BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,847
- Reaction score
- 6,895
- Age
- 56
Advice from the old lady:
Remain no contact. It’s best in this case. You’ll run into her again at some point. At that time you simply be cool, nonchalant and unaffected. Therein lies potential future opportunity. But you have to be mentally OVER the situation first for that to give you a shot.
Tony the key thing I picked up reading your thread is that you felt like a backup plan. Was that real or your perception? (rooted in putting her on a pedestal). Really give that some thought. Here’s why. Beautiful people are going to notice each other. Beautiful people are going to be eye candy to everyone frankly. So her noticing and being noticed isn’t in and of itself a big deal. It’s a day in the life of a really attractive person. But how you perceive it can become a big deal.
The guys may jump all over me for what I’m about to say, but I’m saying it for you to think about & consider...
She said she didn’t want to see you anymore when you mentioned it. Right? It’s hard to mention something like this directly and come across as anything other than but hurt and insecure. Not a good perception for her to have (especially since a woman that attractive always has many options)...there was a recent thread actually about this exact situation but the dude hadn’t yet said anything to the 9 he was/is seeing...and the general advice of the brain trust around here was to handle it obliquely. He should chat up another girl nonchalantly or ask her what’s so fascinating over there with a cheeky attitude or himself comment that the guy is handsome in some way (some acknowledgement and nonchalance about the situation, utterly unflappable but consistent with his personality style)...
Indirect. Or flirt with someone else right under her nose. These are all indirect means. She’ll get the memo.
I recall one night my guy got super annoyed with me because a handsome Latin man kept ogling me from across the venue. My guy and I were seated in a lounge area having a conversation with someone and I wasn’t even aware of the attention this other man was paying to me. Like I was oblivious. Therefore I was doing nothing disrespectful at all...but my very handsome BF who women constantly fawn over sounded like an insecure little *itch in that moment. I told him so, which didn’t exactly make him happy but he was acting insecure and was out of line.
We weren’t newly dating so it didn’t blow things up. He calmed down & we drove on.
This woman has options. She may in fact never reach out. See paragraph 1. I’ve never been the one to break NC. With my recent ex he made it about 10 days & then started blowing up my phone. We are talking...but he starts every interaction. He just texted in fact.
With some women a guy must take the lead as a man. You need more resolve and red pill perspective before you break NC early.
So digest that as you proceed with NC. Did you do things to erode your frame? If you got one 9, and you tighten your frame? You’ll get another. Beautiful women are everywhere.
Remain no contact. It’s best in this case. You’ll run into her again at some point. At that time you simply be cool, nonchalant and unaffected. Therein lies potential future opportunity. But you have to be mentally OVER the situation first for that to give you a shot.
Tony the key thing I picked up reading your thread is that you felt like a backup plan. Was that real or your perception? (rooted in putting her on a pedestal). Really give that some thought. Here’s why. Beautiful people are going to notice each other. Beautiful people are going to be eye candy to everyone frankly. So her noticing and being noticed isn’t in and of itself a big deal. It’s a day in the life of a really attractive person. But how you perceive it can become a big deal.
The guys may jump all over me for what I’m about to say, but I’m saying it for you to think about & consider...
She said she didn’t want to see you anymore when you mentioned it. Right? It’s hard to mention something like this directly and come across as anything other than but hurt and insecure. Not a good perception for her to have (especially since a woman that attractive always has many options)...there was a recent thread actually about this exact situation but the dude hadn’t yet said anything to the 9 he was/is seeing...and the general advice of the brain trust around here was to handle it obliquely. He should chat up another girl nonchalantly or ask her what’s so fascinating over there with a cheeky attitude or himself comment that the guy is handsome in some way (some acknowledgement and nonchalance about the situation, utterly unflappable but consistent with his personality style)...
Indirect. Or flirt with someone else right under her nose. These are all indirect means. She’ll get the memo.
I recall one night my guy got super annoyed with me because a handsome Latin man kept ogling me from across the venue. My guy and I were seated in a lounge area having a conversation with someone and I wasn’t even aware of the attention this other man was paying to me. Like I was oblivious. Therefore I was doing nothing disrespectful at all...but my very handsome BF who women constantly fawn over sounded like an insecure little *itch in that moment. I told him so, which didn’t exactly make him happy but he was acting insecure and was out of line.
We weren’t newly dating so it didn’t blow things up. He calmed down & we drove on.
This woman has options. She may in fact never reach out. See paragraph 1. I’ve never been the one to break NC. With my recent ex he made it about 10 days & then started blowing up my phone. We are talking...but he starts every interaction. He just texted in fact.
With some women a guy must take the lead as a man. You need more resolve and red pill perspective before you break NC early.
So digest that as you proceed with NC. Did you do things to erode your frame? If you got one 9, and you tighten your frame? You’ll get another. Beautiful women are everywhere.
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