I am crushed and I don't know what happened

[17 shots]

She stopped texting you for 4 months, and instead of reaching out ONCE to see what's up with this girl that you spent years with, you decided to play it cool and say nothing

She was most likely testing you to see if you cared at all, and you failed. There's playing it cool, and then there's just not using your brain dude

 

[rz11]

Relax.

I already guessed what she did when I 1st posted here, that's why I asked you what's so special about her, it's to self reflect.

Most men come here feeling broken because they were indeed broken from within after being with a girl for many years, part of the feminine imperative is to subconsciously 'train' a man.

And that 'training' involves breaking a man down slowly until he becomes slave - like, with him thinking its part of proving his love.

However once that's achieved, she loses her admiration towards him and ultimately her respect.

Once that's lost, you're lost her love.

Side note: The other posters here that's gunning at you not being great are women who like all women would want to enslave you further.

Agree. Also, I think the reason that I didn't want to commit was that I didn't trust her again after that period in which she treated me like sh*t for not having my act together. That made me wake up and realize that there was no "unconditional" love.

 

[rz11]

She stopped texting you for 4 months, and instead of reaching out ONCE to see what's up with this girl that you spent years with, you decided to play it cool and say nothing

She was most likely testing you to see if you cared at all, and you failed. There's playing it cool, and then there's just not using your brain dude

That wasn't the first time she did something like that, she is a poor communicator, instead of explaining what bothers her, she goes silent. Besides, she did it just when a relative of mine had just died and I found that disrespectful so I wasn't gonna get involved in that game.

 

[rz11]

You had a woman. Then you learnt game, and then you lost the woman 'cos you wanted to keep your options open. Thank game for that.

If it weren't for game, I'd have lost her much sooner.

 

[Trump]

Not dating until she was 16 (legal age here in Spain), but she made clear the interest in me when she was 13.

A girl in Grade 8 told you “I’m very interested in you” when you were in Grade 12?

Damn. If we even talked girls in Grade 8 when we were in Grade 12, we would be arrested.

I'm 27, great physical shape, I have a PhD in Artificial Intelligence and I am the typical guy that get attention from women.

That worked and I got her back, a couple of months later same story but this time I take the Red Pill. That was three years ago.

I have to be honest and say that even though I knew that I should have a rotation of women I had all my eggs in one basket with her. I know, bad way to go.

Typical guys don’t get attention from women

If you put all your attention on her, you didn’t take the Red pill.

But anyway, my acting was really on point, pure Alfa, over this past three years the sex was over the roof, no drama, she comes to my house when I say so, usually once or twice a week and she ****s my brains out. Constantly talking about marrying me, wanting kids with me and all that.

Acting, having constant sex, talking about marriage and kids and all that is not what makes a man alpha, let alone pure alpha.

So 4 months ago she stopped texting me. I thought that was, of course, a tactic to have me cave in and summit, which of course I didn't do. I went about my life thinking that she would be back as submissive as always.
This time I was wrong. I saw her the other day and I know she has a new boyfriend. The dude is a Beta Male Provider because in less than a month the guy is meeting her parents planning to go live with her and all that crap.

If she stopped texting you, how do you know that?

Meeting parents and living with a good looking girl is not “beta male provider”. They could be splitting bills 50/50, she could be paying for everything.

Boy there are a lot of assumptions and labels in your post, getting the sense you are making this up.

Regardless of the situation, I feel crushed because of the number of years I have with this girl, and also I believe I did everything by the book. Until the last day, she was all over me and couldn't wait to come to my place to have sex. I know about hypergamy

How could you know about hypergamy and be so crushed?

What I don't know is if a girl could be over a guy who she has so much attraction like that and never look back? or she just using that dude for security?.

She is 23 btw and I never sent her a text from the point she ceased contact. Thanks to all of you in advance and sorry for the long text.

If she ceased all contact, how do you know anything about what she is doing? She could have got a major movie role in Hollywood or gone to China for modelling.

Story is not adding up bro, hard to believe.

 

[rz11]

If you put all your attention on her, you didn’t take the Red pill.

True. I'd say I am familiar with the Red pill, not the same as have taken the Red pill. My fault.

If she stopped texting you, how do you know that?

We both are from the same small town and are here for vacation. Friends in common let me know that she was with another dude.

Meeting parents and living with a good looking girl is not “beta male provider”. They could be splitting bills 50/50, she could be paying for everything.

Could be. Maybe I say that to myself to feel better.

Boy there are a lot of assumptions and labels in your post, getting the sense you are making this up.

No I'm not. I didn't take the time to write all this for entertainment.

How could you know about hypergamy and be so crushed?

I knew about hypergamy after I was emotionally involved with her.

If she ceased all contact, how do you know anything about what she is doing? She could have got a major movie role in Hollywood or gone to China for modelling.

Story is not adding up bro, hard to believe.

Small town, friends in common. When I mean small town I mean 1,000 people, so it's almos impossible to don't know what everybody is doing.

 

[AJ84]

Thanks for adding more clarity. It sounds like she was at times not sure about being with you so understandable why you would not want to commit if there was a chance she would change her mind, as she questioned things before.

Yes there is history but remember that some of that wasn’t good history, don’t just dwell on the good memories and the good things about her. It’s easy to forget about the negative things in people if it feels like they left a void but really you are in a better place without her as now you don’t have to wonder if she’s the one for you. She isn’t.

With time it will get easier and best bet is to focus on yourself and moving forward.

You mentioned that you wanted to know what you could of done differently. Probably not much, if she was not sure about being with you despite any changes you made re game or frame etc.

Sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw no matter how tight your game is.

Just continue to meet and date girls.

 

[rz11]

That's some key information. She doesn't sound so great after all.

Yeah, I suppose I rationalize and idealize her because of all the time we spent together. She grew up without a father figure (the guy had alcoholism problems) and I think that could have also had created some emotional baggage against men. Deep down I think I knew I could not have a good committed relationship with her, but that doesn't change the fact that these things hurt anyway. I guess this is all for the better. Thanks again

It’s easy to forget about the negative things in people if it feels like they left a void but really you are in a better place without her as now you don’t have to wonder if she’s the one for you. She isn’t.

I think you are right. I am definitely in a better place, I have a mix of a sense of freedom and nostalgia.

 

[Epic Days]

It does make a difference.

Camp No. 1 is the masculine mind frame.

Camp No. 2 is the feminine mind frame.

Camp No. 1 asked, what's so special about her, there's nothing, so it's a waste of time thinking, to be dismissed from the mind henceforth and/or if the reply was indeed she is special with some outstanding qualities, then we'll have to probe deeper, since obviously OP has erred in some ways and it would be good to get to the root cause, simply to avoid a repeat.

Camp No. 2, despite knowing full well she's not special nor outstanding, keeps on focusing on him NOT being committed enough. That puts suggestions in his mind that he should commit regardless, of course in the coming future.

Why should a man commit to a women who is not special?

Again, two different men. The impetus is again to obtain and hold a woman. This is catastrophic by its very nature. This whole thread is about holding a woman via some deliberate action to entice or express some egocentric version of the man being superior to other men.

The OP clearly stated that when he was uncertain about her, she wouldn’t stay away from him. Then when he couldn’t control his emotional state, he step right in line with the manipulation. All this scenario did was elevate her in her own mind. He is just practice on her road to an “optimized” man via the sexual and intimacy manipulation venue.

The two camps of men are clearly divided.

 

[rz11]

Again, two different men. The impetus is again to obtain and hold a woman. This is catastrophic by its very nature. This whole thread is about holding a woman via some deliberate action to entice or express some egocentric version of the man being superior to other men.

The OP clearly stated that when he was uncertain about her, she wouldn’t stay away from him. Then when he couldn’t control his emotional state, he step right in line with the manipulation. All this scenario did was elevate her in her own mind. He is just practice on her road to an “optimized” man via the sexual and intimacy manipulation venue.

The two camps of men are clearly divided.

Hard pill to swallow but I see that I am in the feminine mind frame. I will learn from the experience. Thanks

 

[Epic Days]

Hard pill to swallow but I see that I am in the feminine mind frame. I will learn from the experience. Thanks

It is a hard pill to swallow at first. But if you continue to learn about the feminine imperative, one day all the clouds will evaporate for you and you will feel a freedom you have never felt. The freedom to be a man again.
You will wonder how you ever survived back in that $hit storm.

 

[rz11]

It is a hard pill to swallow at first. But if you continue to learn about the feminine imperative, one day all the clouds will evaporate for you and you will feel a freedom you have never felt. The freedom to be a man again.
You will wonder how you ever survived back in that $hit storm.

It's inspiring to have men like you guys pointing the bigger picture problems (mindset and feminine conditioning) of my approach and not focus on the quick fix and general solutions to "get back with her" as popular culture does. I think I definitely needed a situation like this to accelerate my unplugging from the feminine matrix.

 

[rz11]

How do you know how he's making her feel? Did she tell you? Again even still its just words. Actions bro. Who is she with??

You are right, I think she got a dude that is esy avalible and willing to commit but of course I'm not sure. Anyway, I definitely could do better and avoid the emotional attachment next time dating multiple women. If I enter a serious relationship at this point of my life of a fear of losing this girl I would regret it forever so its time to move on and get better.

 

[sosousage]

text her from fake facebook account that her bf is virgin cuck

 

[rz11]

Speculating about the next guy (or other guy if it's cheating) is mental masturbation and narcissistic thinking. It's a waste of time. I've been there. "Oh, she just wanted a pushover," or "she wanted to ride the c0ck carousel" or whatever. This kind of thinking always flows back to you. It supposes that you and the other guy are zero-sum 2-dimensional dudes and that she lacks agency in her decisions. More importantly, it feeds the ego and pushes against personal growth and change. That is, if you weren't serving up what she ordered and he was, you can feel like you weren't the problem or that there's no need to learn and improve after this.

Do your best to bulldoze all thoughts of her, him, and anything else out of your brain, but not before taking stock in how you would handle such situations differently. As an example, in the past for me it's been a reluctance to disappoint people or to be honest about my goals and desires. I'm a more brutally honest person now and it saves a lot of long term discomfort.

NOTE that I'm suggesting you learn and grow, not beat yourself up over what you could have done - the past is the past.

I agree with you, however if I have done something right during these years is to take responsibility for what happened in my relationship and use it to improve myself. That is the reason why I was able to turn around a situation that seemed hopeless and get my girl to be back hell over heels in love with me after I had shown insecurity.

Comparing myself with the other guy I think is indeed a waste of time as well as mental masturbation but my idea was not to rationalize about why she is with him and not with me but rather to understand what it could lead a girl to take a similar situation. I say this because the situation with me was very good, something I deduce from her actions and not from what she said. However, I believe that the reason to start dating a former friend who had been in orbit for years (that I do know) has been the call of hypergamy and prioritizing a "Long term mating strategy" over a "Short term mating strategy", something that is a very common behavior and that many of you will have lived more times than me.

Anyway, the main problem I see in all this is what both @Spaz and @Epic Days have reflected about my frame of mind. All my life I have felt the need to seek the approval of others. Getting good grades, being the best in my promotion, being in good shape, saving my relationship, etc. And while many of these actions are positive in themselves, the reason for achieving them was not. It is absolutely important that I put myself as the reference point in my life and realize that I don't have to prove sh*t to women or anyone else as they have taught me all my life. Which doesn't mean avoid opportunities for self improvement.

Thanks @samspade

 

[Epic Days]

Anyway, the main problem I see in all this is what both @Spaz and @Epic Days have reflected about my frame of mind. All my life I have felt the need to seek the approval of others. Getting good grades, being the best in my promotion, being in good shape, saving my relationship, etc. And while many of these actions are positive in themselves, the reason for achieving them was not. It is absolutely important that I put myself as the reference point in my life and realize that I don't have to prove sh*t to women or anyone else as they have taught me all my life. Which doesn't mean avoid opportunities for self improvement.

Thanks @samspade

Here is a good way for you to reframe. I used it substantially at first. Not only is it effective but it’s true.

Even the most feminine male amongst us has abilities and creativity that women can only dream of having. Women struggle their whole lives thinking they are equal but will forever struggle trying to obtain a man’s inherent gift. His creative mind.

 

[Epic Days]

OP- First of all women do not ghost as a test. That's ridiculous. I used to give dating advice TO women on a female dating forum so I would know.

And she did not get over you at the drop of a hat.

The other guy (and possibly more guys) were always in the picture until she finally decided to monkey branch.

It looks "sudden" to you because you believe she wasn't spinning plates and that you were the center of her world. She's the REAL seducer in this game. You were just one of her pawns.

Priceless. Hahaha

 

[rz11]

OP- First of all women do not ghost as a test. That's ridiculous. I used to give dating advice TO women on a female dating forum so I would know.

And she did not get over you at the drop of a hat.

The other guy (and possibly more guys) were always in the picture until she finally decided to monkey branch.

It looks "sudden" to you because you believe she wasn't spinning plates and that you were the center of her world. She's the REAL seducer in this game. You were just one of her pawns.

Could be, if not spinning plates for sure prospecting. If I'm honest all this months of no contact I didn't even blink at the possibility of contacting her, but it is now that I see she's with another dude that I don't like the situation. I think is my ego whats hurting, but I'll take the loss as a man and use the experience to get better.