asking for advice about uninterested wife

[Tdawg]

A lot of people have different aspects as to what it takes to make a marriage work: trust, love, compromise, etc, but that's all bull****. There is only one thing you need in a marriage and that is RESPECT. If you command respect in your relationship, everything else will follow. If you have her respect, she will always want to be with you, always want sex with you, never talk down to you and always try and make you happy.

I can't tell you how many times I see friends, family members, forum members say the craziest **** about what their wives said or did and it always leaves me scratching my head like "wtf....how in the world did you let her get away with this"? it's truly mind boggling. I don't think there's many things more disrespectful in life than your wife flirting with another guy in your presence. I mean that's ****ing nuts, right?

So at some point in your marriage, either initially or gradually, you let her disrespect you. Once you let it happen once and don't nip it in the bud, the behavior is bound to repeat. As she disrespects you more and more, she starts to feels she is the one that has to lead the relationship because you can't protect yourself, much less her. She looks down on you rather than up to you. You lose.

The only way you can possibly repair this marriage is to never let her disrespect you again, starting today. If she does something remotely disrespectful, you need to call her on it, and tell her in no certain terms where the door is. This will go either of two ways, she will either follow you and stop her bull****, or you lose your wife BUT learn from your mistakes and have a better more fulfilling relationship next go around.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hmm... not going there yet. But I don't have a crystal ball to know what comes next.

Metalwater. After further thought i REALLY think you should go there. My thought is you build an alliance with the wife and become her lover. Be responsible and open amd honest with her. This will extract ALL of the power that your wife and her husband have stolen from you. Its always good to be in fighting shape. Enjoy life.

 

[metalwater]

A lot of people have different aspects as to what it takes to make a marriage work: trust, love, compromise, etc, but that's all bull****. There is only one thing you need in a marriage and that is RESPECT. If you command respect in your relationship, everything else will follow. If you have her respect, she will always want to be with you, always want sex with you, never talk down to you and always try and make you happy.

I can't tell you how many times I see friends, family members, forum members say the craziest **** about what their wives said or did and it always leaves me scratching my head like "wtf....how in the world did you let her get away with this"? it's truly mind boggling. I don't think there's many things more disrespectful in life than your wife flirting with another guy in your presence. I mean that's ****ing nuts, right?

So at some point in your marriage, either initially or gradually, you let her disrespect you. Once you let it happen once and don't nip it in the bud, the behavior is bound to repeat. As she disrespects you more and more, she starts to feels she is the one that has to lead the relationship because you can't protect yourself, much less her. She looks down on you rather than up to you. You lose.

The only way you can possibly repair this marriage is to never let her disrespect you again, starting today. If she does something remotely disrespectful, you need to call her on it, and tell her in no certain terms where the door is. This will go either of two ways, she will either follow you and stop her bull****, or you lose your wife BUT learn from your mistakes and have a better more fulfilling relationship next go around.

thank you. It is crystal clear to me. I have a lot to learn. I am pretty sure, after reading some of the red pill stuff that she is type good girl with high self esteem. Any advice on how to do what you suggest at the right time or right way... I still would like to fix... I am very heads down on understand/ follow that red pill plan.

 

[metalwater]

Metalwater. After further thought i REALLY think you should go there. My thought is you build an alliance with the wife and become her lover. Be responsible and open amd honest with her. This will extract ALL of the power that your wife and her husband have stolen from you. Its always good to be in fighting shape. Enjoy life.

I need to fix myself to the point that this advice makes sense to me. I feel it, but am still blocking it in my head. And then learning how to do it is a completely other thing. I so wish I had proof. But regardless I need to fix myself. This is the kind of stuff they make movies about. All the red pill books are stuff I did not know.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I need to fix myself to the point that this advice makes sense to me. I feel it, but am still blocking it in my head. And then learning how to do it is a completely other thing. I so wish I had proof. But regardless I need to fix myself. This is the kind of stuff they make movies about. All the red pill books are stuff I did not know.

**** both of them. You are the better man.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I need to fix myself to the point that this advice makes sense to me. I feel it, but am still blocking it in my head. And then learning how to do it is a completely other thing. I so wish I had proof. But regardless I need to fix myself. This is the kind of stuff they make movies about. All the red pill books are stuff I did not know.

Puszy will fix you and self love and respect.

 

[Spaz]

Getting a wife back fully is an interesting situation.
I’ve tried it. I did get the connotation when you used the word FULLY.

This is the thing about desire, it can’t be bargained with or for.

There’s a post on this that I should have posted already but am still working the wording out.

Here is the hurdle that is tough to get over the top of. She is designed to reduce the masculinity of the man she partners up with. It holds him in place long enough to bounce, if that’s what she wants to do or an offer she can’t refuse comes to light. Or just hold him in place till death does he part once her market value is flattened out.

Understanding solipsism is important here as she feels nothing for any damage she does in pursuit of her imperative. Her pursuit of chemicals, her endocrine system releases chemicals that very few can reign in. She wants to return to those chemicals that she felt when she was a teenager or in her early 20’s

What she doesn’t know yet is that she is destroying her life. But the state will ensure that your money takes care of her.

You must rise back above her. Your value must rise above the propensities of a little slvt. She is a near mindless creature, especially at this point.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know how this can be fixed. It may not be possible because she has reduced you as a man and it worked.
But don’t lament, 99% of the men here would fall into the same trap. No matter how tough they sound. And some are full of crap.

Your path must be up and out of your hell. And yes, you are in hell. Make no mistake about it. Some men have killed themselves over their wife going back to slvt land with zero remorse.

Until you realize she is a marginal creature at best. You will stay in hell. There is a cure that I am reactant to say here. There is a thing called competition anxiety but it is past this point so I will say it plainly. Go fvck the hell out of a dozen women right now.

Do everything that @highSpeed says and don’t say a word. Just do it.

Don’t discuss the whole situation with anyone outside this forum. Her girlfriends know and will sleep with you if any of them have been close to you.

There is a way, a near perfect 'hack' but it is brutal to many societies, I've often debated within myself if I should offer this solution to the forum.

It's highly dependent on whether one is naturally dominant or passive, even with dominance there's risks if one can't follow through and stumbles - it will then be followed by his undoing.

 

[Epic Days]

There is a way, a near perfect 'hack' but it is brutal to many societies, I've often debated within myself if I should offer this solution to the forum.

It's highly dependent on whether one is naturally dominant or passive, even with dominance there's risks if one can't follow through and stumbles - it will then be followed by his undoing.

Oh damn. Then the question becomes...is it worth it?
Some have enough trouble just trying to rid themselves of their old beliefs.
Could you imagine it getting out and the desperate cucks using it? LMAO

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Oh damn. Then the question becomes...is it worth it?
Some have enough trouble just trying to rid themselves of their old beliefs.
Could you imagine it getting out and the desperate cucks using it? LMAO

I still think itll help this man to fvck his affair partners wife.

 

[Spaz]

Could you imagine it getting out and the desperate cucks using it? LMAO

Hence the debate within myself and the conclusion of it, that it would be an unwise move to put forth such a technique.

It will be counter productive.

 

[Epic Days]

I still think itll help this man to fvck his affair partners wife.

You are not wrong. It would liberate his mind, believe it or not.

 

[ubercat]

Just like in the rest of life be very cautious about taking any extreme advice. if somebody is offering a magic solution to all your problems it's unlikely to be true

 

[Epic Days]

Just like in the rest of life be very cautious about taking any extreme advice. if somebody is offering a magic solution to all your problems it's unlikely to be true

I don’t think he should take any advice. Once a man has been reduced in a marriage, regaining desire in that woman is...unsolvable in normal context.

Restoring value of him, in her would require monumental effort and supreme skill.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don’t think he should take any advice. Once a man has been reduced in a marriage, regaining desire in that woman is...unsolvable in normal context.

Restoring value of him, in her would require monumental effort and supreme skill.

Him becoming the lover of the husbands wife would take the power back from the other husband and his own wife. It would reduce their sneaking around to child's play. Plus it would empower the other wife and snatch the husbands balls. Little did they think their spouses would do them like this.

 

[ubercat]

I agree. It's probably fresh fish for a dead cat. Bit hey OP if you want to try have a read of practical female psychology for the practical man. It's middle of the road redpill book. And keep up the great physical work you're doing. even if it doesn't turn out how you would like none of that would be wasted. some of the ltr guys like motu and Backbreaker also rate Athol Kay's books

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Looks like an interesting forum.

I have a wife of 15 years that has become uninterested in me. She still performs duties but clearly has lost most of the interest. And of course that is not a nice situation.

So many details, and I know it is not fun to read a long rambling post.

I would like to get her back (completely). We have kids also..

Her focus has moved to outside the house, and I have personally viewed body language between her and another married guy. She is living with us, but interest is outside.

If I can use the forum for advice.. first question is how can I determine if the situation is already to far gone to fix ? The next questions will be about how to do it. I have already been reading for weeks.. months.. ideas from internet and everything is so not consistent.. I had one forum ban me as a spammer maybe because i asked a vague question.

thanks

Boundaries.

Set them effective immediately.

Begin lifting NOW. Acquire gym membership. Acquire aesthetics. Clean up diet. Begin doing the grocery shopping. Read Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

A woman is not your purpose.

Live at your edge.

1. I am a very sexual being. A woman with low sex drive means #next

2. What 1 girl won't do, another 1 will.


You dun goofed by marrying. The sec a girl isn't not in the mood, LMR, low libido, I'm going out with the boys. The pushback is new girls are turning 18 19 20 21 every day.

I won't marry because I wont dare allocate current nor future earnings as well as sexual access to one woman. Its a power play and it doesn't work.


Op, be willing to walk away. If she is unable to fulfill your needs, let her go.

1st take a **** load of action.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I don’t think he should take any advice. Once a man has been reduced in a marriage, regaining desire in that woman is...unsolvable in normal context.

Restoring value of him, in her would require monumental effort and supreme skill.

Agreed but, the focus is Being, purpose, masculinity, etc. Women are not our purpose. Most are a commodity. Interchangeable at best. Amplified masculinity, handling his business, and living at his edge should be this Focal point. In retrospect, it should put her back in the feminine.

If executed correctly, it won't matter because hotter fitter younger will take notice. If she is not with the program, cut her loose or downgrade her to homemaker. Acquire side pieces.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You need to turn the tables and take back your power. Here is what I would do:

1. Take a sudden, sincere interest in the gym - get a membership and go religiously. Women start whipping themselves into shape before leaving , so if you do that, you create anxiety in her....because she transfers this behavior to you. This is proven by my experience. Anxiety is the root of desire, we desire what we are anxious about. Use this to lose weight and build muscle. More anxiety creation for her, while you build confidence.

2. Due to the gym, you will be spending less time at home. While away from home, shut your phone off. More anxiety creation, because now she can't say for sure you ARE at the gym. Maybe you are fcking someone else.

3. Be less needy at home, and less affectionate. More anxiety creation for her. Spend more time away from home...……."at work" "with friends" anything...……..hell go to the park and read a book. Just be out of her sight and let her imagination do the work for you.

The only shot you have, is to prove higher value and create anxiety.

Yea but his wife is on another guy who has a wife. Those affairs are like honeymoons. He rips the power from them by forming an alliance with the new wife and fvcking her. It brings to reality the shyttiness of the affair and takes the husbands balls.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yea but his wife is on another guy who has a wife. Those affairs are like honeymoons. He rips the power from them by forming an alliance with the new wife and fvcking her. It brings to reality the shyttiness of the affair and takes the husbands balls.

That power deflates his wife and her affair partners view of themselves
and switched it to the cheated husband and cheated wife. His wife is forced to see him in a sexual light and more powerful viewpoint vs her slimey affair partner.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Lots of fights, walking on egg shells, insults, threats...... everything that a woman would do to a weak guy. Probably my problem is that I have not been willing to walk away and it showes. As I write that I would almost go to tears.

Interesting conundrum with no 100% correct scenario, solution, or answer. After ruminating on this a while, this is what I would do:

1- Obviously the marriage has gone stale--as they ALL do and wifey wants some excitement. This is the bottom line and backdrop. I'm sure the sex has fallen off as has the spontaneity, romance, etc., etc. 99% of marriages go through this with probably 60% getting divorced, 30% painfully living through it because of kids, fear, co-dependency, and 10% successfully finding their way "somewhat" (never fully) back to a decent (never "good") situation.

2- You're become very docile and beta in her mind. What we refer to as "blue pill." This is repulsive to women, unless they give up or want an orbiter, then they’ll settle usually for a beta male provider, which I’m afraid you’ve become. Instinctively, they want "real men" which is why women date and stay with ass*holes, thugs, abusers, losers, etc.--they exude a form of masculinity and high testosterone the beta male does not. You cannot simply cannot fight DNA and tens of thousands of years of evolution. Women can't help it, their DNA screams "F*uck the alpha!!" It's not until much later, that reality sets in and now they’re a single mommy with 3 kids and a deadbeat long-gone dad, what we call "Alpha Widowed." And riding to the rescue? The beta male provider!!

3- This is BIG: You said you're in charge of investments, retirement accounts, etc. Start liquidating in non-traceable cash or in physical assets like gold bars, coins—something tangible. Seriously. She can’t lay claim to what's not there if/when she divorces you which she probably will eventually do. When it comes up later on, as it might, tell her you lost it. Nothing she can really do. Tell her you lost a ton of money betting on NFL games and you're really sorry. You’re getting help and you’ll quit. I know a guy who did this, the gold bars, fake betting story and everything, and it worked like a charm.

4- Fuc*king the other guy’s wife is a really bad idea on many levels. First, she has to go for it which is probably very low percentage. Then, when you fail, she'll tell her husband and your wife and all hell will break loose. She’ll accuse you of adultery, divorce you, and take half your s*hit including retirement, property, and your future earnings. It will get really bad for you in court when she tells the judge of your philandering actions. All for what? Revenge? BAD IDEA. You're better off looking at Seeking Arrangement and f*ucking a stupid college girl a few times for $300 a throw. Many will even do it for free, but another story.

5- Because your wife sees you as weak and beta, sneaking around isn't the way. SHOCK and AWE is. Seriously. If it were me, and I'm an admittedly very assertive and a sometimes very aggressive man, I would:

Go over to the guys house when his wife is there. Play Mr. Nice Guy and have him invite you in. Then, when you're sitting there on the couch or patio. I would ask him point blank why he's taken such an interest in your wife, cite some examples of your observations, and make sure his wife hears you. Get him back pedaling and put him on the defensive. Tell him what you’ve witnessed and that you don't like it. Don't debate or argue--JUST STATE. Got it? Then, stand up, get in his space (maybe 4 inches from his face), point your finder in his face and say (verbatim), "If I EVER, EVER, find out there is or was something going on between you and (wife) I'm going to chop your balls off and shove them down your f*ucking throat. Ok, pumpkin?" Say goodbye to his wife and calmly walk out of the house. I actually did something like this once and it worked 100% perfect and according to plan, only I ended up beating up the guy in his own house. Then calmly left.

5- When wife confronts you all upset, pretend it doesn't bother you and just tell her, "I took care of it."

Two highly probable outcomes:

1- She’ll ask for a divorce (65%). So what. The marriage was in a tail spin anyway. But now you've hidden assets so she can't as*s-rape you in court quite as bad. Do the best you can to protect yourself and get on with your life on YOUR TERMS now. I'm over 40 and trust me, there are A LOT of women in their 20's, 30's and hot ones in their 40's that are looking for fun, sex, and relationships. Live a little without the oppression for once.

2- She'll be very mad, but inside will actually be strangely impressed and re-attracted based on your think big and kick ass new attitude (35%). It will take time, but she may actually come to respect you more---IF you don't cave and go all beta-retard again. Get it? She'll think you challenged another man and "protected" her (remember the DNA thing?) and women instinctively like it, if you act like a MAN about it and not a bi*tch (cry, whine, complain--only). Tacitly show her that you're not afraid to throw hands with another man who's trying to break up your family, marriage, and take what you've got. Only a chump would watch another man do this.

This is precisely what I would do. The other option is to continue to let her drag you around and make you her cuck, but I fear she already has. Take back your masculinity and power and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. We only have one life to live, f*uck man, don't base your success as a man on the acceptance and approval of one woman. Life is WAY too short.

Good luck.

~Dash~