nicksaiz65 Odyssey

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nicksaiz65

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The Power of No

If you guys wouldn’t mind, I’d like to go on a quick drunken rant.

I’m so tired of people telling me no. No, I have a boyfriend. No, you can’t go to our Ivy League School. No, you’ll never be a virtuoso violinist. No, you’ll never learn Game. No, you’re too stupid to major in Computer Science. I hate it.

What has me thinking about this is that I was at work and saw a cute ass girl. I was gonna Approach. But then this Chad comes up and starts making out with her. I couldn’t even use my Game to fight back. I couldn’t do shyt. I felt so powerless and angry. It felt like a thousand daggers pressed against my soul.

I’m done with Life telling me no. If life closes a door for me, I’m gonna break it down.

Starting with being a violinist. Weirdly enough, I’m happy I’ll be at school 5.5 years. That’ll give me enough time to learn the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto and be the virtuoso violin whiz kid that I was always meant to be. And I’ll make money and stunt on everyone by getting into a prestigious orchestra. I will be the best.
 

GrowingPains

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Yo yo

Glad to see you're making progress!

A couple questions/comments:

1. About these girls dissing your friends: they disrespected you by talking about them the way they did. In the future, I wouldn't take that. Tell them they're gonna have to keep their thoughts to themselves because you don't appreciate the way they're dissing your boys or they can leave (which they should have because you were on a date, no?). I understand you tried to defend em, thats honorable. But next time just tell em to get gone. And as a side effect: the girl you're with would've respected you for it as long as you did it respectfully (keep in mind, those brainless b!tches are still her friends).

2. Curious what you think about this: Jose Zuniga is a cool dude, I haven't watched much of his recent relationship stuff though. However, if this girl knows you like her (you went on a date, offered to pay for her drink) how would liking her pictures help you? It's like free validation which would only push her away, right? Or maybe not, I don't have social media so iono.

3. I'm happy for you that you got to hang with this girl, in terms of it being a milestone. But you're putting her on a pedestal, G. Reread what you wrote. Hoping she things you did a good job and wondering if she thinks this or that. Fvck all that. Did you have a good time? Was her company good enough that you'd ask her out again?

4. Keep improving in all areas. But do it for you. Of course it will have it's side effects and they will benefit you but those side effects shouldn't be the main motivation. Do it for Nick. Not for the slvts. Not to prove anyone wrong. But for you. Live your life for you, if you live trying to please other people all the time... You will never achieve your goal and your life will feel meaningless.
 

nicksaiz65

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Yo yo

Glad to see you're making progress!

A couple questions/comments:

1. About these girls dissing your friends: they disrespected you by talking about them the way they did. In the future, I wouldn't take that. Tell them they're gonna have to keep their thoughts to themselves because you don't appreciate the way they're dissing your boys or they can leave (which they should have because you were on a date, no?). I understand you tried to defend em, thats honorable. But next time just tell em to get gone. And as a side effect: the girl you're with would've respected you for it as long as you did it respectfully (keep in mind, those brainless b!tches are still her friends).

2. Curious what you think about this: Jose Zuniga is a cool dude, I haven't watched much of his recent relationship stuff though. However, if this girl knows you like her (you went on a date, offered to pay for her drink) how would liking her pictures help you? It's like free validation which would only push her away, right? Or maybe not, I don't have social media so iono.

3. I'm happy for you that you got to hang with this girl, in terms of it being a milestone. But you're putting her on a pedestal, G. Reread what you wrote. Hoping she things you did a good job and wondering if she thinks this or that. Fvck all that. Did you have a good time? Was her company good enough that you'd ask her out again?

4. Keep improving in all areas. But do it for you. Of course it will have it's side effects and they will benefit you but those side effects shouldn't be the main motivation. Do it for Nick. Not for the slvts. Not to prove anyone wrong. But for you. Live your life for you, if you live trying to please other people all the time... You will never achieve your goal and your life will feel meaningless.
Hey bro, I’m a fan of the progress you’re making as well! Seeing everyone succeed really motivates me.

1.) Yeah man, I tried to back up my friends as much as I could. But I was like damn at the time. I always knew that girls were ruthless, but it’s a totally different experience reading about it vs. experiencing it first hand. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been an intellectual, but party hoes really get on my nerves, even if they’re hot. All they have going for them is their looks, and all that’s on their mind is status and house parties. Nothing of substance there at all.

2.) I think the video is called How to Flirt with a Girl on Social Media or Sliding in DMs or something similar? It’s essentially a flirting technique. The idea is that she likes some of your pictures back. I would definitely recommend getting social media though. As superficial as it is, a lot of girls will instantly disqualify you if you don’t have it.

3.) You’re right. I feel like that’ll naturally go away as my self esteem continues to rise. Unfortunately I’ve struggled with that my whole life. I’m hoping to have it taken care of by the end of Year 2 for this journal. If not that, then Year 3 at the absolute latest.

4.) I’m trying really hard to work on that. I’m having real trouble shifting my paradigm though. Because my whole reason for getting out of bed was “pass these classes with flying colors and prove these b*stards wrong.” Any tips? This shyt is ingrained so deeply into my head it’s hard to get rid of.

Thanks for the commentary on the journal!
 

nicksaiz65

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I Lowkey need to Go to Therapy

I was gonna do some Cold Approaches today guys, but I just don’t have it in me. I Lowkey need therapy. I’m like 2 cm away from going.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can do 25+ Approaches and even get laid from it, but then my insecurities flare up and I can’t even do a single approach. Not even just with approaches, I’m so tired and stressed out about my life in general. I’m just so unhappy even with the Don Juan stuff in my life again.

I thought this website would solve every problem in my life. And it’s given me all the solutions that I asked for. But I don’t know. I feel... smothered I guess? I’ve been holding my emotions in for so long.

I’m really disappointed in myself for not approaching. I’ve got to get this Inner Game sorted. I’m at work now, but after I eat and get off work, I’m gonna do a post detailing every negative emotion that I have.

I just need to trust the DJ Process 100% I guess. Stay tuned.
 

nicksaiz65

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Burned out maybe, respect for all those approach
Thanks bro. Honestly to me 25 is nothing. I’ll be happy when I hit like 200.

I think my fake confidence is just expired tbh

I ended up saying eff it and did an approach. I’ll update that along with my emotional vent.
 

nicksaiz65

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Cold Approach 27 + Intermezzo

So even though I’m an emotional wreck and a half, I can still pull myself together and approach.

I can’t say I really remember much about this approach other than the fact that she was kinoing me heavy and she works in my city. She was talking to a lot of Chads too though. So I got her contact info, but I’ve learned to expect nothing from these women. We’ll see how it goes. She is pretty cute, but I keep my expectations at zero. Not because of a lack of confidence, but because I know how flakey these women can be.

I’ve started to get very drunk when I do these approaches, which probably isn’t for the best.

I’ll have a free Audible Credit in the month of February. I’m gonna start reading a book called The Immortalists. Seems like it’ll be very good. I’m still not done with The Dead Key but I’ll have it done by my 22nd Birthday. Interesting book, very long. After that, I’m gonna read a couple Seduction books and then I’m gonna start The Lord of the Rings. I’ve seen the movies but I’ve always wanted to read that series.

I’m gonna have to know how to cut my own hair. There’s just no way around it. It’s the only way to stay crispy, I can’t go to the barber every single week. I wanna know how to do a full haircut as I please though. In terms of waving and cutting, I need to reach that old school Nick Wavy Level.

Now that I’ve worked 2 weekends, I can afford the 1 hour coaching with Dr. Nerdlove. I even have a bit of money that I can save for school and clothes. This will be my last “big” purchase for a while. After that, I’m exclusively saving for school. A car too, not having a car is extremely inconvenient. I’ll try not to eat out too much as well.

School
I’m going in on the books today. I’m gonna study for literally 10 hours. I said I’m getting a 4.0, and that’s exactly what the fvck I’m gonna do. I’ll update you all once I’m done, and on what I studied.
 
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nicksaiz65

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Regarding Self Cutting

I definitely have to learn to Self Cut if I want to be an Elite Waver. I was feeling a little bit Self Conscious about my lineup today. So I said eff it and lined myself up in my Self Cut System 2.0. I did a pretty good job, and I feel great. My lineup is crispy, and now I’m really ready to get to work today. I hope to have this Cutting skill mastered by the end of the year. If I do that, I can hit the barber shop every 3 weeks to 1 month to get a professional cut, kind of like a white person. Then I can just cut myself and stay looking fresh in the meantime.

I’m too scared to use a razor blade on myself cause I feel like I’ll cut my finger open. So I just use eyebrow shapers to get the line extra sharp after I hit it with the T-Liners.

Loving the way this temp fade buzzcut looks on me. Now I’m gonna keep brushing while I listen to The Dead Key audiobook.

The hardest part is not pushing my damn edges back. Especially since I have a big forehead. I look at pictures that professional barbers have done on me and try my best to replicate them.

Table Policy
Also, regarding going up and sitting with your friends. Just walk up and grab a seat. Don’t ask. That’s like asking “can I kiss you.”
 
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nicksaiz65

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Regarding Self Cutting 2

Also, another trick that I learned from professional barbers is to just trust the mirror. Don’t worry about taking all these pictures of your fade and line and stuff. Just look in the mirror, and if it’s good it’s good. Let it be.

I ordered about 60 eyebrow shapers from Amazon. This will help me keep that sharp lineup in there and help me continue to look good.
 

nicksaiz65

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Cold Approach 27.5

I’ve said over and over that one of these days I’m gonna get into Daygame especially since I’m on a College Campus. I went to get dinner with one of my friends. And I don’t know what came over me, but I decided to go talk to some girls and get some numbers.

I’m only counting this as half an approach cause the approach was just horrible, honestly. I didn’t even get any numbers. But I thought it was worth notating because it helped me bust my fear of Daygame a bit.

I start by approaching a blond HB 9. I just say “what’s up” and sit at the table with her and my friend. She smiles and is friendly. I talk to her and ask her a few questions but I end up just talking to my friend most of the time until she leaves. I just didn’t know what to talk about. I’m really bad at Daygame. And honestly, my approach in general could use some work. But it’ll just be something that I improve on as this year passes. I’m gonna have to reread some Roosh or Richard la Ruina before I go out again. I like a more structured PUA approach that SEEMS like I’m being charismatic and natural. I’m gonna do that for some regular conversations too. That way, I don’t come across the problem of “well what the fvck do I say/talk about now.”

Also, you all remember HB A? I remember that a lot of journals on here were very creative with the names and I liked that. So henceforth, we will call her HB Candice. I have zero creativity when it comes to thinking of names so I’m gonna use a random name generator. Pretty ironic considering that I wanted to be a writer at one point. Should I continue to pursue that passion? I think that I will. Maybe I could even make some money off it? Anyways.

But HB Candice and I really fell out. If you wanna hear the full story, I’ll post a link to the thread where I talk about it cause I’ll be damned if I type all of that again. It’s so awkward just running into her all the time. We have such similar schedules that I see her around literally all the time. If I bump directly into her I suppose I’ll say hi. But I just don’t know how to handle this. Thoughts, guys?

Here’s the thread if you guys want to know the full story. Actually, I need to update that thread whenever I have some free time. But right now, I have to study, so here you go...

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...r-the-influence-what-the-hell-do-i-do.256253/
 
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nicksaiz65

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Red Pilled Reading
Oh and before I forget, after I read The Lord of the Rings, the next book on my list is 48 Laws of Power. I may as well read the other Robert Greene book The Laws of Human Nature at that point too.
 

lamath

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Red Pilled Reading
Oh and before I forget, after I read The Lord of the Rings, the next book on my list is 48 Laws of Power. I may as well read the other Robert Greene book The Laws of Human Nature at that point too.
My favorite Robert Greene is 33 strategies of war
Mastery is also quite good
 

nicksaiz65

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My favorite Robert Greene is 33 strategies of war
Mastery is also quite good
I hadn’t even heard of those. His books are interesting and I think you can learn a good bit from them that applies to everyday life.
 

GrowingPains

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Cold Approach 27.5

I’ve said over and over that one of these days I’m gonna get into Daygame especially since I’m on a College Campus. I went to get dinner with one of my friends. And I don’t know what came over me, but I decided to go talk to some girls and get some numbers.

I’m only counting this as half an approach cause the approach was just horrible, honestly. I didn’t even get any numbers. But I thought it was worth notating because it helped me bust my fear of Daygame a bit.

I start by approaching a blond HB 9. I just say “what’s up” and sit at the table with her and my friend. She smiles and is friendly. I talk to her and ask her a few questions but I end up just talking to my friend most of the time until she leaves. I just didn’t know what to talk about. I’m really bad at Daygame. And honestly, my approach in general could use some work. But it’ll just be something that I improve on as this year passes. I’m gonna have to reread some Roosh or Richard la Ruina before I go out again. I like a more structured PUA approach that SEEMS like I’m being charismatic and natural. I’m gonna do that for some regular conversations too. That way, I don’t come across the problem of “well what the fvck do I say/talk about now.”

Also, you all remember HB A? I remember that a lot of journals on here were very creative with the names and I liked that. So henceforth, we will call her HB Candice. I have zero creativity when it comes to thinking of names so I’m gonna use a random name generator. Pretty ironic considering that I wanted to be a writer at one point. Should I continue to pursue that passion? I think that I will. Maybe I could even make some money off it? Anyways.

But HB Candice and I really fell out. If you wanna hear the full story, I’ll post a link to the thread where I talk about it cause I’ll be damned if I type all of that again. It’s so awkward just running into her all the time. We have such similar schedules that I see her around literally all the time. If I bump directly into her I suppose I’ll say hi. But I just don’t know how to handle this. Thoughts, guys?

Here’s the thread if you guys want to know the full story. Actually, I need to update that thread whenever I have some free time. But right now, I have to study, so here you go...

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threa...r-the-influence-what-the-hell-do-i-do.256253/
Hey Nick,

To answer your question from the other day about how to make your purpose more about you and less about proving people wrong or getting people's validation: think about why you want to do these things. Will it make your life better? Regardless of if the other people died today, will it make you a happier you? Why? Do you enjoy the thing you're working to improve? If you don't enjoy it, don't waste your time, life's too short. As far as things that relate to your purpose go.. I find that the people I look up to are often so set on something they believe in because they believe it will help others. It's not about what their purpose can do for them, it's about what good they can do for the world. These thoughts require some deep thinking, but it's worth it.

Regarding conversations with women and having stuff to say: check my last forum post and maybe even DJ bootcamp week 2 if you need some readings. BigDave is right about how you have good conversations with people. Be genuinely interested in them and ask them stuff about them. Human nature is narcicisstic. What could someone possibly know more about than themselves? How to Win Friends and Influence People is a good book on this. Conversational threading (see my post) will help you keep the convo going.

Regarding what to do when you see HB Candice: see attached.

Gotta get my fade right too bro, keep me on my toes! Maybe I'll try tomorrow... Lol stay tuned.
 

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nicksaiz65

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Hey Nick,

To answer your question from the other day about how to make your purpose more about you and less about proving people wrong or getting people's validation: think about why you want to do these things. Will it make your life better? Regardless of if the other people died today, will it make you a happier you? Why? Do you enjoy the thing you're working to improve? If you don't enjoy it, don't waste your time, life's too short. As far as things that relate to your purpose go.. I find that the people I look up to are often so set on something they believe in because they believe it will help others. It's not about what their purpose can do for them, it's about what good they can do for the world. These thoughts require some deep thinking, but it's worth it.

Regarding conversations with women and having stuff to say: check my last forum post and maybe even DJ bootcamp week 2 if you need some readings. BigDave is right about how you have good conversations with people. Be genuinely interested in them and ask them stuff about them. Human nature is narcicisstic. What could someone possibly know more about than themselves? How to Win Friends and Influence People is a good book on this. Conversational threading (see my post) will help you keep the convo going.

Regarding what to do when you see HB Candice: see attached.

Gotta get my fade right too bro, keep me on my toes! Maybe I'll try tomorrow... Lol stay tuned.
Yo bro, hope you’re doing well. Regarding my passions, I’m lucky that I know exactly what I want to do in life. I definitely do want to program, bodybuild, be a musician, be a Don Juan, and all that good stuff. Unfortunately, these classes are so boring, I’m so tempted to skip but I can’t if I want to graduate lol. But anyways, the thing is that some people make me so mad when they tell me I can’t do stuff. I’m still working on letting that go.

I’ll keep practicing the conversational techniques! I feel like this’ll just keep getting easier and easier as I continue to approach.

And hahaha I’ll definitely keep that in mind with HB Candice.
 
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GrowingPains

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Yo bro, hope you’re doing well. Regarding my passions, I’m lucky that I know exactly what I want to do in life. I definitely do want to program, bodybuild, be a musician, be a Don Juan, and all that good stuff. Unfortunately, these classes are so boring, I’m so tempted to skip but I can’t if I want to graduate lol. But anyways, the thing is that some people make me so mad when they tell me I can’t do stuff. I’m still working on letting that go.QUOTE]
.
I had the same problem with thinking classes were boring very recently. But you want to be a programmer, you want to be good at what you do, yes? Which means you need to know the tools of your trade. Your classes are teaching you the skills of your trade. You are learning the basic building blocks that you will use to become a programming machine.

My advisor recently put it to me like this: There's a difference between a chef and a cook. A cook knows recipes and that's all they'll ever know. They read the recipe and they know how to do what they're told. They can't use those recipes to create new things. Because they don't understand the ingredients (how to cook them, what happens at a different temperature, what if you combine it with this). But a chef understands the things I just mentioned, and can therefore make new recipes on the spot. They are true masters of their craft.

For me, the courses I'm in are giving me the basics I need to solve challenging problems in the future. Sure you need some experience to be able to solve challenging problems as well, but it all comes back to the basics at some point. That's why you need your classes. If you don't understand the basics, you can't understand more advanced or practical things. I think a way to relate it to coding: what if you skip your linear algebra classes and then you take a machine learning class or do machine learning at your job but you don't know the underlying principals (linear algebra). Can you see how mastering/applying machine learning will be a challenge and you will be limited in your success?

Developing a craftsman mindset will help you with this. You might find Cal Newport's book So Good They Can't Ignore you good. He is a computer science professor so the anecdotes in the book are even more relevant to you. Check it out, I read that you have a free audible credit coming up ;) this book really changed my view on school sophomore year. I used to just want to be an engineer for money. But I reconnected with the part of me that wanted to be an engineer to do good for society after reading this. He also has some stuff on studying and time management and getting good at what you do etc etc. Huge fan of his work
 

nicksaiz65

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I had the same problem with thinking classes were boring very recently. But you want to be a programmer, you want to be good at what you do, yes? Which means you need to know the tools of your trade. Your classes are teaching you the skills of your trade. You are learning the basic building blocks that you will use to become a programming machine.

My advisor recently put it to me like this: There's a difference between a chef and a cook. A cook knows recipes and that's all they'll ever know. They read the recipe and they know how to do what they're told. They can't use those recipes to create new things. Because they don't understand the ingredients (how to cook them, what happens at a different temperature, what if you combine it with this). But a chef understands the things I just mentioned, and can therefore make new recipes on the spot. They are true masters of their craft.

For me, the courses I'm in are giving me the basics I need to solve challenging problems in the future. Sure you need some experience to be able to solve challenging problems as well, but it all comes back to the basics at some point. That's why you need your classes. If you don't understand the basics, you can't understand more advanced or practical things. I think a way to relate it to coding: what if you skip your linear algebra classes and then you take a machine learning class or do machine learning at your job but you don't know the underlying principals (linear algebra). Can you see how mastering/applying machine learning will be a challenge and you will be limited in your success?

Developing a craftsman mindset will help you with this. You might find Cal Newport's book So Good They Can't Ignore you good. He is a computer science professor so the anecdotes in the book are even more relevant to you. Check it out, I read that you have a free audible credit coming up ;) this book really changed my view on school sophomore year. I used to just want to be an engineer for money. But I reconnected with the part of me that wanted to be an engineer to do good for society after reading this. He also has some stuff on studying and time management and getting good at what you do etc etc. Huge fan of his work
That’s a great mindset to have. I’ll definitely have to give that book a shot. If you have any more books you recommend, please send them my way. I’m always looking to read new stuff.

I’ve been thinking a lot about after I graduate lately(although I do have a lot of coursework left to do before that even becomes an option.) I was thinking to myself, even if I do get a prestigious engineering job, will I truly be happy? And the answer is, I think so. If a corporation can pay me big buxx to listen to classical music and solve challenging programming problems all day, I’ll definitely take it. But one step at a time: I need to start by acing this semester.
 

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1/29/19: The Seal Has Been Broken

School
I'm a bit behind because I've missed quite a few classes. I have a good amount of material to catch up on. Lots and lots of work to do this week if I want to succeed. This week is gonna be hellish, but I have to(and will) do it so that I can get the success that I deserve in my life.

Programming
So I know about what my programming assignments are gonna be this semester. I've decided that I'm gonna work exclusively in IDEs from now on. That's how I did it back in the day and I'm going to continue to do it for the rest of my life. The school recommended that I use Eclipse, but I'm just not a fan at all. That IDE really pisses me off. So I think that I'm gonna use NetBeans, Cloud 9, CodeBlocks, and Visual Studio. Those IDEs will definitely help me write some clean ass code and get through this semester. I've got to actually set the damn things up, but I'll let you all know how it goes. I also bought the book Java All-In-One for Dummies. That should help me with class, but I wanted to read it just so I could become a better programmer in general too.

Bodybuilding Nutrition
I was talking to a ripped ass friend about bodybuilding nutrition. I think from now on, I'm gonna eat some foods that are decent and convenient in my diet as well. Stuff isn't the highest quality but makes it easy to eat decently healthy. Stuff such as turkey burgers with no mayo, cold cuts, canned beans, frozen meals, frozen fruit and vegetables, peanut butter, and so on. Not the absolute best stuff in the world but it makes it easier to get ripped. Heck, my friend eats that stuff and he's shredded as hell. Also, I'm shooting for one cheat meal a week. This means that I can't be drinking excessively at shows. I might be able to get one beer, tops.

Classical Music
Been listening to classical music as I go throughout my day and program. I swear that it's making me a genius again.

Hair
Making progress. Using As I Am DoubleButter and 360Style in my hair, other things later. Brushing and audiobooks are a fire combination I must say...

Books
I have about 9.5 hours left in The Dead Key. The story's good, I'm definitely going to finish it. I hope I can finish it by my 22nd Birthday but that might not be the case. I feel like reading is making me more of a genius too, I think it's even making me better around people by putting words in my head just like Roosh said it would too.

New Shoes
I copped these Vans today. I think they're fresh af. My shoes are really starting to look beat up. I can't be going around with worn out shoes! Let me know if you all like these.

https://www.vans.com/shop/primary-c...j0KvZ_gDcUYl4WC_HwRHJqZNyDPjJWP8aApb3EALw_wcB

Private Coaching
I went ahead and dropped some cash on Dr. Nerdlove's private coaching. I get an hour private call with him on Google Hangouts. A decent amount of money to be sure, but I'm investing in my life as a Don Juan. I feel like after this call, my Game will be elevated to the next level! He's one of my Game role models, and he'll help me answer all these nagging questions that get in the way of me having an effective Game.
 
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nicksaiz65

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1/29/19 Part 2: How are you Feeling, Bro?

I've got a minute in between classes so here's an update.

Music
Music has been the only way that I'm able to power through the tedium of school so far. Classical music makes me a genius, and EDM gets me hyped and motivated. This is a deadly combination that I will continue to use into my job and so forth.

Bodybuilding Nutrition
I'm starting to agree with BigDave17: when you're trying to get ripped, you honestly don't need that much food. The human body just doesn't require it. By that same token, I'm not gonna starve myself. And still gotta get protein. I've had pretty damn good nutrition as of late. And I'll make sure I lift and do cardio at the gym today after my last class.

Another Date?
Gonna bite the bullet and ask out another one of my crushes this weekend. We'll see if she's free or not. I literally don't care if I get rejected or not. I'm still learning, so you know. Happens. But this shouldn't be too tough, and I'll update you guys on how it goes.

My Parents
I come from a very prestigious family where they all made very excellent grades and they have all turned out very successful. Sometimes I feel like my parents don't love me or view me as retarded because of how horrible my grades have been. It's ok though. When I make a 4.0(or at least pretty damn close) by the end of this semester, and my University recognizes me, I'll win back their love. And then I'll finally gain back the ability to relax, be myself, and just hang out if I want to around my parents.

Quiz
Had my first quiz in lab today. I lowkey got raped by it, but everyone else was struggling too. Since it was a 1 hour course, I thought just reading the textbook chapters twice would be enough to study for it. It wasn't. I gotta study study, because these are quiz quizzes. Hey, at least now I know. I have a quiz tomorrow in my Math class and I know exactly what's on it. I will study my butt off tonight, and I will make sure that I ace it tomorrow to fight for this 4.0 and the life that I deserve.

Hot Towel
Doing the Hot Towel Method from now on, if I don’t do what Sir Cruse says, I’m never gonna have confidence and truly love myself.

Books
Also, it would probably really help my grades if I actually had the books that I needed for these classes. I'm gonna see what I can find from torrents and PDFs. But if I can't find them, then I'll just shell out the money and rent them(or get them for cheap on eBay.) I'll pay from my own pocket using show money. My sister said that that was stupid and I should just ask my parents to buy the book. But I hate asking my parents for money, it makes me feel like a worthless loser. Especially since my grades have been so fvcked. What do you all think? I'd love to hear the Don Juan opinion on this.
 
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GrowingPains

Master Don Juan
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If your grades are bad, they will understand you looking to buy a book as a sign you are working to get them up. If you have the money, buy the books. If you don't, your parents will give it to you. If they haven't told you that they don't love you, they still love you. Most parents have unconditional love, brother. They have your best interest at heart.
 
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