The Facebook Audit

[logicallefty]

My GF talks marriage. I blow it off. Until finally I say "OK, lets have the tough conversations if you really want to... No marriage until we have these"... She says "OK, yes, have them Lefty"... I say OK, how many men on your Facebook friends list have you fvcked that you don't have kids with.. Cuz I will replicate that in the # of past female sex partners I keep in contact with... ".... Annd.... Wow... Just wow.... She is trying to justify them now... I gave her a few freebies.... But we had two left she couldn't justify.. I integrated her as to why she had to keep them.. (I am a cop and I have integrated before)... No response... No reason...

She stomped off to bed.. At my house.. We don't live together... She is on the phone now griping about how 'mean' I am with a female friend...

Define boundaries, my bros... Define them.. Have the tough conversations... I may get dumped tonight and you know what? I don't fvcking care... If she has two FB orbiters, then I will have two orbiters too.... Equal playing field....

 

[flowtheory]

Why ask such a question though?

 

[Spaz]

Ur girlfriend must be a single mommy.

And just so you know, there's no such thing as a level playing field.

Either one submits to the dominant one or nothing will ever work.

And it must be the man who maintains that dominance.

If she has multiple orbiters whom she has previously fvcked, on FB, then dump her and not waste precious time over a used nearly expired product whom is pushing you into marriage to fulfil the feminine imperative = her survival 1st and that of her offspring's.

Dump her lefty.

Get a younger childless chick and mold her into your world.

 

[Ranger]

She’s not genuinely desiring you lefty.

 

[AttackFormation]

Seems ineffective at actually dropping their orbiters, they can just keep them at other platforms, but it is a potential way (don't think I'd do this myself) to see how much she really wants you and to shut her shrieks for commitment up if she doesn't.

 

[backseatjuan]

I see you trying to raise her interest level up to 11. Eventually you want to get married, and have children, because eventually you will get old, stop getting ass, be all alone. What she does is much more important, that's why you need to spy on her through her cell phone. If she has android phone, you gotta root it and install reptilicus onto it, which will allow you sea and hear everything she does on her phone, including dialing into it and hearing the background. That is the only way you can be sure she is not cheating. Tough talk though, is not what you had, it is a prenuptial agreement in which you get to keep her house and her car.

Some would say right now beta move. I would say if you got something serious this is exactly the thing you need to do. Even listening to how she speaks about you is priceless.

 

[highSpeed]

Keeing the frame is always a win.

Then don't get married, no matter how good the deal seams.

 

[Glassguy]

There are some things that you just dont want to discuss. Precious fvck partners are at the top of the list.
Heck my fb friends list has tons of chicks that I've fvcked. I'm indifferent and they might be too.....I would be very immature if I couldnt remain fb friends with a chick I slept with.

If just using this talk as bait to end the marriage talk by starting a fight: is that really the best way? Why not just say that you're not interested in getting married right now?

 

[highSpeed]

One can be married and still keep the frame.

Tough, really tough to do. It takes real conscious effort. Maintaining frame is not effortless, unless of course you're going to constantly be managing this and other relationships, meaning you intend to have other women on the hook potentially, as a constant incentive for her to continue to behave. That and having the right paperwork to protect yourself, your finances and relationship with your kids. If I have to do all of that to properly manage my marriage? No thanks, it's not worth that hassle. As the great Eddie Murphy once said, "I don't care if sparks shoot out her a$$, there's no p*ssie in the world worth half."

 

[highSpeed]

You are exactly right on a prenup. That is an absolute must have.

Frames can be rattled by externalities if you allow it. But those with the strongest inner game continue to hold frame no matter what happens.

You do not need other women on the hook to hold frame, nor do you need methods for her to behave.

You simply need the ability and fortitude to know that your desires, not hers, are the primary purpose of your life.

I would generally agree with that statement. Two things I'll say, one, tough to do without the agreement in place. You need that paperwork to diminish the losses you would have if the marriage doesn't work out.

Also, no matter what paperwork you have in place, if you have kids, it's going to be tough to keep that frame, extremely tough. Look, once kids are in the mix, you're now connected at the hip to her, whether you want to be or not. She will use them against you, no doubt about it. There may be the rare woman who doesn't but by far, easily, most will use them against you. Even if you're still married, kids are a hook to whittle away your frame. I know, I'm undermined and therefore my frame, is undermined all the time. Without the kids? There would be a lot of digging in the heels and foot being put down. With kids? It's tough to do. The kids mostly gravitate towards her, she spends the days with them. I work, she plays with them. I play during the evening, but she gets more time with them generally. And she actually has the guts to complain sometimes when I do play with them in the evening, saying she did housework and other stuff during the day so she didn't get to play as much as she wanted.

Two, western women don't listen anymore because they know they don't have to. Look, family courts are a toss up. You could have the best, iron clad pre-nup in the world. Judge can look straight at it, consider it unfair to her or the kids and throw it out with no legal foundation to do so, simply because they thought it was unfair.

I love my kids but if I understood the scenario I was setting myself up in by having them? Boy, it would be tough to convince me at this point to do so. Honestly, they are my kids genetically but they're not really my kids. They are her kids and I get to hang out with them. I get it, you want to give guys advice and I'm all for that but once you've kind of screwed yourself with moves like no pre-nup and having kids, you're at her mercy. She can only lose at that point if she screws up. You may be able to do some little things to help close the gap a bit but you're still living in her world.

 

[sazc]

If you don't ever want to get married again, why not just tell her that and let her make her own decisions?

 

[AJ84]

My GF talks marriage. I blow it off. Until finally I say "OK, lets have the tough conversations if you really want to... No marriage until we have these"... She says "OK, yes, have them Lefty"... I say OK, how many men on your Facebook friends list have you fvcked that you don't have kids with.. Cuz I will replicate that in the # of past female sex partners I keep in contact with... ".... Annd.... Wow... Just wow.... She is trying to justify them now... I gave her a few freebies.... But we had two left she couldn't justify.. I integrated her as to why she had to keep them.. (I am a cop and I have integrated before)... No response... No reason...

She stomped off to bed.. At my house.. We don't live together... She is on the phone now griping about how 'mean' I am with a female friend...

Define boundaries, my bros... Define them.. Have the tough conversations... I may get dumped tonight and you know what? I don't fvcking care... If she has two FB orbiters, then I will have two orbiters too.... Equal playing field....

I don’t get the FB condition stuff. If she has all of these men and past ex bfs on her FB how is her removing them because you asked her to addressing the fact that she has them all on her FB to begin with? The only reason why she would do it at this point is because you placed it as a condition re marriage.
If a woman is complying because you want her to, because you are giving an ultimatum, etc, not because she took the initiative to, that’s a sign that perhaps marriage isn’t a good idea.

 

[AJ84]

I agree, and in this case that probably means just breaking up with her if you can't trust her and not doing an audit of her Facebook friends haha. Like I said I've done it and it was pretty messy, is basically fighting fire with fire which doesn't seem to work in relationships.



I'm not even sure if it's a problem anymore. Like it's a red flag to be an attention seeker and exes are a form of attention but the worst of the worst women I dated are blocked and I will never speak to again while the better ones are still around because they can be civil or even friends.

It seems to be a problem for him though, otherwise why bring it up with her? I’m getting the sense that he doesn’t want her to be in contact with ex’s regardless of whether they are civil or friends. Maybe there’s a valid reason behind that. Not sure.

 

[marmel75]

This just seems kind of whack bro.

 

[sazc]

Do you not ever want to get married again and used this as a way to create conflict to divert off that topic?
Or
Was this simply a power play?
Or
Are you really worried that your smv will be usurped by one of her fb orbitor exes?
Or
Do you simply not believe that she will remain loyal to you, so you demand for her to narrow the possibility circle?

We're you drinking last night?

 

[backseatjuan]

Look boys, I'm telling you, take my word for it. Listening to the way she talks about you behind your back will tell so much more stuff that you can't gauge through her actions alone. All that theory can only give you theory, wire tapping gives you hands on. In this day and age it's easy and it's doable. You break that woman's phone, and you call up repair guy you already know, he fixes it and installs the bug, done deal. When you done and want to remove it, you just send in a command, and that thing is gone.

It's just like a pre buy car inspection at the dealer.

 

[AJ84]

It is a variant of "With these men around I cannot take you seriously".

Ultimately it is disrespectful of him, and he flushed out her position.

So you’re saying the move is for him to also have women around and hence not take her seriously?
Disrespect me and I will disrespect you? If it’s about one upping each other what’s the point of even being in a relationship?
Waste of energy I would think.
If someone is disrespectful then why invest anything into them at all? Playing them at their game is investing.

 

[AJ84]

Look boys, I'm telling you, take my word for it. Listening to the way she talks about you behind your back will tell so much more stuff that you can't gauge through her actions alone. All that theory can only give you theory, wire tapping gives you hands on. In this day and age it's easy and it's doable. You break that woman's phone, and you call up repair guy you already know, he fixes it and installs the bug, done deal. When you done and want to remove it, you just send in a command, and that thing is gone.

It's just like a pre buy car inspection at the dealer.

If you are that suspicious that she’s lying that you would do something like that then best not to be in the relationship at all.

 

[backseatjuan]

If you are that suspicious that she’s lying that you would do something like that then best not to be in the relationship at all.

Bull. Doesn't mean sh1t at all. It's just an extra step before making a big decision. It's like getting tested for aids before fvcking without condom.

 

[sazc]

Bull. Doesn't mean sh1t at all. It's just an extra step before making a big decision. It's like getting tested for aids before fvcking without condom.

Well, while I follow your logic, it does still follow that, if you are so unsure that you need to have a bug planted in her phone, that speaks volumes about the level of security you are feeling about your relationship.