Why does this keep happening?

[sangheilios]

Earlier today when I was out I saw this young woman with huge boobs and decided to approach her. We ended up talking for a couple minutes, she seemed pretty friendly and open with me so before going about my day I decided to make a move. I point blank asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said no, so I then proceeded to ask for her phone number. I didn't have my phone on me, so she wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. She then tells me her name so we introduce ourselves and then I tell her I'll text her so she has my number and leave.

I text her about half and hour later, just "hey.....this is....".

I never received a reply by this evening so I just assume it's another loss. I took a break for a while and stuff like this just feels so frustrating and pointless, almost to the point where I don't even want to bother anymore. The issue that I have with this is it makes me feel like this is detrimental to my mental health. When I have experiences like this, where everything seems to go perfect but yet result in nothing, it leaves me questioning my sanity, like as if none of these experiences happened at all lol. I think a big issue here is that these experiences put me on a weird emotional roller coaster, where I get an elated high from what looks like a victory only to experience a massive blow as if those feelings were delusional. It really makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother.

 

[corrector]

Yeah.

 

[MrWood]

I text her about half and hour later, just "hey.....this is....".

a half hour? Wait, until dinner time etc.
hey... this is? Why not something short and fun you remembered about her.. "fun meeting you, cute shoes you had.. very girly" or something like that.

If it "keeps happening"
q. what is the one constant in your interactions? (a. you)

 

[andreihaha]

Earlier today when I was out I saw this young woman with huge boobs and decided to approach her. We ended up talking for a couple minutes, she seemed pretty friendly and open with me so before going about my day I decided to make a move. I point blank asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said no, so I then proceeded to ask for her phone number. I didn't have my phone on me, so she wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. She then tells me her name so we introduce ourselves and then I tell her I'll text her so she has my number and leave.

I text her about half and hour later, just "hey.....this is....".

I never received a reply by this evening so I just assume it's another loss. I took a break for a while and stuff like this just feels so frustrating and pointless, almost to the point where I don't even want to bother anymore. The issue that I have with this is it makes me feel like this is detrimental to my mental health. When I have experiences like this, where everything seems to go perfect but yet result in nothing, it leaves me questioning my sanity, like as if none of these experiences happened at all lol. I think a big issue here is that these experiences put me on a weird emotional roller coaster, where I get an elated high from what looks like a victory only to experience a massive blow as if those feelings were delusional. It really makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother.

1st message: "Hey, this is dumbas$$"
2nd message: "I'm a little more free this weekend, wanna go get a drink?"
3rd message has to be hers or you forget about her.

 

[Glassguy]

OP you are way to eager. Want to stop the rejection? Put some value into yourself.

Guys with value are not texting a chick 30 minutes after getting her number.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I can't even begin to fathom why you get frustrated when you consistently, time and time again, ignore both the direct, specific advice you are given, and also ignore the common wisdom preached on this forum.

I have told you countless times to STOP texting women moments or hours after meeting them but you continue to do it anyway, and what's worse, you actually argue against that advice and tell us "it doesn't matter when I text her." Ok dude, well if you have it so figured out then stop posting the same repetitive whining threads here! Just the fact that you are ignoring advice while still whining points to a larger problem with yourself that you are going to need to figure out in order to become socially calibrated.

Second, why the F are you asking her if she has a boyfriend? Are you 12 years old? It is common wisdom here NOT to ask that question but you do it anyway?

Lastly, this sh*t happens with cold approach. I face it ALL the time. It can be frustrating but as I have said before it's all part of the game. You can't take it personally. My number-close to date ratio averages 1:5. Sometimes it's 1:1 and sometimes it's 1:10. And that's me, who isn't texting girls minutes after meeting them. And please save the "I only did it because I didn't have my phone on me" excuse or "it doesn't matter" excuse.

When I have experiences like this, where everything seems to go perfect but yet result in nothing, it leaves me questioning my sanity

It hasn't gone perfect. You are counting your chickens before they hatch. Certainly you've read this forum enough to know that most women have a hard time rejecting men face to face, and that their emotions change. If you've been reading the forum, then you've also seen my many posts on why women agree to a date when cold approached but then flake later. Or have you not been reading/studying here?

think a big issue here is that these experiences put me on a weird emotional roller coaster, where I get an elated high from what looks like a victory only to experience a massive blow as if those feelings were delusional.

Yes, that IS a problem and it is one you can fix. Stop becoming elated when you number close a girl. You are acting bi-polar. Overreacting on the highs of getting a number and then overreacting on the lows of a flake. Chill the F out. When you get a number it should make you smile but not be excited and certainly not ecstatic or "hopeful." You should smile because you had the balls to approach and have an interaction. That's it. The number can't be interpreted to mean that you were smooth or that she is actually interested so take it with a grain of salt. You can get excited after you have her in your bed but not until then. Keep your expectations low and expect the flakes to happen.

Do what you want to do but my patience for someone who ignores advice yet keeps complaining is very low.

 

[Glassguy]

I can't even begin to fathom why you get frustrated when you consistently, time and time again, ignore both the direct, specific advice you are given, and also ignore the common wisdom preached on this forum.

I have told you countless times to STOP texting women moments or hours after meeting them but you continue to do it anyway, and what's worse, you actually argue against that advice and tell us "it doesn't matter when I text her." Ok dude, well if you have it so figured out then stop posting the same repetitive whining threads here! Just the fact that you are ignoring advice while still whining points to a larger problem with yourself that you are going to need to figure out in order to become socially calibrated.

Second, why the F are you asking her if she has a boyfriend? Are you 12 years old? It is common wisdom here NOT to ask that question but you do it anyway?

Lastly, this sh*t happens with cold approach. I face it ALL the time. It can be frustrating but as I have said before it's all part of the game. You can't take it personally. My number-close to date ratio averages 1:5. Sometimes it's 1:1 and sometimes it's 1:10. And that's me, who isn't texting girls minutes after meeting them. And please save the "I only did it because I didn't have my phone on me" excuse or "it doesn't matter" excuse.

Do what you want to do but my patience for someone who ignores advice yet keeps complaining is very low.

Some people on here dont have the ability to or the desire to actually apply advice they are given. They only want to bytch when their way continues to blow up in their face.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

Maybe the pink pill community tells her she shouldn't respond to a first text from a guy for 24 hrs because it will make her look needy?

 

[Focal core]

Well, afterwards just talk to her boobs then make more sense.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Earlier today when I was out I saw this young woman with huge boobs and decided to approach her. We ended up talking for a couple minutes, she seemed pretty friendly and open with me so before going about my day I decided to make a move. I point blank asked her if she had a boyfriend, she said no, so I then proceeded to ask for her phone number. I didn't have my phone on me, so she wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. She then tells me her name so we introduce ourselves and then I tell her I'll text her so she has my number and leave.

I text her about half and hour later, just "hey.....this is....".

I never received a reply by this evening so I just assume it's another loss. I took a break for a while and stuff like this just feels so frustrating and pointless, almost to the point where I don't even want to bother anymore. The issue that I have with this is it makes me feel like this is detrimental to my mental health. When I have experiences like this, where everything seems to go perfect but yet result in nothing, it leaves me questioning my sanity, like as if none of these experiences happened at all lol. I think a big issue here is that these experiences put me on a weird emotional roller coaster, where I get an elated high from what looks like a victory only to experience a massive blow as if those feelings were delusional. It really makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother.

Ask yourself why encounters with girls are such a big deal to you. Why do you feel so validated or invalidated by a girl's actions or inaction?

Why were you out? Was it to bring home big boob girls? If not then what's the big deal? You were out, having fun, and as a bonus got to practice with tits mcgee. I've with @oldmanofthesea , don't even acknowledge other men exist when talking with a girl. If she wants it to be known that she has a bf she'll say so.

Find something bigger than yourself to work on. A project of some kind, and get passionate about it. Stick with it and push through the challenging phases. Do you know how satisfying work like that is? Do you know how insignificant and laughable this petty inner drama will seem when you're in that dragon slaying state? It will seem like a waste of precious time and brain fluid.

Imo it doesn't matter how soon you text to say 'hey here's my number', but why so crippled by no response? Wait a few days and call her or text about some event you're going to and wouldn't mind bringing her. No response? Good, you polarized the sheet out of her. Chalk it up to incompatibility and move on.

Remember you have no clue what's going on in a woman's head. She could be rejecting you because her dad died a week ago or she just sucks at seduction and expects the man to do everything. Maybe she's never had a 50/50 relationship and has leeched off betas her whole life. Either way it's her loss. Go on with building and leading yourself to success.

Learn from each rejection the best way, in a calm state of mind. Women are big on your personality and aura in the moment. You can work on your tone, what you say, how you say it, etc but that stuff comes naturally when you're pursuing your passions and the game with women becomes a fun recess by comparison. It becomes second nature to be chill, low toned, funny, easy going, because you truly DGAF and aren't outcome focused.

 

[sangheilios]

OP you are way to eager. Want to stop the rejection? Put some value into yourself.

Guys with value are not texting a chick 30 minutes after getting her number.

I can't even begin to fathom why you get frustrated when you consistently, time and time again, ignore both the direct, specific advice you are given, and also ignore the common wisdom preached on this forum.

I have told you countless times to STOP texting women moments or hours after meeting them but you continue to do it anyway, and what's worse, you actually argue against that advice and tell us "it doesn't matter when I text her." Ok dude, well if you have it so figured out then stop posting the same repetitive whining threads here! Just the fact that you are ignoring advice while still whining points to a larger problem with yourself that you are going to need to figure out in order to become socially calibrated.

Second, why the F are you asking her if she has a boyfriend? Are you 12 years old? It is common wisdom here NOT to ask that question but you do it anyway?

Lastly, this sh*t happens with cold approach. I face it ALL the time. It can be frustrating but as I have said before it's all part of the game. You can't take it personally. My number-close to date ratio averages 1:5. Sometimes it's 1:1 and sometimes it's 1:10. And that's me, who isn't texting girls minutes after meeting them. And please save the "I only did it because I didn't have my phone on me" excuse or "it doesn't matter" excuse.



It hasn't gone perfect. You are counting your chickens before they hatch. Certainly you've read this forum enough to know that most women have a hard time rejecting men face to face, and that their emotions change. If you've been reading the forum, then you've also seen my many posts on why women agree to a date when cold approached but then flake later. Or have you not been reading/studying here?



Yes, that IS a problem and it is one you can fix. Stop becoming elated when you number close a girl. You are acting bi-polar. Overreacting on the highs of getting a number and then overreacting on the lows of a flake. Chill the F out. When you get a number it should make you smile but not be excited and certainly not ecstatic or "hopeful." You should smile because you had the balls to approach and have an interaction. That's it. The number can't be interpreted to mean that you were smooth or that she is actually interested so take it with a grain of salt. You can get excited after you have her in your bed but not until then. Keep your expectations low and expect the flakes to happen.

Do what you want to do but my patience for someone who ignores advice yet keeps complaining is very low.

Ask yourself why encounters with girls are such a big deal to you. Why do you feel so validated or invalidated by a girl's actions or inaction?

Why were you out? Was it to bring home big boob girls? If not then what's the big deal? You were out, having fun, and as a bonus got to practice with tits mcgee. I've with @oldmanofthesea , don't even acknowledge other men exist when talking with a girl. If she wants it to be known that she has a bf she'll say so.

Find something bigger than yourself to work on. A project of some kind, and get passionate about it. Stick with it and push through the challenging phases. Do you know how satisfying work like that is? Do you know how insignificant and laughable this petty inner drama will seem when you're in that dragon slaying state? It will seem like a waste of precious time and brain fluid.

Imo it doesn't matter how soon you text to say 'hey here's my number', but why so crippled by no response? Wait a few days and call her or text about some event you're going to and wouldn't mind bringing her. No response? Good, you polarized the sheet out of her. Chalk it up to incompatibility and move on.

Remember you have no clue what's going on in a woman's head. She could be rejecting you because her dad died a week ago or she just sucks at seduction and expects the man to do everything. Maybe she's never had a 50/50 relationship and has leeched off betas her whole life. Either way it's her loss. Go on with building and leading yourself to success.

Learn from each rejection the best way, in a calm state of mind. Women are big on your personality and aura in the moment. You can work on your tone, what you say, how you say it, etc but that stuff comes naturally when you're pursuing your passions and the game with women becomes a fun recess by comparison. It becomes second nature to be chill, low toned, funny, easy going, because you truly DGAF and aren't outcome focused.

I'll explain to you why I find these experiences so annoying. Literally the only means I have to meet women are cold approaching those I see when I'm out and about. This particular one was when I was out doing errands. I've done this several times (costco, sporting goods store, bank, grocery store, etc.) and I give myself credit for trying but meeting women like this is going to have a pretty low success rate. I don't think it's so much the fact that what I'm doing is off but more to do with the fact that I'm a stranger and they literally know nothing about me outside of the brief interaction we shared. I feel like a lot of women are super paranoid and fearful, so they flake out due to this. Most of the people that I know where I am at that are in relationships met in a set of circumstances where they were around each other in a normal way (school, work, common social circle, etc.).

I'm not really big into "going out", as I don't even drink alcohol and honestly don't feel all that confident and comfortable in that environment.

As for my own personal life, I have a ton of stuff going on. I just finished up the last of one of my prerequisites needed for physical therapy school, I retook the class to get a better grade for my application that I'm putting in soon. I work almost everyday, just yesterday finished off 11 days in a row, and use that money for both savings and to invest into bitcoin/crypto, I'm actually very close to hitting my goals now with this new bear market. I continue to train/workout, at 6'4" and currently around 225-230 I'm pushing heavy sleds, lots of weighted chin ups and dips, pressing stuff overhead, etc, etc.

I have quite easy success with everything BUT this and I'm frankly getting sick and tired of it, especially when I see losers getting dates who don't even do half of what I do.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I'll explain to you why I find these experiences so annoying. Literally the only means I have to meet women are cold approaching those I see when I'm out and about. This particular one was when I was out doing errands. I've done this several times (costco, sporting goods store, bank, grocery store, etc.) and I give myself credit for trying but meeting women like this is going to have a pretty low success rate. I don't think it's so much the fact that what I'm doing is off but more to do with the fact that I'm a stranger and they literally know nothing about me outside of the brief interaction we shared. I feel like a lot of women are super paranoid and fearful, so they flake out due to this. Most of the people that I know where I am at that are in relationships met in a set of circumstances where they were around each other in a normal way (school, work, common social circle, etc.).

I'm not really big into "going out", as I don't even drink alcohol and honestly don't feel all that confident and comfortable in that environment.

As for my own personal life, I have a ton of stuff going on. I just finished up the last of one of my prerequisites needed for physical therapy school, I retook the class to get a better grade for my application that I'm putting in soon. I work almost everyday, just yesterday finished off 11 days in a row, and use that money for both savings and to invest into bitcoin/crypto, I'm actually very close to hitting my goals now with this new bear market. I continue to train/workout, at 6'4" and currently around 225-230 I'm pushing heavy sleds, lots of weighted chin ups and dips, pressing stuff overhead, etc, etc.

I have quite easy success with everything BUT this and I'm frankly getting sick and tired of it, especially when I see losers getting dates who don't even do half of what I do.

Then get involved with coed groups where you bump into women on a more regular basis. When you talk up women when you're out like you've described then practice setting up a date on the spot or grabbing coffee or something with them right then and there. Build some rapport before leaving. You have no real excuse not to try new things. It's good that you're sick of your results but are you ready to actually do something about them? Or do you feel completely helpless and justified in your excuses?

 

[sangheilios]

Then get involved with coed groups where you bump into women on a more regular basis. When you talk up women when you're out like you've described then practice setting up a date on the spot or grabbing coffee or something with them right then and there. Build some rapport before leaving. You have no real excuse not to try new things. It's good that you're sick of your results but are you ready to actually do something about them? Or do you feel completely helpless and justified in your excuses?

I've looked into meetup groups in my area, most were things I had little interest in but with the ones that did often consisted of people well beyond my age range. I've checked out some before and they had an awkward vibe to them with a bunch of weird people.

I went to a speed dating event back in April of this year, where I felt super out of place. The other men were out of shape and unattractive, one guy had those crutches on his arms where you one can't walk due to a disability. Before the event even started I was internally questioning myself as to why a guy like me should have to resort to this, as I'm not disabled, obese, etc.

I've approached women at the gym before but they never turned into anything and resulted in essentially just getting strung along for attention. I'm not totally putting this off the table, as I think for someone who is active and exercises regularly it makes sense why I'd want to meet someone there. I discussed my concerns of getting strung along with someone I know and he simply said if that is the case just cut it off early, as I know what to look for now that I've had these experiences.

I've tried online dating out, I never got any replies to my messages but the one date I did have, off of Tinder back in June, was a major disappointment. The girl looked nothing like what her photos suggested and was easily 20 or 30 pounds heavier. She also had an annoying personality and the whole experience was just painful. I talked about this with a friend and he said that was pretty common, where the woman is way heavier, so I just deleted the app and never looked back.

Besides that I just do cold approaches whenever I see a woman I am attracted to and in a set of circumstances where doing so is appropriate. For instance, if she is looking through some of the produce I can make some comment relevant to the context of the situation.

If I get accepted into the program I'm applying for I'll be moving to a much bigger and more diverse area.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You keep asking but we can't tell you. There is something you are doing that is turning them off BIG TIME because it seems to happen with almost every interaction. You need to figure it out or it's going to keep happening.

Key word is YOU! Like some doing some really deep introspective searching within yourself bro. Looking back and replaying all the times this has happened and then looking for a common theme.

What you need to stop doing is blaming THEM. You can't figure this out if you are unwilling to take responsibility for what is happening.

 

[sangheilios]

You keep asking but we can't tell you. There is something you are doing that is turning them off BIG TIME because it seems to happen with almost every interaction. You need to figure it out or it's going to keep happening.

Key word is YOU! Like some doing some really deep introspective searching within yourself bro. Looking back and replaying all the times this has happened and then looking for a common theme.

What you need to stop doing is blaming THEM. You can't figure this out if you are unwilling to take responsibility for what is happening.

Well, I'm clearly not doing anything wrong from an initial glance. These women are actually taking the time to stop what they are doing to talk to me for a handful of minutes, which is not exactly a normal thing to do with a man that is a complete stranger. If a woman was creeped out or not at least slightly intrigued she isn't going to stop what she is doing for something like this, let alone go out of there way to put their numbers in my phone, write them down, etc.

That's why I put emphasis on all of this, because that is literally going PERFECT and nothing goes wrong during the actual interaction but yet it results in NOTHING. I don't know what the hell it is but none of this makes any sense to me, therefore I can't give you any idea as to what it might be. I've tried all sorts of different things and none of it works, it almost feels like the stars are preventing anything from happening lol.

I've had women approach ME and ask ME out only to flake on the date and ghost for no reason. That's not normal to do that out of the blue.

I'm not sending **** pics are blowing up their phone, it's usually just stuff like "this is xyz we met at (insert place)".

I can't give you an answer to any of this because there really isn't one, and this is all coming from an attractive, broad shouldered, fit 6'4" white man that dresses well, is well spoken, etc.

 

[MrWood]

Ok, well... maybe you are abit like the dumb blonde... or my ex's... incredibly hot, but nothing but bricks in the head.

You get the numbers and attention because you are HB8,
but yet your words and actions seem to take away any fizzle that started in that pvssy.. -POOF- gone.

 

[sangheilios]

Ok, well... maybe you are abit like the dumb blonde... or my ex's... incredibly hot, but nothing but bricks in the head.

You get the numbers and attention because you are HB8, but yet your words and actions take away any fizzle that started in that pvssy.. -POOF- gone.

Pretty sure anyone who reads my post would realize I'm clearly well spoken and write well, get lost troll.

 

[MrWood]

Well spoken and written does not automagically get the 'poon
Perhaps that is WHY you are NOT getting it, Sir.

 

[sangheilios]

@MrWood

You realize you are disrespecting a guy under 30 who has this list of qualities

- 6'4"
- in fantastic shape
- college eduated
- applying for physical therapy school
- doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs
- house paid off
- 5 figure crypto portfolio
on and on and on

#perfect catch and if all that isn't enough for these *****s something is wrong.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I've looked into meetup groups in my area, most were things I had little interest in but with the ones that did often consisted of people well beyond my age range. I've checked out some before and they had an awkward vibe to them with a bunch of weird people.

I went to a speed dating event back in April of this year, where I felt super out of place. The other men were out of shape and unattractive, one guy had those crutches on his arms where you one can't walk due to a disability. Before the event even started I was internally questioning myself as to why a guy like me should have to resort to this, as I'm not disabled, obese, etc.

I've approached women at the gym before but they never turned into anything and resulted in essentially just getting strung along for attention. I'm not totally putting this off the table, as I think for someone who is active and exercises regularly it makes sense why I'd want to meet someone there. I discussed my concerns of getting strung along with someone I know and he simply said if that is the case just cut it off early, as I know what to look for now that I've had these experiences.

I've tried online dating out, I never got any replies to my messages but the one date I did have, off of Tinder back in June, was a major disappointment. The girl looked nothing like what her photos suggested and was easily 20 or 30 pounds heavier. She also had an annoying personality and the whole experience was just painful. I talked about this with a friend and he said that was pretty common, where the woman is way heavier, so I just deleted the app and never looked back.

Besides that I just do cold approaches whenever I see a woman I am attracted to and in a set of circumstances where doing so is appropriate. For instance, if she is looking through some of the produce I can make some comment relevant to the context of the situation.

If I get accepted into the program I'm applying for I'll be moving to a much bigger and more diverse area.

So you're out of place everywhere and went on one OLD meet. It's like you're walking into a shoe store and surprised to find a shoelace on the ground. You're bound to have catfish on OLD, just like you're bound to have rejections with cold approaches. You speak from a lack of confidence and experience. You speak like you're looking for the perfect partner to fall on your lap. What you should be focusing on is what kind of value you bring to these interactions, not what you can take away. That's abundance vs scarcity thinking.

For example your speed dating experience. Show up and notice you're the hottest guy there? Good, bring that good game to back up the good looks. Your thinking instantly jumped to egocentric thoughts about why you're there. You've committed, you're there, be the spring of good vibes, not the guy who looks like he's hunting for validation. When you are the party people fvcking love it. They turn to you and open up. Try it sometime.

Even in this thread you aren't really thinking about the advise given, you're not thanking anyone for their input. You're playing the victim and actively arguing against advice given to you, as if you're doing everything right. Then why did you post? To vent?