Conflicted. Should I look for strong interest sign OR not care and ask her out anyway? ? ( Book of pook says looking for a sign is chick thinking)

[GeeMale]

Book of Pook says that looking for an interest sign is chick thinking and real men go for what they want..
heres what I do

I'll go up to cute chick with no ring on left ring finger for hopefully a 15 min conversation where I'll ask her out during. If she doesn't ask me 1 question in first 5 min or looking at her phone or some other obvious sign of disinterest , I'll assume she's not into me and avoid asking her out,and in the future will view her as an aquantance who I couldn't care about.

In my experience when there isn't a strong interest sign in the first 5-10 min it 9/10 times doesn't lead to a date if continue to ask her out...

Should I forget about interest sign? Lots of stuff online says only if she's in vicinity and locking eye contact for 5 seconds(or else it leads to flake, and cold approach looks desperate,etc)
Believe me , I'm not looking for an excuse to avoid rejection...it's more about I want to be around someone who seems like she's like to do things with me....

FYI:
A)I don't go to bars, clubs, don't drink these are chicks at gym, coffee shop, or anywhere that I see
B) Information overload is very annoying. So many guys have different perspectives it's insane. Yet it's entertaining to see different peoples views. Wtf?

 

[GeeMale]

Pook is right in a sense. Women look for signs of interest from the guy before they make a move and seduce the guy.

Read that again. Women are the seducers. You seem to think the guy has to do all the work. This kind of thinking will have you supplicating to women that are already attracted to you.

Right now your brain is filled with too much useless information.

My question to you is do you have any hobbies/activities that have attractive women in it that see you more than once?

Or are you a no life seducer?

Wait so I read that the opposite way that pook meant? What I read it as is, that men should ask out any chick he wants regardless of how she seems to us initially...bored, annoyed, or staring at us and only pull away if she breaks dates, gives run around, seems inflexible.

I know I don't have to do all the work, but I know I do have to initiate obviously...

My question is if I should ask out chicks who don't show me that she really wants to make something happen between us(I just realized the frame bro, from remembering how you word your posts as them being the seducers and this paragraph should reflect that haha)

Besides lifting, I can't say I have activities/hobbies whered I'd see attractive women more than once.

 

[JustDoItAlways2]

Tip #1, #2 and #3.

#1. You can get a girl to at least think about your potential by just "checking her out". You know, girls notice when you are checking them out, making it clear you are interested in them even if it across a bar, at the office or at a party and you haven't even spoken yet. They notice. They are better than us at recognizing this. Keep looking at her every now and again. See if she is looking back at you at every now and again to see if you are still checking her out. 15 minutes or more even. If she separates herself from her group and stands somewhere by herself, she is asking you to approach her to continue checking her out. The interested girl will make it easier for you to approach her. She might even accidently keep showing up in your vicinity. Tip #1 because you almost never ever hear this tip from anyone.

#2. You are way better off sticking with girls that are showing interest in you. Just like you might be checking her out from across the bar, sometimes a girl is also checking you out. Others call this "buying signals". You still need to approach her somehow and continue the conversation to see if she is still giving you interest signals. If she doesn't give out anything either way, it starts to move into the low odds territory. Your odds are 100% better just by sticking to the girls who are showing some type of interest in you. But you can also get caught by the attention ***** trap with this tip.

#3. Some girls are just really bad at giving good interest signals. They're shy, they're socially awkward, or nervous. Asking them out on a date is a better way to find out FOR SURE if they are actually interested or not but just being nervous. It also weeds out the attention ***** risk. The attention ***** will have 100 excuses but the shy girl will immediately burst into a smile and get really excited. And in today's world, there are fewer and fewer guys asking girls out on dates, Tinder and everything, so you might just get lucky.

 

[GeeMale]

What you're saying is?

Make some room for her to pursue in whatever environments

What are good examples of activities/hobbies I could add that doesn't involve alcohol besides what people invite me to? Curious about this now, not to go out of my way just to seduce but I know what you mean by the sharer environment I experience however not MUCH

 

[GeeMale]

That's great man!
I dont purposely strive to have a PUA frame I did the first 1.5-2 years...but than I read book of pook back in June and confirmed belief that it's not authentic...something I kind of knew for months..

I think the lack of environment thing is forcing me to feel the need to ask out every attractive chick I see everywhere.or at least once a week to give myself an opportunity to have women in my vicinity. I think it's throwing everything off because inside the whole PUA/player.mentality is very loserish to me.... plus I'm not insecure without sex or anything..more about having fun with them while focusing on my purpose...

But another thing is that I didn't know I could sit back and relax and let women pursue me ..but than again it's hard to realize that when I go to places that aren't real groups/etc lol

I think I'm gonna have to whip out Meetup app and see what's up...what do you think?

 

[Who Dares Win]

Pook wasnt living in the metoo time and surely didnt risk to be stalked on social media or reported as an offender publicly.

Be clever not "cool", make your move when its the right setting and leave the bravado to others, once your skills are sharp enough you will be able to save time and hassle by hitting on suitable targets only.

 

[MrWood]

An interest sign is a woman engaging you in any way, shape or form other than courtesy or duty.

A woman who is not interested in you will do everything in her power to not be in your vicinity, verbally, physically, literally and metaphorically.

 

[GeeMale]

You can’t make money if you don’t focus on it. And you can’t find social environments that has attractive women in it if all you do is focus on street game.

Change your focus and your reality changes. You won’t find the social environments right away, but a year from now, you will have developed an ecosystem where you exist in multiple environments based on your interests and hobbies and meeting women will be seamless.
]
I do work and have a plan to start a business in next 2 years and also have a degree. I think you're misunderstanding a little I'm leaving stuff out. My social environments haven't been changing much because I turn down invites from friends and frankly don't have an enormous amount, I don't use social media either really. I do go to weddings and other stuff I'm INVITED to.

Btw I don't wanna make another post. I have a question on setting up date. Do YOU set up date with chick next day OR couple days after her saying yes to go somewhere (no specifics) from intial conversation? Before I use to text or call them 2-3 days later and after getting "who?" a couple times,someone here said it's cause they forgot about me and surprised I even reached out, so to hit them up WITHIN 48 hours,preferably the next day. Do you agree?Also should my name ,day, time, place of date be ALL in ONE text when texting them initially or at least within first 2 texts? I made a mistake I feel tonight as I havent got this within a couple years cause I'm trying something new out along with paragraph above.

Me: "Hey 'her name'!"
Her:"Who's this"?
Me: "'(My name), the guy who asked you out at work last night"

She never texted back lol. They usually do when I send them "Let's go bowling (day, time, place)" along with what I sent in that last text you see above.

Again I know this sounds like street game, but without going places where I go at least couple times week that isn't a store, gym, coffee shop, lol this is what I have along with community people hooking me up with chicks (I'm Indian and Muslim so my culture does things that way) or events related to that that are like twice a year lol.

 

[GeeMale]

Pook wasnt living in the metoo time and surely didnt risk to be stalked on social media or reported as an offender publicly.

Be clever not "cool", make your move when its the right setting and leave the bravado to others, once your skills are sharp enough you will be able to save time and hassle by hitting on suitable targets only.

Crap dude, I hate when my gut tells me this and sometimes I go with it and other times I don't. Thanks.

 

[GeeMale]

You can’t make money if you don’t focus on it. And you can’t find social environments that has attractive women in it if all you do is focus on street game.

Change your focus and your reality changes. You won’t find the social environments right away, but a year from now, you will have developed an ecosystem where you exist in multiple environments based on your interests and hobbies and meeting women will be seamless.

I'm going to try and go for one of those free dance for classes at 24 hour fitness this week

 

[GeeMale]

An interest sign is a woman engaging you in any way, shape or form other than courtesy or duty.

A woman who is not interested in you will do everything in her power to not be in your vicinity, verbally, physically, literally and metaphorically.

Would you say this translates not only intially from first conversation, but later on during date(s) and into the relationship? Obviously her interest is going to be fluid and could drop, but I'm specifically talking about the interest / disinterest sign in and of itself here.

 

[MrWood]

Would you say this translates not only initially from first conversation, but later on during date(s) and into the relationship?

Yes.

 

[GeeMale]

It’s all irrelevant. The only thing that is relevant is a connection. A phone number is just a logistical tool, it’s not some achievement.

If there is an actual connection then what comes next is plausible deniability (an excuse to be alone). A phone number in this case would be useful to set up logistics for the encounter.

If there is an actual connection then there’s no confusion. There’s no need for game. What would be the point?

It doesn’t matter if it’s street game or social circle. When two people have a connection, they want to be alone with each other.

The problem is you don’t have a connection wiTh any of these women, and you are trying to overcompensate with text game. But texting them isn’t going to create a connection out of thin air.

If there wasn’t already a connection in real life when you were talking to them face to face, how could there be a connection through text? Lol. The odds would be even slimmer.

If you change your focus from collecting phone numbers to finding women you can genuinely connect with, then your odds of success will increase.

So the question is “Is cold approaching random women from the streets that I have nothing in common with the best way for me to meet women that I can connect with?”

The answer is probably no. If you use your powers logic, you could probably come up with a list of 10 ways to meet and connect with women that are more effective than street game.

For some odd reason, guys in the pua community dont use any logic. They like to make things more difficult for themselves then it has to be. This approach will have you joining the priesthood in no time due to all the frustration.

The numbers game is for guys who don’t know any better. They don’t know how to leverage social dynamics to their benefit.

Somewhere out there are TONS of women that are on your wavelength that would love to date you. You have to find them, not waste your time with random women you have no chemistry with.

You either find these women deliberately throughout hobbies/social life or wait around for serendipity to strike you.

Do you think it's important to be talking to multiple women who you connect with(Emphasis on "plates") ?

 

[GeeMale]

I think it’s important to develop a lifestyle where you are constantly exposed to multiple women. You can call it an “ecosystem.” Whatever comes out of it comes out of it. You might connect with 1 woman or many women.

Get rid of your need for control and gameplanning. Right now you are still coming from the frame of thinking too much and having useless information in your head.

Just create a lifestyle where you interact women naturally through hobbies and interests and what not. Things will happen on their own time.

The important thing is that you are in the RIGHT social environments that are conducive to meeting women that you can connect with, and not constantly roaming the streets like a lost poodle.

Get there first, and then worry about everything else. And once you get there, you will realize 90% of the work has already been done.

Let's say I'm at a coffee shop doing my own thing. I see someone next to me on laptop coding. I ask them about it(I'm going for my first software engineer position i in few months). We connect a little. I ask her out.

Scenario #2

I see a barista working for first time in a while while I'm in line and surprised and joke around with her.I ask her out while we chit chat.

This is how I behave. How In the world is this street game again? I might act like in the above paragraphs I describe, at the gym or other places related the current situation there at the time. But it's not like some pre-planned thing I try to go out my way to do before I get there....its more natural than that but not enough to my liking , there's an age 33 friendly guy at my gym who seems like an authentic guy. I asked him about women he talks to there and joked around he should ask them out. He said they approached him and that they're just his friends, plus he dated women there before in the past. Similar to me, I've dated women there before too. But I notice I strategize more than he does and looks like he just rolls with it. I don't use techniques, and pickup lines more like rules I have for myself to maintain self respect...and maybe stragies for not revealing too much and just being playful/clever....you know? So I can see what you're saying about the mindset.....if I don't feel like I'm successful in my ecosystem I will sometimes blame it on the stuff that is possibly related to PUA things....and feel lost again than come on here and ask about it and get different answers from guys like you who are more authentic and other guys in PUA frame, and others who are totally bitter lol. Even tho in gut, I know I'm not wanting to come from a PUA frame...more authentic.

 

[GeeMale]

We already went through this already. I told you social environment based on hobbies and interests. I never said anything about coffee shops. Is it possible to get phone numbers in coffee shops? Sure. Is it possible for you to find a woman that you actually have something in common with + attraction + chemistry? Maybe 1 in 100 interactions, lol. If all the stars align, I guess anything is possible, lol.

Years from now while people on the same wavelength are hooking up left and right 24/7 in social environments, you’re still trying to figure out coffee shop game. Relationships based on chemistry and commonalities would have started, kids would have been born, and you’re still trying to pick up chicks in coffee shops.

I thought you were pulling up the meetup app? Why are we going backwards, talking in circles, and trying to figure out pickup game?

Don’t you realize these women in coffee shops have their own lives, social circles, hobbies, and social environments they go to based on their interests where they already know tons of guys that they talk to everyday?

And meanwhile you are a total stranger with nothing in common with them trying to hit on them. Again, is it possible to hook up with them? Sure. Is it probable? Judging by how clueless you seem to be about social dynamics, not likely.

If I were you I would just make it as easy as possible and find social groups based on interests/hobbies where you meet women you have something in common with instead of trying to be some kind of master seducer. You’re going to end up wasting 10 years of your life and become bitter and jaded.

On a difficulty level of 1-10, the method im giving you is a level 1. It’s the easiest way. And the best part is, it also has the highest probability of success as well. Yet you want to pull rabbits out of your a$$ in coffee shops and pray to the love Gods to bless you with serendipity.

What you're saying is correct, but I just realized you're exaggerating (maybe a bit outlandish) a bit which why I'm replying to you, cause that's really messing with my head since I hate mistating stuff/being misunderstood in communication.
But hey I got the point, and I'll go ahead and click with women that I vibe with more, in other social environments

 

[GeeMale]

We already went through this already. I told you social environment based on hobbies and interests. I never said anything about coffee shops. Is it possible to get phone numbers in coffee shops? Sure. Is it possible for you to find a woman that you actually have something in common with + attraction + chemistry? Maybe 1 in 100 interactions, lol. If all the stars align, I guess anything is possible, lol.

Years from now while people on the same wavelength are hooking up left and right 24/7 in social environments, you’re still trying to figure out coffee shop game. Relationships based on chemistry and commonalities would have started, kids would have been born, and you’re still trying to pick up chicks in coffee shops.

I thought you were pulling up the meetup app? Why are we going backwards, talking in circles, and trying to figure out pickup game?

Don’t you realize these women in coffee shops have their own lives, social circles, hobbies, and social environments they go to based on their interests where they already know tons of guys that they talk to everyday?

And meanwhile you are a total stranger with nothing in common with them trying to hit on them. Again, is it possible to hook up with them? Sure. Is it probable? Judging by how clueless you seem to be about social dynamics, not likely.

If I were you I would just make it as easy as possible and find social groups based on interests/hobbies where you meet women you have something in common with instead of trying to be some kind of master seducer. You’re going to end up wasting 10 years of your life and become bitter and jaded.

On a difficulty level of 1-10, the method im giving you is a level 1. It’s the easiest way. And the best part is, it also has the highest probability of success as well. Yet you want to pull rabbits out of your a$$ in coffee shops and pray to the love Gods to bless you with serendipity.

Oh yeah there something else not sure if you can get through me or not. I'm Indian and Muslim(Shia) who live in Houston,TX. I know my parents wouldn't want to me to marry someone who isn't Shia...and race isn't important although they ideally like another chick who is Indian/Pakistani cause same culture. I think if I would get in more social environments with them(Shia women ... Which there is plenty in America).The probelm is .....it's hard to network and get through to them without being serious that you actually wanna talk to the chick and let em know before hand that you wanna know her for at least a few months maybe years or whatever but with the intention to marry and not just for 'fun'. Whether it's arranged by someone else for us to meet in person or ourselves in some environment in our community they have here...

But going to social environments with them is going to be much less fewer than if I was to start in meet up app or other places naturally. I know I wouldn't have to 'practice' first either.......because everything seems more natural when I do see them in religious camp, picnics, etc or other natural places I meet them by chance.

So yeah....have fun with meet up and other environments with whoever chicks for right now.....
Or stick to just what I know my family would allow?

 

[MrWood]

Let your family control your life...
this is not a DJ trait.

You are American now, exercise your freedom

 

[GeeMale]

Let your family control your life...
this is not a DJ trait.

You are American now, exercise your freedom

Not controlling. I love my family and wouldn't want to be disowned. I could get married to a Christian or Jew if they converted though later on. They don't TRY or encourage to get me married ASAP or anything lol. They said when I want to, just let em know when I find a Muslim girl or reach out to them for possible match making for dates if I like them or not.

 

[bcude]

You overthink too much.
It's simple, if you see an attractive woman you go up to her and introduce yourself and have a little chat too see what she's all about. Then you ask her out if that is what YOU want.
She either says yes or no. You leave with a number and/or with some real life experience.
Waiting for signs will have you waiting for a long time and is playing it safe, it's trying to avoid rejection in every way, that's not masculine.
Remember, rejection is better than regret.

Meanwhile you build your social circles and make it easier on yourself for the future.

 

[GeeMale]

We already went through this already. I told you social environment based on hobbies and interests. I never said anything about coffee shops. Is it possible to get phone numbers in coffee shops? Sure. Is it possible for you to find a woman that you actually have something in common with + attraction + chemistry? Maybe 1 in 100 interactions, lol. If all the stars align, I guess anything is possible, lol.

Years from now while people on the same wavelength are hooking up left and right 24/7 in social environments, you’re still trying to figure out coffee shop game. Relationships based on chemistry and commonalities would have started, kids would have been born, and you’re still trying to pick up chicks in coffee shops.

I thought you were pulling up the meetup app? Why are we going backwards, talking in circles, and trying to figure out pickup game?

Don’t you realize these women in coffee shops have their own lives, social circles, hobbies, and social environments they go to based on their interests where they already know tons of guys that they talk to everyday?

And meanwhile you are a total stranger with nothing in common with them trying to hit on them. Again, is it possible to hook up with them? Sure. Is it probable? Judging by how clueless you seem to be about social dynamics, not likely.

If I were you I would just make it as easy as possible and find social groups based on interests/hobbies where you meet women you have something in common with instead of trying to be some kind of master seducer. You’re going to end up wasting 10 years of your life and become bitter and jaded.

On a difficulty level of 1-10, the method im giving you is a level 1. It’s the easiest way. And the best part is, it also has the highest probability of success as well. Yet you want to pull rabbits out of your a$$ in coffee shops and pray to the love Gods to bless you with serendipity.

I'm just curious . Why are you on this forum still?You seem to know a lot from experience and insight. Usually guys like you ditch the forums eventually for good.