Do women actually like good men or are my observations legitimate?

[sangheilios]

I used to believe things like "nice guys finish last" were actually myths and that women legitimately wanted good men. I've been making observations for a while now, listening to stories I hear through my social circles and what have you.

As negative as it sounds, I am legitimately starting to believe that these young women, 20 somethings, that aren't already locked into a serious relationship by 25 legitimately despise good men. I know dozens of guys, all of them just all around decent men that are normal and productive members of society and very few of them ever date. I've heard stories where a land whale will reject a man who is overweight because he is "gross" and act entitled to a fit guy. Now, I could understand how a fit girl who takes care of herself would expect a man to be similar to her, but I just don't grasp how these women have become so delusional.

Another trend I've noticed, which I find alarming, is women that are well past 21 finding legitimately good men as "boring" and time after time going for the bad boys, despite the fact the good men were as attractive or even more lol. They cling to the bad boy like he is some sort of god and within a few months they get hurt, just to repeat the cycle again with some other guy who operates on a similar level.

A few guys that I know, one is actually a close friend, that do actually date and have sex regularly and players whose game is so apparent to everyone.....yet these women eat it up. My friend is in a long term relationship and he has a psycho ***** who used to be just a FWB now do everything in her power to try to wife up with him. It's obvious she is nothing more than just a source of sex for him but yet time after time she chases him like a fat kid does cake.

Now, when I say good men I don't mean doormats or fake "nice guys", just legitimate normal and decent likable guys.

I've had so many lose interest in me because of stupid ****. I've approached women who were super excited that I had approached them, we get talking and then after a while I have to take a conversational break and they immediately lose interest, as if only the most elite of Hollywood actors would be enough.

 

[LiveYourDream]

SMV means shlt, when your vibe is off. Trust me on this one.

^^^ As guru stated, in your other thread.

 

[backseatjuan]

Women are attracted to masculinity, good and nice is not masculine.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I used to believe things like "nice guys finish last" were actually myths and that women legitimately wanted good men. I've been making observations for a while now, listening to stories I hear through my social circles and what have you.

As negative as it sounds, I am legitimately starting to believe that these young women, 20 somethings, that aren't already locked into a serious relationship by 25 legitimately despise good men. I know dozens of guys, all of them just all around decent men that are normal and productive members of society and very few of them ever date. I've heard stories where a land whale will reject a man who is overweight because he is "gross" and act entitled to a fit guy. Now, I could understand how a fit girl who takes care of herself would expect a man to be similar to her, but I just don't grasp how these women have become so delusional.

Another trend I've noticed, which I find alarming, is women that are well past 21 finding legitimately good men as "boring" and time after time going for the bad boys, despite the fact the good men were as attractive or even more lol. They cling to the bad boy like he is some sort of god and within a few months they get hurt, just to repeat the cycle again with some other guy who operates on a similar level.

A few guys that I know, one is actually a close friend, that do actually date and have sex regularly and players whose game is so apparent to everyone.....yet these women eat it up. My friend is in a long term relationship and he has a psycho ***** who used to be just a FWB now do everything in her power to try to wife up with him. It's obvious she is nothing more than just a source of sex for him but yet time after time she chases him like a fat kid does cake.

Now, when I say good men I don't mean doormats or fake "nice guys", just legitimate normal and decent likable guys.

I've had so many lose interest in me because of stupid ****. I've approached women who were super excited that I had approached them, we get talking and then after a while I have to take a conversational break and they immediately lose interest, as if only the most elite of Hollywood actors would be enough.

What's the main part of how they csrry themselves and how they treat her?

 

[Spaz]

Women are attracted to masculinity, good and nice is not masculine.

And don't forget that nice guys has no backbone - which makes them untrustworthy and most definitely puts anyone in their vicinity in danger.

 

[zekko]

I see everyone here is already twisting "good men" into meaning the PUA stereotypical spineless "nice guy".

Where I live, most people tend to pair off.
There are some girls who will always like the bad boy type, but these women are trash.
OP, if you're having trouble getting women attracted to you, there are other issues involved. Maybe overeager, boring, something. You would know better than I.

 

[Robert28]

Simple answer is, yes, most women today do love bums. They see it as exciting, but everyone else is laughing behind their back how stupid they are and make fun of their continuous dysfunctional relationships. Why do you think the divorce rate is the highest it’s ever been in this country?

 

[sangheilios]

Simple answer is, yes, most women today do love bums. They see it as exciting, but everyone else is laughing behind their back how stupid they are and make fun of their continuous dysfunctional relationships. Why do you think the divorce rate is the highest it’s ever been in this country?

The whole point is that this type of dysfunctional mindset is becoming the norm, if it isn't already. I remember a couple years ago where a single mother was complaining about her situation. Anyway, she didn't grasp that a man who is sober, educated and stable would be a good choice for a potential partner. She literally did not understand how those would be considered positive qualities.

I think it's a love and need for drama, trying to a "fix" a bad boy and all that.....though I'm sure there is more to it.

 

[sangheilios]

What's the main part of how they csrry themselves and how they treat her?

From my observations, the men seem to provide these *****s just enough to keep them around but not enough to imply they are looking for more, not sure if that makes sense. I know 2 guys, one of which is the friend I mentioned in the OP, who are already in relationships and yet have other women do everything they can do be with them while also being aware of the fact these guys aren't single. It is literally to the point where they are trying to be the replacement for the other woman. These guys are good looking but nothing to call for this type of behavior from these women. Men that are single and not currently having sex are invisible, men that are actively dating and having sex with other women are the ones who are desired. There is no middle ground with women who possess this mindset.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

From my observations, the men seem to provide these *****s just enough to keep them around but not enough to imply they are looking for more, not sure if that makes sense. I know 2 guys, one of which is the friend I mentioned in the OP, who are already in relationships and yet have other women do everything they can do be with them while also being aware of the fact these guys aren't single. It is literally to the point where they are trying to be the replacement for the other woman. These guys are good looking but nothing to call for this type of behavior from these women. Men that are single and not currently having sex are invisible, men that are actively dating and having sex with other women are the ones who are desired. There is no middle ground with women who possess this mindset.

Alot of women possess this mindset whether they realize it or not. Having at least one woman changes the game. They will compete, its what they do.

As you observed a man has to be having sex or hes invisible. Paid for sex helps a littlebut not fully because a man should be able to trigger desire.

 

[marmel75]

OP, When you can stop being angry and bitter about your lack of success with women you will see the truth.

Women like men who are strong, who lead and who aren't afraid to ruffle feathers when they need to. Men who demand respect or walk away from those who don't give it to them. Men who put themselves first and who are comfortable in their own skin. Men who have drive and ambition and eant to make something of themselves. Men who have passions. They like good guys with these attributes MORE than @ssholes with these attributes, there just happen to be fewer good guys than @ssholes out there. Good guys are the male version of the unicorn...when a woman finds one she will never let them go(if she can help it).

The excuses guys come up with are because its easier to make these excuses than to work on yourself and these attributes.

And for the guys who claim "I am all these things but it still isn't working", its not YOUR opinion of whether you have these attributes that matter its the woman's opinion. Regardless of what YOU think you are outwardly portraying, THEY think you aren't. Your opinion doesn't count in this. You DO NOT express these traits to other people which is why they don't think you have them.

 

[zekko]

They like good guys with these attributes MORE than @ssholes with these attributes, there just happen to be fewer good guys than @ssholes out there.

Exactly. I am so frigging sick of reading on this forum that women can't be attracted to good guys. This is just another form of whining:
"I'm a good guy but the world isn't fair and women only like jerks so that's why I can't attract them". What a load of garbage. Figure out what your real problem is before you start crying about the world being against you.

I wonder how many of the guys who post here turned themselves into @ssholes, just so they could get laid? I've got news for you, a d!ckhead is a d!ckhead, and I'm never going to admire a d!ckhead.

I'm sure some will say "Well, I started to act like an @sshole, and women were more attracted to me". Most likely what really happened is you got off your @ss and took a little bold action, started to go after what you really wanted, showed a little self esteem, and had the b@lls to show your sexual and masculine side for a change. Some girls do like abusive men (and I'm not talking about being dominant in the bedroom), but those women are damaged and should generally be avoided.

 

[Sunnypoo]

I constantly see these threads where too many people are behaving a certain way only to attract the wrong class of women. If you want to attract a high class woman be high class. Strong and confident, well groomed, dress like a gentleman and carry yourself well. Behave like confident gentleman and you will end up with a higher class lady. Don't just work on being a certain way, own the way you want to be. Aim higher and stay out of the ****ING bars when looking for class.

 

[allancc3]

Sanghelios is a poster who cannot be helped by a forum. He suffers from delusional negativity: depression. Only a trained clinician can help him if he is brave enough to seek out this help. He's the exact opposite of nicksaiz who suffers from delusional positivity, basically a person who mindfvcks himself with goofy woo woo self help fluff to the point where he is out of touch with reality.

The internet is convenient because you can write whatever bullsh1t you want and you never have to look anyone in the eye or sit face to face with someone.

Guys like nicksaiz, sanghelios and bigdave are beyond the help of internet forums. They post exactly the same two or three posts over and over again regardless of any feedback they receive. It just becomes a waste of everyone's time.

I guarantee you this. Sanghelios will post the exact same whiny negative posts as long as he's on this forum. He will never change. It sucks for him and ultimately, bad for the forum also, as an inordinate percentage of the bandwidth is sucked up by guys who are not really serious about change but are instead just looking for some tiny audience on the internet for their bullsh1t.

 

[soulforge]

The whole point is that this type of dysfunctional mindset is becoming the norm, if it isn't already. I remember a couple years ago where a single mother was complaining about her situation. Anyway, she didn't grasp that a man who is sober, educated and stable would be a good choice for a potential partner. She literally did not understand how those would be considered positive qualities.

I think it's a love and need for drama, trying to a "fix" a bad boy and all that.....though I'm sure there is more to it.

I keep coming back to this and created threads about.

The vast majority of woman who I have met, claimed the ex was a narcassist, a drinker, a complete azzhole, he never treated me well.

Yet these woman dedicated 10 years of there lives to him..

The GOOD guy is lucky to get two years out of these hoes.

I don't consider myself the nice guy.. I can be quite tough with BS i'm never afraid to voice my opinion when need be.

And I won't bend over backwards for woman.. But I do consider myself a good guy.. I don't feel the need to treat woman like shyte.

However I really don't think this approach has served me well.

Maybe its just the type of woman we have had dealings with so far.

 

[Robert28]

I keep coming back to this and created threads about.

The vast majority of woman who I have met, claimed the ex was a narcassist, a drinker, a complete azzhole, he never treated me well.

Yet these woman dedicated 10 years of there lives to him..

The GOOD guy is lucky to get two years out of these hoes.

I don't consider myself the nice guy.. I can be quite tough with BS i'm never afraid to voice my opinion when need be.

And I won't bend over backwards for woman.. But I do consider myself a good guy.. I don't feel the need to treat woman like shyte.

However I really don't think this approach has served me well.

Maybe its just the type of woman we have had dealings with so far.

Dude your first paragraph is so true! I’ve met countless women just like that, that all say the same thing! That tells me by random sample size that it ain’t no accident these women purposely go for these types of men.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dude your first paragraph is so true! I’ve met countless women just like that, that all say the same thing! That tells me by random sample size that it ain’t no accident these women purposely go for these types of men.

The selfish narcissist is in his power and bleeds out no masculinity supplicating to women. They are attracted to masculinity and power.

 

[Robert28]

The selfish narcissist is in his power and bleeds out no masculinity supplicating to women. They are attracted to masculinity and power.

What makes them project masculinity or someoneone who’s not a narcissist? You can be a decent guy and still be plenty masculine.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What makes them project masculinity or someoneone who’s not a narcissist? You can be a decent guy and still be plenty masculine.

You can be a good guy and very masculine. However the women will ask you to do some things for them which the narcissist will never do in a million years. And over time the good guy doing this extra looks "weaker" in her eyes. They figure the narcissist realize he have it like that where he doesnt NEED to do the extra. So i dont particularly like it either. But its what they are doing. Making sure you get sex early and often is a winning strategy. If you help her at times makes sure she helps you too. Also say no to her a good chunk of the times.

I think if you fvck them really good and selfish enough to not get off purpose the "good" guy can win. You have to understand the type of female your dealing with and how she treats the different guys.

 

[Robert28]

You can be a good guy and very masculine. However the women will ask you to do some things for them which the narcissist will never do in a million years. And over time the good guy doing this extra looks "weaker" in her eyes. They figure the narcissist realize he have it like that where he doesnt NEED to do the extra. So i dont particularly like it either. But its what they are doing. Making sure you get sex early and often is a winning strategy. If you help her at times makes sure she helps you too. Also say no to her a good chunk of the times.

I think if you fvck them really good and selfish enough to not get off purpose the "good" guy can win. You have to understand the type of female your dealing with and how she treats the different guys.

Everything you said is true but it also proves how much women don’t understand men whatsoever, even though they have these so called “screening processes”. They might think they’re picking the higher value guy but what they’re realky picking is the lower value guy that has less to offer in the long run. That’s why when they hit that wall hard they start seeking out that nicer guy who turned out to be pretty alpha because he has choices now and he’s not choosing her. It’s like a cycle.