Conflicted, two girlfriends which to choose?

[xplt]

Girl B so you learn your lesson

so for me it was a hard lesson... you will compare a with b all the time

 

[Focal core]

This is easy.. Girl A

 

[Spaz]

Another expressive male.

OP you should compare notes with @Murkserious.

And when you both grow tired of the drama, refocus that excess emotions into something other then woman or multiple women.

Flowtheory wrote how he goes about refocusing it, not sure which thread but you should directly ask him for some pointers.

It will help you.

 

[Murk]

Another expressive male.

OP you should compare notes with @Murkserious.

And when you both grow tired of the drama, refocus that excess emotions into something other then woman or multiple women.

Flowtheory wrote how he goes about refocusing it, not sure which thread but you should directly ask him for some pointers.

It will help you.

I’m actually settling with Sophie as she’s a good woman and focusing on gym (during lunch break) and work.

At least for 9-12 months

 

[Focal core]

Nope. You said she does it for you, why not?

LOL omg

 

[Spaz]

I’m actually settling with Sophie as she’s a good woman and focusing on gym (during lunch break) and work.

At least for 9-12 months

You should also focus that excess emotions towards long dormant artistic skills otherwise you'll direct it full force on women, they can't handle it all buddy, I think you know it.

Channel some of that emotions elsewhere as an outlet while at the same time benefiting from it, in the process hitting 2 birds with 1 stone.

 

[Desdinova]

From what I've experienced, men are NOT meant to fall deeply in love. You either need a woman for companionship/convenience, or you need her for sex. In your case, you have both.

You really need to make the decision of whether you want to just go out and fvck hot women, or you want a loyal companion by your side (and I'm not excluding the idea of having a mistress here). Girl B sounds like a piece of 5hit who should be just a fvck and toss. Instead, you're trying to turn this piece of 5hit into a loyal companion, which she will never be. Divorce? Kids taken away? Criminal record? What a piece of trash. Girl A is the best choice if you want a committed companion. Of you're done with having that, then you should just end it and eat the fact that you'll likely never have another loyal companion like that again.

 

[Mazer]

With all due respect and correct me if I am wrong but I’m going to assume the only reason you haven’t dropped girl A is because your gut is telling you something. You are afraid if you do drop girl A and Girl B dumps you shortly after, which she might due to her recent inconsistent behavior, you will then be scrambling because you fear being alone without either one. This is where you need work. (Fear of being alone). You also mentioned that you had to go “no contact” for girl B to do things for you. I never have to force women who are interested in me to do things for me. They just do. You might even be blinded by the sex. Dump Girl A but don’t go crying back to her when Girl B drops you. Let us know how it goes. Good luck.

 

[BeExcellent]

I’m with @Desdinova here 100%.

Once girl A is gone for good you’ll realize what a good one you had. Girl Bs are a dime a dozen.

But your bigger issue is you can’t be alone. If you could you’d have cut Girl A loose long ago for lack of attraction etc. OP won’t do that because Girl A is the back up security blanket.

That’s a crap way to treat someone, especially someone devoted to you. Poor girl.

If a woman did this you’d call A a cuck. Not nice.

This behavior is what screws up good women.

Be honest. Break it off with Girl A. You have wasted 10 years of her life. What an ass.

 

[jnMissouri]

so for me it was a hard lesson... you will compare a with b all the time

Isn't that normal though? That happens any time you have a new partner.

From what I've experienced, men are NOT meant to fall deeply in love. You either need a woman for companionship/convenience, or you need her for sex. In your case, you have both.

You really need to make the decision of whether you want to just go out and fvck hot women, or you want a loyal companion by your side (and I'm not excluding the idea of having a mistress here). Girl B sounds like a piece of 5hit who should be just a fvck and toss. Instead, you're trying to turn this piece of 5hit into a loyal companion, which she will never be. Divorce? Kids taken away? Criminal record? What a piece of trash. Girl A is the best choice if you want a committed companion. Of you're done with having that, then you should just end it and eat the fact that you'll likely never have another loyal companion like that again.

And that's what worries me, will I have a loyal companion like this again. But at the same time I don't think I love her anymore.

 

[jnMissouri]

Am I having a hard time letting go of A because of comfort, how good she is to me, the little things she does for me and whether I'll get that from B. But do those little things make a relationship or is it love that does and if love who do I really love A or B? B was only supposed to be a fling, then I got attached to her.

Girl A is the better gf on paper, a great companion. Does the little and big things, but do those make a relationship? I haven't had a chance to see this from B yet and she has even told me that. Girl B is hotter and makes me feel things I haven't in a long time. I also worry that I'll compare A and B all the time and have buyers remorse but that's normal especially after 10 years with someone.

Maybe I'm overthinking all of this, at the end of the day, it's hard to let go of 10 years of history and stability for the unknown. So I think being conflicted is normal, and after 10 years of history I am reasonably certain A would take me back so maybe there is not much risk here. This is a bit of fear of the unknown combined with the analytical pick of the better choice.

 

[jnMissouri]

Bump.

 

[Jager]

Bump.

I’ll be honest. I don’t see how any of this is a problem. I find myself asking the question “Why is this a problem? Why does this post exist?”

You should be focusing your energy on something else. How ‘bout your goals? Why not your aspirations, the things you’re striving to achieve with your life. If your biggest issue in life right now is picking between two girls, you need a bigger game in life.

No, instead you’ve got tunnel vision on these two women, and you’ve missed the point entirely. Why not keep them both? Why not have 4 or 5? Why not have a harem of top SMV women and focus on your kicking ass in your life?

This entire thread is an exercise in futility.

 

[jnMissouri]

I’ll be honest. I don’t see how any of this is a problem. I find myself asking the question “Why is this a problem? Why does this post exist?”

You should be focusing your energy on something else. How ‘bout your goals? Why not your aspirations, the things you’re striving to achieve with your life. If your biggest issue in life right now is picking between two girls, you need a bigger game in life.

No, instead you’ve got tunnel vision on these two women, and you’ve missed the point entirely. Why not keep them both? Why not have 4 or 5? Why not have a harem of top SMV women and focus on your kicking ass in your life?

This entire thread is an exercise in futility.

Dude I'm a millionaire damn near multi millionaire. The other life stuff is fine. There's more to life than that. And honestly it's exhausting doing this. Two gf's and other plates. I won't do this again.

 

[escaleraroyal]

I closed the window right after I read: "relationship with girl A for 10 years "

 

[jnMissouri]

I closed the window right after I read: "relationship with girl A for 10 years "

What is peoples hangup with that? Are long term relationships frowned upon here or something? Being with someone for a long time is usually a good thing. Albeit in this case I started looking because I got bored/comfortable in the relationship. I like the stability and companionship, but the sex/romance of it has long worn off.

Maybe going with girl B isn't a bad choice regardless because 1) I should have broken it off with A long ago anyways and 2) if girl B doesn't work out, I will find a girl C, as someone else noted I would do once the girl B newness/tingle wears off.

I'm still so conflicted. The easy, comfortable thing to do is stay with girl A and just be friends with girl B. It's hard to let go of what you know and have known to be working for you for 10 years for someone/something that is only 8 months old and you are unsure about her.

 

[zekko]

The beauty about plate spinning is that it doesn’t matter if they both leave. He can just find more to replace them.

That's no different than a "regular" relationship though. If someone leaves, they can be replaced.

 

[jnMissouri]

Remember that girl B will become girl A eventually and when the chemicals calm down there will be a new girl B.

Women operate solely on chemicals from her endocrine system to sustain desire. Men do to but we have a more creative functionality towards these things.
A man can have everything she needs but she still only want to be his roommate after she levels out. He will eventually be rationed sex. Not as an evilness. But because she’s not feeling it but still doesn’t want to bounce.

You probably had the most insightful comment here.

I considered this as well, that Girl B will eventually turn into Girl A over time as we get more comfortable and learn what we each like. And that eventually there'll be yet another NEW Girl B...

I'm also considering the fact that as comfortable as I am with Girl A, I should let her go regardless of whether I move forward with Girl B or not because that relationship has obviously gone stale for me otherwise I wouldn't be doing this...

So with that said, should I be hesitant to move forward with leaving my long time girlfriend of 10 years for this girl? We've been a couple for coming up on a year already...

I figure if we break up I'll just find another, maybe a little heartache depending on the reason of the breakup but either I'll find another or my ex might want to rekindle things, 10 years is a strong bond and she's comfortable with me, so I would think she'd get back together with me in the end.

 

[jnMissouri]

That's no different than a "regular" relationship though. If someone leaves, they can be replaced.

Exactly, although in my case I'd be starting over with yet another new person after Girl B and giving up 10 years of history with Girl A. But if I really still loved her as some have pointed out, I wouldn't be doing this and I should let her go so she can find someone while she is still young.

 

[Cremasta]

Girl A is better, but Girl B is the one you want.

Go with Girl B, and hope you don't regret it.