There are no "boys" and I'm not employed in a set-up where there are coworkers. I'm just at home or out with my folks.
How do you afford online dating if feel like you are paying to get rejected?
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lamath
Master Don Juan
This is probably the number 1 thing you need to fix
Humans need a social life to be happy and this is not only to get women. Its just good.
I would start a try to change that fact 1st, join a sports team, go to the gym and meet new ppl get into a class. It will take tine to build a sociL circle but the result will be worth it.
lamath
Master Don Juan
You been here for awhile you know its a waste of time and energy
As I said before, I probably watch movies/TV-shows, probably is a very sophisticated way because of the digital age where it is at a different level (i.e. have a home theatre which includes a wall/projector/exclusive cinema area in the home, Tablets for mobile viewing, look at youtube movie/TV-show reviews/or online reviews and look at social trends/issues/hype before choosing content so everything watched is very high-quality, etc....). The high degree of mental stimulation. I bring Film Festival types of movies to my home. I went back in time to the 1930s viewing and old movie inside my home. It has held up so far since 2017 when the first HD-TV, 58 inch was purchased on a loan. Never had HD prior to this date I was 9 years behind and always viewed things on a 4:3 computer monitor before. I met a Real-Estate client in 2017 and liked his computer monitor and changed that to a wide-screen 27 inch monitor as well.
I still feel the spirit of this started in 2016 and was caused primarily by the emotional support of viewing youtube based movie reviews. Allot of emotional support is derived by looking at online vlogs.
This has already been thought of and applied. I have allot of crippling debt partially because of all the personal trainers used and Gym membership costs and being bazodee of dealing with some nice female personal trainers because I liked them around me, etc.... Part of the reason why I am in bankruptcy today.RichTheToad said:
The Toronto van attack is frequently brought up when you google search incel and city. So, technically Toronto is popular with incel word associations.RichtheToad said:
It's not that. I have a superstitious belief that if you send an email to an ex that the right woman will just show up because of the signals sent out in the universe from that very act. However, I disproved it by remembering the circumstances on how I met this past girl in the first place and remembering I stopped emailing a previous lady I was infatuated with the time I met her so it's not really true.
I'm watching people on screen so it's not so bad. That's why I like TV-shows and movies on a large screen I guess. I don't play video games at all.
You can't meet people in a Gym class the way you are saying...you can just be the odd creepy guy out in a room of hot girls. Not a great idea right? Joining a sports team only works if you have the time and actually like sports. I'm 43 y/o and not that much into shape to be with a proper sport's team. Plus I have allot of trouble with bills, payments, and income which I think are more likely to be deal-killers with women if they see the overall set-up.lamath said:
RickTheToad
Moderator
You sound depressed. All these glitz and glamour of Hollywood is cute and nice; if you can afford it. I do not know how someone gets into debt with personal trainers and gym membership. Perhaps you can expand on this? $$$ does not build muscle, cardio and picking heavy things up and putting them down does. Doubtful it's just the gym memberships which caused your financial downfall.
Back to basics dude. Get your financial house in order, then go after the ladies. Can you get a side job to help pay off the debt? The van attack is little compared what's happening in the states. There will always be people who want to cause hell for others. You need to focus on you and not concern yourself with what others appear to be experiencing.
Very few people can live the lone wolf lifestyle. Humans are social creatures. You need to get some social friends.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Again i think big city living is playing agaist you, harder to connect with ppl that way.
I get how your situation is not optimal, but you need to work towards improving it. Status quo is not doing it.
Looking at my past i can identify with some of your problem, i had probleme career and women wise when i finished college and it wasnt good. But you need to find a way to elevate yourself out of this.
I see exactly what you do with the streaming tv show and movies. Its make all that shiet go away and take your attention away from the reality of your situation.it is ephemeral.
There is a way but its not gonna be instant succes
Smartone84
Senior Don Juan
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Maybe the most comical and ridiculous line I've ever seen in my 10+ years on these forums.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Not sure comment like those helps its clear that he is having a hard time.
Normally having a girl, especially in the past helps introduce me into having a social life. My ex-gf for example, helped me get more to talk to other hbs inside her home church and gave me a purpose to go out and get social. My ex-wife had a large family where I would be invited to go out to occasions. What makes break-ups or divorces devastating is you go from having a nice social life without needing a woman to anchor with in these social situations to having nothing at all. Apart from my folks, I don't talk to most of my relatives or have any female cousins to talk to. The death of these social lives for break-ups/divorces that were not my fault add to them being particularly traumatic.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Idealy you would want to have your own social life, and she'd have her own social life. Then, you can then share each others social life. One really cannot live themselves vicariously through another person's social life. It doesn't work like that.
I disagree with that. Small metro area living sucks when there is a limited supply of people (hot women included), close minded people, etc.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Was talking about establishing a social circle ppl are more friendly.
On the women aspect it can be good or bad it depends. In small city if you have a good smv and reputation it does not take long for all to know then social proof is easy to establish.
If you have a less then good reputation then its often harder in small places.
Also OLD is crap
Also, smaller towns don't like taking in outsiders. That is correct but most of the women in smaller, more rural areas are uglier as well, and fat, at least in the south and midwest it seems. I wouldn't consider my area a small population but by FL standards it isn't a huge metro area and around here most of the women are heavy and uglier too compared to major cities like Tampa. When I go to Tampa I see much healthier, prettier and younger women. A lot less tatted up and overall just better quality.
OLD is a waste of time and money unless you're in a large metro area. Large metro areas it can be a gold mine. Around here you're seriously wasting your money on paid sites that have hardly anyone 35 on it and competing for about 35 or so HB7s within a 60 mile area most who have kids and divorced.
I paid for Bumble boost thinking it would show up more results. I can go a couple days at a time where no one even shows up on BUmble within 25 miles of me.
Are you afraid to move to a larger city because you might end up like me? If you get rejected there then your location excuses are gone and you are like incel. No wonder you are not moving. Must be nice having a security blanket excuse.
It's money and my business right now. Tampa traffic is annoying but more stuff to do up there. Tons more women. hard to get rejected around here when not a ton of women not post wall to begin with. Lots of damaged goods. hell, if I could find a hot 46 year old no kids, never married I'd take her in a jiffy!
It sounds like you are making up another type of excuse. The city is full of damaged goods so any rejection from them doesn't really count.
But hey, that's the same excuse that I'm using too. When you start getting burned by post-wall women then it's a morale killer.
Alone. I sent an email to my ex-gf (2012) in 2016 and that fired up my brain to make that year an epic bike season that included two kayaking rounds on an island (island had memories of 2012 with my ex-gf) and on another river in combination with a bike ride, and cross-country lessons on top of a mountain. She didn't reply to the email but if that year felt epic then just the self-effect alone was great if that email thing had something to do with it. Other years of biking were okay.
2015 is a standout as I did meet a Black girl on the trail and we we french kissed and went out on a few dates afterwards but it didn't hold together as we both just drifted off. Normally don't meet girls on the trails like that and it's just exercise. Was not compatible with the Black girl as I'm not into Black culture, or Black clubs, or these things or the type of movies she would like (although I did watch them on DVD by borrowing from the library - Straight Out of Compton had over 200+ f-bombs).