I just got home. First of all, thank you all again for the comments, many of you have opened my eyes, but I do not agree with some of them. I think that in order to understand this case well it is necessary to explain a little more how our relationship was.
The year in which this girl started college we were dating and meeting with some normality, in fact, at that time (5 years ago) we had the label of boyfriend-girlfriend. Before that time things were great, but that year the fact of seeing each other very often made her start to raise the typical doubts that come to women when they have a guy always available. "I don't know if we want the same thing, etc." On many occasions telling me that I didn't give enough of my part, which was completely false.
At that moment we gave ourselves a break in which I was quite hurt. Few months after we got back together and this time I did what she said she wanted: more time together and more commitment from my part. It turns out that this time she treated me badly all year long and she didn't even feel like hanging out with me or having sex until I got tired of the situation and decided to have some self-respect and leave her.
That's when I seriously study relationships, dating, etc. And I was focused on myself. My life improved a lot in all aspects. The next time I saw her she tried to get back together by all means. I agreed because I had and have feelings for this girl, but this time I used my knowledge to make the relationship work for both of us.
During these three years she got tired of repeating that she had never been so in love with someone, that she had never been so happy that I was the man of her life, etc. This did not go unnoticed, even her mother told me "I don't know what you do to her, but thank you very much".
If I didn't have a more serious relationship with her at that time, it was precisely because the time in which I did it was horrible and she treated me like garbage. Maybe I'm not able to keep the attraction in a more engaged relationship, but I didn't play with anyone and I certainly didn't use this girl for sex. In fact, our dates were not to come to my house and fvck, but could be understood as those of a committed relationship: beach, dinner, and so on. The only thing is that maybe I wasn't available as often as she wanted because uncertainty was working very positively in our relationship.
In addition, I want to make it clear that my intention in this relationship was more to give than to receive. For me it would have been much easier to have looked for another more attractive girl and forget the problems if I bothered all this time to be a better man has been to improve the relationship I had with her because I liked to see her in love and happy. I do not think she made that same effort herself.
I also want to make it clear that since I am involved with her I've always received a lot more attention from the opposite sex than her. Practically every week I've had a situation where a girl tried to have something with me and yet I never did anything out of respect for her.
If she is with another guy then great! What bothers me is that she seem to move on like it was nothing. Obviously I've made mistakes, but I'm better because of them and I think this situation will make me better. I am only asking with humility if I could have done something better to do it in the future if I am given a similar circumstance.
Thanks for your support