Totally humiliated by family when gf was around

[HyenaPrince]

Btw was the African girl in the last story hot? It was sad that she already exhibited " learned helplesnes" by letting them slap her.

And a front kick to the stomach always works wonders in a fight. That will be my go to weapon in a fight. Front teep to the abdomen.

She was too young back then to judge that now. But I think I saw her 3-4 years ago somewhere in the neighborhood where my parents live. She looked okay, not my type though.

Yeah, that kick felt good man not gonna lie.

 

[Who Dares Win]

We could avoid all this problems we most of the authorities wheter parents, teachers or the law would bother to actually enforce justice rather than letting it go till a snowball effect exits.

 

[Pandora]

So update if any one cares. The girl has been calling me a lot. We finally talked. She feels bad about it. She said she didnt do it on purpose. She also added " lowkey it kind of turned her on because i got angry" she added " i didnt think you could get jealous".

I dont know what to make of this. Im proceeding with caution. Thats a red flag.

 

[mickdollaz]

Hey man, you are making WAY too big a deal about this. The encounter was unpleasant, but you learned not to hang out with toxic people. It was a positive. Now you know how to handle such situations in the future.

Since you don't like conflict, avoid people who do. If you find yourself in such a situation unexpectedly, leave.

Don't bring this girl around friends or family for now. It can only lead to problems, as you've already discovered.

Your inability to move on from what is a very minor incident is what should concern you. There's absolutely nothing indicating that this requires the level of emotional involvement you've displayed. Let it go. You learned a simple but important lesson. Now move on.

You've told the girl how you feel. She told you how she feels. Tell her it's cool, set up another date with the two of you ALONE.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why didn't you just leave?

 

[ubercat]

Zombie thread so I m talking to those new around here. Mob attacks are difficult to deal with. It's the opposite of social proof. I d never bring a girl near your cousins. If they are always this b1tchy I d ghost them. And when you have to see them at family events go on the attack immediately. Deal with them like any other uppity b1tch. Be amused, be bored, be dismissive, withdraw attention i.e. turn away or walk off and above all be calm. It should look like a 5 YO trying to attack an adult.

 

[Pandora]

So after 2 years of this incident, what happened? Did you drop her? Were you right about her? Was she for the streets? She didn't have your best interest? Also what happened with your cousin? Did you finally beat him up? Is he dead?

This experiences serve to new people who are lurking and looking for answers.

Haha thanks for being interested. So a few months after the incident she went to a family event. She was helping my mom cook and she snapped at my mom. My sisters friend checked her. At the table she and my sisters best friend got into a slight verbal passive aggressive encounter. This is when I knew that this girl had some sort of personality issue and was deeply insecure.

A few months after that she claimed I gave her herpes. She terrorized me at work and I felt so guilty that day. I thought I gave her something. She went to a doctor then a physicians assistant and they both said she didnt have any herpes. She still did not believe them. She claimed because I was a slut in the past that I gave her herpes. She already had a prescription for Valtrex though which was suspicious. Her ex had tried to penetrate her but he could not and it hurt too bad. So they stoped and she also said he had herpes.

A few months after that she left my apartment. This girl proceeded to say the meanest things over text like " your daughter will receive the karma you put on me etc". Thats what did it. I snapped and told her if she ever, and i mean EVER comes back to my place again I will call the police. I told her I was blocking her and did it. That was 2 yrs ago and have not talked to her since. I don't even have the urge to ever see her again. She was pure evil. Btw she was an Ivy League grad.

She was a virgin at 25 when I took her virginity. This is why I made a post saying " just because she is a virgin does not mean she is submissive". Her brother was super cool though. He got me into psychedelics. I will miss him no homo.

 

[Pandora]

Why didn't you just leave?

I did not leave because I wanted to play it cool. I wanted to act indifferent. I also have boundary issues and got bullied in early high school. But I am working on this. Martial arts and MMA really gave me confidence to enforce my boundaries.

It's hard to leave because you wonder if you are over reacting because of past trauma. Once it got too obvious I did end up leaving though. I was ready to single leg my cousin and rear naked choke his azz. To this day we still have an awkward tension. But he is still a 40 something loser so I don't have to do anything. His life is enough revenge. I will probably make a thread on him one day.

Btw my new girl was at a table eating dinner with a group. This guy started chatting her up. I introduced them to be polite. He knew she was my gf. I watched her to see if she would give him any energy. She gave him NONE. I really appreciated this and later on I told her she did good. Its the little things.

 

[Pandora]

Zombie thread so I m talking to those new around here. Mob attacks are difficult to deal with. It's the opposite of social proof. I d never bring a girl near your cousins. If they are always this b1tchy I d ghost them. And when you have to see them at family events go on the attack immediately. Deal with them like any other uppity b1tch. Be amused, be bored, be dismissive, withdraw attention i.e. turn away or walk off and above all be calm. It should look like a 5 YO trying to attack an adult.

Yeh brother I agree. I saw the cousin a few months ago outside a bar. He had a gut, divorced for many years, unemployed, and bragging about banging mudsharks and mediocre chicks around town. Yeh im good. You can tell in his handshake that he doesnt like me. He does not try to belittle me anymore but then again I dont hang around him anymore. Its all love though. I have grown since that incident and I see that his behavior comes from insecurity. I should love him from a distance.

 

[Pandora]

If your gf sees that you don’t have respect from your family, her perception of your status/value drops.

Family can be the biggest c0ck block if you’re not respected by them. It’s primal. Your gf is making subconscious assessments about your family hierarchy. If she figures you’re at the bottom of that hierarchy then you’ll notice a drop in her attraction for you.

This happens because women are hierarchy-obsessed. If she sees you getting pushed around by people “above” you, then what’s her hypergamos brain going to start telling her? If your family doesn’t respect you, she’ll naturally assume society doesn’t respect you too.

Yes exactly I agree. 100%....she was making assessments about my family hierarchy. Not all girls are this ruthless. Some girls will stand up for their man if they see him getting insulted. My other cousins wife did. If I made a good joke on him she would not laugh and she would downplay it.

A good thing came out of this incident. They respect me now. Or atleast they dont disrespect me now. Its all cool. They did not think I had any capacity for violence or anger. Now they know. I have grown and they have grown. The less obnoxious one even tried to help me get a job with his place of work at one point. We are still good friends and he apologized profusely for the incident.

 

[Pandora]

Or even better, say more with less words. If you counter compact and cunning, you win. The best scenario is a joke that's so smart that only part of the group understands it.

Yeh problem is that I am not good at roasting people lol. I never liked it. But it is a very valuable skill to have.

 

[Murk]

This happens because you have a weak frame. Nothing to do with the girl. Your family see you as a punk.

If any family member disrespects me privately it's over, publicly we are fighting and I'm ruining them.

Some people think frame only relates to women, you need to hold frame in your life always, or things like this happen.

When I bring new girls to family they get nervous and ask "do you think they will like me" I say I don't give a fvck we have to decided if WE like THEM.

I'm constantly judging my family and their behaviour on a case by case basis, same with my friends, same with my girlfriends.

I don't think you really know what it means to "be the prize". You need self-respect and boundaries set for every fvcking human walking the earth bar none.

 

[madeit]

Wow man - that girl sounds like a piece of work haha.

Honestly if my family acted like that I would not bring a girl near them and would avoid them as much as possible. I actually do just that with some members of my family. I didn't read everything but the thing about medical school and hitting on her I got mad on your behalf.


Honestly - if it were a cousin I knew well pulling stuff like that (and sounds like you do mma/ can grapple) I'd probably just wrestle him down give him a noogie grind knuckles into temple etc. embarass him and make him feel some serious pain - but not a legit fight/ ass kicking ( probably) I mean basically the dudes were bullying you.

Some people are just jerks and won't stop no matter the boundary unless you whoop their ass or you just have to cut them out.

You can set a boundary but whether someone follows it or not is up to them. I honestly think whooping a few of the cousins a time or two wouldn't be the worst idea.