Relationships

[flowtheory]

No many man could do this.

You need to learn that men are generally divided into 4 inherent personality traits - these are traits that men are born into.

It cannot be change.

Then it's further compounded by the feminine programming since birth into adulthood.

Understand that masculinity needs to be mentored from 1 man to another and it takes many years of learning.

1st you need to profile OP, which personality traits he's at - even in that quadrant, at what level he is and how best he should then handle a relationship.

What are the 4 personality traits?

 

[Mazer]

Frame and the amount of interest she still has in you will determine how the relationship goes.
Most of my success in relationships happen when the woman has high interest right from the get-go and continues to show that level of interest throughout the relationship. You must also be courting her, showing her a good time in and outside the bedroom. Make sure she respects you.

 

[Fzatf]

That's like chasing ghosts, I'm not a ghost buster. My wife does whatever the f*ck she wants, I have to fight tooth and nail for every last ounce of respect that I can get, which ain't much.

She wants a trip to Disney, I say, that's probably not a good idea right now. You want to guess whether or not we went to Disney? She tells me she wants to get me a dog to replace the dog I lost last June. I say no, I appreciate you trying to do that, but I'm not ready yet for another dog. Guess who got a dog yesterday, a rescue puppy that was full of worms? Yep, you guess it, me.

My wife literally doesn't listen to me worth a sh*t, so no, I'm not controlling. You have to be in control of something to be controlling.

Jesus dude. Wouldn't it be better to live free and chase new women even if it means losing a ton of cash in a divorce?

 

[highSpeed]

Jesus dude. Wouldn't it be better to live free and chase new women even if it means losing a ton of cash in a divorce?

Between the kids and finances, it's just not that simple. It's about more than money. I've got some ideas about how to make this more palatable for me though, if these ideas fail, perhaps there could be some consideration of moving on but I at least want to give these things a try first.

 

[Spaz]

What are the 4 personality traits?

You belong to the expressive passive type.

@Murkserious shares the same personality as you do.

Your natural talents would be acting, music, singing, diplomacy, poetry, painting - art, fashion, designing, etc.

You also have high EQ.

While there's positives there's also negative aspects to that personality - lack of assertiveness, dominance, masculine aggression etc.

 

[Spaz]

Between the kids and finances, it's just not that simple. It's about more than money. I've got some ideas about how to make this more palatable for me though, if these ideas fail, perhaps there could be some consideration of moving on but I at least want to give these things a try first.

Once the admiration is lost, disrespectful behaviour soon follows and in time so will the love she once had for you.

Mark my words highSpeed, for it will come to pass should you remain the same man as you are now.

 

[flowtheory]

You belong to the expressive passive type.

@Murkserious shares the same personality as you do.

Your natural talents would be acting, music, singing, diplomacy, poetry, painting - art, fashion, designing, etc.

You also have high EQ.

While there's positives there's also negative aspects to that personality - lack of assertiveness, dominance, masculine aggression etc.

How did you arrive at that?
Where are you getting this?
And what are the 3 other types?

 

[Spaz]

How did you arrive at that?
Where are you getting this?
And what are the 3 other types?

You can deny it but I know I'm spot on.

 

[highSpeed]

Once the admiration is lost, disrespectful behaviour soon follows and in time so will the love she once had for you.

Mark my words highSpeed, for it will come to pass should you remain the same man as you are now.

already working on some ideas for how to mentally change to be more assertive and less confrontational. More to come...

 

[Spaz]

already working on some ideas for how to mentally change to be more assertive and less confrontational. More to come...

1st stop blaming her.

How you think influences how you do things (the interactions with ur wife).

Start there. And if u r able to do that I'll help you further.

 

[highSpeed]

1st stop blaming her.

How you think influences how you do things (the interactions with ur wife).

Start there. And if u r able to do that I'll help you further.

My first goal, perhaps small, was to stop taking the bait. She baits and I usually take. I'm working on not taking the bait, stating my position and then letting it go.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Guys say "but my gf doesn't call or text me" that's because she's not all that into them. She should be blowing you up constantly, to the point where she is annoying the hell out of you, the real players know what I'm talking about.

The above (entire) post is well-written and 98% accurate. The above sentences are the only thing that are not an absolute. SOME women (30-50%) are shy, intimidated, and/or just old school and will not reach out especially early in a relationship, even if they are into you. And the ones that do blow up your phone too early on can be dominant females, clingy, or just nutso. Men, being assertive, leaders, and dominant, SHOULD do some of the pursuing (as opposed to chasing--and there is a huge difference).

Otherwise, this is spot-on.

 

[Murk]

already working on some ideas for how to mentally change to be more assertive and less confrontational. More to come...

You can try but often times when people like us do that we go OTT and get called aggressive or unreasonable, tread carefully

 

[highSpeed]

You can try but often times when people like us do that we go OTT and get called aggressive or unreasonable, tread carefully

OTT? I'm not sure I'm familiar with that.

 

[Murk]

OTT? I'm not sure I'm familiar with that.

Over the top, overcompensation for what’s not natural to us

 

[highSpeed]

Over the top, overcompensation for what’s not natural to us

Ahh, ok, well, I'm just going to have to learn to not get irritated about it anymore. I know I'm right. I've gotten some confirmation over the last month that has clearly shown me I'm in the right. I don't need her validation. My opinion, she can agree with it or not but I'm still going to give it, not in an angry or confrontational way but in a matter of fact way.

 

[flowtheory]

You can deny it but I know I'm spot on.

I didn’t deny anything. Simply inquiring to know how you arrived at this. And a link to the personality types would be appreciated so I can learn more..

 

[Murk]

I didn’t deny anything. Simply inquiring to know how you arrived at this. And a link to the personality types would be appreciated so I can learn more..

It’s not information in public domain

 

[The Duke]

-Don't stop doing the things that attracted her to you in the first place.
-Always remain somewhat of a challenge.
-Never care more about the relationship than she does.
-Pick your battles.
-Don't stop doing your hobbies, and hanging with your guy friends.
-Turn her down for sex every now and then.
-Don't always be available to her.
-Women must miss you to stay attracted to you.
-They must chase to make it work. When they stop chasing, create space. -@Guru1000

It sucks that it has to be this way. But if you want to win, you must live by this.

 

[highSpeed]

-Don't stop doing the things that attracted her to you in the first place.
-Always remain somewhat of a challenge.
-Never care more about the relationship than she does.
-Pick your battles.
-Don't stop doing your hobbies, and hanging with your guy friends.
-Turn her down for sex every now and then.
-Don't always be available to her.
-Women must miss you to stay attracted to you.
-They must chase to make it work. When they stop chasing, create space. -@Guru1000

It sucks that it has to be this way. But if you want to win, you must live by this.

It's the turning down for sex part that I have to work on. I could have literally jerked off like 5 minutes ago and if she says let's have sex, it's like a f*cking pavlovian response, hard in like one second.