Blacksheep
Master Don Juan
Maybe I just got crazy, or maybe I just can't handle all the pain anymore.
I don't see any meaning in being a good man, since even if you're the best for society, people will try to kick you down. Family, friends, women...
There's no meaning chasing sex or playing the game of sex, since even if you're the best at it... there will always be pain.
There's no meaning being a good son, cause it will never be suficient for your parents.
There's no meaning being a good men, cause you will never be enough for your wife.
There's no meaning chasing the perfect body and fitness. You can lose it someday.
There's no meaning being a good dj, cause women will always find a better guy than you.
There's no meaning doing sex, even with it's pleasure, it can cause a lot of pain too.
There's no meaning in society, since it will always make you a slave and will **** you whenever it could.
There's no meaning about money, cause someone can take it off of you, and if don't... life will take it off of you when you die.
There's no meaning saying the truth... People and society values the ones that lie to them. Truth is quite hard to be heard. And you can be hated for everyone if you do that.
There's no meaning about chasing the utopic "Freedom" idea... The moment you're born, you're death's slave. You're Society's slave. You're alse slave from your own mind since you cannot control it fully (and I never found 1 theory that really works).
There's no meaning about pleasure and desire, since it can never be totally fullfilled.
This is just an outburst, and maybe none of this has a meaning... But anyways, I come to this moment when everything lost its meaning.
I had beauty, I used had sex with more than 3 women per week, and I didn't had to use any techniques to catch those girls, they come to me. When I was at 18-25. Had a lot of friends around to use my home to make parties and invite girls. I had money to spend with the things I wanted. I had a jacuzzi to put naked girls and make any kind of fantasy became true. But when you lose your beauty, everything is gone. Everyone is gone.
I dated some really hot chicks, fall in love, become a ****in AFC and was stupid enough to believe that I should be this nice guy. But when those girls dont want your money, status and sex... They will **** another guys. When you become fat, because those women want you to be like that so you're not desirable. So, they kick you.
When you stop being what your father want you to be, it may happen that he will threat you all the way and mess up with your mind. But it's not his fault. The fault is for the ones who don't know how to absorb it inside his mind. Thing I couldn't do cause even if I have all the motives to leave, I still can handle with the idea that when my dad is gone, I will suffer so much. Cause I can't stop loving him. And I just want to be his friend.
I miss a lot of things I lost because I was weak, I let those negative energies destroy my mind. I chased the truth and I get part of it... And it's so devastating that maybe living with a mask was better. I read all kind of books, all kind of psychology, philosophy, and everything related to human and life. And when you understand some stuffs, its a reality crash.
This is the last place I still feel comfortable to expose my feelings and thoughts... I don't know, but I felt that at least here there are men that I can learn a lot with their feedbacks. So, it still have a meaning.
I'm feeling really down, I'm living a weird, crazy and difficult period of my life... I fight against my demons, against my imperfections, against the things I have to improve... But I can't be strong enought all the time.
I don't see any meaning in being a good man, since even if you're the best for society, people will try to kick you down. Family, friends, women...
There's no meaning chasing sex or playing the game of sex, since even if you're the best at it... there will always be pain.
There's no meaning being a good son, cause it will never be suficient for your parents.
There's no meaning being a good men, cause you will never be enough for your wife.
There's no meaning chasing the perfect body and fitness. You can lose it someday.
There's no meaning being a good dj, cause women will always find a better guy than you.
There's no meaning doing sex, even with it's pleasure, it can cause a lot of pain too.
There's no meaning in society, since it will always make you a slave and will **** you whenever it could.
There's no meaning about money, cause someone can take it off of you, and if don't... life will take it off of you when you die.
There's no meaning saying the truth... People and society values the ones that lie to them. Truth is quite hard to be heard. And you can be hated for everyone if you do that.
There's no meaning about chasing the utopic "Freedom" idea... The moment you're born, you're death's slave. You're Society's slave. You're alse slave from your own mind since you cannot control it fully (and I never found 1 theory that really works).
There's no meaning about pleasure and desire, since it can never be totally fullfilled.
This is just an outburst, and maybe none of this has a meaning... But anyways, I come to this moment when everything lost its meaning.
I had beauty, I used had sex with more than 3 women per week, and I didn't had to use any techniques to catch those girls, they come to me. When I was at 18-25. Had a lot of friends around to use my home to make parties and invite girls. I had money to spend with the things I wanted. I had a jacuzzi to put naked girls and make any kind of fantasy became true. But when you lose your beauty, everything is gone. Everyone is gone.
I dated some really hot chicks, fall in love, become a ****in AFC and was stupid enough to believe that I should be this nice guy. But when those girls dont want your money, status and sex... They will **** another guys. When you become fat, because those women want you to be like that so you're not desirable. So, they kick you.
When you stop being what your father want you to be, it may happen that he will threat you all the way and mess up with your mind. But it's not his fault. The fault is for the ones who don't know how to absorb it inside his mind. Thing I couldn't do cause even if I have all the motives to leave, I still can handle with the idea that when my dad is gone, I will suffer so much. Cause I can't stop loving him. And I just want to be his friend.
I miss a lot of things I lost because I was weak, I let those negative energies destroy my mind. I chased the truth and I get part of it... And it's so devastating that maybe living with a mask was better. I read all kind of books, all kind of psychology, philosophy, and everything related to human and life. And when you understand some stuffs, its a reality crash.
This is the last place I still feel comfortable to expose my feelings and thoughts... I don't know, but I felt that at least here there are men that I can learn a lot with their feedbacks. So, it still have a meaning.
I'm feeling really down, I'm living a weird, crazy and difficult period of my life... I fight against my demons, against my imperfections, against the things I have to improve... But I can't be strong enought all the time.
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