When everything lost its meanings...

Jager

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That's interesting.

So basically, you are responsible for creating your own meaning. Since following society ideas or creating your owns
Excellent, you’re getting it. Form your own view of the world. Society has beat it into you that you should be just like everybody else, just as enslaved, quiet and controlled as everyone else. Just as meek as everyone else.

Fvck. That.

You’re on the right track. Modify it to something along the lines of “I create my own life. I create my own purpose and vision. My life is my own creation.”

I’m a massive supporter of bringing a man’s ability, confidence and self-determinism back up to where it needs to be. Use the above as a mantra, and you’re taking big steps. Like I’ve said before, women are a dessert brought to you by your efforts in life. They aren’t even close to the focus of it. They should never be the focus of it.
 

Blacksheep

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Excellent, you’re getting it. Form your own view of the world. Society has beat it into you that you should be just like everybody else, just as enslaved, quiet and controlled as everyone else. Just as meek as everyone else.

Fvck. That.

You’re on the right track. Modify it to something along the lines of “I create my own life. I create my own purpose and vision. My life is my own creation.”

I’m a massive supporter of bringing a man’s ability, confidence and self-determinism back up to where it needs to be. Use the above as a mantra, and you’re taking big steps. Like I’ve said before, women are a dessert brought to you by your efforts in life. They aren’t even close to the focus of it. They should never be the focus of it.
I totally agree with that.

The only thing that I see weird is: why all the time I try to do that, my therapist try to show me that I'm not right? I'm really intrigued by that. Since I don't lie to him and when I see that something isn't clearly I ask him to prove his point. But basically he just keep saying the same things.

I don't blame him, but I think there's something wrong. Like he said one day: "Sometimes we have to accept being Beta male, cause those have qualities to be a good provider."

It's annoying sometimes, but also those contradictions is making me think more about that.
 

Alvafe

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I totally agree with that.

The only thing that I see weird is: why all the time I try to do that, my therapist try to show me that I'm not right? I'm really intrigued by that. Since I don't lie to him and when I see that something isn't clearly I ask him to prove his point. But basically he just keep saying the same things.

I don't blame him, but I think there's something wrong. Like he said one day: "Sometimes we have to accept being Beta male, cause those have qualities to be a good provider."

It's annoying sometimes, but also those contradictions is making me think more about that.
pretty much? what happen with therapy when you solve your problems? here is the deal with therapy, unless you are crazy sh!t its useless, I did dwell on some psychology things, something to make me undertand my mind and others mind, manipulating people is normally easy and simple, you take what dive then and use it to your benefit, hence why con artists are succesfull, they take the greed of they target and make it work for then, the newest form of this was that girl gamer who sold her bath water, (and several dudes get her herps, with is nice a virgin with herps that is something new), but moving on

think who really want your best interest in mind? you, other people will have they, a therapist will try to make you be better and still be dependent on him, think on a drug dealer, its even worse if is female,

I doubt he said really that, but just think in another level, what happens to others when you start to get big, better, richer, showing having a better life? they will drag you down, misery loves company, and no one want someone else better then thenselfs
so if he is a beta who want to skip life he will not let you move forward and being better then him, worse is sometimes they don't even know
 

Kotaix

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Everything you said states that you seek validation from others and you're not getting the validation that you want. Learn to be your own mental point of origin. This is what that means. You do things for yourself and lead because you want to do things and bring others with you, but you do it for your own sake.

When you stop trying to control the outcome of everything by establishing expectations, you will find yourself flooded with opportunities.
 

Epic Days

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OP - This is your consciousness trying to unplug from the world of illusions. Let it. It will feel weird. Like falling into a black hole and losing your sense of self.

This is something a lot of people are going through right now. People everywhere are starting to see the illusion and are trying to awaken.

You venting is simply you letting everything go.

It is only when you realize that nothing matters that you are able to enjoy life and not take it too seriously. You might even become curious about what happens after life. This is actually a very high state of being. It is letting go of worldly attachments. These people die the most peaceful deaths and have the least amount of fear.
This is exactly what happened to me. One day I just started over. Now, I can’t be fooled because there’s nothing in me that even fits that paradigm.
 

Jager

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"Sometimes we have to accept being Beta male, cause those have qualities to be a good provider."
You have to accept being a Beta male? It makes you a good provider?

Your therapist is a d!ck. You don’t have to accept sh!t.

With that statement alone I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your therapist is a giant pvssy. He’s just as stuck in the matrix as 90% of the male population is.
 

Spaz

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You have to accept being a Beta male? It makes you a good provider?

Your therapist is a d!ck. You don’t have to accept sh!t.

With that statement alone I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your therapist is a giant pvssy. He’s just as stuck in the matrix as 90% of the male population is.
He's clever, he wants repeat customers to get more money.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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I totally agree with that.

The only thing that I see weird is: why all the time I try to do that, my therapist try to show me that I'm not right? I'm really intrigued by that. Since I don't lie to him and when I see that something isn't clearly I ask him to prove his point. But basically he just keep saying the same things.

I don't blame him, but I think there's something wrong. Like he said one day: "Sometimes we have to accept being Beta male, cause those have qualities to be a good provider."

It's annoying sometimes, but also those contradictions is making me think more about that.
The norm for the therapist is health. You're to be a well-adjusted individual fitting into the social norms. The problem is the norm. Those that are existentially 'awakened' must pursue the excellent otherwise will give in to despair.... virtue [vir/ virility/ manliness] or vice. Anything but mediocrity.
 

highSpeed

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Maybe I just got crazy, or maybe I just can't handle all the pain anymore.

I don't see any meaning in being a good man, since even if you're the best for society, people will try to kick you down. Family, friends, women...

There's no meaning chasing sex or playing the game of sex, since even if you're the best at it... there will always be pain.

There's no meaning being a good son, cause it will never be suficient for your parents.

There's no meaning being a good men, cause you will never be enough for your wife.

There's no meaning chasing the perfect body and fitness. You can lose it someday.

There's no meaning being a good dj, cause women will always find a better guy than you.

There's no meaning doing sex, even with it's pleasure, it can cause a lot of pain too.

There's no meaning in society, since it will always make you a slave and will **** you whenever it could.

There's no meaning about money, cause someone can take it off of you, and if don't... life will take it off of you when you die.

There's no meaning saying the truth... People and society values the ones that lie to them. Truth is quite hard to be heard. And you can be hated for everyone if you do that.

There's no meaning about chasing the utopic "Freedom" idea... The moment you're born, you're death's slave. You're Society's slave. You're alse slave from your own mind since you cannot control it fully (and I never found 1 theory that really works).

There's no meaning about pleasure and desire, since it can never be totally fullfilled.

This is just an outburst, and maybe none of this has a meaning... But anyways, I come to this moment when everything lost its meaning.

I had beauty, I used had sex with more than 3 women per week, and I didn't had to use any techniques to catch those girls, they come to me. When I was at 18-25. Had a lot of friends around to use my home to make parties and invite girls. I had money to spend with the things I wanted. I had a jacuzzi to put naked girls and make any kind of fantasy became true. But when you lose your beauty, everything is gone. Everyone is gone.

I dated some really hot chicks, fall in love, become a ****in AFC and was stupid enough to believe that I should be this nice guy. But when those girls dont want your money, status and sex... They will **** another guys. When you become fat, because those women want you to be like that so you're not desirable. So, they kick you.

When you stop being what your father want you to be, it may happen that he will threat you all the way and mess up with your mind. But it's not his fault. The fault is for the ones who don't know how to absorb it inside his mind. Thing I couldn't do cause even if I have all the motives to leave, I still can handle with the idea that when my dad is gone, I will suffer so much. Cause I can't stop loving him. And I just want to be his friend.

I miss a lot of things I lost because I was weak, I let those negative energies destroy my mind. I chased the truth and I get part of it... And it's so devastating that maybe living with a mask was better. I read all kind of books, all kind of psychology, philosophy, and everything related to human and life. And when you understand some stuffs, its a reality crash.

This is the last place I still feel comfortable to expose my feelings and thoughts... I don't know, but I felt that at least here there are men that I can learn a lot with their feedbacks. So, it still have a meaning.

I'm feeling really down, I'm living a weird, crazy and difficult period of my life... I fight against my demons, against my imperfections, against the things I have to improve... But I can't be strong enought all the time.
I think we all lose our way occasionally. I think we get discouraged. I think we're over a specific time or person in our life. We're sick of a specific food. We're tired of working out. Persevering though, doing something sometimes, even when you're not even sure why you're doing it anymore, it can hold you over until you find the next "meaning" in your life.

It's like not getting that job that you were desperate to have, that you were desperately chasing and now you didn't get it or you got it and it's not what you thought it would be. It's a let down. You start questioning yourself, your choices and your life. It's that moment when you decide to keep soldiering on, even in the face of disappointment or lack of "meaning", that can carry you over until you find that thing that will reignite the spark that you were missing.
 

Blacksheep

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You have to accept being a Beta male? It makes you a good provider?

Your therapist is a d!ck. You don’t have to accept sh!t.

With that statement alone I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your therapist is a giant pvssy. He’s just as stuck in the matrix as 90% of the male population is.
He said something like: "If you can go work and make money for you family, even if you sacrifice your Alpha traits, it can be considered an Alpha behavior."

I know he said that because he is married and probably he defend that, cause saying something different would be against his owns beliefs and life choices.

Another example was caffeine: I had blood pressure problems and had to start medications. When I used to drink coffee it literally raises my blood pressure and make me more stressed and hunger (my body might be more sensitive to it). There are scientifically evidences for that. Not everyone will have those side effects, but it happened to me.

He said he cannot live without a cup of coffee and everytime I tried to talk about that, it was like he was getting angry with me because I was saying that this psychoactive drug was not good for me + I wanted to find a way to quit that or find a balance. My perception was that he tried to prove all the time that this was not a drug, because if it was, he as a therapist would not be a good example, since he cannot control his own addiction. It's just an idea I observed.

Maybe I'm doing what @Kotaix said and trying to find validation on others. But I would really like to find some usefull help somewhere. It's not being easy to fight with all demons inside my head and all the things that happened with my relationship with my dad.

I'm doing what I can to find a solution, to understand and to overcome that. I've spent days, money and effort doing all the things to improve myself... I read a tons of books (Psychology, Neurochemic, Philosophy, even Self-Help, some Freud theories)... Tried to do Coaching tools to reprogram my mind, therapy, meditation, yoga... but I don't think the solution is anywhere.

Maybe what I'm looking for will only be found inside me. I just doesn't understand it completely.
 

Spaz

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He said something like: "If you can go work and make money for you family, even if you sacrifice your Alpha traits, it can be considered an Alpha behavior."

I know he said that because he is married and probably he defend that, cause saying something different would be against his owns beliefs and life choices.

Another example was caffeine: I had blood pressure problems and had to start medications. When I used to drink coffee it literally raises my blood pressure and make me more stressed and hunger (my body might be more sensitive to it). There are scientifically evidences for that. Not everyone will have those side effects, but it happened to me.

He said he cannot live without a cup of coffee and everytime I tried to talk about that, it was like he was getting angry with me because I was saying that this psychoactive drug was not good for me + I wanted to find a way to quit that or find a balance. My perception was that he tried to prove all the time that this was not a drug, because if it was, he as a therapist would not be a good example, since he cannot control his own addiction. It's just an idea I observed.

Maybe I'm doing what @Kotaix said and trying to find validation on others. But I would really like to find some usefull help somewhere. It's not being easy to fight with all demons inside my head and all the things that happened with my relationship with my dad.

I'm doing what I can to find a solution, to understand and to overcome that. I've spent days, money and effort doing all the things to improve myself... I read a tons of books (Psychology, Neurochemic, Philosophy, even Self-Help, some Freud theories)... Tried to do Coaching tools to reprogram my mind, therapy, meditation, yoga... but I don't think the solution is anywhere.

Maybe what I'm looking for will only be found inside me. I just doesn't understand it completely.
You had too much failures.

Time to win and get urself back on track.

Start off by winning some small easy battles 1st then gradually move up to harder ones.

For example, today you'll help humanity in some small but profound way by going out and randomly giving free food to 1 homeless man, thinking that if everyone just randomly give a free meal to the homeless then not many people will sleep on an empty stomach.

Win some battles to make yourself feel good again.
 

Blacksheep

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You had too much failures.

Time to win and get urself back on track.

Start off by winning some small easy battles 1st then gradually move up to harder ones.

For example, today you'll help humanity in some small but profound way by going out and randomly giving free food to 1 homeless man, thinking that if everyone just randomly give a free meal to the homeless then not many people will sleep on an empty stomach.

Win some battles to make yourself feel good again.
Thanks man!

Gonna do that! It makes sense and I just remembered to read something similar to this somewhere... idk if it was on rollo tomassi book but it's a good idea that I didn't tried yet!
 

Spaz

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Thanks man!

Gonna do that! It makes sense and I just remembered to read something similar to this somewhere... idk if it was on rollo tomassi book but it's a good idea that I didn't tried yet!
Rollo must have copied me since I've never read rollo's book or even finished the rational male, I got bored after 3 minutes.

But go ahead and win.

You need to win a few simple battles. Focus on that for now.
 

Epic Days

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There’s lots of ways to win. This weekend I finished installing a new shower door in my second bathroom. Do a good job and make it look good.
 

Blacksheep

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Spot on.

Keep on winning until it snowballs and once it starts to roll it can only grow bigger.
Started it and it's being good for getting myself up again.

Also, are there any books you can share that is worth reading?
 

Kotaix

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If you want a more spiritual kind of book, I'd suggest Zen mind, Beginner's mind by Shunryu Suzuki. It's not a religious text, it's just a way of finding contentment in life which you seem to lack. The Tao Te Ching is also helpful for that, but it's very crytpic.

On the more practical side, and because you have a history of family not appreciating you, read No More Mr Nice Guy.
 

Spaz

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Started it and it's being good for getting myself up again.

Also, are there any books you can share that is worth reading?
Sorry for the delay, I sometimes get sidetracked in real time with other things.

No buddy, I'm not the type to go buying books on self improvement etc. More the type to buy books for their entertainment value, mostly thrillers.

Everything I've posted is based on something I've experienced, been through and how I handled it.

So, yes, once I'm in a losing streak, I'll revert back on the winning side by doing some simple winnable task to get things snowballed again.
 

Jager

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Sorry for the delay, I sometimes get sidetracked in real time with other things.

No buddy, I'm not the type to go buying books on self improvement etc. More the type to buy books for their entertainment value, mostly thrillers.

Everything I've posted is based on something I've experienced, been through and how I handled it.

So, yes, once I'm in a losing streak, I'll revert back on the winning side by doing some simple winnable task to get things snowballed again.
Simple solution, for exponential growth in results.
 
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