Making the most out of my time

[LiveYourDream]

There is lots to say, first please clarify...


Are you currently dating local women as well??

Were your other LTR’s also LDR’s or did they occur entirely in person?
How did you meet them?
Who broke it off?
Why?

Have you already bought a ticket for the Russian to fly over?
How soon is she due to arrive?
If not when do you plan for her to be here?

What do you plan for her life to look like here once she arrives?
You work away from home 40 hours a week?

What will she be doing??

You intend to fully financially support her?
Forever or?

Will she study or work in the States?
Is there a waiting period for that?
How long?

No doubt you will be extra horny with her in your house/bed! If she seriously is waiting for marriage, how quickly do you intend to marry her?

Will you also see other women on the side? Have sex on the side? Are you right now?
When was last time you had sex?

Are you serious about potentially moving there if you found work? Or is that just what you tell her to keep her happy?

How long do you see yourself with her for?

 

[Plinco]

There is lots to say, first please clarify...


Are you currently dating local women as well??

No.

Were your other LTR’s also LDR’s or did they occur entirely in person?

No, they were all in person.

How did you meet them?

All three in person. Each started as a stranger and I started the conversation. The first I met at university, the second at my workplace, and third at the mall.

Who broke it off?
Why?

All three were mutual. The first one started out compatible, but changed and she became unbearable and she complained that I was too controlling; we ended with some arguments and I gave her an altimatium. The second one was almost a repeat of the first, except I later found out that she was cheating on me; I found out after we broke up. The third started off really well, but we drifted apart and ended in a pretty heated argument; she later claimed that her father didn't like me so she couldn't see me again (total b.s.), so it just ended.

Have you already bought a ticket for the Russian to fly over?

No

How soon is she due to arrive?

Sometime between mid-November and December.

If not when do you plan for her to be here?

What do you plan for her life to look like here once she arrives?

I am going to try to keep her busy when I am working, and hang out with her when I get off of work. I am not going to have any time to myself.

You work away from home 40 hours a week?

Yes, I work around 50 hour per week.

What will she be doing??

Being bored when I am not home, because she has no contacts here. I have some Russian female acquaintances who I plan on introducing to her to make her feel more comfortable here.

You intend to fully financially support her?
Forever or?

Yes. I have thought about her getting a job here, but I don't know how that's going to work out exactly. She's a smart lady who can figure things out. I have to be very careful of her until she understands the culture here.

Will she study or work in the States?
Is there a waiting period for that?
How long?

To get her medical license is gong to be a pain. It will probably take two years and some college classes before she tries to get her medical license here.

No doubt you will be extra horny with her in your house/bed! If she seriously is waiting for marriage, how quickly do you intend to marry her?

I don't know for sure. If we are as compatible as I think, probably a month. I'm pretty good at controlling myself, but you are right, it's not easy. I have a very strong sex drive, it has not gone down at all and I am in my mid-30's.

Will you also see other women on the side? Have sex on the side? Are you right now?

I have not, but I thought about it. Right now there are some good looking girls that I have talked to and I thought about getting in their pants. They are all between 18 to 21. I have a thing for young women.

When was last time you had sex?

Too long! October 2017. I had to dig into my memory for that haha:/

Are you serious about potentially moving there if you found work? Or is that just what you tell her to keep her happy?

Yes, I would move there, even if without her. I love the culture there, and I feel happier in that environment but the economy is terrible and I think there will be less political stability there in the future. If I could work remotely I would seriously consider living there, provided the political system stayed relatively stable.

How long do you see yourself with her for?

As long as both of us live.

 

[LiveYourDream]

There is your fantasy and then there is reality.

Describe your fantasy of how it will play out with her...

Describe how you think it will actually play out with her in reality...

 

[Plinco]

There is your fantasy and then there is reality.

Describe your fantasy of how it will play out with her...

Describe how you think it will actually play out with her in reality...

In the perfect world she would be this happy, intelligent, submissive women who happily takes care of three children while I make six figures and try to save the world with my self-help program I created.

In reality, it will be very tough and will take longer than I expect to make that six figure salary, and I think people are not going to listen to me with my help program until I get an established presence. She will get old, tired, spoiled, and grouchy, and will turn into a pain in the arse.

I think I will achieve my goals, but it will take longer than I expect, and she will be supportive of me as long as it is a fun ride and she is comfortable.

As far as sex goes, I think she does not have the sex drive that I do. She will have sex with me plenty at first because she wants me that badly, and she will do it to keep my happy. At some point, this will wear off and despite her being 11.5 years younger, my sex drive will be higher than hers and she will be less willing.

I like talking about myself, and I like that you are paying attention to me, but at some point I would like to get back to talking about how I can be a popular guy at school)

 

[LiveYourDream]

how I can be a popular guy at school)

Why is this your focus?
What do you think you will gain that you don't already have?
Why do you think you didn't live that experience when you were actually younger and in college?
Why not just hang out at a local college bar?
Why do you feel the need/desire to pretend you are actually a college student?

 

[Plinco]

Okay, I'm going to reply with something that I already written out. I'm going to take some of it out, but since you don't have my identity I'm not too worried about it. Some of this I use my own language, that if you want me to I will explain in more detail.

Format for a goal:

1. Define exactly what it is, contemplate it until the thoughts concerning the goal become complete sentences
2. Define exactly the conditions in which the goal has been achieved. In other words, have a specific image, or benchmark that tells you that you have completed the goal. This helps define the goal and allows measurements for success.
3. Define the reason(s) for the goal
4. In larger goals, it is often a question of who you want to be and not values to receive from others
5. Methodology, starting from the result and worked to the present moment. Summarize and make bullets if needed. This serves as the basis of the action plan.

Stimulation that provides respect based on strength of character, that provides high status and young women (18-21). Character is expressed by youthful and athletic health and being one’s own authority (while avoiding the physical authority of others).



Defining of terms:



High status hierarchy: being able elicit significant impulses in semi-conscious individuals.

Cool: 1.) Acting in one’s own self-interest without adversely affecting others. 2.) Being relatively high on the status hierarchy according to values that are conditioned in accordance to pop-culture.



Defining the Goal:

• Having the health of youth (~20)
• Cardio
• HGH
• Testosterone
• Have athletic health, with all the attributes.
• Surround yourself with people who can stimulate the high sexual market value, high testosterone, and adventurous environment.
• Be of the high testosterone, high sexual market value, adventurous, high status mindset.

I know that I have achieved the goal when:

• When I feel that I no longer must compensate for not being socially unsuccessful decades ago. When the anger of the past goes away
• I can express my sense of humor.
• When I am invited to social gatherings by high status 18-24-year olds.
• When I am surrounded by popular kids that look to me as if I have high market value with the young ladies, that also go to me because of my physical and social attributes.

The reasons for this goal:

• To not be subject to the animal hierarchy urges.
• Compensation for lack of assertiveness as a result of the expectation of low social value within the context of youth. To gain respect within the context of sexual market value of the young tribal setting.

1. Have fun while improving my surroundings.
2. To experience lower anxiety.
3. To experience high testosterone and HGH levels.
4. To improve on my ability to influence the population at large to become more independent and disciplined as defined in my book and notes that I have taken since.

Action plans:

• Get in good physical shape (young athlete).
• Participate in athletic events of people between 18-21.
• Hang around actively around 18-21 (tactically).

• Get in good physical shape (young athlete).
• Participate in athletic events of people between 18-21.
• • Surround yourself by popular kids that look to me as if I have high market value with the young ladies, that also go to me because of my physical and social attributes.
• Hang around actively around 18-21 (tactically).
• 
  This has to be done within a certain time frames. In between work.
  
  
  
  
  Identify the problem:
  
  • Not developing your consciousness to withstand animal urges.
  • Not adapting to the within the context of the animal self.
  • Frustration impulse
  • Sexual desire
  • Stress
  • Shame
  • Stimulation response
  • Not adapting the ‘social dominance hierarchy’ to own values
  • Admiration at the top of ‘social dominance hierarchy’
  • Compensating for sexual gratification as a result of ‘deprivation’
  • This was not possible in the past due to the deep-rooted belief in childhood that you were inadequate and thus subservient to the dominance hierarchy.
  • Fixing this in a social sanctioned way was possible until around the age of 26-27. Because people expect you to go through ‘maturity stages’
• 
  
  An attribute of this problem causes you to be subject to the animal hierarchy urges.
  
  
  
  Rejection=shame
  Acceptance=pride

These are my notes, now I will answer your questions separately:

Why is this your focus?

1.) To compensate for my failures in my youth and fill myself up with pride.
2.) To gain more confidence that I can change the minds of people.
3.) Girls look at lot better and it's more motivation.
4.) It's fun.

What do you think you will gain that you don't already have?

A certain type of confidence in my core self.

Why do you think you didn't live that experience when you were actually younger and in college?

I lived an hour away and I worked full time. I also did not feel like I was good enough or deserved that kind of interaction, even though I wanted it badly, and still do.

Why not just hang out at a local college bar?

It's pretty hard to get to know people there when you are the odd one out. I would rather play some sports where it is more interactive.

Why do you feel the need/desire to pretend you are actually a college student?

I don't have to pretend. A lot of these opportunities are not open unless you are a student.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I know that I have achieved the goal when: I feel that I no longer must compensate for not being socially unsuccessful decades ago.

Please share more detail and explanation about the history and feelings behind the bolded above.

I know that I have achieved the goal when: the anger of the past goes away

Please share more detail and explanation about the history and feelings behind the bolded above. Describe the anger and/or even rage please. And any other feelings with it??

Rejection=shame
Acceptance=pride

I don't live for other people.

Consider these... Do they match???

I know that I have achieved the goal when:

• When I am invited to social gatherings by high status 18-24-year olds.
• When I am surrounded by popular kids that look to me as if I have high market value with the young ladies, that also go to me because of my physical and social attributes.

I don't live for other people.

Consider these... Do they match???

I don't live for other people.

Be radically honest with yourself. Deeply consider... Is that ^^ actually true??? What do your actions say???

 

[GrowingPains]

Get my youth out of my system before the end of this year.

"The worst thing that can happen to a man is he becomes civilized"

- David Goggins

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing."

- From the movie Tag

Don't interpret these things to mean 'never settle down' or 'always be a player' or whatever. But consider them with a less extreme lens.

I don't think it is youth that you need to get out of your system. It is a desire to be validated by others - which is immature. So I'm curious what you'll answer too @LiveYourDream 's last post.

And as far as this potential wife... Read more on this site. Specifically on letting the woman push for exclusivity. You are wanting to 'get the youth out' so you can attempt to marry a girl whom you barely know and, oddly, painted a failure of a future with.

 

[LiveYourDream]

No doubt you will be extra horny with her in your house/bed! If she seriously is waiting for marriage, how quickly do you intend to marry her?

I don't know for sure. If we are as compatible as I think, probably a month. I'm pretty good at controlling myself, but you are right, it's not easy. I have a very strong sex drive, it has not gone down at all and I am in my mid-30's.

Since you started this thread I wondered whether you were just a long historied troll here (on/off since 2008) that was resurfacing once again. The jury is undecided. I wanted to be fair/kind so I also considered that you might actually be genuine and just have a lot more beneath the surface that needs to be addressed. Thus the barage of questions from me, to learn more.

The very idea that you would be willing marry this girl, just a month after she arrives in the States, contradicts everything taught on SoSuave, IMHO. The idea of a 19 year old virgin becoming your wife, to your 35 years, may sound ideal. Be centered in reality. It is still crucial to look after your own best intrests along the way!

Being willing to marry her, after a month here, just so you can have sex with her? That is a choice/consideration made by a man who is NOT thinking straight. Don't be that man! The fact that you would even consider it a possibility, that alone conveys to me that you are way out of balance. I understand desperate peole do desperate things. Don't be one! Be better than that!!! Get yourself straightened out. Make that your focus now, your number one priority. Get yourself rock solid. You will be glad you did.

 

[Plinco]

I know that I have achieved the goal when: I feel that I no longer must compensate for not being socially unsuccessful decades ago.
Please share more detail and explanation about the history and feelings behind the bolded above.

Because I have a desire to be influential, as far back as I could remember. As a little kid I remember being a lot smarter, but also thinking differently and even as a little kid I thought my "place" was to be an authority figure. At the age of 19, I began reading heavily into the philosophy of of Objectivism, including Ayn Rand's non-fiction books and Leonard Peikoff's books and audio lectures. I also picked up on Julian Jayne's theory on his Bicameral Mind theory. Since then I promoted the principle of individual authority over external authority as a corollary of the principle of acting in one's own self-interest. I noticed that people acted out by other's authority impulsively and I felt both superior and the calling to teach people the principle of self-authority.

So in short, I always believed deep down that my place was sort of "above" everyone else. I had a very difficult time in relating to other people. I was physically active and was loaded with hormones and wanted to party and fvck about half the girls in my classes in high school and university. No matter what I did, I was told that I came off as "too aggressive" "crazy" "weird" "rude" "self-centered" or at least I was told. To make things worse, I had a difficult time understanding things that other people understood about social norms readily; to this day, I don't understand politeness for example, I know how to be polite, but it feels like I am lying to people when I do it. I also don't read facial expressions very well, which I have gotten better at over time.

My desires of my youth have not gone away. I still lust after the same girls I did when I was a teenager and early 20's, and still want party with a lack of maturity. The problem is, is that people have these expectations of people in age groups. From as best as I can tell, the reason for the expectations are that people attribute certain values to age groups and that by disregarding those expectations that it diminishes the values of them. I know I attribute certain values to youth, so I am just as guilty as other people in their expectations on principle.

I know that I have achieved the goal when: the anger of the past goes away
Please share more detail and explanation about the history and feelings behind the bolded above. Describe the anger and/or even rage please. And any other feelings with it??

Any time I see younger people having a good time, it reminds me of what I am missing or have missed by in large. I feel like I deserve to have a good time with young women and party with a lack of maturity too.

Rejection=shame
Acceptance=pride

I don't live for other people.

Consider these... Do they match???

Yes. I want values from other people by exchange of my values. I acquire values by my own volition. And also let me be more specific. Rejection by older people doesn't mean anything to me, as long as that person has nothing to offer me. If the person had something to offer me, then it's more of a hassle to get what I want from someone else. For younger people it's different; because I need certain values from them and I don't have a lot of time left to get them. Also it reminds me of my past. So the rejection is a reminder of my failures when I was younger, which I think is wrong on the part of those people and I deserved to be treated better, despite not conforming to the b.s. pop-culture.

I know that I have achieved the goal when:

• When I am invited to social gatherings by high status 18-24-year olds.
• When I am surrounded by popular kids that look to me as if I have high market value with the young ladies, that also go to me because of my physical and social attributes.

I don't live for other people.

Consider these... Do they match???

Yes. Because I would achieve these values by my own productivity.

Be radically honest with yourself. Deeply consider... Is that ^^ actually true??? What do your actions say???

Yes. 100%
I don't need the validation of any one person per say. If anything, my disregard of social norms I would think would be evidence of me not living for other people.

 

[Plinco]

"The worst thing that can happen to a man is he becomes civilized"

- David Goggins

Quotes are cute but they should not substitute for your own thinking process. Also, that thought is meaningless without context. Consider the following two perspectives:

"Being 'civilized' is bad because it domesticates man and turns him into a slave."
"Being 'civilized' is good because it frees man from men."

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing."

- From the movie Tag

Age is whatever you think it is in your own context. Of course the medial field has not defined aging as a disease yet so our bodies break down over time.

I don't think it is youth that you need to get out of your system. It is a desire to be validated by others...

No. I want young pvssy and friends between 18-21ish on my own terms.

And as far as this potential wife... Read more on this site. Specifically on letting the woman push for exclusivity. You are wanting to 'get the youth out' so you can attempt to marry a girl whom you barely know and, oddly, painted a failure of a future with.

I'm realistic when it comes to women. Even 'happy' marriages are work. And for the record, I doubt you know anything significantly more than I do. I knew about letting women push for exclusivity a long time ago.

 

[Plinco]

Since you started this thread I wondered whether you were just a long historied troll here (on/off since 2008) that was resurfacing once again. The jury is undecided. I wanted to be fair/kind so I also considered that you might actually be genuine and just have a lot more beneath the surface that needs to be addressed. Thus the barage of questions from me, to learn more.

hahahaha! I promise you that I'm not a troll) I appreciate you taking the time to learn more about me.

The very idea that you would be willing marry this girl, just a month after she arrives in the States, contradicts everything taught on SoSuave, IMHO. The idea of a 19 year old virgin becoming your wife, to your 35 years, may sound ideal. Be centered in reality. It is still crucial to look after your own best intrests along the way!

Being willing to marry her, after a month here, just so you can have sex with her? That is a choice/consideration made by a man who is NOT thinking straight. Don't be that man! The fact that you would even consider it a possibility, that alone conveys to me that you are way out of balance. I understand desperate peole do desperate things. Don't be one! Be better than that!!! Get yourself straightened out. Make that your focus now, your number one priority. Get yourself rock solid. You will be glad you did.

I honestly don't expect the sex to be that good with her. She didn't even know how to kiss until I kissed her a few times, and even then she's terrible at it) She is shy and reserved, especially with regards to sex. She reminds me of people born in the 1930's here in the USA which spawned the 50's generation. It actually makes me wonder why she has little experience with men. I have asked her this several times, and she says that men who she considers her peers are not serous enough with her and thus she never got involved. She's average looking for Russian standards and would be above average for modern American standards.

I don't feel any desperation for this Russian girl. I feel a little bit of desperation for getting my youth experiences since I don't have much time left.

 

[GrowingPains]

Quotes are cute but they should not substitute for your own thinking process. Also, that thought is meaningless without context. Consider the following two perspectives:

"Being 'civilized' is bad because it domesticates man and turns him into a slave."
"Being 'civilized' is good because it frees man from men."



Age is whatever you think it is in your own context. Of course the medial field has not defined aging as a disease yet so our bodies break down over time.



No. I want young pvssy and friends between 18-21ish on my own terms.


I'm realistic when it comes to women. Even 'happy' marriages are work. And for the record, I doubt you know anything significantly more than I do. I knew about letting women push for exclusivity a long time ago.

Alright, well since you've got it all figured out and wanna be a weirdo by faking going to college:

Be charismatic, have your own opinion and own it. People always gravitate towards that. Women and friends alike.

Being popular is simply the result of a lot of people liking you. So meet a lot of people. How are you going to do that as a college kid that's not actually in college...idk. I'm still working on meeting people and I'm in college so I imagine your challenge is greater. But it seems the fastest way to meet a lot of people is to be a part of a large social group/club where you can meet plenty of people regularly.

If you see a group of people, go introduce yourself.

Being in a frat isn't the solution. Being cool with the guys in the frat is. It's less phony anyways. Then maybe they'll invite you to parties. One thing you're not going to be able to do that a lot of actual college students can is just meeting people in class. Forming study groups leads to a bigger social circle.

But with all that considered... I wouldn't do this if I were you. It's odd. It's weird. Sure don't care what other people think but you're unnecessarily setting yourself up for failure. As soon as someone in your social circle figures you out... Poof. But as I said earlier, you seem set in your way and have it all figured out so Godspeed.

I didn't contextualize the quotes because I left it to your interpretation. And allowed you to think about what they mean to you. Instead you turned it into an English class so whatever.

 

[marmel75]

My girlfriend from overseas. I've known her for a year and a half.

How desperate does one have to be to get into a relationship with someone thousands of miles away that you bang once or twice a year?

 

[GrowingPains]

Here's a thought:

You could be an advisor to a student club. Lmao.

 

[AJ84]

OP it seems like you are basing things on a lot of hypotheticals regrading this 19yr old girl who it doesn’t seem like you spent any real time with (like a consistent year to see really how things will be). The only time you spent with her was in her own country. Now a hot 19 yr old virgin is coming to a western country to be with a 35 yr old man who wants to party it up like he’s her age, before she gets here.

It’s going to take you time to infiltrate a college aged group to the point where you are ‘in’ with the group. If that goes as well as you hope, do you think you will honestly be able to just drop all that when she arrives? Because it seems to me your focus is more on being that 20yr old college stud then being married, and this 19 yr old is more like a reserve trophy piece for when you no longer can be that college stud.

Also whose to say she doesn’t dump you as soon as she arrives in the US? She’s already there at that point right, if that’s her goal. And maybe it is, but you’re too focused on the college stud dream to see that?

I just don’t see this going well for you to be honest. Why not just spend more time with Russian girl dating her but not committing to anything with no timelines for bringing her over, while trying this college because you may feel differently in a year when you see how your college plan works out.

 

[Plinco]

Alright, well since you've got it all figured out and wanna be a weirdo by faking going to college:

That's my idea and I think it's a good one.

Being popular is simply the result of a lot of people liking you. So meet a lot of people. How are you going to do that as a college kid that's not actually in college...idk. I'm still working on meeting people and I'm in college so I imagine your challenge is greater. But it seems the fastest way to meet a lot of people is to be a part of a large social group/club where you can meet plenty of people regularly.

Yep that's it.

If you see a group of people, go introduce yourself.

I do that with some success.

Being in a frat isn't the solution. Being cool with the guys in the frat is. It's less phony anyways. Then maybe they'll invite you to parties. One thing you're not going to be able to do that a lot of actual college students can is just meeting people in class. Forming study groups leads to a bigger social circle.

I've done this before. It's good advice though.

But with all that considered... I wouldn't do this if I were you. It's odd. It's weird. Sure don't care what other people think but you're unnecessarily setting yourself up for failure. As soon as someone in your social circle figures you out... Poof. But as I said earlier, you seem set in your way and have it all figured out so Godspeed.

Well it can't be any worse then giving up from the start.

I didn't contextualize the quotes because I left it to your interpretation. And allowed you to think about what they mean to you. Instead you turned it into an English class so whatever.

I hate ambiguity

 

[Plinco]

How desperate does one have to be to get into a relationship with someone thousands of miles away that you bang once or twice a year?

I'm not desperate when it comes to long term relationships and she's a virgin. She happens to be a lot better than any of the girls in my area.

 

[Plinco]

Here's a thought:

You could be an advisor to a student club. Lmao.

Yep, done this too. I like playing sports better)

 

[Plinco]

OP it seems like you are basing things on a lot of hypotheticals regrading this 19yr old girl who it doesn’t seem like you spent any real time with (like a consistent year to see really how things will be). The only time you spent with her was in her own country. Now a hot 19 yr old virgin is coming to a western country to be with a 35 yr old man who wants to party it up like he’s her age, before she gets here.

It’s going to take you time to infiltrate a college aged group to the point where you are ‘in’ with the group. If that goes as well as you hope, do you think you will honestly be able to just drop all that when she arrives? Because it seems to me your focus is more on being that 20yr old college stud then being married, and this 19 yr old is more like a reserve trophy piece for when you no longer can be that college stud.

Also whose to say she doesn’t dump you as soon as she arrives in the US? She’s already there at that point right, if that’s her goal. And maybe it is, but you’re too focused on the college stud dream to see that?

I just don’t see this going well for you to be honest. Why not just spend more time with Russian girl dating her but not committing to anything with no timelines for bringing her over, while trying this college because you may feel differently in a year when you see how your college plan works out.

I think your concerns are fair, and I think if I were someone else looking at me, as someone who does not know me, I would think the same way.

I think she would be too scared to leave me.