Girlfriend wants to take break

[devilkingx2]

Very simple: Let her go.

Hating her for what she's done or showing any negative emotional reaction to her presence is just a continuation of the anger that you showed, which is what drove her away from you in the first place. You'll poison your own mind if you dwell on it, and you'll do it to yourself.

I doubt it's his fault that they broke up if she took the first chance to dump him that she got.

Well here is what happened.
When the first time we went on date she invited me over to her place and we had sex. I didnt want to have sex cause i was scared that since she is my coworker so it might screw things in future. So i underperformed.
But still things went fine eventually.
Recently she told me that after our first night she didnt want to be with me and had doubts about it but still eventually went forward with me. I ignored it first time, but it kind of hit me on my ego. Two days back she repeated the same stuff while i was over at her place. This time it pissed me more. But i stayed quite.
But i couldnt contain it, so today i confronted her and told her via text that i was pissed off and gave her this reason. All of a sudden she just said that things were less complicated when we were just coworkers and that we should call it off. She said she just being honest to me and hence told me this stuff. At last she said that we should have break. I didnt force her or said anything else.

1. Being worried about banging a girl because of your job makes you sound like a pvssy. Women are cold and cruel, if you sound like a pvssy to them they'll be like lions to your gazelle. You don't worry about dumb crap like that because you won't cause drama, you'd cut her loose if she did, and if you got fired you'd just find another job.

2. If she was having doubts about you, what you should've done was pull away and make her chase you, so that she can realize that her doubts are nonsense because she wants you to come closer instead. However what you did was worsen her doubts by causing drama.

 

[Epic Days]

I doubt it's his fault that they broke up if she took the first chance to dump him that she got.



1. Being worried about banging a girl because of your job makes you sound like a pvssy. Women are cold and cruel, if you sound like a pvssy to them they'll be like lions to your gazelle. You don't worry about dumb crap like that because you won't cause drama, you'd cut her loose if she did, and if you got fired you'd just find another job.

2. If she was having doubts about you, what you should've done was pull away and make her chase you, so that she can realize that her doubts are nonsense because she wants you to come closer instead. However what you did was worsen her doubts by causing drama.

The reason he is upset about it is because he doesn’t understand her motive. He inserted his own “performance” as the reason and that reason is false.

 

[FruitLoops]

The reason he is upset about it is because he doesn’t understand her motive. He inserted his own “performance” as the reason and that reason is false.

Well i accidently did end up telling her that the first time she brought it up and tried to explain the reason about my low performance, even though she didnt bring it up. The reason about being coworker and all she gave was after i explained myself to her. Damn!! I am such an idiot.

 

[stovepipe]

It's obvious you're confused, angry, sad, shocked and unsure wtf is going on. Everyone knows not to mix business with pleasure but most make the mistake anyways. You ignored your gut and now you're posting about it.

Simply tell her "things were in fact simpler as co-workers and it's better to just be that". STOP trying to understand everything as you'd only be wasting your time, on top of adding unnecessary stress.

It's pu$$y, there is plenty more where that came from outside of work. I always say there is one person in a relationship who cares less than the other, and that person holds all the power which is her. If you keep trying to explain yourself to her and showing it's effecting you, you're only making yourself look more like a weak beta b!tch in her eyes then you already have. Accept it as a lesson learned and a notch under your belt. Ain't no women worth your job and emotional health.

 

[FruitLoops]

Ok. Got it. She brought it up again despite the fact that she was having sex with you many times after that first time.

So what reason would she have for bringing it up, just out of thin air like that? Think about the question for a few minutes.

Women know that belittling a man’s performance can mess with the heads of certain men. What is she really doing and why?

The reason she gave me was that she was being honest with me. But now that i think about it with my big head i think she had started to lose interest in me then. Otherwise why would someone say this twice.

 

[Epic Days]

Well i accidently did end up telling her that the first time she brought it up and tried to explain the reason about my low performance, even though she didnt bring it up. The reason about being coworker and all she gave was after i explained myself to her. Damn!! I am such an idiot.

Ok. Forget all that $hit. Knock it off. You are turned inward and she did it on purpose. Why would a woman do that?

 

[devilkingx2]

The reason he is upset about it is because he doesn’t understand her motive. He inserted his own “performance” as the reason and that reason is false.

You are right that it definitely sounds like she was trying to bait him into causing this drama. Tis why I said that he's not the real reason they broke up. She caused it on purpose. She sounds like a damaged woman tbh

 

[FruitLoops]

Ok. Forget all that $hit. Knock it off. You are turned inward and she did it on purpose. Why would a woman do that?

I guess she did it just to mess up my head and maybe to make me chase her more. Cause this way i would be thinking that she didnt want to be with me and i would try harder and feel insecure.

 

[FruitLoops]

90 days man. 90 days

I do kind of have a scarcity mentality. I dont know, its kind of my desperation. Initially i didnt even want to be woth her. Then afterwards I kept saying to myself not to fall for her and maintain my cool and keep it causal. But i ended up in $hit.

 

[Epic Days]

The reason she gave me was that she was being honest with me. But now that i think about it with my big head i think she had started to lose interest in me then. Otherwise why would someone say this twice.

Ok. This is closer but you still don’t understand what’s going on. In this is the lesson.

She needed a justification to dump you. She was using you for sex as well as you using her for sex.

By triggering you with the “performance” angle, which YOU brought up, she could get a triggered response.
First off, you gave her the ammo. You brought up the performance issue and she filed it away.
Don’t ever do that again.

So now she had a tool to dislodge you to be with the new guy. By triggering your insecurities about your performance that first night, she could get a response from you. Anger, resentment etc.

She now has her justification. Instead of just telling you she was seeing someone else, she felt the need to spin you in with your insecurity. Performance.

1) Don’t ever react to a woman’s “dig” again. You should of laughed off the poor performance. I actually did that once. To many spirits. She talked to me later all concerned about that lame performance. I looked at her and smiled. I said, “hey we still had a great time.”
Her face broke into a smile and we carried on. She thought it was her. Duh

2). Never, ever argue with a woman again. Not ever. There is nothing to win or convince her of or drive your point in about. The argument, which she started, had absolutely nothing to do with your performance or anything else. She needed a justification to dump you. You gave it to her.

Never ever help a woman out with her hamster in a wheel thought process to make up a good reason to fuk someone else. She’s a coward.

 

[FruitLoops]

Ok. This is closer but you still don’t understand what’s going on. In this is the lesson.

She needed a justification to dump you. She was using you for sex as well as you using her for sex.

By triggering you with the “performance” angle, which YOU brought up, she could get a triggered response.
First off, you gave her the ammo. You brought up the performance issue and she filed it away.
Don’t ever do that again.

So now she had a tool to dislodge you to be with the new guy. By triggering your insecurities about your performance that first night, she could get a response from you. Anger, resentment etc.

She now has her justification. Instead of just telling you she was seeing someone else, she felt the need to spin you in with your insecurity. Performance.

1) Don’t ever react to a woman’s “dig” again. You should of laughed off the poor performance. I actually did that once. To many spirits. She talked to me later all concerned about that lame performance. I looked at her and smiled. I said, “hey we still had a great time.”
Her face broke into a smile and we carried on. She thought it was her. Duh

2). Never, ever argue with a woman again. Not ever. There is nothing to win or convince her of or drive your point in about. The argument, which she started, had absolutely nothing to do with your performance or anything else. She needed a justification to dump you. You gave it to her.

Never ever help a woman out with her hamster in a wheel thought process to make up a good reason to fuk someone else. She’s a coward.

Thanks a lot. That makes a lot of sense.

 

[Trump]

While i was explaining her my reason for being pissed off,

She doesn’t care about your reason, all she cares about is what you can do for her. Pissed off = emotional state. Gives her ammunition to destroy you when time is ripe.

How many times we have to say keep your emotions in check with women? You are feeding the beast if you expose them.

she out of nowhere started talking about breakup.

It’s not of out nowhere bro. You are just too blind to see it because you are so in LOVE.

In the end she said that she wants to take a break.
I have absolutely no idea what to do here.

You hit on younger hotter girls.

I understand i shouldnt have dated my coworker but it just happened.

Come in bro. ‘It just happened’ means I wanted to f her brains out.

Does this mean it is all over?

Probably.

What exactly does it mean she wants a break?

It means she does not want you in her face

a) explaining yourself
b) telling her how much you love her

Also how should i handle myself at my workplace.

The same way as when you weren’t seeing her.



“I can’t believe Vanessa, my bride, my ONE TRUE LOVE, the women who taught me the BEAUTY OF MONOGAMY, was a Fembot, all along. Wait a tick...that’s means I’m SINGLE again. Oh behave! YEAH!” - Austin Powers

 

[Epic Days]

Thanks a lot. That makes a lot of sense.

There are could be lots of reasons why she wanted to switch but she will never give it to you.

True, you have a lot to learn but this is all you. Accept that you created it. Learn.

 

[RangerMIke]

Three things:

1. Good sex only happens when both partners are into it. Bad performance is a two way street.... don't let a chick tell you it's all your fault. Now if she is just using you for sex... well.... then she is being selfish and you are just a performing grinder monkey, and yea... if you don't get her off she'll find a new grinder monkey. Don't take it personal.

2. Chicks who really like you do not push your buttons and make you angry. When this sh!t happens she is trying to drive you off or illicit a negative response... which she can then use as an excuse to dump you. Don't get angry just smile and walk away.

3. When a chick says she wants to take a break, it's over. There ain't no 'break' it's broken.... just move on. But really you should never let it get to a point when she is demanding a break.

 

[lamath]

Did no read the thread but
Never ever accept a break.

Next asap

Asking for a break means i wanna
explore my option, but i want to make sure i can come back to you if i dont find a better offer elsewhere

 

[051AV]

One you never sh*t where you eat you are lucky she never turned things nasty on you, it could still be a possibility. All I can say I hope you don't love your job because you may be looking for another one, HR depts. always take the woman's side no matter what. This will be a good life lesson for you loose your girlfriend and your job in one shebang lol.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Sorry to say, but there's no win/win here.
The closest you can achieve is stalemate.
You can take away her power (and keep your job) by doing the following.
You: "Hey, ya know.. I thought about this and you were right (a rare instance when you'd say this to a woman) ... this wasn't turning out any good for either of us. No hard feelings, okay?" Then walk away and go about your business. And do not look back.

 

[dude99]

T

I have been dating my coworker for past 3 months. Today i was a little angry at her. While i was explaining her my reason for being pissed off, she out of nowhere started talking about breakup. She said things were less complicated when we were just coworkers. While it is the first time i actually got angry at her.
In the end she said that she wants to take a break.
I have absolutely no idea what to do here. I understand i shouldnt have dated my coworker but it just happened.
Does this mean it is all over? What exactly does it mean she wants a break?
Also how should i handle myself at my workplace. I do see her everyday?

There are no breaks in a relationship. All a break says is one of these:

"I no longer care."

"A break gives me a get out of jail free card to cheat and ride the carasole."

" i want to test the single market while you wait on the shelf for me to return."

When she said things were less complicated when you were just coworkers, you should have just said "agreed. Goodbye."

3 months in and she is already talking about breaking up means her interest level is pretty dead.

Wish her well and let her go.

 

[FruitLoops]

T

There are no breaks in a relationship. All a break says is one of these:

"I no longer care."

"A break gives me a get out of jail free card to cheat and ride the carasole."

" i want to test the single market while you wait on the shelf for me to return."

When she said things were less complicated when you were just coworkers, you should have just said "agreed. Goodbye."

3 months in and she is already talking about breaking up means her interest level is pretty dead.

Wish her well and let her go.

Well when she said she needs break i simply said fine and that was end of chat. It happended on text. I havent talked to her since avout this stuff. Even at work today i was cool about it and acted as if nothing happened. I greeted her and talked to her briefly about work stuff and that was it.

 

[Alvafe]

3 rules you need to undertand,

never date coworkers (you are finally getting it)

if asked for a "time" end it right now, on this case you should also have said she was right we are coworkers and we better stop and stay profissional

never complain or have disccussion over text, it shows you are afraid, you should do this kind of thing face to face

from the gist of all

you was not sure about her, and even so go for it, sex was not ok since you was not into it, and she stating to think you wouldn't do for her needs, and you confirm it all since you send her a text, you should be cool about it

so things ended, just ignore her, stay profissional if she even ask says its better not sicne you 2 work together.

also she is older... can't you do better?