@mrgoodstuff
@GrowingPains
Thought I'd answer you guys question in the same post. I literally don't care how long this journal goes anymore. I think there's some good ass info in here and you can see my progression.
But anyways. My goal is to be a Red Pilled Don Juan. I love Dr. Nerdlove's stuff but I think the fact that he doesn't believe in TRP is just wrong. You gotta lift, you can't let these women use you, you gotta not validate women. I find TRP has so much truth to it.
The Red Pill is about seeing the true world without pulling the wool over your eyes, right? Well I'll be honest with how I really feel and how I've fvcked myself over. Sorry if this sounds whiny but I'm writing how I feel with no filter.
I've been fvcking consistently like you said,
@mrgoodstuff . I've had sex at least once a week for a while now. But it's not helping with how I feel about HB Candice and others. When I see her flirting with other dudes and I know she's sucking them off and fvcking them, it kills me on the inside. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough. And the fact that she's getting all the attention from me and then going off and fvcking my friend KILLS ME. I know I can't win them all. But DAMN.
It makes me feel like less of a man when these women hang out with me but give all their sexual attention to others. It just... doesn't feel quite right. Like I'm being emasculated. I just don't feel MANLY when I'm hanging with a girl and I know she's fvcking someone else. Like I'm their gay best friend or something. ESPECIALLY with HB Candice. It FEELS BAD, MAN. It especially especially hurts cause she's fvcking my thugmaxxxed friend. If I ever saw them hooking up I'd feel terrible. I know this is essentially oneitis but I'm fvcking other people too and it doesn't seem to help emotionally at least. I just want someone I have something in common and with, MUTUALLY. She might as well say "Hey you're not good enough but I'll **** your friend and rub it in your face!" I'm fvcking other girls. But I wanna fvck a girl that I have a lot in common with and we both really like each other.
But like ALL my friends are graduating this semester. Let's talk summer. Im not exaggerating when I say I'll have NO friends if I don't hang out with some of these girls. My original plan was to hang with the girls by going bar hopping and then fvck people through Cold Approach out there. But is that feasible?
So I don't know what to do, I've backed myself into a corner. I know I've been on this for days but this is a really big issue.
I need to double check but I believe TRP(which I'm essentially living my life by at this point) advocates against female friends.
And the crazy part is that I usually have fun hanging out with these females. But the reason I feel that slight unease is these feelings I wrote down. These feelings are beneath the surface but they're still there.
Lmao at the start of this journal I wanted to quit my job cause of this. A member advised that I stay to kill that romantic notion in my head. I did, and I'm fvcking other people but I still feel kinda bad.
I know I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but friends are extremely important in college. I'm not sure if I can make new ones like the super close friends I have now that are graduating, y'know?
And
@GrowingPains to answer your question, I don't freaking know. I'm stuck right in the middle. On one hand they're cool and I need friends. But on the other hand deep down I wanna fvck(especially with HB Candice honestly, if I'm just being real with no posturing.) And TRP says no female friends.
But for instance, this summer. I need a Lay Report 5. Like I said, I'm pretty much just cool with my band. Do I hang out with the females and go to bars then meet other females to fvck? Honestly if I don't, I'm gonna probably be at the house.
So idk what the fvck to do about this anymore. I think Red Pill takes precedence but I just don't wanna be alone.
Daily Red Pill: Women don't love unconditionally. They love you for your assets and things