Ghosted by yet another woman, I don't get it.

[sazc]

Let's see how good looking u r.

Prove it.

Once that's settled the forum can then look into other aspects and figure out where you exactly need help.

He already posted a pic, ur late to that party

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios your replies are reminiscent of Bigdave. You post asking for input, you get input, and then you defend your initial actions and dismiss and negate everything everyone has to say.

Let's see how good looking u r.

Prove it.

Once that's settled the forum can then look into other aspects and figure out where you exactly need help.

What relevance does this have to do with anything I've mentioned?

 

[Spaz]

He already posted a pic, ur late to that party

How did he come off?

Brutal honesty is required.

 

[sosousage]

What relevance does this have to do with anything I've mentioned?

we are secretly gay here and like seeing photos of young fit accomplished men

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Nothing. You're doing fine. Let women peel you back like an onion to learn these things about you. I never tell a woman what I am all about, what I do, the money I make. I let them ask. I let them learn in bits. I can literally see them become more intrigued as they learn more. And I'm doing it with women who are interested enough to spend time with me before having any clue that I make six figs and so forth. I am not wasting my time with women who refuse to go out with me before they know what I make.

Offering these accomplishments and benchmarks up front in an attempt to appease them just to get them to go out with you is more often than not going to undermine your own standards with women.

Your job now is learn how to find and lure women who are willing to give you just enough time so that you can reveal some of these qualities; so that they can learn there is far more to you than just being a pizza guy. You just need to focus on the many little nuances of interacting with women in order to get that time, as I eluded to earlier.

I can assure you that you didn't fail because you were the pizza guy. You actually succeeded in spite of it. And you did it with the kind of woman men should want to succeed with: the ones who aren't going to judge you so readily.

You just over-estimated and over-reached for a level of time/commitment based on the very little she was given at her doorstep. That's all.

There is no need to try so hard. This is a weird game in which you can bunt and still end up with a home run.

As pizza guy he can get several numbers a night

 

[sangheilios]

Nothing. You're doing fine. Let women peel you back like an onion to learn these things about you. I never tell a woman what I am all about, what I do, the money I make. I let them ask. I let them learn in bits. I can literally see them become more intrigued as they learn more. And I'm doing it with women who are interested enough to spend time with me before having any clue that I make six figs and so forth. I am not wasting my time with women who refuse to go out with me before they know what I make.

Offering these accomplishments and benchmarks up front in an attempt to appease them just to get them to go out with you is more often than not going to undermine your own standards with women.

Your job now is learn how to find and lure women who are willing to give you just enough time so that you can reveal some of these qualities; so that they can learn there is far more to you than just being a pizza guy. You just need to focus on the many little nuances of interacting with women in order to get that time, as I eluded to earlier.

I can assure you that you didn't fail because you were the pizza guy. You actually succeeded in spite of it. And you did it with the kind of woman men should want to succeed with: the ones who aren't going to judge you so readily.

You just over-estimated and over-reached for a level of time/commitment based on the very little she was given at her doorstep. That's all.

There is no need to try so hard. This is a weird game in which you can bunt and still end up with a home run.

I realize that there is more to me than just being a pizza delivery guy lol. Back in December I picked up my first delivery gig so I could bring in more money to invest into crypto, which paid off massively. I had to leave the last place due to personal conflict I had there but the current place I've been at I make way more money, though now I'm just saving it up for PT school next year and other costs I'll have for then.

As pizza guy he can get several numbers a night

I try not to make a habit of asking women out when I'm working, not out of fear of rejection but just wanting to avoid potential drama or other negative consequences.

I didn't post about this on here, but back in March I had delivered to these girls that were having a party, they were really open and talkative with me so I asked one of them out. Anyway, we were texting back and forth and she told me she was only 16, so obviously I had to back out of that. She was very developed, as in boobs and hips/ass, and I thought she was around 19 when I saw her at the door.

 

[Igetit!]

You didn't even give her time to finish eating her pizza before you were trying to plan stuff

Finish eating the pizza??? I don't think she had time to even open the box.

I was shocked when I read this. He said he delivered the pizza to this chick....then he texted her WHEN HE GOT BACK TO HIS CAR.

That means he had his phone out starting to text AS HE WAS WALKING AWAY FROM HER FRONT DOOR.......or at least VERY SOON afterward. Man. I've been here 11 years,and........and just when I think I've seen it all......


And if that wasn't enough,after he delivered her pizza to her and when back to the job to deliver the next order,he said her texted her AGAIN after making that delivery. I was like,"What??". NOBODY can be this naive. This almost seems like a joke thread.


If he's THIS naive......THIS clueless......I don't know if he can be helped merely by telling him what the answer is. I mean it's clear to everyone here what he did wrong......he texted her too soon. And honestly,he shouldn't be hitting on girls while doing deliveries,to be honest,but that's besides the point. This is like someone racking their brains trying to figure out what 1+1 is.......it's MINDBOGGLING to see.

 

[sangheilios]

Finish eating the pizza??? I don't think she had time to even open the box.

I was shocked when I read this. He said he delivered the pizza to this chick....then he texted her WHEN HE GOT BACK TO HIS CAR.

That means he had his phone out starting to text AS HE WAS WALKING AWAY FROM HER FRONT DOOR.......or at least VERY SOON afterward. Man. I've been here 11 years,and........and just when I think I've seen it all......


And if that wasn't enough,after he delivered her pizza to her and when back to the job to deliver the next order,he said her texted her AGAIN after making that delivery. I was like,"What??". NOBODY can be this naive. This almost seems like a joke thread.


If he's THIS naive......THIS clueless......I don't know if he can be helped merely by telling him what the answer is. I mean it's clear to everyone here what he did wrong......he texted her too soon. And honestly,he shouldn't be hitting on girls while doing deliveries,to be honest,but that's besides the point. This is like someone racking their brains trying to figure out what 1+1 is.......it's MINDBOGGLING to see.

Huh?

It literally went like this;

I get back to my car after delivering and say this is xyz the delivery guy, to which she immediately replies by saying this is so and so.

20-30 minutes later was when I had mentioned I was going to be busy all evening and the next couple days but for her to let me know when she'd be available. That's literally it.

 

[Rodrigo]

when I had mentioned I was going to be busy all evening and the next couple days but for her to let me know when she'd be available. That's literally it

I know it follows a basic etiquette, especially if you've just met a new person but it just puts you in a bad position with a girl.
I don't know if anyone has mentioned it so far but I don't think you needed to inform her of your schedule for a week ahead. Wanting her to tell you when she'll be available means you're already playing by her rules and are willing to adapt to her own time and schedule and probably go out of your way if necessary only to win yourself a date with her.

Now, I know it's really easy to advise once a situation has unfolded in a particular way but here is what I'd do if I were you.

1) Text her only once so she can store my number
2) Remain silent afterwards and call her several days later to ask her out (it will depend on my schedule and time)
3) If she says "yes", then you meet up. If she says "no" you want to look for one simple thing:
a) does she proactively suggest an alternative day and time (say, she is indeed busy and has some chores during the time you initially offered)
b) she negates your invitation due to whatever reason but doesn't bother offering an alternative day/time which could fit both your schedules.


If it is a) then you're still in the game and she might have some interest in going out with you but if it's b) then you're pretty much done and want to move on and forget about her.

As a matter of fact, I'm in a quite similar situation myself with a Tinder match and might actually use your thread as a road-map for this girl. So we matched on Thursday. On Friday I was able to bounce her to Messenger but the conversation was scarce because after she got done working she drove several hundred miles to her parent's town. There is one thing that convinces me I should give it a shot: on two occasions when I texted her, she delayed her reply. The first time was on Thursday and she said. "sorry, can't chat now because I'm out with my girlfriends" and later, before bedtime she wrote again to tell me good night. The second time was on Friday - again she apologized for not being able to chat as she was driving 4 hours after work and got home (at her folks' place) past 10:30pm. I was also out with friends and couldn't chat either. But she behaved in a respectful manner. I don't know if it's just some game she's been pulling on me or she was just genuine. So Friday evening was the last time we texted and haven't done it over the weekend. My plan is to hit her up around Tuesday, see if she's gotten back and go for a date invite. No need to complicate things unnecessarily.

 

[Igetit!]

Huh?

It literally went like this;

I get back to my car after delivering and say this is xyz the delivery guy, to which she immediately replies by saying this is so and so.

20-30 minutes later was when I had mentioned I was going to be busy all evening and the next couple days but for her to let me know when she'd be available. That's literally it.

Yes....I know. Like you said......that's literally it.

And you see NO PROBLEM in all this?

In your first post,in the 4th paragraph,you said......

I didn't even get a simple ok or anything this evening so I just assumed what always happens whenever I try to meet women was continuing yet again,JUST CHRONIC GHOSTING OVER AND OVER

You said "chronic ghosting over and over". So I take it this wasn't the first time this happened.......

or the second
or the third.....
or 4th....5th,6th,etc,etc. So everywhere YOU go,"chronic ghosting" also shows up.

So the girl may be different,but it's the same guy (YOU) over and over again.

One time it might be "Susie",the next "Linda"....."Amanda","April",Lucy","Amber","Ginger","Melissa","Rachel"....on and on and on and on.......it may be a THOUSAND DIFFERENT GIRLS.....but the ONE CONSTANT......the ONE THING that NEVER CHANGES and is ALWAYS THERE.......is YOU. And when YOU are there,"chronic ghosting" isn't far behind.


Sir......do you think maybe the problem.....is YOU? If this problem shows up everywhere YOU go,do you think it might be time to take a look at how YOU INTERACT with women and see if there's something YOU can change?

You keep seeming to want to blame the women,accusing them of "leading you on". Not every girl....just the ones YOU come in contact with. Every girl you try to talk to,"Oh.....well she led me on". Sir....do you know you can't have a leader without a follower?


You're the MAN here......YOU should be leading. If EVERY GIRL you come in contact with seems to be "leading you on",maybe you ought to check your MANHOOD card.


Go check yourself for a second....have a look in the mirror. See if you can see what the rest of the forum CLEARLY SEES about you.

 

[sazc]

Lol, he's not going to get it

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

She just had a medium to low interest level, with your limited interaction its normal imo.

Dont take this personal, you did good asking her out.
But imo you need to get better at spotting body language.

+1

Its why you XYZ location. Time and date. Any ambiguity you next her.

I hit it rotten and I will next hee for female logic.

 

[sangheilios]

Yes....I know. Like you said......that's literally it.

And you see NO PROBLEM in all this?

In your first post,in the 4th paragraph,you said......




You said "chronic ghosting over and over". So I take it this wasn't the first time this happened.......

or the second
or the third.....
or 4th....5th,6th,etc,etc. So everywhere YOU go,"chronic ghosting" also shows up.

So the girl may be different,but it's the same guy (YOU) over and over again.

One time it might be "Susie",the next "Linda"....."Amanda","April",Lucy","Amber","Ginger","Melissa","Rachel"....on and on and on and on.......it may be a THOUSAND DIFFERENT GIRLS.....but the ONE CONSTANT......the ONE THING that NEVER CHANGES and is ALWAYS THERE.......is YOU. And when YOU are there,"chronic ghosting" isn't far behind.


Sir......do you think maybe the problem.....is YOU? If this problem shows up everywhere YOU go,do you think it might be time to take a look at how YOU INTERACT with women and see if there's something YOU can change?

You keep seeming to want to blame the women,accusing them of "leading you on". Not every girl....just the ones YOU come in contact with. Every girl you try to talk to,"Oh.....well she led me on". Sir....do you know you can't have a leader without a follower?


You're the MAN here......YOU should be leading. If EVERY GIRL you come in contact with seems to be "leading you on",maybe you ought to check your MANHOOD card.


Go check yourself for a second....have a look in the mirror. See if you can see what the rest of the forum CLEARLY SEES about you.

Every single woman I've been ghosted by had been around circumstances that were all fairly unique and different from one another.

In late April/Early May of this year I had been ghosted by a woman who I gone out with 3 times, not once but 3 times. I couldn't figure out what that was about so I gave up on women for a while. I feel that one was afraid of getting pumped and dumped, something just felt off about the whole thing.

In June, about a month ago, I went on my first ever tinder date, pretty sure I was pseudo catfished because she looked VERY different from the photos. I found her to be not just unappealing physical but painful to interact with, she ghosted me as well but I'm not really that shocked by that given how I clearly didn't want to be there lol.

In January of this year I had a woman ask me for my number when I was out for the night with my friends, she literally approached me and introduced herself and asked for my number with no interaction at all between us. A few days later we met up for a date, I wasn't all that into her but I still had a good time.....never heard back from her after that, which really wasn't a big deal.

Last fall/late summer I met a couple bitches at my gym that literally lead me on for no reason. One I had approached, talked to for a bit and then the next time she saw me she asked me out on a date that night. She flaked and I never heard back from her but she continued to approach me and flirt with me. For example- She was sitting on the leg press machine and she literally took my hand and put it on her thigh when we were discussing her yoga pants. Just an attention *****, she did that to tons of guys out here and is for real a psycho *****.....I could tell you a lot of stories about her that I've heard from other people lol.

The other woman I approached after she pseudo broke the ice with me. I asked for her number, which was when she told me she had a bf, so I just told her it was nice to meet her and left. Every single time she was there she would go out of her way to approach me, engage with me, etc. I asked her out a second time a couple months later, got turned down and then she stopped approaching me/talking to me, which is honestly what should have happened the first time I had asked her out.

June of last year I had gone out on a mini golfing date with a girl I had met when I was out with my friends for the night. We were at a bar and we ended up talking to one another for over an hour. She gives me her number and the very next day she had sent me all these texts, so we made plans to meet up the following day when we were both available. On our date mini golfing I literally had my arms wrapped around her several times, plus I had a lot of fun. Never saw her again after that, though there were a couple briefs messages exchanged back and forth.

I've had a lot of more minor ones where I'd get numbers at a bar or some random chance encounters in every day life. Many of these would result in literally no response at all, which from what I've heard is actually pretty common, especially since the interactions I had with them were very brief.

For example- Last fall I was at the bank and briefly speaking with the female banker. Before I left I asked for her phone number, she hesitated at first but decided to give it to me. She texted me back right away but we never ended up going out.

 

[sangheilios]

@Igetit!

I apologize for providing so many examples, and I could go on and on, but I just wanted to show you that I'm meeting women in a pretty large variety of environments, and doing so in different ways.

These women are all of various races, though predominately hispanic and white, I live in AZ. The ages varied, as young as 18 to mid 30s, possibly more because I didn't know her exact age. The only constant is me and the fact that I met all of these women where I live right now.

Most women I am in fact meeting in very spontaneous settings where our initial interactions would be fairly brief, nowhere near long enough to build any real sort of comfort or rapport.

I'm just super frustrated with all of this, and I think the manner of which I am meeting women is very unrealistic, at least in regards to actually making anything come to fruition. Most people I've seen in actual relationships, or at least gone out more than once, generally met each other through their social circle or some sort of shared activity (class, co ed sports, etc. ).

Combine the honestly very difficult cold scenarios like I have with not having elite game skills and naturally I'm not going to get any results lol. As I mentioned before, my player friend tells me I'm learning and it's normal to make these mistakes, but I don't know if that is the case. None of this feels natural to me in the slightest, as I was/am an extreme late bloomer and didn't even start dating until well into my 20s.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Asking a girl out when delivering her hot pizza?? Get real. lol

This is even worse than complete 'cold approach'.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

How many girls have you gotten numbers for in the last 12 months? How many of those did you text the same day you got the number? How many of them did you text within two hours?

I have never, ever, not once, texted a girl the same day I got her number. The minimum I wait is two days. Max is 7.

This is from four months ago, in response to my telling you to wait a few days to text:

Also, what I text her and when I do so does not matter at all.

So, are you the expert or are you here for help? Because if you are the expert, then I don't understand why you keep failing and complaining about it. Are you seeing why some people are becoming irritated with your posts? You get advice and not only don't take it, you tell us we are wrong then continue to complain about failing.

Explain to us why you think it's a good idea to text immediately, given your results and given the advice you've received here.

 

[sangheilios]

How many girls have you gotten numbers for in the last 12 months? How many of those did you text the same day you got the number? How many of them did you text within two hours?

I have never, ever, not once, texted a girl the same day I got her number. The minimum I wait is two days. Max is 7.

This is from four months ago, in response to my telling you to wait a few days to text:


So, are you the expert or are you here for help? Because if you are the expert, then I don't understand why you keep failing and complaining about it. Are you seeing why some people are becoming irritated with your posts? You get advice and not only don't take it, you tell us we are wrong then continue to complain about failing.

Explain to us why you think it's a good idea to text immediately, given your results and given the advice you've received here.

I gave a break down of some examples on post #82, there are others but of course I'm not going to have more minor encounters memorized, as I had mentioned on there.

I've had women respond to and schedule a date within THE day of getting their number. What is continuous is ghosting, which may or may not necessarily be due to specifically texting. In this scenario it is very possible that the texting was the issue, but it also could be something else. If a woman would really like to go out with some guy she met do you think she'd lose interest simply because he asked for a date that day? Of course not. Granted, I'm sure there are women out there where such things do in fact matter, but if such a simple "mistake" is such a big deal then I'm clearly wasting my time.

Her: "Oh I just met a nice man who asked me for my number, yay me". 1 hour later Her: "Oh, he just asked me when I'm available......ewwwww" LOL.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

If a woman would really like to go out with some guy she met do you think she'd lose interest simply because he asked for a date that day? Of course not. Granted, I'm sure there are women out there where such things do in fact matter, but if such a simple "mistake" is such a big deal then I'm clearly wasting my time.

Ok then stop asking questions. You have all the answers you need. Whatever it is inside of you that is causing you to ignore advice, continue doing the same thing despite repeated failure, thinking you have all the answers, and then repeatedly complaining, is also likely responsible for whatever some of these women are smelling on you that causes them to reject you.

If a woman would really like to go out with some guy she met do you think she'd lose interest simply because he asked for a date that day?

You delivered a fvcking pizza to her dude. Why do you think she "REALLY "wants to go out with you? Are you a 10 in looks? Unless you're a 9 or a 10, *most* girls aren't going to be *jumping* at the chance to go out on a first date with you. Some will be curious enough to give you a first date to see how you make them feel but brother, you delivered a pizza to her..... Seriously. You have some sort of entitlement delusions that the girls you meet should have immediate pre-date high interest in you, with zero game on your part, so much so that they start texting you in seconds of number exchange.

 

[guru1000]

I had a pizza boy show up at my door this weekend for a delivery of pizza. I told the girl I was with to open the door and give the pizzaboy a $20 tip. As I'm generous. And so she did. The pizzaboy was ecstatic. Not only did he get a $20 tip but he also got to see a hot girl.

And so we sat down in the 1000 sq ft dining area to eat the pizza, while the pizza boy went back to his pizza van for his next delivery.

Status is ALL. IF want to pick up hot chicks delivering pizza, lol, you Better bring more status (i.e. looks and sick game) to the table then just the pizza. Otherwise stick to venues where your status can shine, and leave business as business.

 

[guru1000]

I'm curious as to how many guys here can dress up like a low status, pizza boy and get an attractive, 20-something woman to agree to go out on a date with them in the time it takes to exchange a pizza at her doorstep. I would bet 95% of those guys would FAIL.

That is correct. And part of the 95% of guys who would fail would be seasoned guys too. OP is not seasoned. He's still learning to get to first base. Hence, I rather give him a fighting chance.

It's kind of like watching an obese guy picking up women and failing over and over and over again, thread after thread after thread, with exactly the same result despite ALL the advice given ... AND then you tell him to just build more comfort. I'd advise him to just STOP, get to a normal bodyweight first, and that should be his focus. Similarly, as OP already has looks (but no game which can take even longer to develop), I rather he position himself in venues where his status can shine (gym, yoga, professional conventions, etc.)

Then once he bangs a handful and build some game/momentum, then proceed to pizzaboy game if he elects. lol

Also, her giving the phone # does not mean she was interested, as most would dole out their # just to make the guy go away. His followup only reinforced the problem (low status), but did not create it. The problem has less to do with his followup and more to do with his start default position (pizza delivery). Hence the focus.