Girlfriend wants to take break

[FruitLoops]

I have been dating my coworker for past 3 months. Today i was a little angry at her. While i was explaining her my reason for being pissed off, she out of nowhere started talking about breakup. She said things were less complicated when we were just coworkers. While it is the first time i actually got angry at her.
In the end she said that she wants to take a break.
I have absolutely no idea what to do here. I understand i shouldnt have dated my coworker but it just happened.
Does this mean it is all over? What exactly does it mean she wants a break?
Also how should i handle myself at my workplace. I do see her everyday?

 

[Kotaix]

dating coworkers is a bad idea and you're acting like you're attached to her already, I'm sure that's what precipitated you in getting mad at her in the first place. You were both having fun and then you stuck your foot in it by having an emotional reaction. When she says take a break she means break up, very few women are direct in their communication.

How do you handle it? Be a man, be professional and don't hate her for it. If you let this bother you it's going to eat your mind.

 

[Billtx49]

If you let it bother you, it could eat your employment as well…

 

[FruitLoops]

If you let it bother you, it could eat your employment as well…

How do i stop it from bothering me. Tomorrow when i will be going to work, i ll be seeing her right there.

 

[Billtx49]

How do i stop it from bothering me. Tomorrow when i will be going to work, i ll be seeing her right there.

It was an ok thing before her and when you were together right ? It’s ok now also, but it’s the true downside of dating coworkers and more difficult…

 

[Kotaix]

How do i stop it from bothering me. Tomorrow when i will be going to work, i ll be seeing her right there.

Very simple: Let her go.

Hating her for what she's done or showing any negative emotional reaction to her presence is just a continuation of the anger that you showed, which is what drove her away from you in the first place. You'll poison your own mind if you dwell on it, and you'll do it to yourself.

 

[Epic Days]

How do i stop it from bothering me. Tomorrow when i will be going to work, i ll be seeing her right there.

There is no good advice for you, from your viewpoint. Are you trying to salvage the union or are you trying to prevent something else?

 

[FruitLoops]

There is no good advice for you, from your viewpoint. Are you trying to salvage the union or are you trying to prevent something else?

Trying to salvage the union is my first priority.

 

[Epic Days]

Trying to salvage the union is my first priority.

This puts you into a submissive position. a major turn off for a woman.
Specifically, what was the spat about?

I have a good lesson for you to contemplate. It’s important. No matter how trivial or important the argument, just be honest.

 

[FruitLoops]

This puts you into a submissive position. a major turn off for a woman.
Specifically, what was the spat about?

I have a good lesson for you to contemplate. It’s important. No matter how trivial or important the argument, just be honest.

Well here is what happened.
When the first time we went on date she invited me over to her place and we had sex. I didnt want to have sex cause i was scared that since she is my coworker so it might screw things in future. So i underperformed.
But still things went fine eventually.
Recently she told me that after our first night she didnt want to be with me and had doubts about it but still eventually went forward with me. I ignored it first time, but it kind of hit me on my ego. Two days back she repeated the same stuff while i was over at her place. This time it pissed me more. But i stayed quite.
But i couldnt contain it, so today i confronted her and told her via text that i was pissed off and gave her this reason. All of a sudden she just said that things were less complicated when we were just coworkers and that we should call it off. She said she just being honest to me and hence told me this stuff. At last she said that we should have break. I didnt force her or said anything else.

 

[Epic Days]

Well here is what happened.
When the first time we went on date she invited me over to her place and we had sex. I didnt want to have sex cause i was scared that since she is my coworker so it might screw things in future. So i underperformed.
But still things went fine eventually.
Recently she told me that after our first night she didnt want to be with me and had doubts about it but still eventually went forward with me. I ignored it first time, but it kind of hit me on my ego. Two days back she repeated the same stuff while i was over at her place. This time it pissed me more. But i stayed quite.
But i couldnt contain it, so today i confronted her and told her via text that i was pissed off and gave her this reason. All of a sudden she just said that things were less complicated when we were just coworkers and that we should call it off. She said she just being honest to me and hence told me this stuff. At last she said that we should have break. I didnt force her or said anything else.

Was it a continuing performance issue or was she stuck on that first time?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

She made those comments to you about not being sure about you to test you. It may not have been conscious, but she is trying to assess your worth and your self confidence... How much you value yourself. You failed that test by reacting the way you did. She is telling you, "I know you are into me more than I'm into you, and I'm really on the fence about you. My interest is low." If you respond with anger and frustration, it shows her she is right. No self-respecting person hears someone say that to them (especially repeatedly) and still wants to date that person.

Next, you told her you were upset over text. Never do that. It's weak AF. You set boundaries face to face and you do it right in the moment it occurs.

Your response could have been, "Yeah, I wasn't sure about you either and now I'm even less sure." And then you withdraw a bit and see if she pursues. If she doesn't, you cut her loose. Done.

I can tell you are really into her, and so can she. That's not working to your advantage, and also, why are you so into a girl who talks to you like that? Why does she deserve you exactly?

 

[FruitLoops]

Was it a continuing performance issue or was she stuck on that first time?

This is what she said, " i didnt want to come in relation with you after our first night together. It was because of we are coworkers and age difference. (She is a older than me)". I think it also had something to do with my performance the first time around.

 

[Epic Days]

I think it also had something to do with my performance the first time around.

Ok, well this is your own reason. Of course it could have influence on this but she had sex with you even after that right?

 

[devilkingx2]

I have been dating my coworker for past 3 months. Today i was a little angry at her. While i was explaining her my reason for being pissed off, she out of nowhere started talking about breakup. She said things were less complicated when we were just coworkers. While it is the first time i actually got angry at her.
In the end she said that she wants to take a break.
I have absolutely no idea what to do here. I understand i shouldnt have dated my coworker but it just happened.
Does this mean it is all over? What exactly does it mean she wants a break?
Also how should i handle myself at my workplace. I do see her everyday?

She no longer exists in the world you live in unless your work for that day directly requires her to exist.

You know who does exist from now on? Your other hot coworkers. And any other pretty girls who end your field of vision.

You're not getting the girl back and hypothetically if you did the way you would is by showing her that she's worse off without you. If you seem like you're doing way better than she is, she's more likely to want you back (but there are no guarantees)

In all honesty the reason she did something to make you mad is because she had low enough interest that she wanted to dump you, and so the fight was just an opportunity, this is the nature of women, just be happy she didn't cheat on you first lol.

Trying to salvage the union is my first priority.

WRONG. Not letting the breakup get you fired or fall into a depression spiral is your first priority, getting laid/enjoying life in general is your second priority. Reconciling should be a distant third at best.

 

[FruitLoops]

She made those comments to you about not being sure about you to test you. It may not have been conscious, but she is trying to assess your worth and your self confidence... How much you value yourself. You failed that test by reacting the way you did. She is telling you, "I know you are into me more than I'm into you, and I'm really on the fence about you. My interest is low." If you respond with anger and frustration, it shows her she is right. No self-respecting person hears someone say that to them (especially repeatedly) and still wants to date that person.

Next, you told her you were upset over text. Never do that. It's weak AF. You set boundaries face to face and you do it right in the moment it occurs.

Your response could have been, "Yeah, I wasn't sure about you either and now I'm even less sure." And then you withdraw a bit and see if she pursues. If she doesn't, you cut her loose. Done.

I can tell you are really into her, and so can she. That's not working to your advantage, and also, why are you so into a girl who talks to you like that? Why does she deserve you exactly?

To be honest its just my scarcity mentality that drove me towards her. Honestly she was barely 6. And i knew she wasnt worth it and i knew it would be bad idea to date coworker. But still i think it was my desperation to date someone, that just drove me towards her.

 

[FruitLoops]

Ok, well this is your own reason. Of course it could have influence on this but she had sex with you even after that right?

Yes. Very often

 

[Epic Days]

Yes. Very often

Cool. But she mentioned it again and you got angry inside. True?

 

[FruitLoops]

Cool. But she mentioned it again and you got angry inside. True?

Yes. And i expressed it after second time she mentioned it.

 

[Epic Days]

Yes. And i expressed it after second time she mentioned it.

Ok. Got it. She brought it up again despite the fact that she was having sex with you many times after that first time.

So what reason would she have for bringing it up, just out of thin air like that? Think about the question for a few minutes.

Women know that belittling a man’s performance can mess with the heads of certain men. What is she really doing and why?