Why Women Don't Enjoy Being Cold Approached

[jerrycalahan]

I had an odd experience the other day. I walked by a temp agency and they had a list of jobs that needed to be filled listed on the window. I was interested in perhaps landing a part time gig on the weekend so I took a look, then moved on. It was past 5, and the door wasn't open so I just assumed they were closed.

I hadn't walked 15 feet when someone began running after me. I thought maybe I had dropped something. It turns out someone had been manning the office and had seen me reading the flier. He began talking my ear off and out of politeness, I heard him out. He said he was a new employee of the agency and they had tons of openings. I was trying to be polite since I assumed I would have future contact with him and he might help me land a part time job in the future.

He invited me in to fill out some information. I filled out a bit of basic info in the office, but he was starting to talk my ear off again and I was pretty eager to leave, but still feeling like I should be polite since he seemed to have an "in." I reached for the door at this point, but he would not shut up. I had to finally cut off the conversation saying I had to leave (I did).

Initially, I was glad he came out to greet me (lucky day for me that an employee was actually in). But then later in the day I realized he was gay and everything he was saying was sort of a filibuster to keep me around to see how long I'd hang out with him. Yeah, once in the office, he tried to get more of a time commitment out of me, offering me certain conveniences to make my day a little easier. He also invited me out to coffee, dropping a minor compliment in the process.

But really what gave it away was that he asked about my job background then he eyed me up and down and then stared at me crotch level and said "I bet you can do a lot of things." Super creepy but otherwise he disguised his intentions fairly well. I didn't mind chatting with him briefly, but he did a good job of using a part time job as bait to occupy my time and try to entice me into God knows what.

This is the fundamental problem with cold approach. it's a matter of trust. Guys complain about how difficult "closing" a cold approach is, how women are bitches or have a bitchshield, or they hate men or whatever, but they don't ever think what it's like to be on the receiving end. You have no idea who you're talking to in a cold approach. The dude could literally be a serial killer or wack job or a socially awkward clumsy oaf who doesn't know when to end a conversation.

Add to that, the guys who are most likely cold approaching are those who don't have a social circle. Guys who aren't part of a social circles are generally speaking (not always) guys who have below average social skills. So take heart. If a woman rejects you, or seems not so interested in talking during a cold approach, maybe it's not you per se (sometimes it is), maybe she's just uncomfortable speaking to a man she's never met and is concerned about her safety and well being. In other words, be a little bit empathetic when cold approaching.

 

[Prettyboy Dee]

Women love being cold approached, by aesthetic and cool guys.......women dont want lames, uncool and ugly guys approaching them

 

[jerrycalahan]

True, women enjoy being approached by higher status, good looking men. But both of those categories are perhaps 20% of the male population. If a woman wants a man who is both high status and good looking, the percentage of men she'll be receptive to is even lower still (maybe 1 out of 10?). Most of the men who are higher status and/or good looking are already married or in relationships already.

The men who are most likely to be cold approaching are either seeking a short term relationship or are lower status men who are cold approaching randomly due to a lack of options within their social circles or because they don't have a social circle.

 

[17 shots]

Are you in California? I've had experiences too where guys were going out of their way to be cool with me, and then I find out later they're gay. I swear I never experienced it this much until I moved out here. Cali is full of gay dudes

I don't trust ANY dude that tries to befriend me anymore lmao. As soon as a guy talks about hanging out or something I'm like this dude is suspect. They start asking you things about yourself, like how old are you, what do you like to do outside of work... I'm like back up bro

 

[17 shots]

But really what gave it away was that he asked about my job background then he eyed me up and down and then stared at me crotch level and said "I bet you can do a lot of things." Super creepy but otherwise he disguised his intentions fairly well. I didn't mind chatting with him briefly, but he did a good job of using a part time job as bait to occupy my time and try to entice me into God knows what.
.

Lmfao ahahaha.... yo one time when I used to work at this warehouse, I had on some sweat pants, and I seen a guy in the break room looking at my junk as I was walking towards him, and he did the gayest creepy smile while he looked. I felt so violated and uncomfortable

What's funny is that earlier that day I heard that same guy making fun of another dude for being gay. I guess it's true what they say about a lot of homophobes being secretly gay themselves

 

[skinnyguy]

Most of the men who are higher status and/or good looking are already married or in relationships already.

Exactly.

Just like top notch women, the top notch men get taken very early on in their lives. They are not likely to cold approach, as they don't need to. Like ever.

Cold approach seems like a signal to a woman that you're thirsty and desperate.

I know that many PUAs will say that you have nothing to lose, and it will help you get rid of your anxiety. This is true. If you want to do it for practice, go ahead. But like OP said, a lot of women have their bish shields up and fear for their safety. Women screen a lot more than men do. For men, if the person has a vagina, that's enough to go out with them.

 

[17 shots]

Exactly.

Just like top notch women, the top notch men get taken very early on in their lives. They are not likely to cold approach, as they don't need to. Like ever.

Cold approach seems like a signal to a woman that you're thirsty and desperate.

I know that many PUAs will say that you have nothing to lose, and it will help you get rid of your anxiety. This is true. If you want to do it for practice, go ahead. But like OP said, a lot of women have their bish shields up and fear for their safety. Women screen a lot more than men do. For men, if the person has a vagina, that's enough to go out with them.

You're forgetting that a lot women don't mind you having a girlfriend or wife and have no problem being the chick on the side, so they won't see you as a thirsty loser, they'll just think you're player type. Which is what a lot of them like

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You're forgetting that a lot women don't mind you having a girlfriend or wife and have no problem being the chick on the side, so they won't see you as a thirsty loser, they'll just think you're player type. Which is what a lot of them like

Your main GF can be a responsible and loyal heavier chick even. Females don't care. They just like to know they are getting you to "cheat".

 

[17 shots]

Your main GF can be a responsible and loyal heavier chick even. Females don't care. They just like to know they are getting you to "cheat".

Yup, and they love that you're being honest about it and not trying to hide the fact that you're seeing someone else. Something about the fact that you're keeping it real with them turns them on

When I was 21 I used to date these two girls that lived in the same neighborhood and knew each other. They would both see my car outside the other ones house. I even accidentally called one of them the other girls name by mistake once while we were driving. You'd think she'd leave me alone after that but nope, it went on for a while... man those were fun times foreal. It taught me a lot too

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Your main GF can be a responsible and loyal heavier chick even. Females don't care. They just like to know they are getting you to "cheat".

Actually if you're going to be a PLAYER i RECOMMEND HAVING a

Yup, and they love that you're being honest about it and not trying to hide the fact that you're seeing someone else. Something about the fact that you're keeping it real with them turns them on

When I was 21 I used to date these two girls that lived in the same neighborhood and knew each other. They would both see my car outside the other ones house. I even accidentally called one of them the other girls name by mistake once while we were driving. You'd think she'd leave me alone after that but nope, it went on for a while... man those were fun times foreal. It taught me a lot too

I think having that "SOLID" heavier and solid earning GF babe should be a pre-requisite to your system if your going to be a "PLAYER".

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yup, and they love that you're being honest about it and not trying to hide the fact that you're seeing someone else. Something about the fact that you're keeping it real with them turns them on

When I was 21 I used to date these two girls that lived in the same neighborhood and knew each other. They would both see my car outside the other ones house. I even accidentally called one of them the other girls name by mistake once while we were driving. You'd think she'd leave me alone after that but nope, it went on for a while... man those were fun times foreal. It taught me a lot too

Dude it's the secrecy that makes it hot!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Ever since I got my sh!t handled with women, I've somehow (don't ask me how) became a bit of a chick magnet. Pretty much anywhere I go, I get interest from women. The thing is, sometimes I SOOO don't want to engage when they approach.

That's how I can understand how it is for women. You just want to have a peaceful day and not engage with strangers, and you have to engage reluctantly. It's extremely annoying.

Interestingly, when I didn't have my sh!t together, the gay boys used to come on to me and drop hints. Now they pretty much leave me alone and in fact seem to have a distrustful demeanor when I'm around. I must be radiating something. It can't be all bad because the chicks dig it and the gays are afraid. I'm quite friendly with the gay guys I come in contact with, and I guess they're a bit relieved when I speak to them.

 

[biggoal]

Or maybe cold approach the hb 7.5 variety. Still hot but not super hot. Hb9 will have guard up.

 

[17 shots]

Every since I got my sh!t handled with women, I've somehow (don't ask me how) became a bit of a chick magnet. Pretty much anywhere I go, I get interest from women. The thing is, sometimes I SOOO don't want to engage when they approach.

Thant's how I can understand how it is for women. You just want to have a peaceful day and not engage with strangers, and you have to engage reluctantly. It's extremely annoying.

How dare you sympathize with our prey

 

[17 shots]

Or maybe cold approach the hb 7.5 variety. Still hot but not super hot. Hb9 will have guard up.

Or make sure you see some obvious signals first, or at least some eye contact. I'm not a fan of the super cold approaching. I prefer it to be a little warm first. I used to go in cold when I was younger and it just lead to a lot of unnecessarily weird and awkward situations

 

[biggoal]

Or make sure you see some obvious signals first, or at least some eye contact. I'm not a fan of the super cold approaching. I prefer it to be a little warm first. I used to go in cold when I was younger and it just lead to a lot of unnecessarily weird and awkward situations

And especially these days were people in general hate talking to strangers and dont want to be bothered. 40 years ago yes probably not as bad as people in general more friendly.

 

[Medina]

Every since I got my sh!t handled with women, I've somehow (don't ask me how) became a bit of a chick magnet. Pretty much anywhere I go, I get interest from women. The thing is, sometimes I SOOO don't want to engage when they approach.

Thant's how I can understand how it is for women. You just want to have a peaceful day and not engage with strangers, and you have to engage reluctantly. It's extremely annoying.

Interestingly, when I didn't have my sh!t together, the gay boys used to come on to me and drop hints. Now they pretty much leave me alone and in fact seem to have a distrustful demeanor when I'm around. I must be radiating something. It can't be all bad because the chicks dig it and the gays are afraid. I'm quite friendly with the gay guys I come in contact with, and I guess they're a bit relieved when I speak to them.

I got a twin brother (non-identical) and we sometimes hit clubs. He is actively seeking a woman. I am not. He is rejected over and over. I am not. He does not get approached. I do

The difference is blunt and it's a great experiment but it also highlights the cruelty of life. Those with their sh!t together get all the options, while guys who are down on their luck have to settle for nothing

I could never explain the redpill to my brother. The truth would probably kill him. And so I am constantly reminded of female nature every time we go out, while he just "doesn't get it"

 

[17 shots]

Being from San Francisco, I’ve had guys act like the perfect wingman, toss their girls to me, pay for every drink, and invite me to the coolest parties - all as an elaborate plan to seduce me 3 months down the road. I would think to myself “Man, he was the perfect wingman. Except this whole entire time I was the target.”

Hell yea, them trying to hook you up with women, toss one of their old flings your way, or bang a chick together with you is one of the biggest signs. I guess it makes sense, because most straight guys aren't interested in sharing women. I've experienced the drinks thing too, and they'll buy you food. You think someone is just being a genuine real friend and then you have to start ignoring calls and texts...You're the only person I've ever seen understand this

 

[RangerMIke]

There is nothing wrong with what is called 'cold approach'. This is what I usually do. The only time it becomes a problem is when a dude tries to make something happen when it's clear the woman is not interested. Do this enough and you learn not to waste time with women that are not interested and you leave them the fvck alone. Dudes that continue to push to try and make something happen is when you get b!tchy chicks.

Just start conversations with any woman you are interested in, and gauge her response, if she is open get her number or make a date.... then you get to see if she is actually willing to met up with you. Success rates are low... but if you do this all the time you do get results. Some of the PUA videos I've seen is just cringe-worthy. Teaching men to be peacocking jack@sses. A vast majority of women I meet never gets past just casual small talk, and more than half of women I meet who actually give me their numbers or make dates, actually ever really meet up with me.

I've never really given it much thought on what the actual numbers are, but I'm guessing less than 10% of all women I approach actually meet me out.

 

[Kotaix]

Exactly.

Just like top notch women, the top notch men get taken very early on in their lives. They are not likely to cold approach, as they don't need to. Like ever.

Cold approach seems like a signal to a woman that you're thirsty and desperate.

I know that many PUAs will say that you have nothing to lose, and it will help you get rid of your anxiety. This is true. If you want to do it for practice, go ahead. But like OP said, a lot of women have their bish shields up and fear for their safety. Women screen a lot more than men do. For men, if the person has a vagina, that's enough to go out with them.

This is quite wrong.

Cold approaching as a thirsty and desperate guy will make you come across as desperate and thirsty.
Cold approaching as a confident guy will make you come across as confident and attractive.

A confident, good man will be able to set a woman at ease and get her smiling during a cold approach, a desperate guy will not.

True, women enjoy being approached by higher status, good looking men. But both of those categories are perhaps 20% of the male population. If a woman wants a man who is both high status and good looking, the percentage of men she'll be receptive to is even lower still (maybe 1 out of 10?). Most of the men who are higher status and/or good looking are already married or in relationships already.

Not really. Being alpha is a state of mind, not a demographic. It's something that can be lost in an instant. They key is being able to realize when this loss happens.

A man of lesser looks who is confident has the advantage over a man of superior looks who is insecure. Status is another matter, but status itself comes from a man's confidence in himself. An insecure man isn't likely to succeed the same way a confident man does.


The difference is in your mindset and the way you view the world.