Was this a test or creating drama on purpose?

[jnMissouri]

I've had a few relationships that did stuff similar to this early on. Try to break up but not really. And whether I go with, "hey you're making a mistake but seems like you've made up your mind" or "OK take care" they back off. In a recent case the girl texted me TWO freaking days later hinting to get back together. I didn't bite, then came out the "I gave you the green light you didn't take it, you seemed unphased by the whole thing" etc.

Anyways, now that the theory is out of the way. This chic I've been dating. First meet from out of state, sex, all over each other acting like a couple. Before she leaves she calls me her boyfriend, takes down her profile, etc.

So she gives me dates to go see her next (this isn't your average girl, she is hot AND successful). Then tonight, after a couple weeks back home, texting nearly daily, she tells me oh, I want to tell you something. My ex and I talked on the phone a FEW DAYS AGO. I realized I still have feelings for him...but he is married now so we can never be, thinks I'm very special, really likes me a lot, but isn't ready to date like she thought, needs to get through these feelings on her own.

I push back a bit, saying let's take it slow, but it seems like she made up her mind and to take care, even though I think it's a mistake. She then responds saying she appreciates me, but doesn't want to promise anything she is not ready for yet.

So I tell her no expectations on outcomes or promises, let's take it slow. She responds back an hour later, you're amazing....

I told her I get that a lot, etc. have a good night, you're cool too by the way.

So she texts me good night back anndddd...a picture of the meal she told me she would have ready to cook for me when I go down to see her....as in my trip to go see HER this time around is till on.

So what was this, a **** test? A test to see if I'm really interested? I don't really call her, she usually calls me, I barely text, etc. A few chics I know have told me my lack of calling her when she calls me more often would make her feel like I don't feel the same way about her. Her ex and her split almost a year ago....and she was the one that originally pushed for a relationship with ME. I don't believe this was real. In fact Chris Cantwell of magnetic attraction (I think that's what it is called?) has a lot of videos on youtube that talks about how most breakups are just a test....to see if you are serious, see how you react, etc. I've even had some women who are inexperienced in dating TELL me they do stuff like this to me to see how I react.

What's your guess, was this real or made up drama? Considering how quickly she agreed to continue forward? I mean crap, I NEVER told her I was her boyfriend. I took down my profile after she did, but when she called me her boyfriend before she left, I was just silent...and she was awkwardly disappointed I was silent.

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

I saw it on my cellphone and got into my pc to answer this brodie. Hope its useful, and please let me know what has happened in this couple of days. Here it goes:
1. im sorry to tell you this my man, but no one just happens to talk to an Ex. That lets you know they HAVE been in touch (taggin each other on some stupid facebook/ IG ****, liking pics etc) OR, logically, still got his number. Which is a no no.
2. He right there on her city (I assume) got hella leverage over you.
3. A girl that wants to ''date'' a guy that is not in her town, means she got a reputation on hers. RED FLAG.
4. she flat our let you know still got feeling for the guy, what makes you think she wont have them still if she dates you for real. Plus shell be more likely comparing $hit he used to do, to the way you do it and dumb things like it.
5. WHY WOULD U TEXT EVERYDAY bro? are you aiming for a relationship with her? (not knocking off your purple pill mentality) after all the flags? PLus, you said she hot, which means you probably got your $ht together, got charisma or some gamein you. Get you another one.
6. Stop taking advises from girl bro, honestly. Dont ask a fish how to catch a fish.
7. It was over the minute you was available as H/ell for her. Killed the mistery, even more if you two are far away.
8. She got you good bro, took down your profile. TAlking everyday, asking for advise in this site (again none wrong the purple pill), BUT long distance relationships are a big NO NO. Taking from experience.

Blessings to ya

 

[jaymbrs]

This is not a **** test, IMO. This to me was a red flag that you're choosing to get by you so you can stay with her. A female who is genuinely into you, won't bring up the ex and even less mention she has feelings for him. At this point, if she goes over and ****s him, you can't say anything about it because she essentially told you the deal, which you agreed was ok.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

The urge to spread your seed was there. Animal instincts aside. Your brain didn't allow you to close this. Neither could her brain. So was not a test...

 

[Medina]

It's best not to care whats going on in a womans brain- if it was symbolized by a song it would be circus music

You either meet up and have a great time or you walk away and never look back. Those are your options

And both them will elevate her opinion of you

 

[jnMissouri]

The urge to spread your seed was there. Animal instincts aside. Your brain didn't allow you to close this. Neither could her brain. So was not a test...

We had sex the entire time she was here. She invited me down to see her, even trying to take some of my stuff to force me to go see her. What do you mean by close this, sex happened. Relationship happened. But seems to be dying out quickly thanks to ex feelings assuming that's real.

 

[jnMissouri]

This is not a **** test, IMO. This to me was a red flag that you're choosing to get by you so you can stay with her. A female who is genuinely into you, won't bring up the ex and even less mention she has feelings for him. At this point, if she goes over and ****s him, you can't say anything about it because she essentially told you the deal, which you agreed was ok.

I think you missed a couple points here. She messaged me on the site. Spent her money and time flying to see me from the other side of the country. Her bringing up feelings of an ex then telling me in the next sentence that nothing can ever be because he is married now doesn't sound like she is not interested to me. Her signals were really mixed. The ex is a non issue. She even agreed to keep dating in like 2 texts exchanged....As soon as I said seems like you made up your mind and take care, she opened the door fully.

 

[jnMissouri]

I saw it on my cellphone and got into my pc to answer this brodie. Hope its useful, and please let me know what has happened in this couple of days. Here it goes:
1. im sorry to tell you this my man, but no one just happens to talk to an Ex. That lets you know they HAVE been in touch (taggin each other on some stupid facebook/ IG ****, liking pics etc) OR, logically, still got his number. Which is a no no.
2. He right there on her city (I assume) got hella leverage over you.
3. A girl that wants to ''date'' a guy that is not in her town, means she got a reputation on hers. RED FLAG.
4. she flat our let you know still got feeling for the guy, what makes you think she wont have them still if she dates you for real. Plus shell be more likely comparing $hit he used to do, to the way you do it and dumb things like it.
5. WHY WOULD U TEXT EVERYDAY bro? are you aiming for a relationship with her? (not knocking off your purple pill mentality) after all the flags? PLus, you said she hot, which means you probably got your $ht together, got charisma or some gamein you. Get you another one.
6. Stop taking advises from girl bro, honestly. Dont ask a fish how to catch a fish.
7. It was over the minute you was available as H/ell for her. Killed the mistery, even more if you two are far away.
8. She got you good bro, took down your profile. TAlking everyday, asking for advise in this site (again none wrong the purple pill), BUT long distance relationships are a big NO NO. Taking from experience.

Blessings to ya

1) I talk to most of my exes's still, it's common...
2) Yeah, there, but he is married now.
3) Again we met on a HNW dating site and she doesn't date average guys, you generally have to travel to meet other HNW people. I've yet to find one in my own town, one of the most expensive cities in the country. They are there, but I find more of them all over than I do here, which is zero here on the site...
4) Feelings subside. I had feelings for exe's. Now I wonder wtf I was even with them for.
5) I didn't text every day. I skipped days here and there. We did this even before her flying here to meet me and **** me. And she could have ANY guy she wants. So she didn't just fly here to **** me.
6) Yes and no. I've found some women have rather good advice on situations from their own experience being on the receiving end.
7) This I might buy into. But I was more available to her before we met, I cut the availability down after....
8) Yes that's because she wanted a relationship and took down her profile. And she is hot, funny and rich. I'm not dating a McDonalds employee who is a 5. And it wouldn't be long distance forever. I'm looking to relocate anyways as I HATE my state.

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

Big bro I see a lot of confrontation on your response but I won't knock it down, I know how it goes when there's that one that's just differential. Me myself got one in the rotation that just does it for me with that in mind and being open I'll reply to what matters not reply to every single point and thinking u want a relationship with her, a real one...
2) soooo MF-ing what bro?! Lol u know we re men, married or not married? You keep saying she HOT as the summer, u think he won't come around if she tells her to do so. Because she was bored/hurt (by you, or anything else, more likely something you are yet to know, etc) I know it hurts. But that mf can come around and eat your plate at any given time. If you wanna relocate, hurry up.
4) u really didn't refute my point there, u know deep down it's true. After a while, she will be comparing.
5) she can have any guy?. Can you have any girl? You know One-itis is a b*tch, even if you don't want other girls, talk to em, ease up
8) she takes her down, I take mine down? H/ell no, it dont work that way... Congrats I'm glad to hear she right there at the top 9/10 , so relocate. Before that stand your ground, in a none butt hurt way ( they get off that, a weird pleasure) maturely ask her if feelings for dude and past, is greater than a future with you? She can stop the BS, or cut your head. Either way you'll stop losing time wondering.
And again, as I'm taking you re advanced in this game thing ( won't assume was just luck) get u another 9-10 or fool around with one, we used to think with our head down there, even more after a weekend of deep pounding haha good luck bro! Keep us updated

 

[jaymbrs]

I think you missed a couple points here. She messaged me on the site. Spent her money and time flying to see me from the other side of the country. Her bringing up feelings of an ex then telling me in the next sentence that nothing can ever be because he is married now doesn't sound like she is not interested to me. Her signals were really mixed. The ex is a non issue. She even agreed to keep dating in like 2 texts exchanged....As soon as I said seems like you made up your mind and take care, she opened the door fully.

Then why are you asking us what we think if you say you know what the deal is with her?

 

[Vantagepoint34]

We had sex the entire time she was here. She invited me down to see her, even trying to take some of my stuff to force me to go see her. What do you mean by close this, sex happened. Relationship happened. But seems to be dying out quickly thanks to ex feelings assuming that's real.

oh nvm read wrong. In the end you said it was failing though. I assumed it failed. Going to read again. I sort of meant she's not having your kids.