Hi guys, long time reader / lurker here. I want to run the story of this girl I'm seeing now with you, and if you guys are generous maybe you can drop some impressions.
I met this girl last year, around May. She was the girlfriend of a good buddy of mine. We went to some places in groups, and got to know her more on those occasions. At that time I was also seeing another girl which really wanted commitment but I was not sold on her. Anyway, her relationship with my buddy was short, about 1 and a half months, and he broke up with her, which is unlike him. Shortly after, she started hitting me up on Facebook to meet up. We met a few times, messeged each other, reached sexting then ****ed and ended up together. I left the girl I was seeing so I can be 100% with her.
To make sense why I did this, I liked her more because she was more fun, easy to talk about anything, she had more of a wild side, more open sexually, and a nice ass. One part that I got to know about her and worried me a bit was that since she was young she always had male friends and always was with them, very few other girls in those groups. She assured me she was like a little sister to them and none hitted on her.
However, over time, she gave out some red flags that were not OK with me. For example, when we went out in a club or with friends, she used to share little of her attention with me, and was very friendly with my guy friends (hugging, being close, etc). I was never a jealous guy but she managed to always get me heated up with these displays, to which point I yelled in the club at her because she was not hanging out with me but hugging my friend on the dance floor while I was smoking outside. She at that point accused me of being jealous. Another one was when we went to a festival, I had a mutual friend and she knew no one there. But, there was this guy, a drummer in a local band, and I noticed she kept checking him out, was keeping close to him, laughing, making jokes, etc, and I was just staring like Wtf. At one point the guy was doing something and she pulled her top to show part of her tits so he could do the joke. I snapped and commented that was very ****ed up, she kept hugging and kissing me that it was just funny, I talked with her and wanted to break up but cooled down and went forward.
These were when we were together early. Since then, there were no other red flags, everything was going great, good sex, good company, always shared her time with me, we did things together, we had talks about our future together, etc. All seemed great.
Fast forward to about 1 month ago, sex life was not good anymore, I had to force her some times to do it, and it wasn't with the same passion, and just sex no *******s no nothing. Because of this, I had a weird gut feeling. So, in one night, while she was sleeping, I went through her phone.
I found, in regular messages, not WhatsApp or Facebook what she normally uses, conversations with guys complaining that she isn't replying to them anymore, stuff like that. I thought, heh, orbiters being orbiters. However, out of curiosity, there was this guy she told me about, from the old gang she had longer ago, older than us and who is now married. She always spoke with an admiring tone how many ****ed up things he's done, how much of a man ***** he is, etc. I read their convo and find an extremely sexual chat between them, from about 2 months ago, where he was remembering how good it felt to **** her and have her suck his ****. Her replies were sparse, like emojis and "I'll think about it", but between those chats there were texts like "hey I'll drop by later today / lemme call you so we can see each other tomorrow".
I got mad as ****, managed to not choke her while sleeping by smoking half a pack and downing a bottle of vodka. I confronted her later in the day, being calm, and told her that I looked through her phone and found that convo. She was very calm about it, which surprised me "oh, I don't even remember what I talked last with him" and scrolled up on the chat, then "oh, yeah, this convo.. Let me explain" then goes to say that about 4 years ago they had about 2 ONS, she moved on after those like nothing but that he was still insisting on remembering and that he was not passed those moments. I said that the convo was like it happened much more recently than 4 years ago, with that level of details, and even if I buy that, what's with the seeing each other texts. She was like oh you know, we are friends, we always talk to meet and just chat, but we never do, and never actually met even if we said in chat. I didn't buy that at all but said OK and that I will think about it.
After this incident, I detached my feelings and said that I will keep her around for sex and company while she keeps a pact she agreed with me to win my trust back. We talked about the convo, she cried several times and said what she said is the truth and did nothing wrong,and that she really wants this to work and she never loved anybody like me now. Even though I said I will keep her in a trial period, if she messes up again with something like this we are ending it, but next month we are moving in together, and she keeps talking about having a baby with me. She earns less than me, by half, and I treat her sometimes although I have her usually pay for half of the ****.
So, how blind am I? Or can she possibly be right and be honest? Any advice on this is highly appreciated, thanks for your time guys!
