned if you think her apology was genuine then maybe she just laughed at funny jokes. I’d see if anything like that happens again.

 

[redskinsfan92]

Take all gfs to meet your cousins. You'll cut right through her act and find the real her. Dump this chick.