I got with her initially because she's hot. I stayed with her for years because she's hot but also yeah, love her. I do love her and I love my kids and maybe you're right and we could work this out but right now I'm not in the right frame of mind to fix anything with her and neither is she. I didn't leave on particularly bad terms.That sounds rather blue-pill. In fact the logic of your whole thread, when it comes to providing sounds blue-pill, yet you know about game. What it sounds like you hit the right attraction buttons and applied the red-pill with her, and this would work really well, especially 10 years ago when that stuff was still popular. But at the core, you didn't change on the inside, or deal with the inner-game issues, and that's the problem, even in Neil Strauss book, "The Game". You begin to lose the girl because you put on an act that's not really you, and you are really a provider/blue-pill at the core, and then the girl loses attraction to you over time.
No guy, unless you are like a Chad and are rich (not middle-class rich, is really going to have a higher-value than a woman, so there is always a potential for any woman to eventually want to trade-up unless she has strong religious values and intends to honour the marriage. Remember, a woman just has to show up and she is assigned a very high value because there are lots of thirsty guys after her already that are inflating her ego and can get a "grass is greener on the other side" conflict. That is why I feel that any issue with this woman will simply be transferred to another woman unless you deal with the "inner game" issues.
Just be honest with yourself and expectations. You are with her because she is hot. It's not easy to replace a hot girl like that so its easier to work it out with her then to find another loyal hb8/9. Even hb5-6 are hyper-inflated.
Before I met her I was probably more red pill in terms of game and approach but yeah, I've been beta for a long time in the relationship. A lot of what I've done previously is blue pill 100% and I only read Rollo's book after this all happened, looking for answers and I'm still very early on in my red pill education. I haven't accepted a lot of it yet, I'm aware of it and am trying to explain where I was and where I'm trying to get to with my posts but not that I'm 100% red pill now because I'm not there yet. Maybe I'm not capable of ever becoming fully red pill and maybe I'm destined for a life of purple ideals.
I just want a happy, easy life where I can just be myself without having to worry about all the craziness of women. Maybe MGTOW or a monk is more the path I'm gonna end up on lol