Breaking NC with a good outcome?

[TonyTenner]

I know NC is a golden rule. But has anyone ever had the experience of breaking NC and initiating contact - and actually had a good outcome?

I'm 1 week into NC and struggling, despite spinning 2 other plates. I broke up with this girl - easily a HB9 - because she took advantage too often - never offering to pay for anything, me always having to come to her city and not vice versa, checking out other guys when we were together. She was shocked when I did it, I was angry and she'd never seen me that way. She cried briefly and said she didn't want to keep seeing me. It was the first time I felt like I had her full respect. We've had no contact since.

But I'm tempted to contact her as I'm going to be in her city this week. I know everyone will say this is a bad idea, but could it work? And yes, I think she is worth it (just about). When she respected me, we were good together. I lost respect because I only discovered the red pill about 4 weeks ago - by then it was too late.

 

[Billtx49]

Indirectly telling her you’re weak by breaking NC is not the answer. As @mozarto.o stated in another thread, The only way to get her back is to genuinely move on…

 

[derby1]

Commandment number 1. It is your fault, what they do is what they do.

she already thinks your weak, 100% confirm it with that initiating message

 

[TonyTenner]

Indirectly telling her you’re weak by breaking NC is not the answer. As @mozarto.o stated in another thread, The only way to get her back is to genuinely move on…

Damn, what a catch 22. It was the same situation when I broke it off, the only way we could continue is if she respected me and the only way she could respect me was for me to break it off.

Ok, I resolve to hold my silence.

 

[derby1]

once disrespect has been lost brother, you may aswell write a poem called "Quicksand"

 

[TonyTenner]

once disrespect has been lost brother, you may aswell write a poem called "Quicksand"

haha

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

This is why I'm a fan of going ghost at times. Even if you **** up, by going ghost UNTIL she reaches out you always show her you can live without her. Women can't stand when a man they are INTERESTED in goes ghost, so her pride might stop her from contacting you AT FIRST, but if she's actually interested she will always crack and you can kindof reset the frame if you haven't truly ****ed up.

 

[Billtx49]

Damn, what a catch 22. It was the same situation when I broke it off, the only way we could continue is if she respected me and the only way she could respect me was for me to break it off.

Yes, and a woman will respect a man that has the strength to stand behind his decisions…

 

[Cool Breeze]

I know NC is a golden rule. But has anyone ever had the experience of breaking NC and initiating contact - and actually had a good outcome?

I'm 1 week into NC and struggling, despite spinning 2 other plates. I broke up with this girl - easily a HB9 - because she took advantage too often - never offering to pay for anything, me always having to come to her city and not vice versa, checking out other guys when we were together. She was shocked when I did it, I was angry and she'd never seen me that way. She cried briefly and said she didn't want to keep seeing me. It was the first time I felt like I had her full respect. We've had no contact since.

But I'm tempted to contact her as I'm going to be in her city this week. I know everyone will say this is a bad idea, but could it work? And yes, I think she is worth it (just about). When she respected me, we were good together. I lost respect because I only discovered the red pill about 4 weeks ago - by then it was too late.

No matter what you do going forward, no matter how long you remain strong, the perception of weakness will never leave her mind.

 

[Robert28]

First couple weeks are the hardest because you’re used to a routine. Just make it 2 weeks no matter what because that’s half a month. Get that first month under your belt and then see how you feel. You can’t break no contact especially in the first week. I go against the grain of most on here, you can break eventually it but a lot of time has to pass and how you do it is everything. Another secret is you have to make ALOT of changes to yourself in that time.
I broke no contact with an ex of mine from 8 years ago who I bumped into last year. She ended up contacting me this year and we’ve been hanging out for the past couple months regularly. We are getting along better now than we ever did when we dated, we are different people but the same if that makes sense. I’m glad I broke no contact with her but also, years had gone by prior to me running into her last year. I’d also changed ALOT. So much so that I stuck in her mind for an entire YEAR later when she reached out. I swear she’s into me more now than when we actually dated. She still looks great too!

 

[Who Dares Win]

I know NC is a golden rule. But has anyone ever had the experience of breaking NC and initiating contact - and actually had a good outcome?

I'm 1 week into NC and struggling, despite spinning 2 other plates. I broke up with this girl - easily a HB9 - because she took advantage too often - never offering to pay for anything, me always having to come to her city and not vice versa, checking out other guys when we were together. She was shocked when I did it, I was angry and she'd never seen me that way. She cried briefly and said she didn't want to keep seeing me. It was the first time I felt like I had her full respect. We've had no contact since.

But I'm tempted to contact her as I'm going to be in her city this week. I know everyone will say this is a bad idea, but could it work? And yes, I think she is worth it (just about). When she respected me, we were good together. I lost respect because I only discovered the red pill about 4 weeks ago - by then it was too late.

You begun No Contact for a reason, either due to frustration or genuine desider to remove someone toxic from your life.

Its not about if she is worth or not to break NC, its just that all the reasons for which you begun it are still there.

In my opinion when a guy goes no contact is because he realized he has no chances and he wants to get rid of that hassle while still hoping for her to make a move, then trying to get her back or ignore her to have the last word.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She will 100% contact you at some point within the next month and if you want to turn her into a plate then its your best chance.

 

[Billtx49]

She will 100% contact you at some point within the next month and if you want to turn her into a plate then its your best chance.

Not necessarily that soon, there’s too many variables to specify a time range. Could be years, but when she gets to a realization that the grass is not greener on the other side, at some point then she will recontact …
OP just needs to Not put his own life on hold and to move on from here…

 

[TonyTenner]

Yes, and a woman will respect a man that has the strength to stand behind his decisions…

Fcuk, it's a Penrose staircase of catch 22s. You're right.

 

[TonyTenner]

No matter what you do going forward, no matter how long you remain strong, the perception of weakness will never leave her mind.

It's insane. I'm 37 and only just learning this sh*t now.

 

[TonyTenner]

You begun No Contact for a reason, either due to frustration or genuine desider to remove someone toxic from your life.

Its not about if she is worth or not to break NC, its just that all the reasons for which you begun it are still there.

In my opinion when a guy goes no contact is because he realized he has no chances and he wants to get rid of that hassle while still hoping for her to make a move, then trying to get her back or ignore her to have the last word.

That's pretty much it. I felt like I was her backup plan. I don't think she had genuine desire for me. She wanted to like me more than her hindbrain allowed. At least I had sex with a HB9. If she reaches out, great. If not, then the journey lead me to stumbling upon these forums, and the wisdom within, which is a nice consolation.

 

[TonyTenner]

Not necessarily that soon, there’s too many variables to specify a time range. Could be years, but when she gets to a realization that the grass is not greener on the other side, at some point then she will recontact …
OP just needs to Not put his own life on hold and to move on from here…

Yes Im on my way, I have dates with 2 others this week. This girl is 34, and I get the impression she's finally realising she needs to hurry up, so I do think if she reconnects it will be in weeks/months rather than years. I've deleted her number now so avoid drunk texting. So no going back now.

 

[bcude]

It's insane. I'm 37 and only just learning this sh*t now.

Well, in Okinawa (Japan) they say life begins at 80 so you're still a toddler matey.

If she's objectively as hot as she's in your eyes, then she won't be used to men walking away, mean it and NOT cave in which will make her reach out to you most definately given enough time. On top of all the other NC benefits that makes the hamster spin.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I know NC is a golden rule. But has anyone ever had the experience of breaking NC and initiating contact - and actually had a good outcome?

I'm 1 week into NC and struggling, despite spinning 2 other plates. I broke up with this girl - easily a HB9 - because she took advantage too often - never offering to pay for anything, me always having to come to her city and not vice versa, checking out other guys when we were together. She was shocked when I did it, I was angry and she'd never seen me that way. She cried briefly and said she didn't want to keep seeing me. It was the first time I felt like I had her full respect. We've had no contact since.

But I'm tempted to contact her as I'm going to be in her city this week. I know everyone will say this is a bad idea, but could it work? And yes, I think she is worth it (just about). When she respected me, we were good together. I lost respect because I only discovered the red pill about 4 weeks ago - by then it was too late.

what the other members say about you appearing weak is absolutely true.
But hey, if you don't mind that role then you can stretch a first breakup after 2 weeks of being with them into 14 months of several more fun breakups....ask me how I know(sarcastic)

 

[Visionist]

If not, then the journey lead me to stumbling upon these forums, and the wisdom within, which is a nice consolation.

We're just consolation?!

lol

She's too old for you anyway. Too much emotional baggage. Too much cynicism and world weariness. Probably baby rabies too.