I had an odd experience the other day. I walked by a temp agency and they had a list of jobs that needed to be filled listed on the window. I was interested in perhaps landing a part time gig on the weekend so I took a look, then moved on. It was past 5, and the door wasn't open so I just assumed they were closed.
I hadn't walked 15 feet when someone began running after me. I thought maybe I had dropped something. It turns out someone had been manning the office and had seen me reading the flier. He began talking my ear off and out of politeness, I heard him out. He said he was a new employee of the agency and they had tons of openings. I was trying to be polite since I assumed I would have future contact with him and he might help me land a part time job in the future.
He invited me in to fill out some information. I filled out a bit of basic info in the office, but he was starting to talk my ear off again and I was pretty eager to leave, but still feeling like I should be polite since he seemed to have an "in." I reached for the door at this point, but he would not shut up. I had to finally cut off the conversation saying I had to leave (I did).
Initially, I was glad he came out to greet me (lucky day for me that an employee was actually in). But then later in the day I realized he was gay and everything he was saying was sort of a filibuster to keep me around to see how long I'd hang out with him. Yeah, once in the office, he tried to get more of a time commitment out of me, offering me certain conveniences to make my day a little easier. He also invited me out to coffee, dropping a minor compliment in the process.
But really what gave it away was that he asked about my job background then he eyed me up and down and then stared at me crotch level and said "I bet you can do a lot of things." Super creepy but otherwise he disguised his intentions fairly well. I didn't mind chatting with him briefly, but he did a good job of using a part time job as bait to occupy my time and try to entice me into God knows what.
This is the fundamental problem with cold approach. it's a matter of trust. Guys complain about how difficult "closing" a cold approach is, how women are bitches or have a bitchshield, or they hate men or whatever, but they don't ever think what it's like to be on the receiving end. You have no idea who you're talking to in a cold approach. The dude could literally be a serial killer or wack job or a socially awkward clumsy oaf who doesn't know when to end a conversation.
Add to that, the guys who are most likely cold approaching are those who don't have a social circle. Guys who aren't part of a social circles are generally speaking (not always) guys who have below average social skills. So take heart. If a woman rejects you, or seems not so interested in talking during a cold approach, maybe it's not you per se (sometimes it is), maybe she's just uncomfortable speaking to a man she's never met and is concerned about her safety and well being. In other words, be a little bit empathetic when cold approaching.
