Welcome to 3rd wave feminism and selling “something better is just around the corner!”. I looked at it this way, she’d dated her ex for a year, she dated me for just shy of 6 months....if she could walk away from me that easily after all that time then I didn’t develop the bond with her I thought I had. Felt like I did but the fact that it ended so fast told me I didn’t. And women wonder why guys don’t want to commit to relationships, it’s **** like that experience is why.
So I was a rebound
- Thread starter .Paradox.
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Well, it’s an important example for everyone. If she’s fresh out of a serious relationship, she needs more time, 6 months to a year usually until she’s emotionally available again.
If she’s fresh out, it all seems good with the instant sex and her emotional expressions, etc., but it’s all a show for you and an emotional wound healer for her. Nothing more than that…
If she’s fresh out, it all seems good with the instant sex and her emotional expressions, etc., but it’s all a show for you and an emotional wound healer for her. Nothing more than that…
The problem is women won’t give themselves time to get over those long relationships. If that hadn’t happened to me it would have happened to someone else. They also never come right out and tell you the whole story about that relationship they are getting over, you get bits and pieces here and there. I met this girl 2 months after her breakup and it was a good month before I even knew she’d just gotten out of something that serious. It was 3 months before I learned she’s been engaged to him.lol
On the first date she was going to come over because she insisted on me trying these "white claw" drinks with her. Before the date she texted me saying she was nervous about coming over and asked if I'd meet her out. I agreed, but she ended up changing her mind and just coming straight over with the drinks. This was essentially a "netflix & chill" kinda date, but we also got to know each other a fair bit. The next day she was hitting me up saying how she was glad she came over, how she wanted more of me as soon as possible, and even that she was masturbating multiple times thinking about our night. And if you're wondering, yes, I reciprocated the sexting.
Monday and Tuesday we were in touch and decided that I'd come see her Thursday. Lots of excitement and blah blah from her on Thursday about seeing me. One thing that stood out was a text from her saying "wanna get drinks or food or anything tonight? Or are you just trying to come over and bust a nut?" I told her I'm down to grab dinner and she said "yayyyy." We went out for dinner, which was fun, and she insisted on paying since I drove to her. I kept telling her I'd pay but she really insisted and I settled for paying the tip. Went back to her place, talked, cuddled, had sex, the usual, etc... I didn't leave till after 1am, and even went BACK to her place after leaving to kill a spider for her lmao (I'm serious). Left again and she was texting me saying I was her hero, I'm the perfect amount of dominant, she loves when I prop her ass up and spank her, I turn her on like crazy, saying we have amazing sexual chemistry, and how she wanted more of me.
She texted me the next morning (Friday) and we bantered throughout the day. Saturday she initiated contact with me again and we chatted and set up a date for Sunday. It actually seemed like after our second date she was getting MORE interested in me. I mean, you don't initiate texts two days in a row with someone, calling them "daddy" and telling them how much they turn you on, if you don't "vibe" with them, do you? Anyways, Sunday I took her out in my area for dinner. I paid but she insisted on paying the tip. One thing she said that stood out was something about feeling nervous or uneasy, but as I remember she said it was like a "butterflies" feeling, which I actually thought was a positive thing. And something else that was a bit of a red flag... She told me she got married when she was 19 (she's 25 now) to a guy in the military after a MONTH of dating because the military was making him move out of state (just like her latest ex), then after a short time he cheated on her and it ended. But moving on... We went back to my place, we had sex, but she didn't seem as into it as the two previous dates because, in her words, she was getting her period soon. She actually initially said she didn't want to have sex, and after like 10 mins told me she wanted me to cvm (signaling to me that she wasn't about it that night). If I'm being honest, I kind of feel like pushing her for sex that night was the wrong move. After she left she texted me saying she was home, thanked me for dinner and said it was a fun night. No contact on Monday.
And that leads to the OP...
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I guess that’s why her past is the main screening process focus and her recent past should be looked into first…
They know this though, that’s why they trickle it out but by bit to get you invested first so that you CANT drop them based on their past.
Ain’t many men that can see a girl constantly for 1 sometimes 2-3 days a week for months and not become invested. Abundance and all but eventually one girl is going to beat out those others. Unless you’re a sociopath it’s almost impossible.
A
AJ84
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You said her relationship ended because he moved away? Was that the only reason why it ended?
Poonani Maker
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I know how ya feel man, no matter how many girls afterward (even right afterward) you fvck, you still can't (well, you can if you think hard) grasp why she turned on a DIME when while in bed she was talking about for Life being together. It was an infinity feeling you both got, a far-reaching feeling and/or vision of "this person is for you."
What do you mean? Honestly I can pull all two weeks of texts and message them to you if you really want to analyze them. I wasn't in a needy state until after she rejected me. I was comfortable and wasn't worried about losing her at all until Tuesday, which was after our last date. Between the first, second and third date I legit thought I "had" her and was actually worried that I might end up ultimately hurting her. And the sappy texts in the OP that I sent her Tuesday (I wanna cuddle up next to you, etc., I want to see you again soon, etc.) weren't coming from a place of neediness--I had sent her sh!t like that previously and there were no issues.
I've thought about literally everything and it's just fvcking me up worse and worse. Did I do something in bed? Did I not do something? Did she not like my house/car/haircut/voice? Did I say something wrong or not say something I should have? Did I tell her too much about me or not enough? Did the pimple on my ass freak her out? I'm not even kidding. I've thought about all these absolutely ridiculous things, and the worst part is, all the over-analyzation in the fvcking world won't even give me the faintest idea what truly made her lose interest. For all I know, she might not even know the reason herself.
And you know what else? In trying to make myself feel better, I invited an old fvck buddy over tonight who's only in town another couple days. Half-way to my place I had to tell her not to come and to go back home because out of nowhere I started feeling fvcking horrible. And I go on these dating apps and swipe girls but all I'm doing is saying "not as hot as *her*, not as hot as *her*, not as hot as *her*" and it makes me feel worse. The hottest woman in the world could show up in my life right now and I'd still feel like ****. This is probably the most, or close to the most, emotionally weak and pathetic I've ever felt. At least the last time I felt like this it was because I was young, dumb, and got sh!t on by someone I had been seeing for 6 months.
Oh you’ll get **** on by women no matter what age you are. You can learn a lesson from this one but most likely you’ll never encounter another woman like her or a situation like this, and that’s a good thing! I’m hoping I never ever meet another woman or situation like I mentioned in the post I made above. If I do then hang me now.lol
As for text messages that might have turned her off. Maybe, I dunno. No one really knows. I was dating this girl seriously and our texting was fine. Then when she was freezing me out days after our trip, she made a comment about some interview she had. It happened to be on my birthday so I said “cool I’ll use my wish for good luck for you.lol”. She comes back “don’t waste a wish on me”. The fvck? How do you respond to that? Asked her what she meant and she says “idk”. So I left it at that and let her feeeze me out for good. Stopped trying at that moment.
As for text messages that might have turned her off. Maybe, I dunno. No one really knows. I was dating this girl seriously and our texting was fine. Then when she was freezing me out days after our trip, she made a comment about some interview she had. It happened to be on my birthday so I said “cool I’ll use my wish for good luck for you.lol”. She comes back “don’t waste a wish on me”. The fvck? How do you respond to that? Asked her what she meant and she says “idk”. So I left it at that and let her feeeze me out for good. Stopped trying at that moment.
mrgoodstuff
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No, don't stop dating if find the girl you like.. You only have to learn the sign and red flags at the beginning.. Let say the girl gave you ioi you started dating her, watch just watch how seriously she's into you..throwing out feelers, S3x by any means isn't an indicator that she likes you for ltr, there's to be sets of admiration, trust and respect has to be established before any involvement in emotional connection dept.. You ain't the only one who learn this lesson mate.. Lots of guys do.
Focal core
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I wonder if they ever growing up if they never being alone with themselves. IMHO it's the men who's setting the women up to be this way, lots of giving away free validation, being a savior white Knight, at the at the food chain it'll be a beta providers wifing a girl that can't even open up a bottle of ketchup. Not to mention a lots of regulations/laws that was approved by the men himself that goes against another men ex. feminisme,divorce law,custody laws that leads to parental alienation. This has to stop somewhere.
Smarter man nowdays doesn't even wanted a marriages anymore. Men could loose everything.
Dlck over pvssy, pvssy wins everytime and its easy to get a Dlck comparing vice versa, where are we in this pyramid? Lol, in the trash can.
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It's really strange that I've never experienced this situation even when I've been sleeping around since young.
Then we have those crazy women that somehow manages to screw up men's lives. Never had that too.
Seems like it's a common theme in Sosuave.
I too would like to experience it since many of you are almost professionals at it.
Tell me guys, what must one do to achieve this professional state ?
Then we have those crazy women that somehow manages to screw up men's lives. Never had that too.
Seems like it's a common theme in Sosuave.
I too would like to experience it since many of you are almost professionals at it.
Tell me guys, what must one do to achieve this professional state ?
DelayedGratification
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Yeah, I had what turned into a texting relationship with a younger woman, which at the time was very mutually beneficial. We flirted with the idea of more but nothing ever came of it. Then she moved away for a year, and we continued our texting, even though both of us were in a better place. That was all fine until she moved back north.
While she was away I had helped her out with a few things (yeah, I'll get **** on here for that, but it wasn't big and it was the least I could do for the emotional support and perspective she had provided for me when I most needed it), and when she came back I kept getting these promises to get together. Strong implications of intimacy but never overt. But she kept flaking every time it came down to actually having her visit. On the third time I when she flaked, I just let it sit. Her last text to me was something like, "I don't think I can make it". Haven't heard from her since. Which is disappointing in the context of the relationship we had and how much we helped each other, but I was just done.
Are you saying don't reply to her texts/randomly ghost her? Because in the great scheme of it she probably initiated contact more than me, and I was just replying and going with the flow most of the time. Most of our texts were sexual in nature as well. Literally her saying **** like "I love it when you prop my ass up in the air and tell me not to move so daddy can violate me." I admit that I definitely fvcked up bad by not detaching my emotions, and I'm paying for it dearly now.
Focal core
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You was her another options, aka orbiter.
This is where its wrong here. You need to be someone who has his shlt together to avoid being used again.
Focal core
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You don't satisfy a women up her ass in the air until a very solid foundation has been built in relationship aka admiration, trust and respect.. For what I see she just having fun with you.
Korrupt
Banned
I think the whole thing about text game on this forum is overblown. Yeah, most guys have a terrible text game, but that's the thing... Most guys have a terrible text game and are still getting laid and getting relationships. A girl who likes you will forgive a lot of stuff. Text game is most important before you meet in order to convince her that she should hangout with you. The only exception is if you're just ungodly cringeworthy and needy to the point of seeming like a creepy stalker--that's a different story, but usually not the case.
My take on this still stands the same... She's recently out of a serious relationship and not over her ex (I mean who likes their ex's pics on Instagram months after they've broken up? Oh right, a person who wasn't ready for the relationship to end and is hanging onto their ex for dear life). She was using OP, and who knows--maybe even other guys too before him, in an attempt to fill the void her ex left. Essentially, she's desperately trying to fill her "ex void" with attention/sex/rebounds, but it doesn't work because she was in LOVE with her ex and no new guy can compete with that love (UNTIL she manages to move on from him/loses those feelings for him). She liked OP enough to not only bang him several times, but also WANT to go out on legit dates with him (and not just bang). If she just liked the sex, she wouldn't have wanted to do anything but bang with no strings. Thing is, she was probably comparing him to her ex the entire time, and when he didn't bring the same feelings out of her that her ex did (LOVE) she broke it off. But like I said, no new guy can compete with that. OP was doomed from the start.
To OP: I know what you're feeling. I've been there. You know what I had to do after my worst breakup? Convince myself that it wasn't over. Convince myself that I WOULD see her again--that everything would be okay with us. Yes, I had to delude myself. Sounds stupid, right? Right. Except this helps you get through the first couple weeks, then you start to talk to other girls, you start to care about the original girl less and less, and eventually you're seeing other women and don't care about her at all or even want to see her anymore. I look back and am GLAD my ex dumped me. I don't even know why I liked her now lol. But you need to be able to function through this first week. It's the worst part. And this was only 3 dates... I'd be surprised if you're not totally over this chick in 2 weeks TOPS.
Oh yeah, and you know what else, OP? This girl will probably eventually hit you up. A few bad tinder (or whatever dating app) dates and a few nights of bad sex and she'll start thinking "woah I fvcked up. OP was lightyears better than these chumps," and come crawling back. There's nothing more sobering than sh!tting on someone and a month later after some failures realizing the person you sh!t on was your best bet.
My take on this still stands the same... She's recently out of a serious relationship and not over her ex (I mean who likes their ex's pics on Instagram months after they've broken up? Oh right, a person who wasn't ready for the relationship to end and is hanging onto their ex for dear life). She was using OP, and who knows--maybe even other guys too before him, in an attempt to fill the void her ex left. Essentially, she's desperately trying to fill her "ex void" with attention/sex/rebounds, but it doesn't work because she was in LOVE with her ex and no new guy can compete with that love (UNTIL she manages to move on from him/loses those feelings for him). She liked OP enough to not only bang him several times, but also WANT to go out on legit dates with him (and not just bang). If she just liked the sex, she wouldn't have wanted to do anything but bang with no strings. Thing is, she was probably comparing him to her ex the entire time, and when he didn't bring the same feelings out of her that her ex did (LOVE) she broke it off. But like I said, no new guy can compete with that. OP was doomed from the start.
To OP: I know what you're feeling. I've been there. You know what I had to do after my worst breakup? Convince myself that it wasn't over. Convince myself that I WOULD see her again--that everything would be okay with us. Yes, I had to delude myself. Sounds stupid, right? Right. Except this helps you get through the first couple weeks, then you start to talk to other girls, you start to care about the original girl less and less, and eventually you're seeing other women and don't care about her at all or even want to see her anymore. I look back and am GLAD my ex dumped me. I don't even know why I liked her now lol. But you need to be able to function through this first week. It's the worst part. And this was only 3 dates... I'd be surprised if you're not totally over this chick in 2 weeks TOPS.
Oh yeah, and you know what else, OP? This girl will probably eventually hit you up. A few bad tinder (or whatever dating app) dates and a few nights of bad sex and she'll start thinking "woah I fvcked up. OP was lightyears better than these chumps," and come crawling back. There's nothing more sobering than sh!tting on someone and a month later after some failures realizing the person you sh!t on was your best bet.
Korrupt
Banned
I mean part of me wants to agree with you here, but then why on the 3rd date is she telling OP that she doesn't want to have sex (the "I'm getting my period soon" excuse)? I kinda get the dates, but if she's just looking for fun why would she meet him that night to go out for dinner, but try to turn down sex? It's totally contradictory.