No contact, she reached out

RicBoy

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Story is complicated but ill keep it short.
Dated a girl for 7 months. I was unemployed, nothing much going on in my life and I ended up smothering her (her words) and she left me. Before she left me, she became distant for a couple of weeks, because I became very needy, smothering her, and in one fight, I pushed her and shouted at her, and she took this as violence and kicked me out. I begged for 1 month and showed up unannounced to her house once. She blocked me everywhere and threat me with police. I figured this was done.

1 month went by, and my other ex (my kids mom) who is now single came to visit me and spent Xmas at my place and brought my kid with her. We spent holidays together as friends for the kid. We hugged through the night but no sex. We have been broken up for 8 years.

For my surprise, my ex texted me "hope all is well with you.... Can I come to pick up your son to hangout with my daughter?"...i said ok. We exchange a few texts, I asked for coffee she said no. She picked up my son, he went over her place for the night and she brought him back next day. My other ex, my kid's mom handled the exchange, so I didn't see my ex. I was working anyways..

The mother of my kid left (she lives in another country). 3 weeks went by and my last ex again contacts me "have you seen a book of mine....?"... I said nope and again asked her for coffee.. She goes.. "I don't want anything to do with you, I'm only interested in the connection between your son and my daughter"... Then she calls me twice.. Telling me "what do you want from me?", I said "I wanna try again", she goes "I don't have any feelings for you, even if I had 1% interest in you, I'd never take you back after you spent Xmas in bed with your son's mother"... I Iost it and went right back to my old chasing begging behaviour, sent her maybe 10 texts, 5 emails, telling her my feelings and all that crap. So back to no contact, it has been a week now.

She will reach out again in 2 weeks when my son comes to visit me for the holidays to go over her place to spend time with her daughter. My ex and my son are in touch almost daily through WhatsApp.

What to do? Reply polite, short to her texts, no more coffee invitations, no initiating? No more relationship, get back feelings talk?

Also when she picks and drops off my kid, I know for fact she thinks I'm waiting for this moment to see her and talk to her (we broke up 3 months ago, haven't seen her in 2), I think I'm going to give an excuse and be at work, my kid is 9, he can come down by himself. I don't think I wanna see her, especially after chasing her 2 weeks ago.
 

RicBoy

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My kids mom doesn't matter. I still want my last ex back.
 

RicBoy

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Why is she so hellbent on keeping a relationship with your son?
No idea man. I tried to cut it off, she begged not to. Even said "so your son can't have friends unless your fk their moms?"
 

Glassguy

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Woman wants to come borrow your kid so her daughter has someone to play with yet she doesnt want anything to do with you and she has made that abundantly clear?

WTF dude. Tell that chick to go kick rocks. Why would you want your kid around her? Why would you even answer her texts and calls at this point?
 

17 shots

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Why is she so hellbent on keeping a relationship with your son?
This... and they communicate daily on what's app? Like wtf, is she a pedophile. Idc how cool your son and her daughter are, that's weird af
 

derby1

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why do you let your lad go off with an ex whos not his mom, NO MORE MR NICE GUY

what would you do, if your son was letting his son go and play with an ex whos dumped him?
 

RicBoy

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He went over the Xmas, she bought him lots of presents I guess she likes the kids together. The kids talk a lot in WhatsApp. Yeah, she made it very clear she won't be back to me, even tho I have hope. Having said that I had exs who also made it clear and came back.

Question is should I avoid her when she comes to pick up the kid? Busy work, I don't think I wanna see her at this point. Been begging 2 weeks ago, too early. She doesn't want to come for coffee, not likely see me face to face will do any good either.

Im hoping that stay in no contact, reply to her short polite texts, not invite her, and show no interest will spark some interest on her part?
 

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derby1

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Im hoping that stay in no contact, reply to her short polite texts, not invite her, and show no interest will spark some interest on her part?
no contact is for you to get emotional clarity as a person, not to get her back, you clearly are fawning over this woman, and are currently weak , she knows how much you crave to validate her every move, hence why shes so disinterested , thats her version of sex rinsing you of validation....

your 5 cars behind her on a way street, turn off at your next left
 

RicBoy

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You should say "YEP"
I think I'm gonna met the kids meet.
How do u think I should handle the communication? Reply short, dry polite, no invitations. Or kinda flirty a little. Keep in mind I chased and beeged 1 month...
 

RicBoy

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no contact is for you to get emotional clarity as a person, not to get her back, you clearly are fawning over this woman, and are currently weak , she knows how much you crave to validate her every move, hence why shes so disinterested , thats her version of sex rinsing you of validation....

your 5 cars behind her on a way street, turn off at your next left
What to do then man? Assuming the kids will meet. My kid comes to visit me like 5 times a year, and she will probably always will reach out about it... If not breadcrumbs between also, like some random "have u see my book msg"
 

RicBoy

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validated her again

keep going bro keep going

she knows she can text you in 4 years, and you'll pause sleepless in Seattle, launch off the sofa and pick her up right away jan 2024

why? cause your teaching her that, thats why
I'm not reaching out anymore that's for sure. Been 2 weeks since she sent me a breadcrumb and I went right back to chasing her.

But I'm going to need to reply to her texts about the kid soon. Even see her at the exchanges, which I will avoid at least this time. I'll be busy at work or something so she doesn't think I'm here killing myself for her..
 

RicBoy

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and in that time your so weak you let an ex have him? what kind of masculine frame is this?

your trolling bro
The mother of my kid, said to let him see her daughter. And not let my problems with her, be between the kids friendship.
 

RicBoy

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Any chance to spark any interest on this girl?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Story is complicated but ill keep it short.
Dated a girl for 7 months. I was unemployed, nothing much going on in my life and I ended up smothering her (her words) and she left me. Before she left me, she became distant for a couple of weeks, because I became very needy, smothering her, and in one fight, I pushed her and shouted at her, and she took this as violence and kicked me out. I begged for 1 month and showed up unannounced to her house once. She blocked me everywhere and threat me with police. I figured this was done.

1 month went by, and my other ex (my kids mom) who is now single came to visit me and spent Xmas at my place and brought my kid with her. We spent holidays together as friends for the kid. We hugged through the night but no sex. We have been broken up for 8 years.

For my surprise, my ex texted me "hope all is well with you.... Can I come to pick up your son to hangout with my daughter?"...i said ok. We exchange a few texts, I asked for coffee she said no. She picked up my son, he went over her place for the night and she brought him back next day. My other ex, my kid's mom handled the exchange, so I didn't see my ex. I was working anyways..

The mother of my kid left (she lives in another country). 3 weeks went by and my last ex again contacts me "have you seen a book of mine....?"... I said nope and again asked her for coffee.. She goes.. "I don't want anything to do with you, I'm only interested in the connection between your son and my daughter"... Then she calls me twice.. Telling me "what do you want from me?", I said "I wanna try again", she goes "I don't have any feelings for you, even if I had 1% interest in you, I'd never take you back after you spent Xmas in bed with your son's mother"... I Iost it and went right back to my old chasing begging behaviour, sent her maybe 10 texts, 5 emails, telling her my feelings and all that crap. So back to no contact, it has been a week now.

She will reach out again in 2 weeks when my son comes to visit me for the holidays to go over her place to spend time with her daughter. My ex and my son are in touch almost daily through WhatsApp.

What to do? Reply polite, short to her texts, no more coffee invitations, no initiating? No more relationship, get back feelings talk?

Also when she picks and drops off my kid, I know for fact she thinks I'm waiting for this moment to see her and talk to her (we broke up 3 months ago, haven't seen her in 2), I think I'm going to give an excuse and be at work, my kid is 9, he can come down by himself. I don't think I wanna see her, especially after chasing her 2 weeks ago.
Cuddled but no sex? We don't believe in that shyt over here!
 
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