Am I blind or just insecure? Girlfriend red flags

[mrgoodstuff]

I doubt it would be enough. The fresh stink of beta would likely still be on her mind.

One year really isn't that long, but I could be wrong. If someone has a success story in this area with that timeline it would be interesting to hear about.

If she came back and he had a successful rotation she could think all she wants.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It is her thinking and categorizing him as a beta that makes it a problem.

But if she comes back and his life is validating him as an Alpha she may have gotten him wrong.

 

[shouldbefun]

@Danger So walk me through it, the thing is no one says you are an option B or no one even acts as if you are an option B right ?
I read some str8up posts but I want to understand, if a girl shows that you are Low Interest, can you sleep with her, and if yes whats the best way, to game her ass/heavy kino during daygame, going for kisses even ? Because meeting a High interest girl is like waiting for the stars and sun to align, it doesn't happen often, plus if its High interest, then why do you need game right? She's literally screaming that she wants only you!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When someon gets LJBF, it is usually because of enough beta signals over a long period of time that she is confident in her assessment.

Have you experienced a 1 year LJBF turn around?

Yes. You have to leave them alone. They need to see the social validation. But yes most will keep you in a box. And there really is no "redemption" in the game.

 

[shouldbefun]

A lot of jumbled questions here so let me tackle what I think you are getting at.

Option A and B are a different element than just gaming her. Option A and B are just outcomes of successful gaming (you gained her interest and attraction).

If you are option A, then you beat out the other contenders.

If you are option B, odds are she is so heavily invested in another man that no game level is going to succeed for now.

Option B is NOT low interest.

I thought option B is being a side for her.

Ok say a girl has low interest for me, can I game her ass ? I mean when I asked her to hang out she ignored my text but tried to gain my attention when I was in the same area as her. I saw her today and she smiled at me. I didn't approach her though. Just carried on...Any chance of salvaging, I mean I have her number etc. Because If i cut my loses, I'll never gain experience over this field right ?

 

[shouldbefun]

What is your definition of "being a side for her"?

Option B means she is interested, but not right now. Backup plan.

Most girls start with low interest. They are in a sea of betas so they assume beta. So yes, I would normally say keep gaming.

She knows you want her, that is why she smiled. If she ignored your text it could mean a lot of different things.

I would say you likely need to do more subtle DHVs and casually ignore her.

Ok so what do I need to do? Say to her, 'I need a companion, no we won't have sex/ Im not into dating as well, I just want someone to go out with me' talk? I see her in uni's and I don't know how I can increase my chances of kino with her, basically what do you mean casually ignore her? Let her come to me? No action at all?

 

[shouldbefun]

Oh god do not say that.

How often do you interact with her? Do you just see her in class or are you part of the same social circle?

Not often, Most of the time either in library, sometimes in the street. No classes together, I approached her lol. I liked what I saw and I approached.

RSDtyler said that quote and managed to bang a chick after working with her for 10 hours.

What do you recommend next course of action? Walked past her, and she was sitting, and she looked at me and smiled, I was like woah are you being nice or still interested? And when I earlier told her tell me are you busy or not interested, and she's like I'm busy on text.

 

[shouldbefun]

I know the tendency is for men to want a single direct piece of advice to win the girl of their dreams, but the real answer lies in your overall value, status and demeanor. Don't fish with one line but cast nets.

Right now you are fishing on one line with one girl with pickup. Every situation is different with subtle nuances and body language. The best but limited advice I can give you is to practice your day game if that is what you want to grow in.

So theres nothing in my hands that I can try atleast ?

The thing is I don't know how or when I should bump into her, sit with her or just leave her alone? Why does saying what tyler say is wrong? Why not try to kino and kiss her and if she's unreceptive, statement of empathy and then carry on?

Or I mean I can leave her alone. Seems legit too. But it feels like a wasted opportunity.

 

[Glassguy]

Youve been around,glassguy and you know the game. Many females expect you to have a few ladies you do things with. Thus it just makes them compete more. Now a self respecting woman who wants a relationship, shed be gone. But a dater in the game she expects it.

I agree to an extent.

Every chick in my current rotation are self respecting women who want a relationship. They also know that I enjoy being single and I dont NEED a relationship with anyone to be happy.

Yet they continue to see me regularly.

So what is the trick? Why dont they bounce?

It comes down to their attraction/interest is still sky high. They seek MY validation. I am THEIR best option. Could that change? Sure. But that is the beauty of abundance. They like working a little for my time and attention. It does come but not easily. I do reward their good behavior that benefits me.

Its like the old saying "the rich get richer". We all start with nothing but once you build the rotation/abundance mindset you can still give each your undivided and specific attention.

The trick to early on dating a chick is: make the dates an experience. Then pull back. Then another great experience. Then pull back. Etc etc. Soon they are hooked.

Abundance and a rotation makes this a natural process. And it's not me gaming them, only me having a busy life. I'm constantly getting sexual attention from them yet I give them limited in return individually.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree to an extent.

Every chick in my current rotation are self respecting women who want a relationship. They also know that I enjoy being single and I dont NEED a relationship with anyone to be happy.

Yet they continue to see me regularly.

So what is the trick? Why dont they bounce?

It comes down to their attraction/interest is still sky high. They seek MY validation. I am THEIR best option. Could that change? Sure. But that is the beauty of abundance. They like working a little for my time and attention. It does come but not easily. I do reward their good behavior that benefits me.

Its like the old saying "the rich get richer". We all start with nothing but once you build the rotation/abundance mindset you can still give each your undivided and specific attention.

The trick to early on dating a chick is: make the dates an experience. Then pull back. Then another great experience. Then pull back. Etc etc. Soon they are hooked.

Abundance and a rotation makes this a natural process. And it's not me gaming them, only me having a busy life. I'm constantly getting sexual attention from them yet I give them limited in return individually.

Didnt you have a divorce before your single situation? Did you have to build your life back to an extent before you could pull this off?

 

[shouldbefun]

I am not saying to leave her alone or to use or not use Tyler's suggestion.

I don't know and can't know enough about what micromove to do next because I was not there for the whole situation and interactions.

I understand that you want a magic bullet, but nobody can provide other than your own experience.

She is not saying no to you, but her actions are not a direct yes either. Build more attraction.

No I don't want a magic bullet, I just want to see if anything will lead from one thing to another. Assuming that there is interest, what should I do? I just don't know what I should say tbh, I mean I tried eye contact. I tried talking. I also know that the next time I'll see her she won't go magically meet me the day after. I say act as friends, but be more than friends ?

 

[Glassguy]

Didnt you have a divorce before your single situation? Did you have to build your life back to an extent before you could pull this off?

I did. I had a nice rotation before I was married. Married at 28 yrs old.

After my divorce (and even during the final stages of the divorce) I put together a nice string on a rotation. To be honest I went full blow ho for months while acquiring that rotation. Ended up in a LTR and engaged. Dated her for 3 yrs. We ended it. I took about a month off dating anyone to get my mind right. There wasn't any reason to be in the wrong mindset and blow potential leads/plates.

Then I got back on the saddle and ponied up. Minus one sort of relationship that lasted 5 months (and during the course of which I started having serious doubts and started lining up a new rotation) I have been single and spinning plates.

Time wise it could take 3-4 months to get a solid rotation of dependable and high interest women. I'm talking at least 3 potentially 4 that submit and stick around. Consistent sex from each.

However, when you get really good at screening, you can put together a rotation in a shorter amount of time because you'll waste less time on dates you shouldn't be on in the first place and you can focus more on having more girls to screen to begin with.

I'd rather be in the process of screening 5 rather than trying to go on 20 first dates in order to figure it out.

I've had several former plates come back into rotations. I will say that rarely works out because they either feel as though our previous history should streamline the relationship process (wont happen) or they have a sour taste still in their mouth from me dropping them previously. Which leads to shyte tests that I'm not going to indulge in or being accused of only bringing them back in for sex (which I'm not going to deal with either because I dont have to).

I'd rather have 3 great plates in my rotation (high interest, attraction, great personalities and dependable) than 8 or 9 that I know I cant give appropriate time to each in order to keep them around long. That many just leads to me p!ssing them off and them having bad feelings. Never a good thing.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I did. I had a nice rotation before I was married. Married at 28 yrs old.

After my divorce (and even during the final stages of the divorce) I put together a nice string on a rotation. To be honest I went full blow ho for months while acquiring that rotation. Ended up in a LTR and engaged. Dated her for 3 yrs. We ended it. I took about a month off dating anyone to get my mind right. There wasn't any reason to be in the wrong mindset and blow potential leads/plates.

Then I got back on the saddle and ponied up. Minus one sort of relationship that lasted 5 months (and during the course of which I started having serious doubts and started lining up a new rotation) I have been single and spinning plates.

Time wise it could take 3-4 months to get a solid rotation of dependable and high interest women. I'm talking at least 3 potentially 4 that submit and stick around. Consistent sex from each.

However, when you get really good at screening, you can put together a rotation in a shorter amount of time because you'll waste less time on dates you shouldn't be on in the first place and you can focus more on having more girls to screen to begin with.

I'd rather be in the process of screening 5 rather than trying to go on 20 first dates in order to figure it out.

I've had several former plates come back into rotations. I will say that rarely works out because they either feel as though our previous history should streamline the relationship process (wont happen) or they have a sour taste still in their mouth from me dropping them previously. Which leads to shyte tests that I'm not going to indulge in or being accused of only bringing them back in for sex (which I'm not going to deal with either because I dont have to).

I'd rather have 3 great plates in my rotation (high interest, attraction, great personalities and dependable) than 8 or 9 that I know I cant give appropriate time to each in order to keep them around long. That many just leads to me p!ssing them off and them having bad feelings. Never a good thing.

3 solid cyllinders for your piston.

 

[SoSuave666]

The thing that men need to be prepared for when spinning plates is that eventually, women with self-respect will leave. They may get invested over time and even though you are sleeping with other women they will still want to try and lock you down eventually. We teach men to walk away at disrespect, and although you shouldn't be disrespecting women you are spinning they will sooner or later say sh!t or get off the pot.

Any man that wants to seriously spin plates needs to always be on his game and have great experiences with women to keep them around for longer. You need to really learn how to seduce and never get out of your seductive mode with women. I treat pretty much all women the same, I'm always flirting to a fault. I do it in front of the women I am seeing sometimes and don't even realize it. If they are a good girl and you like them as a person you have to be committed to the plate life and be willing to let them leave when they inevitably realize you will not commit. The longest plate I ever had that I thought would be a great LTR for another dude (or potentially me if I ever got there) was right around 8 months.

It's a true, real lifestyle change for many men who want to be monogamous. But men get hurt time and time again by fickle women that short, 3-6 month STRs with three women is the new ideal for men. And if you want to get even more philosophical you should always have two other plates: purpose and social life/hobbies.

 

[shouldbefun]

The thing that men need to be prepared for when spinning plates is that eventually, women with self-respect will leave. They may get invested over time and even though you are sleeping with other women they will still want to try and lock you down eventually. We teach men to walk away at disrespect, and although you shouldn't be disrespecting women you are spinning they will sooner or later say sh!t or get off the pot.

Any man that wants to seriously spin plates needs to always be on his game and have great experiences with women to keep them around for longer. You need to really learn how to seduce and never get out of your seductive mode with women. I treat pretty much all women the same, I'm always flirting to a fault. I do it in front of the women I am seeing sometimes and don't even realize it. If they are a good girl and you like them as a person you have to be committed to the plate life and be willing to let them leave when they inevitably realize you will not commit. The longest plate I ever had that I thought would be a great LTR for another dude (or potentially me if I ever got there) was right around 8 months.

It's a true, real lifestyle change for many men who want to be monogamous. But men get hurt time and time again by fickle women that short, 3-6 month STRs with three women is the new ideal for men. And if you want to get even more philosophical you should always have two other plates: purpose and social life/hobbies.

You talk about guys should seduce but how on earth can you never get out of your mode? You cant be a seducer 24/7

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You talk about guys should seduce but how on earth can you never get out of your mode? You cant be a seducer 24/7

Its a lifestyle maybe becoming 24/7 autopilot?

 

[shouldbefun]

Its a lifestyle maybe becoming 24/7 autopilot?

Nah thats not how it works. Like I understand that, but we aren’t talking anything specific’s here. Thats like saying to be a pilot, you have to practice flying and turn it into a lifestyle. But thats top down approach, the specifics is you need instructors, and lots of knowledge to be a pilot.

 

[SoSuave666]

You talk about guys should seduce but how on earth can you never get out of your mode? You cant be a seducer 24/7

Because women are like children. Every time you interact with a child you need to treat them like a child, not a man. Every time you interact with a woman it should be flirty, playful, fun. This is what they respond to

 

[shouldbefun]

Because women are like children. Every time you interact with a child you need to treat them like a child, not a man. Every time you interact with a woman it should be flirty, playful, fun. This is what they respond to

In other words, have a relaxed view. Don’t be serious on yourself or on others; enjoy communicating.

 

[kelevra]

It sounds like the relationship didn't start off on the right foot in the first place. That being said, extrapolate how your feeling now to the end of your life. If you marry this chick, and have kids with her, that is going to be the position you are in. She knows you'll deal with her BS. She is entering the declining period of her SMV and wants to get you tied up so she (and her child) will be taken care of. I would not expect her to become a different person once you put a ring on it...in fact, it will likely just make you feel worse and even resentful knowing that you have so much more to lose now. I had a girlfriend once that suddenly stopped having sex with me and being difficult about it. I should have put 2 and 2 together much sooner, but I eventually found out she was cheating on me. She's getting it from somewhere dude. If she does ever get pregnant when you are together, and she decides to keep it, you better get a paternity test...even if you're married. For some reason I have trouble applying these thoughts to my own life, as I sense you might, but from an outsiders perspective, this does not look good. Think about your story as if someone was telling it to you. Would you tell this hypothetical person to keep on trucking, or just drop it and move on? The best thing you can do (for both of you) is let her go, otherwise I fear you may come home early from work one day to find another man in your bed (if/when you move in together)