1/20/19: Regarding Inner Game and a bunch of Non-Sequiturs
Hey guys, thought I would give you a quick update on how my life has been going. This isn’t really gonna have a focus, it’s gonna be just a bunch of non-sequitur updates.
I was thinking about the field Report from the other day. I really should’ve fvcked HB A right then and there. But I’m always hesitating, because these self esteem problems still plague me even a year later. So I’m honestly starting to think that my Inner Game/frame is holding me back even more that my Outer Game is. I’m just gonna have to keep tackling that in this Year of nicksaiz65.
I say this because I totally got ghosted by HB A when we were supposed to hang out yesterday. Idk what happened. I kissed her the day before. The next day she Snapchats me and tells me how good I look, and then I text her the day after confirming the date and no response. I’m not double texting her, but I may call her out on it playfully when I run into her in person again. Idk. I hope I didn’t screw this up cause I didn’t fvck her right then. I guess I just wanted to take things a bit slowly and my only goal was to kiss her???? Because I don’t believe in myself. I’ve got to get some Self Esteem and stop hesitating.
I had my hair cut by a professional barber yesterday. It was an amazing haircut. I had him even out my hair, and give me a really low temp fade. So now my hair is at Level 0 again. Time to start brushing again. I know I’ve been BSing this for so long, but now it’s time to actually get these 360 Waves in now that my hair’s even. I would love myself so much more and I would have so many more hoes. I also learned that when Self Cutting, you wanna make the hairline as crisp as you naturally can, but not so much that you push it back. I also learned to cut the crown of my hair better. I’d like to be really good at this Self Cutting Business by the second year anniversary of this journal. Also, I can use my Balding Clippers at the very bottom of a Low Taper if I want.
I took an Uber there and back to the barber shop. One of these days, sooner than later, I really need to focus on getting a car. I also need to learn to drive well enough that I’m not scared shytless to do it. I’m a horrible horrible driver. So I need to keep working towards that. But while I was chilling in the car, I decided to use the conversation techniques I learned here to keep practicing my social skills. We eventually moved to the topic of business. It turns out his dad wrote a book called “The Alligator Business Solution.” It explains business to the layman. At one point, I may want to become an entrepreneur. So I’ll definitely be picking up a copy of this.
I’ve made too many blunders in my academic career to make it to graduate school on my own merits. But if I could be an all star employee and get a company to pay for my grad school or maybe even MBA, I would most definitely do it. That way, my college grades would be irrelevant. I’ll have to do some research on that. Hell, maybe I should even go to Law School. I don’t know. How would one do that with a bunch of sh*tty grades on his transcript? All I know is that if I were a musician, programmer, lawyer, and businessman I would be rich for sure.
My band mates gave me an offer to move to a really big city and play with them once I’ve graduated. In this city, I would most definitely be able to get a programming job too. Well that could definitely be one way to put myself out there with music. What if I played in the symphony(this would be hard to do, I would have to practice my butt off to accomplish this goal and do some research too) as well as being a programmer and a member of a band? And wrote music as a freelance composer and made money off that too? That would be another excellent way to make a good livelihood. I tell you what, if I do this shyt, I had better be really good at the game in 2 years. If I don’t, I’m gonna be miserable.
I really hope that I’m able to play these two shows this weekend. If I did that, I would make at least $200 guaranteed. That would give me the money to buy coaching with Dr. Nerdlove even before my 22nd birthday. If I can get that coaching, my Outer Game will Level Up within an hour just due to my increased knowledge. Don’t wanna go to this meeting that I was supposed to that weekend. I’m gonna pray that I can send someone else in my stead because the sooner I get this Nerdlove Coaching, the better my Outer Game is gonna get.
Once I buy the coaching(my number one financial priority other than school right now,) I could also stand to get some new shoes. I was deliberating between getting some cream colored Converse, some Vans, Black Adidas Superstars, or maybe some Air Force 1s. I don’t know, but I can’t spend too too much money. Maybe I’ll get one or two pairs of shoes. After that, I need to SAVE SAVE SAVE for my summer classes so I can actually graduate college. In fact, I’ll just get one pair of athletic style shoes and maybe some boat shoes. I’ll stunt for the females with my 360 Waves, which I don’t need to buy anything for because I have all the tools I need. I’m slowly working to become more frugal.
I have about 10 hours left in the book The Dead Key. I plan to have it finished by my 22nd Birthday. Pretty good book, I’ve been reading it for too long though. I love audiobooks. This is really gonna help me Wave Up, Red Pill, and become smarter than everyone at the same time.
I’m sure the long time readers here know that I work in a bar. I used to just get as drunk as I could during work to make the time fly by. But I need six pack abs if I’m going to ascend to the next level of game. And alcohol and bodybuilding don’t mix. So this week, I limited myself to one beer and one mixed drink. And playing the show wasn’t even bad! I’m just gonna have to really cut down my alcohol consumption. I’ll save money and lose fat. Also, instead of ordering the shrimp scampi at the bar, I need to get the filet of fish and vegetables. My body and waves are gonna be critical if I ever want to be treated with respect. I’m moving forward, not backwards.
I don’t need to buy any more PUA books. I have more than enough. And my issues are more stemming from Inner Game than Outer Game anyways.
I’ve been really bad about dancing/being lit practice. I’ve gotta do better if I’m gonna blend in with the normies.
But that’s about it, guys. I hope you have a good rest of your day.
