How to gain a woman's interest back and not be boring

[ayydrewski]

Yes, stop talking, move on.

Yes you are being a puppet on a string, create a more interesting life for yourself.

Yes they do think differently, beta bucks guys are showing up on her radar where before they were not.

Women say all sorts of stuff, it doesn’t matter and it’s a red herring. They want to feel alive with positive emotions. A guy that can give her that and sex her good - she’ll backwards rationalize. Observe her behavior it is more truthful than anything out of her mouth.

That is what I will do, as of this morning she still tries to remain in contact sending me good morning text and calling me but I’m going to ignore so she gets attention from another beta. If what your saying is true she would have truly made an effort in meeting up with me and made some type of move. unfortunately I would like to make her part of a rotation but this doesn’t seem salvageable

@ShePays thats true but I have talked to her every day it seems to me like the excitement is lost and she is just craving for attention. I’m not expecting this woman to jump all over me but at least work with me

 

[The Diver]

texting each other good morning

Don't do that. You are not her girlfriend, and you didn't even fvcked her yet.
I never send good morning to any girl I dated, even LTR. It just sounds tacky and feminine.
If the girl sends me Good morning, I reply with something like, "Hey you, don't work too hard today, I don't want you exhausted in the evening " , or, "Yup, looking forward to seeing you tonight" , any s**t like that.

 

[ayydrewski]

Here is a little snippit of what I have recieved in the last 12 hours. She used to give emojis and be a little more playful. I cant help to seem she still has interests in me but it could also be a trap for my attention. Maybe it was me who set off friendly vibes to her, probably continue to leave the conversation for couple weeks until things get stable or next her completely?

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP,

I've read your same message 1000x on this board over the years. I'll go somewhat easy on you because you're only 23 and have few SS posts.

Here are my thoughts:

1- You blew it big time by "rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck" --only--during your first interaction. This coveys lack of confidence, assertiveness, and sexual prowess to her which is a huge turn off to women. She probably sees you as a p*ussy now for not escalating. In the future, JUST F*UCKING GO FOR IT. Take her drink out of her hand and/or pause the TV or whatever and thrown her back and kiss her, feel her, caress her LIKE A MAN. If she doesn’t like it she'll tell you.

2- You're way over-analyzing this whole thing. A true DJ would see where he screwed up, dump her and go NC, and just move on--smarter. It's 100x easier to start over with someone new, rather than trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube, as you're doing now.

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

You said you declined offers to help her kids with their homework. You're 23, so how old is she? Even if she's a few years older than you, say 26, kids don't do home until maybe 7-8 years old, so she had kids when she was...18-19? What does this say about her? Low moral compass, slutty, reckless, alpha widow--already, looking for a (sugar) daddy probably.

Good luck to you.

~Dash~

 

[NSX-R]

I started attracting women when i stopped trying to impress them or change my way for them .
Plus improve your mannerisms, be clean, hit the gym and be successful in your field . If you understand this then women will be automatically attracted.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Of course. How excited do you get reading text? Text doesn't make anyone hot. I would just refuse to do it, moving forward. Text is for transmitting data. Do data transmissions cause you nocturnal emissions? I'm doubting it.

Stop focusing on one girl at a time. Fish with a net, instead of a hook. Just keep moving forward until you don't even have time to respond to the girls who are trying to hit you up. If youre always meeting new people, every day, you'll always be meeting new girls you're interested in, and the ones who are interested in you won't need all the coaxing.

‘Fish with a net, not with a hook’
Ha, Love it !

 

[ayydrewski]

OP,

I've read your same message 1000x on this board over the years. I'll go somewhat easy on you because you're only 23 and have few SS posts.

Here are my thoughts:

1- You blew it big time by "rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck" --only--during your first interaction. This coveys lack of confidence, assertiveness, and sexual prowess to her which is a huge turn off to women. She probably sees you as a p*ussy now for not escalating. In the future, JUST F*UCKING GO FOR IT. Take her drink out of her hand and/or pause the TV or whatever and thrown her back and kiss her, feel her, caress her LIKE A MAN. If she doesn’t like it she'll tell you.

2- You're way over-analyzing this whole thing. A true DJ would see where he screwed up, dump her and go NC, and just move on--smarter. It's 100x easier to start over with someone new, rather than trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube, as you're doing now.

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

You said you declined offers to help her kids with their homework. You're 23, so how old is she? Even if she's a few years older than you, say 26, kids don't do home until maybe 7-8 years old, so she had kids when she was...18-19? What does this say about her? Low moral compass, slutty, reckless, alpha widow--already, looking for a (sugar) daddy probably.

Good luck to you.

~Dash~

Yeah Im over her nothing I really say or do that will change things at this point. In what circumstances would you let this chick start talking to you again or anyone with this behavior, she would have to be sending nudes or at least asking to see you again?

 

[bcude]

I would like to make her part of a rotation but this doesn’t seem salvageable

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

This is your action plan.

Also, she is a single mother of 35 and you're 23 and she expressed she only wants something casual?
This is a huge ego boost for her to know she "still got it" getting attention from a younger guy. I'd say she's looking for the D from a guy your age and you want to provide the D, so you know your goal. That's good. Now follow Dash's advice after she's been sweating for a while and see if she's on, if not you stop wasting time with her.

 

[ayydrewski]

This is your action plan.

Also, she is a single mother of 35 and you're 23 and she expressed she only wants something casual?
This is a huge ego boost for her to know she "still got it" getting attention from a younger guy. I'd say she's looking for the D from a guy your age and you want to provide the D, so you know your goal. That's good. Now follow Dash's advice after she's been sweating for a while and see if she's on, if not you stop wasting time with her.

You pretty much nailed the age difference and she expressed something casual during our first encounter. She still continues to text me today even for help and I keep ignoring. If I was too available from the beginning giving lots on non-s3xual attention and I messed up my opportunity I dont think that method would work. She knew that we were supposed to meetup today, and her attitude changed through text when I asked her out for a second "date" over the phone. Clearly she could see something is off if I go NC. I would bet she has low enough interest/respect now that she has friend-zoned me. I guess I could go two routes with this:

1) Ignore her forever as all is lost?
2) Disappear for a day. I might even go for at least two weeks up to a couple of months until i get my sh3t together. Then I can resume contact with the woman, act like nothing happened, try again, and friend zone her for b00ty only?

There is so much to game and different approaches you can take.

3- Quit playing kid games. Trying to act unavailable, aloof, whatever won’t work now. Your ONLY chance is to invite her back over on THIS day and THIS time, because that's when you're free. Give her advance notice so there's no excuses. If she accepts, be a man and get sexual--as far as you can go. If you're any good at all, you'll easily f*uck which will be a game changer. If she says "we'll see" again, it's "ok, bye" and you NEVER communicate with her again. Anything other than an enthusiastic "yes" from her is a NO. Got it?

How could you possibly jump straight to this route a woman could tell you were hurt when she didnt meet up with you and she didnt make a counter-offer?

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

You pretty much nailed the age difference and she expressed something casual during our first encounter. She still continues to text me today even for help and I keep ignoring. If I was too available from the beginning giving lots on non-s3xual attention and I messed up my opportunity I dont think that method would work. She knew that we were supposed to meetup today, and her attitude changed through text when I asked her out for a second "date" over the phone. Clearly she could see something is off if I go NC. I would bet she has low enough interest/respect now that she has friend-zoned me. I guess I could go two routes with this:

1) Ignore her forever as all is lost?
2) Disappear for a day. I might even go for at least two weeks up to a couple of months until i get my sh3t together. Then I can resume contact with the woman, act like nothing happened, try again, and friend zone her for b00ty only?

There is so much to game and different approaches you can take.




How could you possibly jump straight to this route a woman could tell you were hurt when she didnt meet up with you and she didnt make a counter-offer?

Easy, go find another woman to play with. Rolling stone gathers no moss. You are not rollin’, gathering moss and thinking too much about her, just move on and have more fun.

Interact with her once you are having more fun. It doesn’t matter what she makes up in between, if you are having fun and connect with her in the future from that space, she’ll backward rationalize it all.

The name of the game is FUN. Have MORE FUN in your life. The energy of FUN and playfulness is contagious !!

 

[ayydrewski]

Easy, go find another woman to play with. Rolling stone gathers no moss. You are not rollin’, gathering moss and thinking too much about her, just move on and have more fun.

Interact with her once you are having more fun. It doesn’t matter what she makes up in between, if you are having fun and connect with her in the future from that space, she’ll backward rationalize it all.

The name of the game is FUN. Have MORE FUN in your life. The energy of FUN and playfulness is contagious !!

So what your saying is have fun with playing with her. She keeps reaching out non-stop and asking me for more help today. I lost all respect for her and continue to ignore. I guess if I play my cards right I could be in control of this situation again? I would never want to dump a woman if I know I can lead her on and take advantage

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

So what your saying is have fun with playing with her. She keeps reaching out non-stop and asking me for more help today. I lost all respect for her and continue to ignore. I guess if I play my cards right I could be in control of this situation again? I would never want to dump a woman if I know I can lead her on and take advantage

A friend once told me this story, maybe it will help.
Imagine you have just gotten sentenced to life in prison no parole and you are the smallest person physically coming into this situation.

Now as you walk in, everyone is staring at you, you are the fresh piece of meat, that is all the value you have. You are gonna get fvcked, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, by who and how many.
What are you gonna do?

If you had any sense, you would quickly determine the biggest, baddest mother fvcker and fvck him. At least this way you only get fvcked by one person you don’t want to fvck so that he can keep all the other d1cks out of your azz.

This is very similar to what a women experiences coming into the world. Granted she might be blessed with good physical attributes, privileged in class and opportunity that she was born into yet she is still reduced in a very visceral way to an object.

With all that said, one can appreciate and have a sense of compassion for a women’s lot. When this is coupled to how they organize via in/out vs explicit ‘place in line’ hierarchy that men organize by, the brutality of it would mostly likely shrivel many a boys balls.

So to answer your question, yeah there is a possibility of turning it around with her but most likely not who you are now. You have to get some more experience under your belt with women who want to get sexual with you vs those you would have to convince, coerce or cajole. Starting with a clean slate with new prospects is the fastest way forward.

 

[ayydrewski]

A friend once told me this story, maybe it will help.
Imagine you have just gotten sentenced to life in prison no parole and you are the smallest person physically coming into this situation.

Now as you walk in, everyone is staring at you, you are the fresh piece of meat, that is all the value you have. You are gonna get fvcked, it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when, by who and how many.
What are you gonna do?

If you had any sense, you would quickly determine the biggest, baddest mother fvcker and fvck him. At least this way you only get fvcked by one person you don’t want to fvck so that he can keep all the other d1cks out of your azz.

This is very similar to what a women experiences coming into the world. Granted she might be blessed with good physical attributes, privileged in class and opportunity that she was born into yet she is still reduced in a very visceral way to an object.

With all that said, one can appreciate and have a sense of compassion for a women’s lot. When this is coupled to how they organize via in/out vs explicit ‘place in line’ hierarchy that men organize by, the brutality of it would mostly likely shrivel many a boys balls.

So to answer your question, yeah there is a possibility of turning it around with her but most likely not who you are now. You have to get some more experience under your belt with women who want to get sexual with you vs those you would have to convince, coerce or cajole. Starting with a clean slate with new prospects is the fastest way forward.

Yesterday I actually went and asked her if she wanted to be FWB with me and she said she is open to that. But the entire week she expresses low interest. Short replies and always checking on what Im doing. Maybe she is in her PMS phase, I disappeared for a couple of days and told her that I missed her but lied because I dont initiate convo anymore. How do you tell if a woman generally wants to talk to you vs she just wants to be noticed?

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Yesterday I actually went and asked her if she wanted to be FWB with me and she said she is open to that. But the entire week she expresses low interest. Short replies and always checking on what Im doing. Maybe she is in her PMS phase, I disappeared for a couple of days and told her that I missed her but lied because I dont initiate convo anymore. How do you tell if a woman generally wants to talk to you vs she just wants to be noticed?

Is she on the pill? If she is, that kinda fvks up her natural hormone cycle.

For women not on the pill, they generally get horny 2x a month, once during ovulation and the other time prior/during menstruation. Both times her tumescence increases. There are a couple of things that de-tumesce a woman, attention from a man, intercourse, exercise, eating are the top of the list.

 

[bcude]

You got great advice in the thread already but seems like you're still playing games, overthink things and don't get to the point.

Yesterday I actually went and asked her if she wanted to be FWB with me and she said she is open to that. But the entire week she expresses low interest.

Why didn't you ask her to come over instead of going back into the texting world where nothing happens? You won't text her into your bed.

Maybe she is in her PMS phase, I disappeared for a couple of days and told her that I missed her but lied because I dont initiate convo anymore. How do you tell if a woman generally wants to talk to you vs she just wants to be noticed?

Overthinking things, playing games, expressing feelings and even lieing? Wrong. This is feminine.
You're the man here, take the leader role. That would be to make something happen, or back off completely.

So what your saying is have fun with playing with her. She keeps reaching out non-stop and asking me for more help today. I lost all respect for her and continue to ignore. I guess if I play my cards right I could be in control of this situation again? I would never want to dump a woman if I know I can lead her on and take advantage

I feel the others are correct, you're not ready for this. Time would be better spent working on yourself, your mindset is not where it needs to be.

 

[ayydrewski]

You got great advice in the thread already but seems like you're still playing games, overthink things and don't get to the point.



Why didn't you ask her to come over instead of going back into the texting world where nothing happens? You won't text her into your bed.



Overthinking things, playing games, expressing feelings and even lieing? Wrong. This is feminine.
You're the man here, take the leader role. That would be to make something happen, or back off completely.




I feel the others are correct, you're not ready for this. Time would be better spent working on yourself, your mindset is not where it needs to be.

@Ohso-Phresh I wouldnt know if she was on the pill or not

@bcude I dont have my own place so thats a little bit harder to work with. I told her we could chill on Saturday but I never got a direct answer from her. Yeah Ive been staying focused on improving myself lately that could be why she stays interested I guess

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Unfortunately, the Pill also alters the type of men a woman is sexually attracted to, which is actually good news for the girly men, but bad news for civilization. If you're a Justin Beiber type, and met your bride while she was on the Pill, and the honeymoon is over, and ever since she went off the Pill, you're noticing her looking longingly at lumberjack types, it was the Pill.

Apparently, the endocrine disruption caused by the Pill retards a womans sexual development to the level of a 13 year old girl, when she still thinks Donnie Osmond, Michael Jackson, David Cassidy, and Prince are "sexy." Once she's off the Pill, she drops her castrato fixation, and starts developing an attraction for real men.

One day, when aliens land on this planet, and start excavating the decayed wreckage, they may piece together that the Pill was responsible for the downfall of human civilization.

I understand it has more to do with the sense of smell and whether a potential mate has a complimentary set of genes for future genetic survival. Being on the pill diminishes sense of smell.

Birth Control Pills Affect Women's Taste in Men

How synthetic hormones change desire in women—and their choice in a mate

www.scientificamerican.com

@ayydrewski just track on a calendar when she reaches out to you. It will have a cycle. Or just ask.

Personally, I encourage women that I see to get off the pill, it really fvcks them up. Then I keep track using the Billings method when they are ovulating and when their periods come to avoid pregnancies.

 

[ayydrewski]

Not an unlikely component, but similar studies have been done, using only photographs.

How do you typically deal with not having your own place is there other ways you can invite a girl to chill?

 

[ayydrewski]

You have roommates?

I still live with my parents right now

 

[Alvafe]

How do you typically deal with not having your own place is there other ways you can invite a girl to chill?

myself I never ask then to come to my house, or I go to they house, or I find a neutral ground, for closing the deal, same thing, her house or a motel.