Over 2 years still get nervours in front of crush

[Jamsmith]

I’ve talked to my crush on and off over 2 years
Mostly me initiate sometimes them

why do I still get nervours and how can I stop this?

I want to stop this as it’s did out to talk to them smile or say hi

They work with me

 

[tony.shai]

Ask out, get rejected, next and move on? Also spin more plates, the less you care the better off you are, I managed to learn this from this site and it does wonders.

 

[Jamsmith]

Ask out, get rejected, next and move on? Also spin more plates, the less you care the better off you are, I managed to learn this from this site and it does wonders.

told them years ago, I liked them, had a bf at that time no longer does
When I see them everyday still it’s horrible being nervous

 

[Robert28]

It’s because you haven’t had sex with her. That’s all that is. I was the same way around this girl for about 3 years. We weren’t friends but I had a thing for her and we’d see each other off and on. I never asked her out because I was always with someone else but eventually I was single and so was she. So we ended up sleeping together and my 3 year nervousness wasn’t suddenly gone.

 

[Jamsmith]

It’s because you haven’t had sex with her. That’s all that is. I was the same way around this girl for about 3 years. We weren’t friends but I had a thing for her and we’d see each other off and on. I never asked her out because I was always with someone else but eventually I was single and so was she. So we ended up sleeping together and my 3 year nervousness wasn’t suddenly gone.

sadly I don’t think that will ever happen with me and her, what else can I do

 

[Atom Smasher]

You need to become a man and stop this silly imagination of yours. It's all completely in your head. If you can't initiate a relationship with her, cut ties and move on.

No man should walk around thinking they have a "crush". Move on and design the life you want with a woman who is reachable. Tough love, bro. You need it. You are completely in a feminine mode.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

Insecurity is the reason you're nervous. I'm never nervous when I'm with my girl, the only time I was nervous was the first time we went on an official date and it left my body as soon as she came outof her house because I was secure I had her and I had already had sex with her before that. Hit it or find another girl or multiple because you're drenched in one-itis.

 

[tony.shai]

told them years ago, I liked them, had a bf at that time no longer does
When I see them everyday still it’s horrible being nervous

Look man you are already wasting your time. When I came to this site I was in your position, poor hopeless AFC. For three months I've been reading sh!t and lifting and dated more women than I ever did in my entire life so far. Read up the material on the bible, read the book of Pook, read Rollo's books. In the meantime, lift and try to talk to other women and meet as much as possible. The more you stay in this position the worse it becomes for you. I learnt this the hard way. While you're obsessing over this girl there's some guy ****ing her. I know it hurts, but this is the beauty of this site, truth is you will never bang her, it's oneitis.

 

[Robert28]

sadly I don’t think that will ever happen with me and her, what else can I do

I mean you honestly never know. I wouldn’t wait around on it to happen, I’d go meet other girls. You may get your shot later but if you don’t at least you won’t have wasted time on someone that wasn’t ever going to happen.

 

[zekko]

I would question what it is about you and your way of thinking that led you to value this girl more than the others?
Sounds like you have let your fantasies and imagination run wild a bit, and get ahead of reality.

Also, check out Glassguy's thread here:
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-top-5-mistakes-men-make-with-women.264819/

 

[Jamsmith]

I’m not trying to pull her anymore
Cos I see her everyday, and like her I want to stop being nervous how can I do this?

Also I am looking for other girls, I look online what elese can I meet other then work

 

[Atom Smasher]

Try meetup dot com. They have groups with various interests that meet up regularly. It might be a good place to start. Not sure if meetups are being curtailed because of the covid thing, but even if so, they will resume soon enough.

 

[Jamsmith]

Try meetup dot com. They have groups with various interests that meet up regularly. It might be a good place to start. Not sure if meetups are being curtailed because of the covid thing, but even if so, they will resume soon enough.

thanks for suggestion am on that not really connected with people, any other suggestions?

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

thanks for suggestion am on that not really connected with people, any other suggestions?

When you go to these meetups don't even think about getting laid, just have a good time. Keep having a good time and women that are interested will show you signs of interest. Keep focusing on having fun and let their signs become more and more obvious. At a point it'll feel effortless to get these women to do anything for you. Keep redirecting their advances into fun times and they will go absolutely nuts for you. Their attention may eventually wane but you'll start to notice periods when asking them on a date feels like child's play because they adore you so much.

 

[Suave88]

I’ve talked to my crush on and off over 2 years
Mostly me initiate sometimes them

why do I still get nervours and how can I stop this?

I want to stop this as it’s did out to talk to them smile or say hi

They work with me

Maybe, you don't know how to make ur way into her puzz......
U want to know lines to start a conversation, get close, and ask her out?
Or do you want cold approach?
Don't sit around pondering and asking yourself, like what r u gonna do stupid? When r u gonna make a move stupid, now stupid, no wait, later stupid......
Remember this line......nothing has ever been written about cowards....

 

[MrWood]

a crush is only a possible plate... so are a million others

go forth and prosper

 

[Jamsmith]

I want to hug (non sexual), yes she use hug other guys now moved department

And tell her true story, abt something that happend to me

Then move on, problem is if I ask her she says no or she says yes, hug is awkard,already sounds awkard just to ask, sounds so unatarul someone did ask her but they were mates

It still haunts me when I had perfect chance to ask for a hug, anthor guy asked and I didn’t say anything,because I was nervous

It kills me when we’ve texted in past or talked before and next day she totally ignores me

It tears me apart she doesn’t come and chat to me and use to go and chat to others guys

I done 40 approaches in one day on street with friends help asking direction saying dress looks nice etc all brevets went but next day came back, and couldn’t do any street approaches anymore to nervous

 

[Atom Smasher]

Not to sound trite, but it is true that attraction mimics the properties of magnets. Like poles repel, opposite poles attract.

Most men deal with women while projecting female energy, which is repulsive to them. They do not know this, they only feel it. They would never be able to tell you why they are repulsed.

In most interactions, the energy flows from the female to the male. Wrong, wrong, wrong! The energy must flow from male to female. This is how you establish dominance. Does anyone really think he is going to express dominance by being reactive and accommodating with her? You are molding yourself to her “form”, when she should be molding herself to yours.

We need to stop this feminine, sing-songy “please accept me” vibe when we talk to women.

This is why I always preach that we should “judge” women, a strong phrase which really means to subtly let them know that you are considering whether or not they are worth your time and attention. I’ve been trying to figure out how to better articulate this. Body language-wise, I notice that I lean back slightly when they talk, and my eyebrows are ever so slightly raised as if I’m evaluating them by what they’re saying. The result: They feel the tension necessary to start qualifying themselves to me. And they LOVE it! They are used to talking with “women” with male organs (most men). For them, speaking with a real, grounded male is a thrill. For a woman to be truly impressed with a man, she must consider him above her. It’s so easy to do.

All you need to do is to not give the slightest sh!t whether or not any particular girl likes you. Your interactions should be for your own entertainment and fun only. Secondarily, you are making a fun experience for others. You question her, you tease her and project that you are qualifying her, not the other way around. This is not mean or egotistical. This is what women crave.

Notice in that scenario which direction the driving energy is flowing. Banish the “I hope you like me, because I obviously like you” attitude once and for all. Don’t give yourself to her, as do many men do. Instead, evaluate her for her worthiness.

 

[xplt]

I want to hug (non sexual), yes she use hug other guys now moved department

And tell her true story, abt something that happend to me

Then move on, problem is if I ask her she says no or she says yes, hug is awkard,already sounds awkard just to ask, sounds so unatarul someone did ask her but they were mates

It still haunts me when I had perfect chance to ask for a hug, anthor guy asked and I didn’t say anything,because I was nervous

It kills me when we’ve texted in past or talked before and next day she totally ignores me

It tears me apart she doesn’t come and chat to me and use to go and chat to others guys

I done 40 approaches in one day on street with friends help asking direction saying dress looks nice etc all brevets went but next day came back, and couldn’t do any street approaches anymore to nervous

You are way too focused on that one single girl. I'm not the first to tell you this.

Let me tell you a similar story of mine.

I started a new job last year in march, my relationship with my ex was sour af and ended. I developed a kind of oneitis for a coworker who was chasing me nearly five months. But being new in the company and not over my past relationship I decided not to start something with a coworker. I wanted to stay focused on myself and my job. I didn't approach and she slowly pulled back, what caused me to want her to chase again, but I fell in a total wrong mindset and things between us went little bit awkward due to the vibes I was giving.
So I decided to get rid of her in my mind and met other girls, which made me somewhat indifferent towards her and guess what... the awkwardness between us disappeared and she was chasing again. This is going on and off till today. Push and pull from her side since a whole year.

The other option....

2). Designate her as only a friend. Completely withdraw all sexual interest inside of you. Decide she will not be worthy of such thoughts and treat her with pure indifference. But be sociable at the same time. Smile. Say hello. Tease. Joke. Walk away from all interactions before she does. Make her extend that time herself if she wants more. Believe that you’re fulfilled and she offers you nothing ( because she has given you nothing thus far).

I reached THIS mindset by dating other girls.

what lead to this

10) It all comes down to presence. Your unreactiveness to the pressures of life manifests itself physically in your presence. It is unmistakable to women and people. Your presence alone attracts women and commands respect from men.

and other point of @stormrider 's post. Read it and try to understand it.

It still haunts me when I had perfect chance to ask for a hug, anthor guy asked and I didn’t say anything,because I was nervous

It kills me when we’ve texted in past or talked before and next day she totally ignores me

It tears me apart she doesn’t come and chat to me and use to go and chat to others guys

You don't want to be where you're right now. Really, try to avoid her, be friendly and indifferent when you see her. Meet other women. Maybe you get a chance, but it shouldn't be your goal nor should the outcome be important to you when you get there.

 

[Visionist]

OP there is gold in this thread. Consider yourself blessed to receive this advice.

From now on, your oneitis exists purely to get you to read this thread again and again. That is her sole purpose in life.

To make you read this thread.