So I figured out how to be more socially effective than ever

[sosousage]

I talk to people and I focus 100% on them (talk like they are the only person in the world), I make sure I want absolutely nothing out of the encounter (empty all agendas) and I let the interaction happen as naturally and as slowly as possible. This goes in line with the wanting nothing out of the encounter - when you focus on just being yourself and being natural, you're way way more likable


I've had like 5 conversations with people in the last week or so (2 girls who went to high school with me - they're married so neither one is dateable, 4 other dudes) and literally all of them asked for my number and wanted to be my friend. I've been good at talking to people and making friends for a long time but right now I would put my social skills up there with anybody. I can make people like me immensely and very very quickly.


...despite this knowledge, I'm still absolutely terrified of approaching attractive women in terms of dating. I still feel like they're an alien species with completely impossible standards who will never like me unless I'm impossibly perfect in every way. /facepalm

pls never stop being social weirdo

 

[sazc]

I just have to take pride in my positive traits - both the superficial and that I'm a good person and treat people very well

I need to make myself believe that I deserve an awesome girlfriend

I say you need to challenge yourself to exist outside of your comfort zone

 

[bigdave17]

I say you need to challenge yourself to exist outside of your comfort zone

when I was a young kid, I made dating and women the most impossible thing in the world

i just need to somehow convince myself that women are just normal people

 

[steelpulse]

What gets me is how people get so annoyed and down right mad at Dave’s posts. Then start the hyena attacks like a bunch of FB drama queens. I am emberrased for sosuave to see the way some people have acted towards Dave lately. And the same people keep repeatedly reading his posts even after getting so upset. You guys are not moderators so you don’t have to read posts from posters that get under your skin. Ignore the posts. Or ignore poster entirely. No different in the fact that CNN news reporting pizzes me off, so I don’t look at CNN anymore. Nothing requires that I have to. Simple logic to me.

You're oversimplifying the situation. Dave comes into other threads and derails them by trying to make each and every thread a narcissistic 'look at me' thread. This means even if you studiously ignore him, you can't really because he will try to steer everything on the forum into his direction.

Let's say you take the extra step of putting him on 'ignore.' Others are still responding to him trying to get him to go away which derails these threads even further, making them pointless, unreadable or both.

It also discourages people who might participate otherwise since he starts so many new threads, all revolving around several narcissistic themes: hopelessness, (implied) racism, and the incompetence of others to help him. This gives the impression to the casual reader that the forum is unmoderated and has no clear guidelines for anyone to follow. It looks like a free for all without clear limits, without any limits, really. Overall, it creates a very negative tenor and tone, totally antithetical to the purpose of the forum which is to help one another become more confident and competent men. When posters demonstrate a steadfast resistance to acting like the adults that they are, the forum becomes a laughingstock.

In any event, you have made your position clear, but claiming you can easily ignore his posts is a vast and unrealistic oversimplification. The only way to do so is by simply ignoring the entire forum altogether.

 

[steelpulse]

This is the type of forum which would give just about anyone pause before posting.

Looking at the first page, half of the threads and probably at least half of all posts in the past couple of days are from a single poster.

These types of forums can attract some very unusual people, clear outliers. That makes it almost impossible to draw legitimate, useful advice from here.

 

[steelpulse]

As far as Dave he's suddenly made a miraculous transformation, into a positivity self-help guru almost overnight. These types of attention-grabbing con games wear thin. It may not be technically against forum guidelines but there is no doubt that it almost completely destroys the credibility of the forum.

 

[logicallefty]

In any event, you have made your position clear, but claiming you can easily ignore his posts is a vast and unrealistic oversimplification. The only way to do so is by simply ignoring the entire forum altogether.

Or you can find one of Dave's posts, click on his alias, then click on ignore. And you will never be able to see any of his posts. From then on you don't even have to put any effort into ignoring him, the forum software does it for ya. Then you can go upon your business reading all of the posts from the people who don't rattle your cage. Pretty cool, huh?

 

[Chi Town]

Lol @ not calling people out or openly expressing my opinions because of other posters "feelings"

You guys are grown ass men, if you can't handle sh!t talk, debating or other guys calling you out then go get a sex change.

 

[Spaz]

As far as Dave he's suddenly made a miraculous transformation, into a positivity self-help guru almost overnight. These types of attention-grabbing con games wear thin. It may not be technically against forum guidelines but there is no doubt that it almost completely destroys the credibility of the forum.

The credibility of the forum is not being shouldered by Dave.

Neither is your credibility enhanced to the likes of me when you pander and regurgitate popular notions about Dave.

 

[steelpulse]

Or you can find one of Dave's posts, click on his alias, then click on ignore. And you will never be able to see any of his posts. From then on you don't even have to put any effort into ignoring him, the forum software does it for ya. Then you can go upon your business reading all of the posts from the people who don't rattle your cage. Pretty cool, huh?

This function actually works beautifully.

On a positive note, the functionality of the forum is excellent overall.

 

[logicallefty]

This function actually works beautifully.

On a positive note, the functionality of the forum is excellent overall.

Excellent

 

[logicallefty]

On this forum, mods ban legendary posters for a one-off drunken post bender but allow blatant toxic incels to spam the whole forum, it's bizarre.

We ban people who are great posters until they get into the top 20 most liked posters and let it go to their head and start becoming d!cks to others. Guys who Can’t handle being at the top. Reference Poon King, Tenacity, BigNeil, and some others. All legends until they got popular. You are getting pretty popular yourself I hope you don’t follow their path.

 

[bigdave17]

I'm absolutely on fire socially

I talked to an old co worker and his girlfriend for 10 minutes today and they were begging me to hang out with them
Talked to another dude for a few minutes and he wanted to hang out with me pretty quickly


still can't conquer my anxiety with women and feel like they're impossible alien creatures.

 

[bigdave17]

You just need to show genuine interest and appreciation for these women just like you are doing with other people. . The universal principle of attraction is people like you because you like them. The best value you can offer to people is making them feel good about themselves. This is why a lot of players do well despite a lack of objective value or status.

I just wanted to add this is really great advice


Be very interested in people while being completely outcome detached/want nothing in return. This is the absolute key of social domination


Ask lots of questions, be genuinely interested in what they have to say...while keeping it smooth and wanting nothing in return