Unconditional love and marriage

[Pandora]

I had unconditional love for my first wife. Now some 15 x years, 20 x some sexual partners, several failed LTRs of a year or more, and a fake marriage to a bigamist that was annulled; I’ll never love that way again. It’s not possible. I can still love but now I can get out of love much quicker then I can get in it. And not look back.

The "love" you feel for the first girl you fall for is the strongest. My question to you is how do you know that it was unconditional bro?
Would you have cared for your first wife if she suddenly became a vegetable ( God forbid). I am just curious as to how strong your loyalty was. Would you have stayed if she became obese but had the same personality? Just wondering

 

[RickTheToad]

Ive had three gfs that I broke up with because of weight issues. I am conflicted on whether I should feel guilty. Sometimes I feel incredibly shallow and guilty for this. Other times I feel justified in losing interest because of their weight.

One girl was incredibly cute and slim before she left for her home nation ( Australia). When she came back she looked like a different person. I didn't mistreat her but I treated her with less enthusiasm. Before she left we were in "love" but when she came back I was no longer feeling it. It hurt her badly. We broke it off shortly after this,

I wouldn't want a girl to dump me if I ever fall on my face financially but weight gain and financial issues are different. Weight gain is 100% in control of a person. Jobs and status are mostly in the hands of other people. What are your thoughts?

Agreed to a point. Weight has always been a sticking point with me. However, when I see they are working on it, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt if all other issues are fine. Sex good, takes care of things, etc. However, if it doesn't improve, I exit. I think this is part of me viewing myself losing so much weight, there is no reason why anyone else can't either. I've done the work and here are the results. Finances is a little tricky as if one doesn't continue to improve themselves, they will have career issues and have problems have a comfortable life. Years ago, I had a lady I was head over heals for, and it seemed the same for her to me. However, we made around the same amount of money, so she changed her mind on us. I said okay, bye and take care. She then tried to backpedal, but her true nature had been exposed. Once it is over, it's over. She was easily one of the most attractive ladies I've dated, but it came down to the $$$. The hotter the lady, the more hurdles a dude has to jump through. At 38, I do not want to jump through these huddles, so I have be a bit more forgiving on what I require to ride with me in life. It is a tough decision.

 

[Poonani Maker]

haha why jewel? Something about her rubs you the wrong way?

I could never have "unconditional love" for a woman who got her "start" in the music business staying over at Neil Young's house and ruminating with the old musicians and honing her skills and being showered with praise, and constantly being "worshiped" like a "jewel" and singing songs that say, "You were meant for me...and I-I-I-I-I-I was meant for...you..." so so so passionately, then she marries a rodeo cowboy star and divorces him after 10 years (true-be-told they probably held on way longer than they should have, we don't Know, just a hunch). Can't unconditionally love that, plus she has lesbian tendencies, fvcked up teeth never fixed but I understand cause it's kinda her signature or trademark (so she's smart not fixing them with her millions). She's obviously a parrot of a feminist repeating the same ole lines "Women are great" "men are terrible" nah nah, you've just been PRAISED the majority of your youthful life by older men, and young, and you have a severely Warped sense of yourself and if you didn't have that good voice then you'd be Still over-assessing your "greatness as a woman" due to all the praise from looks Alone. "Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord" is hard for women to accept. Also, she might have been trailer park livin if these old men hadn't taken an interest in making her famous.

 

[RickTheToad]

I could never have "unconditional love" for a woman who got her "start" in the music business staying over at Neil Young's house and ruminating with the old musicians and honing her skills and being showered with praise, and constantly being "worshiped" like a "jewel" and singing songs that say, "You were meant for me...and I-I-I-I-I-I was meant for...you..." so so so passionately, then she marries a rodeo cowboy star and divorces him after 10 years (true-be-told they probably held on way longer than they should have, we don't Know, just a hunch). Can't unconditionally love that, plus she has lesbian tendencies, fvcked up teeth never fixed but I understand cause it's kinda her signature or trademark (so she's smart not fixing them with her millions). She's obviously a parrot of a feminist repeating the same ole lines "Women are great" "men are terrible" nah nah, you've just been PRAISED the majority of your youthful life by older men, and young, and you have a severely Warped sense of yourself and if you didn't have that good voice then you'd be Still over-assessing your "greatness as a woman" due to all the praise from looks Alone. "Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord" is hard for women to accept. Also, she might have been trailer park livin if these old men hadn't taken an interest in making her famous.

LOL. I remember that. In terms of looks, she was so much higher than that dude; at that time. Never understood why she married him, as she earned and was worth a lot more than a cowboy; in terms of financial means. It didn't last 10 years though, only six.

I didn't know she had f ucked up teeth. I cannot find any pics of her smiling with her teeth. Maybe it's an Alaska thing?

 

[Pandora]

Years ago, I had a lady I was head over heals for, and it seemed the same for her to me. However, we made around the same amount of money, so she changed her mind on us. I said okay, bye and take care. She then tried to backpedal, but her true nature had been exposed. Once it is over, it's over. She was easily one of the most attractive ladies I've dated, but it came down to the $$$.

Man I was recently in the same position the only difference is that even though I made more than her, I don't make a lot of money. I can support myself just fine but thats not enough. I think women severely overate how much money is needed to live a decent life. I do understand their craving for a high income guy but many chicks over do it. Its not enough to drive a Toyota Camry, they want you to provide an Audi lifestyle. I will probably never afford to give a woman an Audi lifestyle lol....but im okay with Toyota Camry chicks lol.

 

[Serenity]

Love may be unconditional, but relationships sure as fvck aren't. What I mean is that you're not obligated to give them whatever they demand, in fact it's often for their own good that they're not spoiled. Think about a parent and child, the child is a demanding little b!tch, yet the parents love their child while not giving everything it asks for.

If you end up as an enabler of unhealthy or sh!tty behavior for the partner in a relationship then I'd say you're doing them a disservice. The loving thing to do is cut it off and not be a part of their own destruction, wishing them to find a better path in life.

Sticking with a guy who is a mess and has several DUI's isn't a good thing to do for either of them. She should leave because that creates the best circumstances for both of them to live a better life, even if he doesn't get on a better path then at least it's just one person suffering instead of two. Losing his girlfriend because of his reckless actions might be the wakeup call he needs.

I love a lot of people, I give them what they need which isn't necessarily what they want in the moment. Many times have I met strong resistance only to be thanked a while later as they recognize that I went against them for their own good.

 

[RickTheToad]

Man I was recently in the same position the only difference is that even though I made more than her, I don't make a lot of money. I can support myself just fine but thats not enough. I think women severely overate how much money is needed to live a decent life. I do understand their craving for a high income guy but many chicks over do it. Its not enough to drive a Toyota Camry, they want you to provide an Audi lifestyle. I will probably never afford to give a woman an Audi lifestyle lol....but im okay with Toyota Camry chicks lol.

No doubt. I do find it interesting on how some ladies consider earning an obscene amount of money the # 1 priority. I think making 75k a year is pretty good, plus benefits. I also have side hustles that earn some nice coin which is nice. No matter, I am not looking for a trophy lady. Had them, and yes, they are nice to have as eye candy, but it's never enough. The current one is pretty good, but we have some bumps. She spends way too much on me, and she refuses to stop. I've only been in this situation once before, and I left. She bought 12 things for me for Christmas.. Geez..

 

[corrector]

The "love" you feel for the first girl you fall for is the strongest. My question to you is how do you know that it was unconditional bro?
Would you have cared for your first wife if she suddenly became a vegetable ( God forbid). I am just curious as to how strong your loyalty was. Would you have stayed if she became obese but had the same personality? Just wondering

Of course. I am a saint.

 

[Tdawg]

People have said that the only type of love is unconditional love. Based on that definition I have never loved a person before. The only exception being my mother. When you make marriage vows it says "for richer and poorer, sickness and health etc". That describes unconditional love. How many couples really ruminate on this before they get married? Not many. I will not get married until I meet the female that I would love even if they had 3rd degrees burns all over their body and were a paraplegic.

Men and women are very conditional "lovers". Men are conditional to a lesser degree. If your girlfriend starts to become obese we often start to fall out of " love" with her. Once the looks fade our feelings also fade. Once your status and money fade, your woman's feelings for you also fade. Unconditional love among romantic partners was probably an unrealistic ideal from the start.

I was prompted to write this because I had a convo with a female friend. She is sticking with her man even though he just got multiples DUI and his life is messed up right now. She wants a marriage ring out of it. I told her lets see if you can stick with a man unconditionally for 10 yrs or more. Then you deserve a ring....maybe.

The only unconditional love is a parents love for their child (notice I didn't say "between a parent and child"). If my son becomes a mass murderer, I will probably still love him. If he tries to poison me, i'll probably still love him. If my wife did any one of those things, she will see how fast my love for her will go out the door.

That's the difference.

 

[Bokanovsky]

People have said that the only type of love is unconditional love. Based on that definition I have never loved a person before. The only exception being my mother. When you make marriage vows it says "for richer and poorer, sickness and health etc".

It's just like a politician taking an oath of office or a criminal swearing to tell "the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" while testifying in his defence. The oath means nothing. It's a charade.

 

[evan12]

People have said that the only type of love is unconditional love. Based on that definition I have never loved a person before. The only exception being my mother. When you make marriage vows it says "for richer and poorer, sickness and health etc". That describes unconditional love. How many couples really ruminate on this before they get married? Not many. I will not get married until I meet the female that I would love even if they had 3rd degrees burns all over their body and were a paraplegic.

Men and women are very conditional "lovers". Men are conditional to a lesser degree. If your girlfriend starts to become obese we often start to fall out of " love" with her. Once the looks fade our feelings also fade. Once your status and money fade, your woman's feelings for you also fade. Unconditional love among romantic partners was probably an unrealistic ideal from the start.

I was prompted to write this because I had a convo with a female friend. She is sticking with her man even though he just got multiples DUI and his life is messed up right now. She wants a marriage ring out of it. I told her lets see if you can stick with a man unconditionally for 10 yrs or more. Then you deserve a ring....maybe.

Mating even in animals is all looking for the best possible mate, switch the mate with a better arrival mate. this is the nature.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Romantic love is always conditional.

Unconditional love is between parents, children, and siblings.

 

[Die Hard]

Parents-children love is not unconditional. Maybe in some cases it is, but certainly not in all cases! So stop stating this as if it's some universal truth...