Over 2 years still get nervours in front of crush

[Wolfyu91]

Good stuff. I’m glad to see someone excel so fast from being on this forum. It’s encouraging to see. It tells me this forum works if you are willing to put in the work and not expect everything to be handed to you.

When I first came here in 2003, I was an 18 year old kid suffering from one itis. I remember writing stupid posts like “charisma is the ultimate weapon. Be like Tom cruise” and then getting flamed for it relentlessly. I must have gotten flamed for 10 pages. And I was dumb enough to write a part 2 and so I got flame for 20 pages. Back then there weren’t any mods to protect people.

It wasn’t until 2014 that I started posting again that i finally sounded like I had a clue what I was taking about.

I know first hand nervousness and anxiety requires a complete transformation. All those mental gymnastic advice are completely useless. No amount of self talk is going to put a dent in it. The guy has to transform into the next level version of himself.

In order to get over my nervousness and anxiety approaching women, I did the “apocalypse opener” close to 1000 times.

It’s when you go up to a woman and say “You’re fvcking sexy.” And if she responds positively, the next line is “you wanna come home with me?”

I didn’t do this because I wanted to work on my “game.” I did it to work on my frame. I was p1ssed that random women had that much effect on me that they would cause anxiety. I was experiencing massive cognitive dissonance where my mental was like “this is fvcking nothing” but my emotions would jump into “fight or flight” mode. I knew the obstacle was the way, and the only way was through. So I was commited to transforming myself into an emotionally unreactive beast.

The first 20 or so apocalypse openers were awkward. The women could sense my nervous energy. One woman even said “I can smell your fear.” Lol.

But then something happened after awhile. The nervous energy turned into excitement. Somehow the approach anxiety became approach excitement and I slipped into a “super state.”

When I finally started hooking and pulling from thesuper aggressive openor, I was stunned at what I discovered.....

1) The more dominant and aggressive you are, the more comfortable the women are. I was blown away. I thought for sure the more dominant and aggressive a guy is, the more women would be afraid. But it’s the opposite. Dominance polarizes women and puts them at ease.

Thats why you see douchebags going up to women in the most seemingly douchey ways as possible and the women are just completely comfortable.

In fact the more respectful you are, they more timid they are. They just mirror your comfort level.

2) There was a direct correlation between how emotionally unreactive I was and getting blown out harshly. If I didn’t care about women’s reactions, and I mean genuinely didn’t care, they would just giggle and feel flattered. As long as I maintained frame, there was never a harsh rejection. It’s as if women can see the dominance in your eyes and presence and there’s nothing they can do to frame you as beta. Women genuinely respect dominance and treat dominant men in civil way.

3) For years, my only game was hook on the super aggressive openor, figure out logistics, and eacalate. There was nothing else. Everything else to me was mental masturbation.

You discover a woman’s interest level right away, and you take it from point A to point Z. There’s no conversational a nice-ties, beating around the bush, or anything confusing.

4) I became so comfortable expressing sexual intent that I stopped talking to women. There were times when I was in LA and a woman would make eye contact with me and because I’ve seen that sexual look a thousand times, I would instinctual go up to her and start making out with her right away. It’s like the both of us are in sync despite never saying a word to each other.

5) Women are completely connected to the world of sexual tension. Most of the stuff guys do that they think is game is actually a complete waste of time. If you express that you also live in this world of sexual tension through your sub communications, they will give you the most obvious signals and even seduce you.

6) And that leads me to women are the real seducers. Once I became 100% congruent as a sexually confident guy who’s completely unreactive to women, I stopped seducing. When the women can spot that you are part of the “in crowd”, they will actually treat you differently from the rest of the males. They will give you the most obvious sexual signals, invite you to be alone, or ask you if there’s a dark corner around.

7) I went through this transformation by doing 1 thing and 1 thing only. I did what gave me anxiety and transmuted it into excitement and power. It was emotional alchemy.

Now that I’m 35 I can’t imagine feeling any which way about women. I can approach 100 and feel absolutely nothing so it doesn’t really serve me to act like a Pua.

8) The whole game is frame. Figure out what gives you social pressure, and attack it head on. This will transform you into the next level of emotional unreactiveness and internal dominance.

9) Once you reach higher levels of internal dominance, the same things that use to spike your emotions no longer affect you the same way. You will even reach a point where romance just seems petty to you. And women will know it too. They will stop testing you. Your presence broadcasts a vibe that is too dominant for them to believe they have any effect on you. If anything, they will neg you to knock you off your pedestal instead.

10) It all comes down to presence. Your unreactiveness to the pressures of life manifests itself physically in your presence. It is unmistakable to women and people. Your presence alone attracts women and commands respect from men.

In conclusion, I’m not saying approaching in a dominant and aggressive way changed my entire presence. It was just one Pressure that I conquered. The other pressure was talking in front of a crowd.

The more life pressures you conquer, the more internal dominance you will develop as a man. The ultimate goal is to reach a level where very little pressure affects you.

For a majority of men, women have a crippling effect on them, so they are good practice.

I never once cared about game or results. To me it was all about frame. I wouldnt stop until I felt completely dominant around women. And ironically, this is 100% of game because once you reach a certain level, women will just seduce you.

Of course, not all women will seduce you. Only the ones physically attracted to you. This is a post about internal dominance and frame. It is only a small fraction of the entire SMV scale.

You have defined game the realest way. Best I have read till now. After years of experience and learning in life could someone finally define it like that.

 

[dude99]

I’ve talked to my crush on and off over 2 years
Mostly me initiate sometimes them

why do I still get nervours and how can I stop this?

I want to stop this as it’s did out to talk to them smile or say hi

They work with me

Take her off the pedestal. The only reason is you are nervous is because you have put her on a pedestal and believe she is above you and if she "says yes" then you have won the prize. Wrong mentality.

If she was just an ordinary girl you wouldnt be nervous. You wouldn't care if she said yes or if she said no.

Take her off the pedestal. You treat the 6 and the 10 the same. She is just one of many other girls who will get the opportunity to date you. That is it. She gets an opportunity to date you when you ask her out. Whether she blows her chance or not is her problem.

Ask her out. Ask a dozen girls out. Ask a 100 girls out. Dont focus on putting her on a pedestal. Focus on improving yourself.

 

[dude99]

sadly I don’t think that will ever happen with me and her, what else can I do

With this mentality it won't.

 

[Jamsmith]

Take her off the pedestal. The only reason is you are nervous is because you have put her on a pedestal and believe she is above you and if she "says yes" then you have won the prize. Wrong mentality.

If she was just an ordinary girl you wouldnt be nervous. You wouldn't care if she said yes or if she said no.

Take her off the pedestal. You treat the 6 and the 10 the same. She is just one of many other girls who will get the opportunity to date you. That is it. She gets an opportunity to date you when you ask her out. Whether she blows her chance or not is her problem.

Ask her out. Ask a dozen girls out. Ask a 100 girls out. Dont focus on putting her on a pedestal. Focus on improving yourself.

other then gym how elese can I improve myself

 

[Visionist]

Have hobbies, ones that get you out there in the world and interacting with many people, women and men. It's all on hold for now because of the virus but you can start doing research on what you'd like to try getting into.

I didn't discover my social, outdoorsy hobby until I was trapped in a chemotherapy ward all day every day for months, watching videos non stop.